( Eliza’s POV)

  This is the end….. I have doubted all my sins and intrusive thoughts, as well as reflecting myself again with the one i believed in. It felt as if the day of wrath has come to crush the world humans lived in yet I am one of those who survive while still watching the world falls apart.

  The diary is somehow, way too useless and inconvenient because the fact that I am rather a demise woman. But at the same time, I can still move, form thoughts and lusting over blood as source of foods.

  And I have said, farewell to viability, as the rewarding journey has fated me to infused a new reality. Alas, Duke Dmitri Stephanov has turned me into demiseless being. Everything is very painful, and I felt no power over my body, as if this cursed from the bite kept on taking over my behaviors as a beast.

  Everything becoming unbearable to dealt with, I must, I must have other beings splurged blood for my sake of stomach!

  Right now, Swetlana is standing in front of me, I am on the chair, being tied on with gag on my mouth and Swetlana slit her wrist, blood endlessly flows down until it hits the floor. My eyes slightly turn brighter red from cherry red, fangs enlarged, drools becoming endless soaking the gag silk and my growls, were just not human as i hiss and loudly roared with the deadless organ that supplying my sounds of voice.

  I kept unconsciously resists the surprisingly difficult rope as I can’t help myself but needed blood horribly or else I will die and perish as a haze.

  “ newborns failed lusts as it seems…” Kion says , observing me from behind.

  “ Well, all of us done that is it? She is merely a newborn!” Duke Dmitri became defensive towards me.

  Those two demiseless beast were quarrelling while I am here tortured as well as in agonizing battle between lust and the desperate need of hunger. My dead brain hindered me from doubting and thinking on why I became like this. Was this truly my fault for accept the offer? Was this task assigned by my creator or am I truly meant to end up with such tragic faith? Oh whoever is now watching over me, I seek nothing rather answers for the cause of my case of becoming the feared just as them.

  This endless lust goes on, I am being restrained, I remain nothing constant rather increase my strength to breakthrough. Hitherto, the rope break into two fast as broken rubber band and I lunged on Swetlana , seemingly worse than a baba yaga

  “ SERVE ME BLOOD OR DEATH TO YOUR IMMORTALITY…” I said in creaky voice with deeper version of an old banshee, already at my edge when my lust and hunger is being tested.

  Swetlana is surprisingly composed, leaving me wonder why. I growled to the breaking point I truly desired to devoured Swetlana’s head that stored most blood judging from ny strong senses of smell. As I open my jaw, I was in excitement delight to taste her until, a shocking sensation, burning and hell feeling lands on the back of my head, Olga has stabbed my back head with medallion iron pin which not only burn yet molded my demiseless flesh that’s been rotten since vampires flesh are rotten black but molded when the pin is being stabbed.

  With all my heart, i screamed all my dead lungs out, producing such glorious pierced screams akin to baba yaga, old banshee and some demonic entity as I am truly in verge of death as if my soul wasn’t allowed to rest in peace. As my scream goes on, Vladimir at the back laughs in a jester style naturally. “ FOOLISH NEWBORNS” He mocked me.

  Everyone around circling me, all with such serious facial expressions as if they were Gods who are evaluating me and counting all my sins for existing and reborn. Dmitri knelt down, held my chin and mercilessly says “ we do not slaughter any members here, either you control or you’ll give me a clear answer that you truly are just demon disguising as my lover” He said with blackened null red eyes which is scariest known to man and he push me down,causing me to hit my head on marble floor like a vulnerable glass doll.

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  How can being demiseless still gives me pain? It was truly excruciating that I felt nothing to rise again for. Father Viktor only watches from the back and seems like he couldnt do anything to even bother me nor questioning.

  My memory became as very plain as a house without furnitures. It is excruciatingly difficult for me to digest the memories of my days before my demiseless. As if I have meant to reborn the second I died and unable to keep those human memories. I was tied down again, this time have to truly bear the sight of Swetlana, now prepare to cut open her wounds, purposely let blood flows testing my beast tolerance to drink blood. I was anxiously panting, unable to keep up my newborn beast body of a vampire. All I wanted is blood, blood and blood or nothing.

  I sat on the chair, helpless and tortured as these beasts were testing my ability to tolerate lusts with whatever reason I do not know. I felt very loss and I tried to look away, but smell is very strong I am unable to keep up to control myself. I drooled a lot, and the drool in question are rather filth black liquid of vampires of Rus to have.

  “ Come on, Eliza, get yourself together!” Dmitri commanded me and I was left without choice but to surrender myself, painfully hold myself together as this torture method keeps on going.

  Soon as the sun rises , after what took eternity to me, Dmitri cut open his wound, release me from being tied up and I deliberately drink his blood. The taste is truly sweet as sugary drinks I couldn’t resist it.

  “ You will adapt soon,” Says Dmitri, leaving me doubting if his sadism is truly love.

  Everyone else fixed whatever I broke due to my intense force reaction and Kion Nazar, went to me, tries to wipe my mouth but received eerie hiss from Dmitri.

  “ You shall not lay a hand on her… not even slight guidance” He commanded and Kion just stood there and he backs off from the sight, disappearing. There, I learnt that Kion is capable of disappearing himself.

  Anton went to me, wiped the trails of blood off my cheeks and she says “ It is indeed agonizing, but abstaining yourself from bloodlust is something I’ve been through, too. I remembered being staked for few times on stomach for unable to hold my lust. So, never think it is simple and preventable.” Anton told me, with those serious eyes he gave me.

  Too many irrational thoughts thrive into me. I wonder and just wonder who I am? Am I just amnesiac? Or? Was I fated to be unexplainable as this?

  On another hour, I walked near the room where I felt familiar sensation of my mortal days. The bedding almost never changed. The curtains looks very dim, like a sad color and here I am standing and remembering the trip little by little yet left no fear? Am I truly oppressed? Or was I rather, fated to become the kind of fear I was destined into?

  I saw some familiar book, looks very familiar as if it was touched five minutes ago with my own hands. I let my skin contacted with the skin of the book, somehow it felt rather very cold and hard. Just as i skim through, I was stoned. Each pages, disclosed about my recent past exciting life as a postulant. The sunday masses, the trip to help the poor, blessings from the nuns and priests.

  Just as I skip another, A pen stuck. I touch the pen. I attempted to process what to write. Nevertheless, the pen was within seconds gone from my hands and my left wrist where my left hands hold the book was grabbed by a familiar man.I turned around and it was Dmitri who held me.

  “ Your past life are nothing but illusion, erode them, completely “ He said, with the hint of those dominant commanding eyes. I squealed in pain +, unable to react anything. Just as I try to close the book, he with speed force take the book away from me, absolutely ripping it off pieces by pieces and burn the book into the Basilica-Castle’s furnace. I watched with no words, no emotions nor hurt. Rather, deep confusion with uncomfortable sensation, witnessing my journal from mortal days were burnt.

  “ The past life were never meant to be the authenticity of your true soul, they were there to make you cling into nothing but meaningless life of temporary living,” Dmitri says, eyes glowing bright red.

  Then, he left without words, leaving me stumbled. I look at myself on mirror, my face is truly becoming as pale, rather transparent white, like a snow queen aimlessly discovering on who she truly is, feeling like a complete fool and a dull woman she is.

  Truly I should needless to say, I am clueless on this unfamiliar life. I felt like living as a new ghost but with complete physical body and experience the bizarre deeper than the ordinary livings.

  What was I truly made for if not for bloodlust and the hollow of Rus?

  Why was Dmitri acted thereby? Was he truly being protective of a devil of a man? Those questions that seems simple had me struck on a moment.