Marriage is strongest magic existent among the Fae. It allowed individuals to become more in the sense of multiplication, rather than more as in combining their separate talents and strengths.
Yet, sadly, for centuries only a small percentage of the population attained the total merging of mind, body, and emotions required to reach the exponential increase in magical ability and strength that is usually only attained by eclipse-level magic.
Part of this can be attributed to the far-too-prevalent mindset of one or both partners in what was usually arranged marriage: namely, that of being an unwilling participant, even going so far as to consider themselves sold into slavery and durance vile. As a result, centuries were wasted by far too many couples before they learned to not only work together, but learned to enjoy all the quirks and foibles in their partner. Essentially, to have a partnership at all.
When the Fae began moving to the enclaves and their numbers increased and their society became more concentrated in terms of magical powers and talents, there were neighbors and increasing numbers of relatives to notice the sudden burst of increased strength and skill when that indefinable something "clicked" and husband and wife found completion and enjoyment in each other.
Sadly, the realization that a bride and groom needed to not only like each other but find something attractive in each other before they were bound together for eternity took some time to catch on. Marriages were still arranged, and only gradually were the bride and groom consulted before the marriage contracts and the binding spells were formalized and implemented. Marriages were still arranged, often despite the protests of either or both parties. Added to the usual turmoil that came from resentful daughters and sons-in-law was now the pressure to give in, stop sulking, and start working on that unity of mind, body and emotions. Producing grandchildren was far down the list of expectations for marriages.
However, the slowly growing practice of letting the bride and groom participate in choosing their life partners brought about a new phenomenon known as the heart and soul kiss. Essentially, this was a spark, or more accurately, a trigger that started the bonding process of mind and heart. Sometimes the explosion or ignition point of that unity was strong enough that bystanders could feel the "click" and surge of exponentially increased magical power.
Understanding what was required, and what resulted from a heart and soul kiss took several generations after a label was attached to the phenomenon. In the interim, scores of charlatans arose, proclaiming they had a spell or potion that would initiate the merging of mind and emotions brought about by a heart-and-soul kiss. They charged quite exorbitant prices, and were quickly unmasked as fakes. Countless numbers of false sweethearts were exposed to public ridicule when romantic moments were destroyed by a kiss that would have otherwise been heavenly, but yielded no results. Too many rebellious young Fae dove into each other's arms, determined to force their parents to allow them to marry by claiming they had a heart-and-soul kiss. Too often, one sweetheart eventually confessed that they were only pursuing the other because their parents ordered it, or to get revenge on a school rival or because of peer pressure.
Over the decades, the general "rules' for a heart-and-soul kiss were recognized and codified.
First, it was always the first kiss the couple shared.
Second, there could be no emotional bond with someone else.
Third, there was always a ripple in the magical atmosphere that resulted from the kiss, so that someone sensed the change, no matter how faint or far away.
Fourth, one of the participants in the kiss could not be married, even if it was a loveless, dry type of marriage forced on the partners for political or economic reasons. Once someone married, they could kiss a dozen sweethearts every day for the rest of their lives, a heart-and-soul kiss would never happen to them.
Fifth, separating the couple and forcing them to take other partners threw a wrench into the magical atmosphere and threatened the magical and emotional health of the surrounding neighborhood. In some instances, when the partners were of particularly powerful magical bloodlines, tearing them from each other's arms resulted in damage to the entire enclave, and sent ripples of illness through the magical atmosphere to other enclaves.
As far too many poets have said, in some form or other, the heart-and-soul kiss is both terrifying and exhilarating. It is terrifying and empowering and fulfilling, in that both partners see each other clearly and fully, and are drawn together to spend the rest of their lives getting to know each other better, more deeply, more fully, with each passing day and month and year and decade.
As one poet said, remarking on how the human version of falling in love is both safer and less fulfilling: It's terrifying to contemplate seeing and being seen clearly -- whereas Humans mate and discard without thought.
Thus, the Fae finally, in many instances reluctantly, in some instances kicking and screaming and protesting, shifted into the practice of encouraging courtship and obtaining the willing participation of the bride and groom. In entirely mercenary terms, encouraging a true marriage bond of mind and emotions and magic encouraged the following generation to be even stronger and more talented than the previous generation. Some dared to call this a new kind of breeding program, but all the happily bonded married couples just ignored those detractors and their claims for the sour grapes they were.
However, despite all the studies and laws enacted to prevent forced marriages, many interfering relatives down to the present age continue to try to arrange marriages, believing they know better than the spirit of magic and what some believe is a higher plan and purpose, guided by more intelligent and compassionate beings standing outside of the river of time.
And unfortunately, many of those sour grapes fellows turned to trying to artificially generate the bond without benefit of the heart-and-soul kiss.
Thus, Need was born, and has caused terror in the hearts and minds of Fae men for centuries ever since.
There are many versions of the history of Need and the whiny, arrogant fool who created it. Only a handful of the details are agreed upon by historians and scientists.
The first being, he tampered with the bonding magic that is part of every marriage ceremony. This ancient spell has no recorded history to know when it was created and if any changes were made to it over the centuries. Academics generally agree that it was created some time after the phenomenon of the mind-body-heart merger became noticeable. The bonding magic was to in essence jump start the merger of mind and heart. The fool who created Need, whose name has been lost to the ages because he operated under more than a dozen aliases, grafted in several insidious spells to allow the male to take dominance over the female and siphon off her magic to augment his own. Though there is no documentation to back up this theory, most academics agree that the creator of Need failed quite a few spell-working classes, and put together the spells backwards. In essence, he stole self-will and autonomy from the male and gave power to the female.
Thus the quite reasonable reaction of most males when a female in Need is in the general area. They are terrified because they can feel that trigger point growing closer, when control over their minds and souls and bodies will be wrested away from them.
The second agreed-upon point in the sad tale of the creator of Need is that he was a failure when it came to courtship. He was heard once-too-often that humans were right, and men should have the right to take the mates they wanted, whether the girl agreed or not, and even whether her family agreed or not.
The father of the Fae maiden who had most recently rejected the fool's advances overheard his snarling grumbles and laughed at him. The tale reports that he in essence said, "If my daughter doesn't like you, what makes you think I would be so heartless as to force her to marry you? A thousand years is a long time to be miserable."
The fool, according to the tale, responded that she would get to love him if she took the time to know him. Reportedly, one of his friends got so disgusted with his grumbling that he dared him to come up with a spell to force the girl to take the time to get to know him. Of course, this is assuming that by this time the grumbler still had friends, because he had a reputation of his grapes being so bitterly sour that no one would invite him to their weddings. He was a downer, no matter how many intoxicants the caterers forced down his throat. And diet cherry cola hadn't been invented yet, at this point in Fae history.
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The third agreed-upon detail is that the fool hoarded his magic power so long, focusing all his research and efforts on taking apart and understanding the magic behind the phenomenon of the heart-and-soul kiss and the merger of minds and souls, that his power went sour. This also sabotaged his efforts when he wove together the complicated, multi-layered spell that eventually became known as Need.
A fourth detail, which isn't quite so readily agreed upon by historians is that he was nagged mercilessly by his aunties and uncles, all of whom couldn't get marriage partners of their own, to marry and produce children to carry on the family name. They in essence drove him nastily insane. He grew so bitter, he blamed all the girls who rejected his courtship efforts, and until he fled to some dungeon dimension to hide from vengeful Fae, he always blamed women for his problems. That also contributed to the warping of his magic, so that his spell was doomed to failure and warpage even before he started weaving it together.
There is some historical evidence that points to a spell created perhaps a century before the fool was born. This was woven together by a woman who was fed up with her nieces and granddaughters and great-granddaughters who took their time, dithering over choosing a mate. Note that this occurred after parents finally gave in to the inevitable and let their children have some say in finding their marriage partners. This domineering matriarch whipped up a spell to do the seeking and choosing for the reluctant brides, and especially to force women who preferred academic pursuits or adventuring to settle down first and raise up the next generation before enjoying their long lives. This complicated spell, which has never been documented but only suspected and hinted at in other writings, searched out the physical and magical characteristics in both male and female and then forced the two sides together. Those who resisted suffered excruciating pain at different levels, whatever was best suited to forcing them into compliance. Some theorists speculate that the fool was a great-great-great-great-grandson of this matriarch, and he found her lost journals and adapted--some say warped--her original spell for his own ends. Thus proving the principle that you never want to mess with your great-granny's spells. It just doesn't pay.
Exactly what is Need? Compare it to Pon Farr in the Star Trek universe, and Recognition in the Elfquest saga: a bonding of emotions, first, then of minds, bolstered by physical interaction. Except that in Star Trek, there is some voluntary participation at the outset. But that is neither here nor there. The comparisons are offered to give non-Fae minds, specifically Changelings who are starting their education in what it means to be Fae, some foundation on which to build their understanding. Some take comfort in comparing Recognition to Need in that Recognition has some magical elements in it, bringing the man and woman together to produce exceptional offspring. Something like a magical version of natural selection.
See entry on Halflings and Changelings elsewhere in the Ether Lexicon
Need is closer to Recognition, in that the bonding of minds and souls and irresistible physical attraction is involuntary, with the difference being that it starts out totally involuntary on the male's part. Need is anchored in the female side of the equation. A woman suffering the first waves of change in hormones and the magical equivalent of puberty is wise to conduct some logical, rational research to identify and locate the best possible mate and partner for the next dozen centuries of life. Considerations such as social standing, maturity of mind, a good sense of humor, good hygiene and other factors that will ensure fewer speedbumps when it comes to setting up housekeeping and raising children together. Depending on how long it takes for the woman to realize what is happening to her, this logical, academic work needs to be conducted quickly and efficiently. Then, she is wise to consult family and peers for their input, specifically people who have seen her interact with those marriage candidates and can spot any problems that the woman, whose thinking is starting to be muddled by the onset of Fae puberty, might have missed. Especially if she delayed her research and is starting to panic.
Then, once the possible candidates have been weeded down to the top three (five is a more reasonable number, to avoid resentment and disappointment if the prime candidates have already been targeted by other women in Need), the woman sets out to cross paths with the chosen mate and create as many opportunities as possible for the subliminal lures of Need, hormonal, pheremonal and magical, to entangle the prey--err, prospective groom-- and reel him in.
Side note: A wise woman will choose her optimum mate decades before Need strikes, and maneuver their interactions to the point that the man believes that he pursued her. They will marry in the grace period between physical maturity and when Need strikes, and establish that vital emotional, mental, and physical bond so that Need is considered a welcome bonus in their marital bond. A boost to get over the proverbial third-decade slump. A growing number of men are coming to agree that this is the wisest, kindest tactic for all concerned, and parents who truly care about their children's future happiness and fulfillment in marital bliss will encourage their offspring to find their perfect match decades in advance of Need, to avoid the woman's panicked phase and the man's terror in realizing that a woman who was simply a good friend a few weeks before is now starting to look like a female preying mantis. Plus there is the relief in knowing that once a man has entered into the marital bond, he is safe from the lures and traps of Need, even if he is the only male within 100 miles, and is surrounded by fifty women all panicking and sweating and hallucinating in the final stages of Need. Something like swimming among sharks in a titanium alloy shark cage reinforced with 20,000 volt prods on harpoons.
Philosophers and counselors and psychologists through the centuries have speculated on why men still panic when they reach the age where the women in their age group are nearing Need. The history of the Fae race, and the experience of their own parents prove that Need is one of the greatest benefits of having magical heritage. Human poets and philosophers have rhapsodized about the bliss of total unity of mind and heart and soul, for those lucky few who have made the effort and sacrificed and attained that state. What the Fae experience through Need outshines that brief human experience in the way that a lightning bug is eclipsed by a sun ready to go nova. A man fully entangled in the tentacles of Need tends to laugh at his panic of just days before, and quite often will hold himself up for public ridicule, once he realizes how much suffering he and his beloved could have avoided if he had simply stopped running and submitted to the inevitable and started their lifetime together days, months, even years sooner. Yes, years. Some Fae men have fled the Fae realms entirely and gone to live among humans, in the most remote locations possible where they--often wrongly--believe that the hunting woman is unable or unwilling to go to find them.
Side Note: there is some evidence that those with a small amount of Fae blood experience a bonding something like Need, but on a much lower wattage. This can sometimes be a benefit, especially when the existence of that magic in their DNA makes them susceptible to inherited curses or semi-magical legacies. See the history of the family line that started with a blustery, self-righteous knight, Sir Mortimer. The faint existence of Fae blood in their family line made him susceptible to a curse laid on him by a Fae woman when he mistakenly believed she was kidnapping his sister, Madeline, and attacked her. In point of fact, Feathedora was rescuing Matilda from a child molester, and recruiting her to become a Changeling and join the Fae. The curse Feathedora put on Mortimer and his offspring, if some woman was unlucky enough to be forced to marry him, could only be broken if a woman was willing to risk suffering through eternity with him, thereby saving him with her love. This required some reformation on the part of Mortimer and his offspring. Several generations of offspring did escape the fate of what came to be called the Ghostly Roundup, but the curse continued until an exterminator named Lance encountered a Fae women who was suffering some magical hormonal problems of her own, and they were both willing to take the biggest risk of all to save each other.
Side note to the side note on Sir Mortimer and his offspring: Many Fae, mostly females, fear bonding with a human in any capacity because the merger of minds could be one-way. In essence, the woman is stuck, bonded to the man until one of them dies, but because he does not feel the bond, or is too densely oblivious to realize what is happening, he is essentially free to wander. The physical aspect of the bond deepens this for the woman, making it even more of a trap. However, the good news is that willingness to make the effort, to take the plunge, often provides a "cure" for both parties, and raises their magical quotient much higher than either of them could attain, combined. In some instances, when a Fae male chose a human wife, responding to a deep attraction of mind and soul, they discovered after some time that she had hitherto unacknowledged magic in her bloodlines. While they did not reach the total bonding that could have resulted from Need, if she had had more magic in her DNA, their unity keep her Fae husband much more faithful and responsible than either of them anticipated.
Side note: The effort to escape being trapped by Need, already proven to be a total misunderstanding of the phenomenon, has driven countless Fae men through the ages to search Earth for wives among Halflings, the not-quite-accurate label for those who have some Fae blood in their ancestry. A human can be only one-thirty-second Fae, and still have great magical potential, and can become a Changeling. Essentially, go through a process to "turn on" their Fae DNA and make it dominant. One great attraction in finding a Changeling bride is that Changeling women never suffer Need.
Side Note: Some Fae women are as utterly averse to being "trapped" by their Need, which can happen if they don't do enough preparation to secure and identify the best suited mate. While yes, bliss is practically guaranteed, once both parties settle down and get to know each other, a distressingly growing number of Fae women don't want to give in to the dictates of Need. They believe they don't want to marry at all. Some have found escape by settling in the Human realms and surrounding themselves with Humans, muffling their magic resonances, to the point that wandering Fae don't even know they are there. And more importantly, when Need strikes, there are no unmated Fae males nearby to be trapped and to trap them. Yes, that has happened: a Fae male with no success in finding a willing bride will seek out women suffering from Need and throw themselves in her path, in the hopes that she will be blinded by desperation and hormonal overload and bond herself to him before she realizes what a ghastly mistake she is making. The irony in such a tactic is that the worst reprobate usually ends up being reformed by his bride and doesn't even realize it until years later, when he wakes up from the "happy haze" as many refer to the first decade or two of marriage, and realizes what an utter selfish, unwashed scoundrel he was. But getting back to the point: some Fae women have found sanctuary in hiding among Humans until Need "burns out" so to speak. Although that has sometimes taken as long as twenty years, in human reckoning. Still, that isn't as much of a sacrifice as some might think, since the time dilation and variations between the Human realms and the Fae realms can sometimes translate to twenty years on Earth equaling only a few months or years in the Fae realms.
