They staggered back to their feet, shaking ash from their hair and clothes. The smell of smoke clung stubbornly, mingling with the ever-present sulfur.

  “Okay,” Harlada panted, still brushing soot from her gloves. “Not lava. No more lava. We’re done. Officially done.”

  “Penguins are out,” Leo agreed, flipping through his notes despite the edges being singed. “Seals and zombies cleared. Only one option remains.”

  Bert cracked his knuckles, grinning with the enthusiasm of someone who had learned absolutely nothing. “Spiders.”

  Harlada’s head whipped toward him. “Absolutely not.”

  Bert raised his brows. “Why not?”

  “Because spiders are worse than lava, worse than zombies, worse than everything.” She shuddered visibly. “I don’t do spiders.”

  Leo frowned, tapping his quill thoughtfully against the notebook. “Statistically speaking, arachnids pose no greater threat than other dungeon fauna. Irrational fear is unproductive.”

  “Spiders,” Bert said, cracking his knuckles.

  “NO,” Harlada shot back immediately. “Not spiders. Anything but spiders. I would rather drown again.”

  Leo flipped through his notes, ignoring her panic. “If the dungeon has presented spiders, there will be a solution. We simply need a strategy.”

  “Here’s my strategy,” Harlada said. “We don’t open the spider door.”

  “Counter-strategy,” Bert interrupted, flexing. “I go in, crush them with raw power, we get the gem, done.”

  Harlada glared at him. “You can’t just punch a spider the size of a horse.”

  “Watch me.”

  Leo cleared his throat with professorly authority. “Incorrect. Arachnids are highly vulnerable to fire. If you—” He stopped, blinking at Harlada. “Do you actually know any fire spells yet?”

  She shuffled awkwardly, sparks fizzling between her gloved fingers. “I… almost do. If the air wasn’t so damp, I could totally make fire. Probably.”

  “Then that option is out.” Leo tapped his quill against the page. “What about smoke? Or distraction tactics? Spiders have poor eyesight but rely on vibrations in the web. If we minimize disturbance—”

  Bert stomped one boot down hard, rattling the chains. “Then they’ll never see me coming.”

  The lava hissed below, almost like laughter.

  Leo pinched the bridge of his nose. “We’re doomed.”

  Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

  Still, he dutifully scribbled a battle plan: Bert distracts, Harlada provides magical support, Leo coordinates from the rear. It looked very official on paper.

  It lasted exactly five seconds once the door opened.

  ***

  From the far wall, the web-marked door pulsed. Strands etched into the stone twitched faintly, as if breathing. A low chittering noise echoed from behind it.

  Bert grinned wider. “That’s the sound of opportunity.”

  “That’s the sound of NOPE,” Harlada shot back.

  But the lava bubbled ominously beneath them, as if reminding them what happened when they stalled too long. The three of them exchanged uneasy glances.

  “Fine,” Harlada muttered at last, shoulders hunched. “But if one touches me, I swear I’ll haunt you both.”

  They stepped forward together. The web-marked door groaned open, releasing a musty stench that clung to their throats.

  ***

  The chamber was vast, its ceiling lost in shadow. Threads of silk glistened on every surface, swaying faintly in the cold draft. Webs stretched across the floor like tripwires, sticky and wet.

  And in the center hung three spiders.

  They were enormous—each the size of a horse. Glossy black eyes glinted in clusters. Hairy legs shifted with dreadful precision. Venom dripped from dagger-long fangs, hissing when it hit the stone.

  The adventurers froze.

  The spiders did not.

  One leapt instantly, slamming into Bert’s chest. He screamed as fangs sank deep, his cleaver clattering uselessly to the floor.

  Another dropped from the ceiling onto Harlada, wrapping her mid-cartwheel in coils of silk. Her sparks fizzled out as the cocoon sealed around her.

  The third lunged straight for Leo. His notes flew into the air like panicked birds, scattering across the sticky floor as poison pierced his neck.

  The last thing he wrote before the ink blurred was: Told you so.

  Pain. Darkness.

  ***

  They reappeared in their cages above the lava, chains swaying gently as if mocking them.

  They reappeared in their cages above the lava, chains swaying gently as if mocking them.

  Attempts: 57. Welcome Back.

  Smoke curled from their mouths. Their limbs twitched, still remembering phantom venom.

  Bert whimpered, clutching his chest. “That was the worst one.”

  Harlada shuddered violently, eyes wide and haunted. “Never again. Never spiders. Do you hear me? NEVER.”

  Leo cleared his throat, adjusting his notes with eerie calm, as though the poison hadn’t just liquefied his insides. “For the record, that was biologically inaccurate. Spiders are solitary hunters. Three in one lair is ecologically unsound.”

  Bert stared at him in disbelief. “Leo. We just died.”

  Leo nodded seriously. “Yes. Incorrectly.”

  The crystal screen pulsed, smug as ever.

  Achievement Unlocked: Arachnophobia. Effect: Useless.

  Harlada groaned and slammed her head against the bars. “We’re never getting out of here.”

  For a moment, silence fell, broken only by the lava’s bubbling chuckle.

  Then Bert straightened, eyes gleaming with dangerous confidence. He cracked his knuckles, scorched sleeves falling away.

  “Don’t worry,” he said. “I have a plan.”

  The lava hissed approvingly.