She was in the valley with a garden filled with hemlock. He was kissing her forehead and promising nothing. He was not promising her greatness because he couldn’t trick her. He couldn’t lie to her. That man could say nothing to her, other than the truth. Even if it hurts.

  ***

  What could she say to him? Why was she there? What was the reason to walk the entire path just to take him out? Wasitt for the people to remember the gods, just like Hermes wanted? No, it wasn’t that, and she wouldn’t say it out loud. Not now. Because she gave up on her own narrative centuries ago. She stopped being a part of the story. And it was finally time for her to appear again.

  LYSSANDRA

  My shoes finally gave up as I was stumbling across the wet grass. As I got them out, I kept walking barefoot, with the strange cold scent of grease and rotten flesh surrounding the path of that strange temple. I kept walking to the road as I could see even closer that between the door, there were two full skeletons, carved inside the bone walls, like caryatids, trying to welcome me in. As I was getting inside, even the floor was made of hands and bones of the back. To enter, I could see one more statue of a woman with a green dress, her nose bridge and eye were broken, as the entirety of the statue was once again, one more skeleton. And far at the end of the room, there was a throne, built from the cold remaining brackets and spine with a man trying to sleep at the feet of his throne.

  His body was deformed, tired as the shade of citrine had slowly faded away. His long fire hair had turned dark like night and his once deer characteristics had turned to a fox.

  He was dressed in a dark mourning cloak, just like the last time I saw him.

  ‘’I do not want to kill you again’’His deep voice muttered. His broken, collapsed voice.

  My gaze shifted around once again to the temple. How long has he done that? How many versions of me have he killed?

  And my lips parted, letting out the name. I did not come for a god.

  ‘’Paris?’’ I asked and his gaze turned to me. His deep purple tired eyes as his fox ears frowned once again. He tried to walk into all fours with his paws but he slowly stood up on his very own two legs.

  ‘’You are’’His lips quivered. ‘’You are not real, are you? One illusion again,’’His eyes narrowed with pain.

  I remained silent as I kept watching him trying to look away.

  ‘’Because, if you were real, you would have run.’’He faced the statues of bones all around us. ‘’You would be scared.’’

  His eyes were studying every part of me as I was doing the same.

  ''You look tired'' He hummed.

  I was tired. How many centuries had passed? How many lives have I lived?

  ''You look lighter''I spoke out, looking at his thin frame with his bones being all so visible.

  ''But your hair has grown''He let out a mutter.

  The last time he had touched my curls, they were cut off by force. I was so miserable back then. And so was he when he had noticed it.

  ''Yours too, but what happened to your curls?'' I asked. His true form had curly firepit hair but the texture he had now on his scalp was flat, greasy, and dark like coal.

  ‘’Let’s go out Paris’’I told him with a command.

  And he let out a harsh laugh. ‘’Go away, woman.’’

  ‘’That’s not my name, and you know it’’’I let out a painful smile.

  Contain yourself. Just get him out.

  ‘’Why? Why should I get out? I am fine here.’’

  No, you are not.

  ‘’I will forget completely soon enough. Everyone will. Why should I see it with my own eyes, people that I knew getting vanished?’’

  I moved closer to him, trying to see his trembling claws.

  ‘’And you, ‘’He growled and looked at me, and caressed my skin with his sharp claws around my throat. ‘’You were supposed to be with him. He could make you-’’

  ‘’He helped me get here’’I admitted. ‘’And we both know that you do not need to lie.’’

  He wouldn’t make me happy. I could not be happy with him. And he wouldn’t be with me.

  And his expression got more furious as he could now stand even taller than before. Just the first time I saw him.

  ‘’Go away, woman.’’

  ‘’No,’ ’I spoke out.

  ‘’Can’t you see? What have I done? What can I do for you now? What things did I do over centuries, even before I met you’’

  His tears were shedding gold.

  ‘’I deserve to live like this. I deserve to-’’His voice broke out. ‘’You cannot be near me.’’

  Be near you?

  My control broke, and I slapped him hard to the face, shocked.

  ‘’Paris’’My voice trembled, so did my body.

  But this time, he did not respond. He just crawled back to his throne and wept.

  So, I walked out and heard Tartarus' voice.

  GIVING UP?

  No. I don’t give up. Not after everything.

  ‘’How does time pass here?’’ I asked.

  IT’S DIFFICULT TO SAY BUT IF I COULD COUNT…ONE YEAR HERE IS ONE DAY FOR YOUR MORTAL WORLD.

  One day is one year. How long was he making that temple? How long was he actually suffering? Maybe I was the lucky one in this world.

  ‘’Give me one year here’’I said to the god. ''If I don’t get him out, you are free to do whatever you want to me.''

  And so, I began looking at the valley, noticing that crops were growing around. Red crimson apples were right in front of me. Maybe I wasn’t hungry anymore, nor was he, but I could bring him something.

  Returning to the temple with a sack full of them, I offered one to Paris.

  He stood there, blinking, confused as he kept staring at me.

  So, I replied with a smile.

  Still, facing me, but not taking action. So, I pouted. ‘’If you don’t want it, then I will eat it’’I said, and was about to take a bite. But Paris grasped it hard from my fingers and took one bite instantly. Like a savage animal, he began devouring it.

  ‘’Thank..’’ He muttered at first, but he tried to look in a different direction.

  The night was falling slowly, and I was facing the darkness that was awaiting us. The stars were the same as the world outside, bright and beautiful. I remembered the few times he was visiting me at night, the valley he had once made for me, and the night we spent together.

  And now, he was crawling with an empty expression out of his cage and sitting on the pillars with me. We stood in silence for hours, watching the stars. Or, that’s what I want to say to myself. In truth, we were both sharing secret glances with each other.

  The next day, I began tidying up the temple, watching the bones that had no maggots or any other insects crawling all around. I wondered how they could stay all untouched even with the time passing so slowly. Maybe that was a part of his punishment. To see the skulls of mine for eternity.

  And he was looking at me, waiting for me to react to those images.

  I couldn’t do it, though. As much as I wanted to scream, to cry, to throw up…I couldn’t react.

  ‘’Why are you cleaning?’’He finally asked me, and I looked at the piles of dust.

  ‘’Shouldn’t I? It’s your home for so long, you need to take care of it.’’

  He scoffed and tried to walk far from me. But then, he asked me about the apples that I brought him.

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  ‘’Can you bring me more?’’

  I replied with a smirk. ‘’Only if you come with me.’’

  And so, he did come, we walked outside the valley, with the sun falling right in his eyes, and he squeezed them tight. How long has it been since he walked outside? We found a few old baskets and took out the apples from the tree, but Paris pointed out the other trees from a nearby river.

  ‘’You like…figs correct?’’

  As we were trying to get past the river, I noticed how deep it actually was and how difficult it would be for me to get past it without moving through the endless water. And my gaze turned to the tall tree in Paris.

  ‘’This is so humiliating’’He grunted as I was being carried with my legs wrapped around his head.

  ‘’You wanted it, not me’’I could only smile. I could only cheer him up.

  We finally found the fig tree, and I began feasting on them as Paris was silently watching me.

  ‘’It’s strange’’He muttered and sat on one of the trees. ‘’So many years passed, and you still spill your food on your clothes.’’

  I blinked and saw the mess I made from the juices of the fruit and how sticky my fingers had been.

  My face turned red, and I tried to wipe them out, but I had made a mess of myself.

  ‘’I have…’’His voice shook as I could see a restrained smile.’’Clothes back to the temple.’’

  I could remember the green dress that I was wearing in the first years of my life. I could now see it in full form once again and how comfortable it was around my skin. I took out the bandages that I once wore around my chest, and I heard behind one of the bone doors, Paris asking me.

  ‘’I thought that you were a man at first. Why were you…’’

  ‘’I travelled a lot’’I admitted. ‘’It was safer that-’’

  Paris now turned furious. ‘’Travelled?’’He walked inside the room, all tall and furious, as his hands were still shaking. ‘’Why?’’

  Right. I had to explain to him. And I told him everything. What had happened in the past centuries, the past thousand years. The pain in my throat was burning my flesh, just by telling everything outloud. I didn’t want him to find out what was happening.

  And with that, Paris' mouth dropped wide open. ‘’I am gonna kill him’’He growled.

  And I couldn’t help but smile from that thought. He was slowly getting better.

  ‘’I wanted to get to you so fast’’I explained. ‘’I swear, I just didn’t’’My hands tried to reach his face, wanting to cup him, but instead, he backed away from me.’’Goodnight, woman.’’

  Time were passing slowly, with Paris getting even better. He is now helping me clean up as I get used to the sight of the bones. I even asked him why he made the temple. And he replied.

  ‘’Before you came, when the rest of the versions of you were punishing me, I could see you in a temple. People worship you, admire you, and love you. And I was the one who was ripping everything out of it. Your body, your soul, your existence…I couldn’t make you get forgotten.’’ He tried very hard not to cry.

  ‘’It was my fault that’’

  ‘’Hey’’I tried to reach into his hand, but he backed away.

  I replied with a narrow smile. ‘’Your sister is alive if you want to ask me.’’

  And he gasped for breath, his eyes filled with a sudden hope.

  ‘’I met her again with the rest of your siblings three decades back. They were all alright. But they still miss you’’

  And he narrowed. ‘’Doesn’t matter. They will all be forgotten sooner or later.’’

  ‘’You don’t know-’’

  ‘’I am the god of foresight’’He reminded me. ‘’You know that too, you saw what happens.’’

  My face tightened from those words. Correct. Sooner or later, everyone will vanish.

  Was this the reason have given up? Because he knew there was no hope to look out to? How many gods had predicted to vanish? How many times did he try to prevent people from getting harmed? I could see myself in him for a while. When I lost my way, I wanted everything to stop. Wanted to get inside whole and suffocate. But we couldn't do it. None of us could. So, he was sulking his way for an eternity inside his temple.

  ''You won't even try to save Artemis?''I asked him. ''Leto?''

  And those words made Paris walk back to his throne. At least, he wasn't crawling now, with his black hair turning more red.

  Why wasn’t he touching me? Why was he freezing when I was trying to get so close to him? Why were his hands trembling?

  The deadline was coming up. Two days. Two more days. We have once again become close, but as I was trying to lure him in, he was backing away.

  ‘’I have a kid, you know’’I told him while I was sitting below a fig tree, and he was lying next to me. He had a disappointed look now. ‘’Oh, congrat-’’

  ‘’Don’t worry, he isn’t actually mine. I raised him for a while. And he is waiting for me to come back’’

  But if you won’t come with me, I cannot see him.

  ‘’How is he?’’

  ‘’He is kind, annoyingly naive, his way of stealing is so immature, but he knows about medicine.’’

  Paris hummed. ‘’Sounds like someone else that I know’’He leaned closer to me, and I could smell the hyacinths coming from his hair.

  ‘’Yes, it’s strange though because…’’I tried to look closer to him.’’He has your eyes.’’

  He blinked, confused, and tried to look away.

  ‘’I would like you to meet him.’’I tried to rule him back in. But Paris shook his head.

  ‘’I cannot get out.’’

  ‘’Yes, you can.’’My hands tried to reach once again.

  ‘’Paris, I can get you-’’

  ‘’Why are you calling me out with that name?’’He asked.

  My eyes flinched from that question. Why was I calling him like that?

  The day passed, and one more day remained.

  Finally, scared and pissed, I walked back to the throne room.

  ‘’Coward’’I shouted back at him, and he looked at me, confused.

  ‘’Coward?’’

  ‘’Yes, coward. Afraid to face the consequences of your actions once again. Just like you were afraid of facing me.’’

  His posture finally got fixed with the sunlight rising from his punishment, making his skin reflect in perfection, the light that was kissing him softly.

  ‘’I am not a coward, woman.’’

  ‘’Say my name then.’’

  His chin moved up with all of his pride.

  ‘’Lys-’’

  ‘’No,’’ I told him and walked closer to him. ‘’Say the name you were calling me, the name that you were saying when you were in love with me.’’

  Paris replied with a harsh laugh. A painful laugh. ‘’You think that I loved you? Do you know how mere it sounds? Do you know how many had fallen right behind you for me? You think you are special? ‘’

  He was trying to hurt me. But I wouldn’t back down. Not even when his sharp nails were caressing my skin, scratching slowly, with the red blood dripping to the floor. I wouldn't back out.

  Because he cannot live in despair. The god of life cannot live in a darkness, afraid of his own shadow. Because that is not life. None can live like this. None can live with anger and site inside their heart.

  That's not life.

  ‘’Do you know how many people have died for me? For my love? Do you think that you can be-’’

  ‘’I cannot die in Paris'’I shouted at him. ‘’I cannot. die, I tried to. And I cannot’’

  I am finally shedding my face. And his face got hurt. How many times did I poison myself, rip my own flesh? Stab myself to the heart, letting enemies attack me. How many times did I fall from cliffs, wishing I would be gone?

  ‘’But even if there was a chance to grow, to be an old lady one day, I know I wouldn’t regret meeting you.’’

  Paris replied with a snarl.

  ‘’I am a monster, I have’’He tried to show me the temple. Each version of me is carved to make a temple. The bones, glued together, the skulls decorating each part of it.

  ‘’If you are a monster, then so am I’’I touched my chest, in the place where my supposed heart was. ‘’I deserve to be punished too. I know it’’

  A few hours left until my fate. Screw fate, screw scales and destiny. I am not their toy or their example.

  ‘’But that doesn’t mean you have to stop living. Not when people still love you.’’

  Say it, foolish woman, say it. SPEAK YOUR TRUTH.

  ‘’You have to understand, I do not deserve you.’’

  And I finally let a harsh slap once again on Paris’ cheek and grabbed him by his mourning cloak.

  ‘’Paris, I have tricked, deceived, killed, and travelled Tartarus for you. Do not tell me what I deserve or not because I…’’My lips trembled as I was about to let those words out.

  ‘’Why are you calling me that name? I am a god, I have power-’’

  ‘’You are a god Apollo’’I finally spoke out. ‘’A god that I hated, I despised, I envied. But when I met you, you were a mortal with the name Paris. When you were kneeling to me, telling me that you would become mortal for me, you were Paris’’

  His face twitched, and he still tried to back away. No, that was not life. We couldn’t live in a prison. Not when there is so much more in immortality

  ‘’Why are you risking your life for-’’

  ‘’I love you’’I screamed out loud, letting out all of my pride. ‘’I do not care about the end of the world, or how many gods will die, and if I die by your hands, I will never stop loving you. ’’

  And his face began to shed tears. Real tears. No ichor, or red blood. Real, mortal tears.

  ‘’And I know that you love me too. I know that you want to live and love with me’’

  A few minutes. A few seconds.

  None of us could live like we did before. We cannot survive. Not like humans or gods. Because this is not the way of the world for dear old life.

  His face was shattering as he was about to speak, to let out the honest truth.

  ‘’I would be punished over and over for you to be happy’’He admitted. ‘’Because my love can’t reach the prayers of the fates-’’

  And with that, his arms finally embarrassed me. His form changed to a short, thinner one, with bronze, deep skin, his fiery hair turning into golden curls.

  ‘’I love you, my Oracle.’’ He wept on my shoulders. And Paris’ voice escaped from those words. Both of our prides were shattered in that moment, making each thread that was holding us apart vanish.

  ‘’Let’s go back home’’I said.

  And he nodded. ‘’Yes,’’

  I SHALL LET YOU PASS THEN.