"Yep, totally safe up here! Just lots of blood and fire!" Phanya called down, half-sarcastically. "C'mon Tapper, you're next!"
Tapper tried to follow after and instantly tripped, cursing his low oil debuff, but he didn't complain when Ricky threw him over the distance instead. Salazar complained enough for both of them when it was his turn to fly, cursing all the loot Ricky had taped to the gurney. Ricky couldn't climb the unstable wreckage or jump the distance with his heavy armor, so he listened to his Blacksmithing knowledge and picked a support beam on the second floor that could, probably, support his weight.
He threw his Chain gizmo at the beam and gravity sent it tumbling back down, only now with an energy chain anchored to the point of impact, and his enhanced strength easily climbed the linkages. Ricky wondered whether he should be annoyed that no one noticed he had two gizmos now, or happy that Phanya wasn't chewing him out for "wasting time" by salvaging any gears he could find in the basement. Instead, a new question emerged as he joined everyone else on the next floor.
"Wow, that's a lot of blood. So, um, where are all the bodies?"
"You didn't see the big flaming fuck eating everyone?" Salazar snapped, but then he shuddered and his temper cooled. "Everything that crawls out of the Phase is a bloodthirsty monster."
"Speaking of, the wee beasties seem intent on following their leader," Tapper said, and indicated back down.
Anklebiter gremlins were starting to crawl up the rubble as a slow but steady carpet of flesh and teeth, while others grew impatient and started cannibalizing one another. The party hurried out of the clean storage room when one of the larger gremlins grew a mutated pair of wings and screeched at them. The main office floor still contained scores of fighting raiders and everyone kept their heads down, but after a few detours to avoid combat or fires they eventually found the rear door they had originally entered through.
"Blessed tarmac, we made it out," Salazar sighed. He clicked on his radio and informed Makenna that they were ready, giving her instructions on how to perform a careful five-point turn out of their hiding spot. Instead, the jitney lurched forward and slid down the garbage dune's slope, starting a small avalanche loud enough to drown out Salazar's cursing.
"Raiders definitely heard that," Phanya groaned. "Everyone run!"
Bullets started nipping at their heels as the party crossed the open space and Ricky fell to the rear, using his Bulwark ability to intercept any shots that posed an actual threat. Luckily, raiders famously don't bother to maintain their blackpowder and gas pressure guns, so his armor absorbed the damage and everyone made it through the jitney's door without further injury.
Salazar instantly started shoving all the loot off his lap and threw an accusatory finger at Makenna. "The hell was that? Do you even know how to drive? You damn near rolled the car!"
"No, I don't know how to drive! I can't even see over the freakin' wheel!" Makenna shot back. She turned around in the driver's seat and waved her arms to demonstrate the size difference, but once she made her point Makenna quickly reined in her emotions. She didn't acknowledge the bullets pinging off the jitney as she hopped off the driver's seat and walked down the car's length. "I am glad that everyone is okay. Have a good day," she calmly said, and shut the door to the panic room.
"What is her deal?" Phanya quietly wondered.
"All those amalgams got a fucking death wish," Salazar grumbled, and resumed cursing when he fell off the gurney. "Damnit bot, what in the hell did you do to my legs? I'm still numb from the waist down!"
"Then let Ricky drive!"
"Can't, working on something!" Ricky answered, waving Phanya off without looking up from the workbench.
Tapper suddenly hoisted Salazar up by the armpits and spoke over his complaining, "Not to worry, friend! I have been serving as your legs, and I shall continue to do so!" He plopped down onto the driver's seat with Salazar on his lap, and after some struggling the mercenary realized what he meant.
"...This is so stupid." A truck rammed into the side of the jitney and sent everyone tumbling, but Tapper wrapped his arms around Salazar's chest and his back spindles held them both to the seat. "Fuck it then, let's get stupid," Salazar announced, mostly to help steel his resolve as he switched the jitney's wheels to the tank tracks. "Hit the gas, bot!" The jitney rumbled forward and Salazar took the wheel in both hands, but to Tapper's dismay he turned directly towards the truck that hit them.
"Excuse me Salazar, but we are on a collision course with — "
"Don't slow down, or we're all dead!"
It ran against all logic, but Tapper trusted in Salazar's driving judgment if it meant protecting his wards. Tapper overrode the safety parameters blaring away in his mind and pressed the gas pedal all the way down, wincing away from the oncoming impact. The ramshackle truck crumpled under their heavy treads, and a notification in his vision informed Tapper that two raiders perished inside their ride. His groans at the unnecessary deaths went unheard under Salazar's cheering.
"Hell yeah, time for some payback!" Sadistic pleasure dripped off every word as Salazar swung the wheel towards the front of the building, and Tapper started to question the mercenary's motives.
Scores of raiders swarmed a dozen vehicles in the front parking lot, all in open combat against the remaining security robots, though Tapper could not accurately count anything beneath the miniature sun raging overhead. The beguiler never stopped burning and it never stopped attacking any nearby threat, ramming its spikes against raiders and security bots alike. Salazar demolished another vehicle before he switched the jitney back to its six wheels and instantly picked up speed, weaving between further obstacles and drawing everyone's attention.
This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
"How is that bouncing ball of boundless burning still alive?" Tapper wailed.
Ricky crawled over the workbench to press his face against the window, half-formed ideas forgotten by Tapper's question. He stared at the monster and his eyes adjusted to the flames, giving him a shockingly clear view as it bounced down and impaled a raider on its spikes. The poor victim squirmed in his death throes as the spikes shifted, drawing him in and enveloping the raider in the beguiler's burning flesh. Worse, the corpse became the beguiler's burning flesh.
"It's healing by eating people!" Ricky shouted, aghast. "It's just going to keep going!"
"Hope the raiders get the hint, then," Phanya shuddered, before a large dump truck pulled up and tried to sideswipe them into a garbage dune. Several raiders emerged from the truck's bed, brandishing weapons and deadly intent in their direction. "So why are they still chasing us?"
"Quite possibly as revenge for us needlessly killing their own!" Tapper answered, a rare dart of irritation aimed at the back of Salazar's head.
Salazar either didn't notice or didn't care, too preoccupied by trading blows with the dump truck. From out of view the beguiler slammed down between them and started attacking both vehicles, bouncing from one to the other and building momentum with each slam. Phanya's combat senses screamed a warning and she barely managed to pull Ricky back from the wall before a long spike pierced the jitney's armor, and on the rebound the raider's dump truck crumpled. They veered and crashed into a trash dune, and the beguiler dived into the screaming occupants a split second before the carnage vanished into the rolling landscape.
"Well, that bought us a minute," Salazar dryly remarked, all the excitement gone from his voice. "But I don't want to risk leading that monster gremlin back to the Ratfinks."
"And all the raiders' guns didn't do squat," Ricky said, poking at the small hole punched into the jitney's armor.
Phanya suddenly perked up and thumped the dashboard once in her excitement. "Drive to the train canyon!"
Tapper beeped and said, "Wonderful idea, Phanya! The train's shockwave threw me a great distance, surely it will dissuade the beguiler from following us." Salazar grunted in agreement and altered course, letting the jitney idle in a secluded spot a short distance away from a giant stabilization ring. After a moment of relative peace the tension started to drain from the silence, leaving Tapper feeling oddly nervous. "Maybe we did lose it after all?"
Salazar suddenly jerked and turned in his seat so he could glare at Tapper and shout, "Goddamnit bot, what did I tell you about jinxing — "
"Look out!"
A flash of light gave the only warning, too little and too late to avoid the beguiler's meteoric arrival. It swooped in from above and crashed headlong into the windshield, but instead of bouncing off it latched onto the jitney with its spikes and rode the recoil. The largest spike fully impaled the transparent aluminum, a twisted unicorn horn located in the middle of its cranium.
Right above the large red gem. The perfect, endless refractions of purified Phasic energy, positively radiating with power. It spoke without words, reaching through their eyes to caress the soul directly and bypass all safeguards. The gem beckoned of heights above reason, of depths beyond comprehension.
The party stared into the abyss, and the abyss left them stricken with awe.
The unit designated "Tapper" completed a partial reboot ten seconds later. Only a partial reboot, as the emotional malware remained both unresponsive and immune to antivirus software. But the malware's crash had also shut down several vital programs it infected, including motor control. The unit could not move, could not act, could not do anything except process sensory inputs.
From its peripheral vision Tapper could see Proprietor Ricky and Proprietor Phanya standing next to the unit, facing forward and unresponsive to external stimuli. Directly in front of the unit sat the mercenary Salazar and octolusk Kakisi, also facing forward without moving. The passenger Makenna was not in view.
In front of the vehicle was the Phase Shift Instability creature designated "Beguiler." Variable size and mass, due to the flesh burning away to reveal bone and other quasi-organic structures beneath. It kept making animalistic noises while an oversized tongue, also on fire, licked at the windshield. Otherwise the creature was currently focused on shifting its malleable metallic growths into a central wedge shape, likely to widen the puncture it made in the vehicle. The exposed Phasic gemstone beneath the wedge was also slowly growing in luminosity with visual distortions, though any correlation remained unknown. Once it processed all visual inputs, the unit applied the data to each of Tapper's programmed directives in order of priority.
Relevant directives found:
- Serve the interests of Bowson Incorporated? and its shareholders
- Protect Proprietor Ricky and Proprietor Phanya
Current threat level to relevant directives:
- None
- Severe
The logical solution was to wait for the creature to expire from its wounds, except for its illogical capacity to replace burned flesh with new, also burning, flesh. Tapper still had a standing order to drive to the nearest antigrav train crossing, but no means to do so. The unit called for passenger Makenna's assistance, growing in volume until Proprietor Ricky started to groan. Safety protocols silenced the unit to prevent causing damage to its proprietor's hearing.
It tried and failed again to reboot the unit's motor functions, with the only positive response coming from Tapper's so-called "walking program." The ineffective program was not sanctioned by Bowson Incorporated? and a report had already been logged for breaching the terms of service, but no punitive response had yet come. The unit reexamined its logical constraints and estimated that Tapper had not been reprimanded for the breach because, technically speaking, the walking program was created by a subsidiary of Bowson Incorporated? and used to further the interests of Bowson Incorporated?.
The windshield cracked from the steady onslaught of the creature's growing metal wedge, blaring a warning in the unit's predictive algorithms. It activated the walking program and the unit's leg's spasmed, applying excessive pressure to the gas pedal and the vehicle jerked with sudden acceleration. As they traveled the unit attempted to establish accurate control over their speed, but Tapper never finalized its walking program and the legs refused to follow any precise instructions. The vehicle crested a small ridge to show the train's recessed pathway, with the blue glow of an approaching train glowing on the horizon.
Estimates said that the supersonic train would pass by within five seconds, leaving inadequate time for the unit to calculate an appropriate approach speed amid all the variables. How much kinetic force is required to dislodge the creature? How much kinetic force can Proprietor Ricky and Proprietor Phanya withstand without injury? All unknowns coalesced into one question: Is it preferable to risk using too much kinetic force, or too little?
The unit completed its calculations, waited an additional 0.256 seconds, and applied maximum acceleration to the vehicle. Their approach vector placed the vehicle at an angle and gave the impression of a head-on collision, and they were so close that the flash of light from the stability ring crashed the unit's optical sensors. An unfortunate but acceptable oversight, as true to the unit's calculations the train passed by immediately before the vehicle fell into the recession. This applied the full force of the train's shockwave onto the vehicle, lifting it off the ground in a corkscrew spin that knocked the unit from its seat. It could not see or hear anything with clarity, save for an intrusive message from the malware in the unit's vision.
[Burning Beguiler lvl 15 defeated! +42 XP for participation]
DING!
DING!
DING!
Outcome: Acceptable.