I wasn’t surprised that i woke up, I mean that is kind of expected when you go to sleep right? You expect that waking back up is in the plan. No, what surprised me was the loud ass noise going on around me. It sounded like alarms going off, and when I opened my eyes i saw a bright flashing red light all over the place. I tried to focus on the room I was in. It was small, square, everything was made of metal. Floors, walls, ceiling, all of it metal. Then I noticed the pipes along the ceiling, Snaking through the walls, Even most of the floor was grates with more pipes snaking through the crawl space underneath. Like a lot of pipes, and I wasn’t in the Cryostasis Vat anymore. I mean you do kind of expect to at least be in the same thing you fell asleep in. I was on a regular metal hospital gurney.

  I was a little groggy, memory cloudy but I still had a fairly reasonable recollection of what happened before I left Earth. The main thing in my head was I was going to a space prison. This looked more like a space station than something built in an asteroid. I’m not an expert on asteroid size prison complexes or anything, But I was expecting walls made of rock, or something like that. Instead literally everything was gray steel and more pipes than you had reasons to pump things through them. I think a few of them just snaked around the room and back to where it started. I’m not sure, like I said I was still cloudy.

  The next surprise was that I could actually move my body, I mean after being asleep in a coma for four years you kind of expect your limbs to have atrophied over the time period. Not me I guess I was good to go. threw my legs over the side and stood right up. I started searching the room for a door, looking everywhere.

  After several panic inducing seconds, I finally noticed a shallow indentation on one wall in roughly the size of a doorway. I approached it and Swoosh the door flew up into the ceiling, revealing an entryway to a small hallway. I stepped out into the hallway and a voice spoke over what i recognized as an intercom somewhere within the wall or ceiling.

  “Warning, warning. Enemies are approaching, prepare for combat” She spoke with a high pitch energetic female voice. Kind of like the voice you hear from video game characters that have a presumed cheerleader, popular girl background. It was too god damn chipper for this situation. Also, did she just say something about enemies approaching.

  “Did she just say something about enemies approaching?” I asked into the void. There was nothing around to actually hear me but the lovely ambiance of space station catastrophe. I wasn’t a fan of how they had decorated, Everything was boring and plain. The walls were a metallic substance of some sort. Most likely answer was basic steel, rivets lined every panel, piecing the walls together panel by panel. Various vents were scattered across the lower part of the walls, Flashing emergency lights were placed every ten feet or so just above head height, just high enough that it flashed directly in your eyes when it went off and they were going off non stop. They constantly kept flashing red over and over again, piercing my retina’s with a crimson assault of panic and confusion. Pipes really did line everything, it had to be like thirty different pipping networks through this single hallway. but I also didn’t think I was going to get the chance to complain.

  “Yes I did Voyager. You currently have two enemies in close proximity to you, and are closing the space very quickly. Prepare for combat.” She replied way to happily.

  “Prepare for what now?”

  “Combat, Voyager. Your existence is in peril and you must defend yourself” She replied as if this was the most exciting thing she had seen in years.

  “How do I do that?” I asked with growing panic.

  “I would suggest by getting ready to fight” She suggested to me.

  “I don’t have a weapon, what am i suppose to do?”

  Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

  “Anything is a weapon, with enough ingenuity or blunt force trauma.” she helpfully informed me.

  I looked around and noticed a loose Pipe on the wall. It was ,conveniently, only attached on one side, so I grabbed it and yanked. It didn’t come free at first.

  “Aw, fuck. Come on you stupid pipe, I need you. Didn’t you hear the creepy cheerleader lady. I have to defend myself and your the best thing to do it with” I pleaded with the pipe as I yanked and wiggled it.

  Then I noticed the threading on the bottom of the pipe.

  “Are you fucking serious, you’re a screw on?” I yelled incredulously.

  I twisted the pipe hard to the left and it began to spin like a well oiled barring. It came loose in seconds and I raised my new weapon like a make shift baseball bat and took my position, ready to fight whatever other prisoners were coming my way.

  Did I really arrive right when a riot broke out? What the hell were they thinking, were on a damn asteroid. You can’t just escape this place. What would even be the point? Why am I really worrying about this right now?

  I heard in the outer reaches of my perception a chiming noise. it was hard to notice but something in me registered it. I filed it away in my mind for later.

  “congratulations Voyager, you have officially armed yourself with a makeshift weapon. now prepare for combat, the two enemies are right around, That corner.” she materialized beside me.

  She was a small purple ish hued Sprite. about two feet tall. she reminded me of a video game character. a Mix between Navi from Legend of Zelda and Cortana from Halo. She wore what seemed like a cheerleader outfit with no distinct markings on it. She smiled way to wide and looked like she wanted to explore my insides like a science experiment. She didn’t seem hostile, just excessively curious.

  She pointed to the end of the hall right as two giant ducks entered the hallway. I kid you fucking not. They were Ducks, but they were the size of German Shepherds. They came waddling into the fucking hallway.

  you have got to be fucking kidding me with this shit. Was all i could think about.

  “You have got to be fucking kidding me” i said to the purple cotton candy embodied sprite

  “Nope, no kidding here Voyager, those are Malicious Mallards, and they want nothing more than to eat the flesh right off your bones. Prepare for Combat.” That high pitched chipper voice was getting old fast.

  “fuck this” I said as I stepped towards the Malicious Mallards. spinning my pipe with my wrist. Not exactly how I envisioned my first hour or so in space prison, but I can improvise. as there is just no planning for nefarious water fowl. As i got closer my spine shivered with my first ghastly observation. I could see human like teeth lining the inside of their bills. I realized there was a whole new reason to be more cautious of these Web footed heathens, than the ones down on Earth.

  As I got closer they began to show more and more signs of aggression, until finally. the one closest to me took off like a bullet fired from a gun. I dogged right and swung the pipe as hard as I could into the head of the feathered foe. That’s when I noticed something pop up above the winged psychos head. It was a health bar, a god damned health bar. It showed two distinct colors filling the floating rectangle. Green and red. The green dominated about two-thirds of the bar. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I was beginning to figure it out.

  I swung again with an upward trajectory and came in right under the Ducks bill. Throwing it into the air and and throwing it onto its wide back. This knocked its health down to almost nothing. I stepped forward and brought the pipe down again. Emptying the green bar completely, It was dead. Then getting my stance ready I stared at the other one.

  “Come on you son of a bitch, bring it!” I screamed hard at the second one.

  It raised itself up to full height, stared at me for a hard second. Then took off in the opposite direction back around the corner. My arms dropped heavily to my side and I let out a long held breathe, relief flooded my body as I relaxed. I was tired as hell, and adrenaline was slowly leaking out of my muscles.

  Ding! That loud chime went off again, and I realized that both the loud alarms and flashing lights at finally stopped. What was that ding I once again wondered.

  “What was that Ding?” I questioned to the cheerleader sprite thing.

  “That was you collecting Experience points, Voyager” The upbeat elf sprite thing answered. “For defeating a malicious Mallard you gained five experience points, Congratulations.”

  “I gained experience points? what the actual fuck.” I said in exasperation. Looking around and taking in my full surroundings. The hallway looked similar to a basic space station setup from any Sci-Fi show or game. Then it started to click into place and so many emotions began to crash down on me all at once.

  “Am I in a God damn Video Game?!”