Cake Trials II: The Confectioner’s Reckoning
“In which the Crimson Dice attempt to choose a wedding cake… and nearly start a second war.”
The Ember Tankard — Morning
The morning after Azhareth’s ominous visit, after Elyra’s recovery, after Sereth’s boots were mourned and replaced by a promise…
The Dice faced their greatest challenge yet.
Not monsters.
Not legions.
Not the lattice.
Cakes.
Dozens of them.
The Ember Tankard’s longtable had been entirely overtaken by sugar, frosting, fruit, cream, pastries, and architectural impossibilities that looked like they needed arcane reinforcement to stand upright.
A very tired baker leaned against the bar, muttering something about “mad adventurers” and “five weddings’ worth of work.”
At the head of the table stood the engaged couple, looking utterly overwhelmed.
Elaris:
“…Sereth. There are twenty-four cakes.”
Sereth:
“Twenty-six. Vex added two while you were blinking.”
A beat.
Elaris turned very, very slowly.
Vex stood in the corner with a piping bag and a halo of chaotic pride.
Vex:
“Shadow and Lace, darling. Shadow and Lace. I refuse to let your wedding be under-frosted.”
The Cake Trials Begin
Garruk immediately shoved a fistful of cake into his mouth.
Borin, seeing this, smacked the barbarian’s elbow.
Crumbs flew everywhere.
Borin:
“YE BLASTED GORILLA—CHEW BEFORE YE BREATHE.”
Garruk tried, failed, and choked.
Arden calmly blessed him on the back until the chunk of cake catapulted across the room with divine velocity, smacking Kaer in the face.
Kaer didn’t react.
He just wiped frosting off his beard, tasted it, and nodded thoughtfully.
Kaer:
“…vanilla.”
The Serious Tasting (which lasted 13 seconds)
Sereth tried valiantly to keep the tasting organized.
She sliced tiny dignified portions.
Elaris used mage hand to distribute them.
It lasted fourteen seconds before:
Pancake launched himself bodily into the center of the table like a tiny cosmic trebuchet, skidding across frosting, tasting everything simultaneously with celestial dexterity.
He stopped mid-slide, covered in icing from tail to snout, holding up a single cake top like a trophy.
Pancake:
“I DECLARE THIS ONE.
—Because it tastes like victory.”
Elyra:
“Pancake… that’s fruitcake.”
Pancake:
“Yes.”
(He said it like a threat.)
The Debate Spirals Into Chaos
Arden:
“We should choose something elegant and simple.”
Vex:
“We should choose something sexy and complicated.”
Laz:
“We should choose something that breathes fire.”
Everyone stared at him.
Laz:
“…just saying.”
Garruk:
“WE SHOULD CHOOSE ALL OF THEM AND STACK THEM INTO A MEGA-CAKE.”
Kaer:
“No.”
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That was it.
Just no.
Elaris & Sereth Try to Be Adults
Elaris rubbed his temples.
Sereth sighed deeply.
Elaris:
“My love… I think we’ve lost control.”
Sereth:
“We never had it.”
They shared a helpless laugh.
Then Sereth dipped her finger into a cake and dabbed frosting on his nose.
Elaris:
“…You dare challenge a wizard?”
He flicked his fingers.
A tiny puff of sparkling confectionary magic dusted her cheek.
She narrowed her eyes.
Playfully.
War.
CIVILIZED CAKE WAR.
Frosting flew.
Pancake screeched like a comet.
Garruk dual-wielded cupcakes.
Arden shielded herself with divine pastry wards.
Vex and Laz used infernal teleportation for guerrilla cake-strikes.
Kaer simply walked through the chaos like an armored mountain while eating.
Elyra, seated and laughing so hard her recovered legs trembled, called out:
Elyra:
“This is what the Queen fears most.
Not your weapons.
THIS.”
Final Decision (Against All Odds)
Eventually, breathless, frosting-covered, and on the verge of collapsing—
Sereth spotted it.
A simple three-tier cake.
Floral.
White.
Elegant.
With silver accents and a faint lattice-motif etched so subtly only she and Elaris would notice.
She touched Elaris’s hand.
Sereth:
“This one.”
He followed her gaze.
His expression softened instantly.
Elaris:
“…This one.”
The room fell quiet.
Vex clasped her hands dramatically:
Vex:
“Finally. A choice with taste.”
Pancake, still wearing frosting like war-paint, nodded solemnly:
Pancake:
“Acceptable.”
And just like that—
The wedding cake was chosen.
Peace settled over the Tankard.
Guest List Revisited
“In which the Crimson Dice attempt to review their wedding guest list… and immediately regret it.”
The Ember Tankard — Late Afternoon
The longtable had been partially cleared of cake carnage.
Partially.
Sereth and Elaris sat together at the head, a parchment the size of a war map spread before them, names already inked in neat, elegant script.
The rest of the Dice lounged nearby, pretending they weren’t eavesdropping while obviously eavesdropping.
Sereth tapped the parchment with the end of her quill.
Sereth:
“Alright… the guest list. We already wrote a draft before the wedding planning exploded so—let’s make sure we didn’t miss anyone important.”
Elaris:
“We can handle this. We faced armies. We can face… paperwork.”
The twins snorted loudly.
Names Reviewed… Chaos Ensues
Sereth began reading:
Sereth:
“Thornmere townsfolk—everyone.”
Elaris:
“Naturally.”
Sereth:
“Lord Aurelthane and his household.”
Elaris:
“Done.”
Sereth:
“The Vale Rangers.”
Elaris:
“Including the one who keeps asking if we need map updates?”
Sereth:
“…yes.”
Kaer raised a brow.
Kaer:
“You’re inviting the ranger who flirted with Elaris that one time?”
Sereth’s gaze sharpened.
Sereth:
“It was one time. And he apologized. With bread.”
Vex whispered loudly behind her clawed hand:
Vex:
“She forgave him because the bread was good.”
Sereth threw a quill at her.
Vex caught it with infernal smugness.
Arden’s Suggestions
Arden leaned over with priestly seriousness.
Arden:
“Should we invite the monks from the Chapel of Radiant Flame?”
Elaris:
“As long as they don’t try to convert anyone.”
Arden:
“They won’t.”
(They absolutely would.)
Garruk’s Horrifying Suggestion
Garruk:
“What about my tribe?”
Silence.
Kaer:
“You mean the tribe that tried to kidnap you into a blood-rage bonding ritual?”
Garruk:
“…yes.”
Elaris:
“No.”
Sereth:
“Absolutely not.”
Vex:
“Counterproposal: invite them. Purely for entertainment.”
Everyone: NO.
Borin Brings Up a Good Point
Borin set down his tankard.
Borin:
“What aboot yer family, Sereth?”
The question softened the entire table.
Sereth’s expression shifted — grief, acceptance, and a small smile touched with warmth.
Sereth:
“I have… one name left to add.”
She wrote it quietly.
Elegantly.
A name that was more a memory than a person now.
Elaris placed his hand over hers.
Elaris:
“They’ll be there. In spirit if not in form.”
She nodded.
Elaris Reviews His Side
Sereth nudged him.
Sereth:
“What about your family?”
Elaris blinked.
Then blinked again.
Elaris:
“…you all are my family.”
Pancake wiped a fake tear dramatically.
Pancake:
“So brave.”
Elyra’s Additions
Elyra slid into a seat, legs working better now, color slowly returning to her calves.
She held the circlet gently, like a precious thing.
Elyra:
“You missed some.”
Sereth looked amused.
Sereth:
“Oh? Who did we forget?”
Elyra:
“Every kid in Thornmere I ever sparred with.
Pancake’s fan club.
Arden’s bees.
And the dog Pancake hates.”
Pancake hissed like a boiling kettle.
The Unexpected Name
Elaris:
“We should at least consider whether we’re excluding anyone who should be… diplomatically accounted for.”
A subtle weight fell over the table.
Because they all knew exactly who he meant.
Laz said it first, eyes wide:
Laz:
“…The dragon-man.”
Silence.
Sereth’s fingers tightened around her quill, not in fear — in memory.
Sereth (quiet):
“Azhareth.”
Arden’s holy symbol dimmed slightly.
Vex’s tail flicked like a restless serpent.
Elyra swallowed, her legs tensing reflexively.
Elaris exhaled.
A long, slow, thoughtful breath.
Elaris:
“He saved Elyra.”
Sereth:
“He saved me… once.”
Elyra:
“And he didn’t have to.”
Kaer folded his arms.
Kaer:
“He also threatened to incinerate all of us.”
Laz:
“That’s just his personality.”
Pancake:
“I LIKE him.”
Everyone stared at Pancake.
Pancake raised his tiny cosmic paw.
Pancake:
“What? He’s shiny.”
The Decision
Elaris picked up the quill.
The table held its breath.
Sereth watched him, quietly waiting, trusting his judgment.
He wrote two words.
Not an invitation.
Not an apology.
Just a recognition:
“For Azhareth.”
Then he folded the corner of the page so it wasn’t officially in the main list.
A maybe.
A placeholder.
A whisper of respect and suspicion intertwined.
Sereth leaned on his shoulder.
Sereth:
“…if he shows up, we’ll deal with it.”
Elaris:
“Together.”
Pancake nodded sagely.
Pancake:
“We’ll need a bigger cake.”
The list was long now.
Full.
Alive.
A celebration waiting to happen.
And for the first time in a long time — despite curses, queens, devils, and dragons — everyone at that table felt something rare.
Excited.
Safe.
Happy.
For now.
