LYSSANDRA

  We rested on the bed as the god kept one jar for him and the other for me. He kept talking about how fast everything changed. There was a new war happening now between the Greeks and Persians, and it seemed that it would shake the nation once again.

  ‘’Will the gods participate?’’I asked and took one sip from the sweet wine while tired Hermes was swallowingnonstopp. That gave me the thought that the jar couldn’t stop having wine inside it. Powerful thing Dionysus could make. It could make millions of coins from it.

  ‘’No’’He finally gasped and noticed that there was red liquid painted on his light green tunic.

  ‘’It was new’’He mumbled. ‘’But no, we will not be a part of it, we already tried it once, you know how it ended. Besides’’He let out a shrug. ‘’Mortals now seem to worship their own kind rather than us.’’

  ‘’What do you mean by that?’’ I asked, curious, and waited for the second to get drunk.

  ‘’They are getting clever,’’He pointed at his head.’’They are asking themselves questions of existence, of their humanity.’’A long pause. ‘’There was a man who started making triangles so that the two smallest sides were equal to the longer ones. ‘’

  ‘’How could that happen?’’I let out a chuckle.

  ‘’I have no idea, I stared at him explaining it for hours’’He rested his body fully on the bed.

  ‘’How so?’’I asked again.

  He let out a hum.

  ‘’You were staring at him for hours. I never expected you to be interested in brains.’’

  Hermes replied with a scoff. ‘’I chose you because of your brains, don’t forget it.’’

  ‘’I thought that you did for my wrath.’’

  His words were cut. Was he trying to lie?

  ‘’The point is’’He grunted and began to drink again. ‘’They do not seem to need us anymore. No raiding, no sacrifices, no worship…’’

  Drinking once again, it was, but the man seemed to have one more idea.

  ‘’Let’s play a game.’’ He jumped all happy.

  ‘’I will probably lose at backgammon’’ I arched my brow.

  ‘’No, it’s more enticing’’ He showed the wine, and both of the jars disappeared. In their place, there were two golden jars with the familiar scent of figs. My face twitched.

  We both ask each other a question or a task. If you don’t do it. You drink’’

  What was this pig thinking? Nectar was far stronger than it should have been for me. He can drink for an entire kingdom, and he would still be intact.

  But then again, it did not sound bad if I could try my liquor with all of my strength. He could tell me things that I want.

  ‘’How should I know that it’s not a trick?’’ I asked the go,d and he scoffed.

  ‘’What’s so fun if I can ask you all the questions. But I shall give you the gift to ask first.’’

  So it began. I tried to think of the right question, but what could it possibly be?

  I couldn’t ask anything serious cause he would stop it immediately. I had to think, think, think.

  ‘’I have heard myths that you raised Dionysus. Is that true?’’

  Hermes nodded. ‘’For a while. This little bastard was making my life a mess.’’

  Are you the one to talk to?

  ‘’But you are also a bast-’’

  Hermes narrowed. ‘’We are all bastards, countless children of our king, but at least we got better chances than others,’’ He hummed.

  ‘’I mean that you are family, and he seemed to actually like you, how can you talk-’’

  ‘’It’s my turn’’He informed me, and I stood still. There was a bead of sweat falling from my nape slowly.

  ‘’Take those things from your hair.’’

  I stood there frozen. That was it?

  ‘’May I ask why?’’ I tilted my head to my left shoulder.

  ‘’If I answer, you will lose your turn.’’

  My shoulders shrugged, and I was about to get the pearls and petals out. But I couldn’t. I did not want to get them from my locks. They were placed with such care and detail on my scalp, and it was one of the few times that I had ever felt this beautiful.

  So, I took a sip. The drink was thick, strong, and I could feel my body lighter. My mind was rushing into a million thoughts, and I wished that it could stop. I bit my tongue once again. I could see Hermes how much he was enjoying the sight of me defying him.

  I took a deep breath and thought of the next question or task.

  What could make him tick?

  ‘’Do you like dancing?’’

  Hermes looked at me like an idiot. My mind was already tired from the one single sip, and I couldn’t feel my right strength.

  ‘’I remember that you asked me for a dance multiple times. But I haven’t seen you dancing before. So-’’

  That question actually made him drink hard and lie in bed. How could he not answer a simple question like this? Or was it a trick? He simply did not answer, so I would have the illusion that he must be hiding something.

  ‘’Why didn’t you take the petals and pearls?’’His voice was rough. Surprisingly, he also cannot handle his liquor.

  ‘’Ahrodite gave them to me, I do not want to lose something this beautiful fast. Or anger her.’’

  There was an irritating frown upon his lips. Didn’t he like her?

  My turn.

  ‘’Don’t you like Aphrodite?’’

  The god chuckled. ‘’She is the most beautiful goddess in the world. There were centuries before you that me and her were actually close’’

  My brow arched. What I saw wasn’t a beautiful goddess but a woman who barely escaped from a fight. Her hair, body, and wings are torn apart. And the thought of this goddess and him being really close made my skin crawl.

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  ‘’I simply do not approve of the way she is meddling with my things.’’ He moved his head even closer to me.

  So, I was an object for him. Of course I was, why was I acting all surprised? But Aphrodite did say something about a wager. Who was the other contestant? Was it him? And about what?

  No matter the questions, because Hermes now made with his necklace a white bright white candle to appear.

  ‘’Put your hand to the flame.’’

  What?

  What was this about once again? Did he want me to see if I could feel anything? Because I felt nothing. It was burning my flesh slowly, and I could smell it getting roasted. However, I felt no pain. Not when it was healing so fast.

  ‘’You would burn your beautiful fingers but not take those petals from your hair.’’

  ‘’Drink’’I said as my next task, as I was hiding my rage. ‘’For one minute drink.’’

  No matter what he would choose, he would get drunk. One minute or less, he would lose his mind. There was an expression of amusement deep in his annoying face. So, he started drinking. For a whole minute.

  ‘’Why hemlock?’’ He asked. ‘’What makes you interested in that plant so much that you made it grow in my garden?’’

  I had no answer to that. Because I did not know. I could remember that I was back in a forest. Someone was whispering so close to me in a valley filled with those white flowers. He told me that I would have them for eternity. But I didn’t know who that man was.

  So, drinking it was.

  Hermes frowned, disappointed. ‘’It gets a bit boring when you are so predictable.’’He said all dizzy and drunk and rested fully on my bed, and his jar fell.

  I could feel my body also getting weaker, but I tried to stand up and take the jar from the floor. Only to find himself holding with his mouth the blood of Typhon.

  You are the best boy.

  I snatched the blood slowly and dipped it into the jar of the Nectar, thinking that the next task would hurt him.

  ‘’Here you….’’I spoke as I stood up, and then I found how peaceful he looked while sleeping. Like a baby, waiting for the new day to arrive, and the first thing to see in front of him will be his momma.

  His mother passed. Got forgotten, and he will probably never see her again. But that cannot be the case. Because gods are getting forgotten. No sacrifice, no worship. Where are the souls that he is supposed to guide to the underworld now? Being surrounded by souls that are supposed to know him, to know that by seeing his appearance, is that the end is coming. I suppose that he could be happy that he is not surrounded by so much death, but then again, there was the thought of him dying.

  I do not want to die.

  And he was now sleeping all so vulnerable in front of me. With his necklace at reach. My fingers moved slowly to his cold chest. Take it. Take it and get out of here. And you will be free. But what if that wasn’t the case? What if he was still asleep? So, my fingers moved higher to the fabric that was covering his eyes, and I pulled it out.

  His eyes were open. And the image that I saw was unexpected. Inside his eyes, there were hundreds of emerald irises, moving in each direction. His skin around his eyes was also something horrific, as it was filled with scars.

  It should have scared me. But instead of trembling with fear, I was staring calmly and with interest.

  ‘’When I was born in a cave, my mother was not alone. Father was there. But he tried to rip my eyes out just from the sight that I looked so monstrous.’’

  There was pain inside his voice. Inside his cruel words that made my throat tighten. What kind of Father could have done something like that to his own child?

  And Hermes did notice my expressions. His eyes narrowed, and he grabbed my forearm tightly.

  ‘’I do not need your pity, foolish woman’’He rasped. ‘’Did you forget who I am? How much power do I have?’’

  How much work he had to put into proving to his father that he was not a monster. And now, everyone still thinks that he is.

  ‘’How many people like you have I hurt? Shall I remind you what I am?’’

  His wings spread open with eyes popping out from them, while right at his skin, there were more eyes crawling out of it like worms. Was this the price of slaying Argos, I wondered.

  ‘’Tell me, dear Lyssandra, what was your plan here?’’He rasped and squeezed my hand even more.

  There was that force again, pressuring my entire body to say anything. But no, I wouldn’t let him win.

  ‘’I am monstrous, am I not?’’He moved my hand to his face. ‘’If you have to scream, just do it’’There was a hissing snake.

  There were his true colors. A pathetic man, afraid of everyone’s words. That he is pushing everyone away so he cannot face the consequences of his actions. He would rather hurt everyone and be alone.

  I do not want to be alone.

  But rather get hurt.

  You are the most beautiful woman in the world.

  ‘’I prefer it like this’’I said, smiling, and I caressed his sharp cheekbones. ‘’Now, I will know that you are actually facing me.’’

  And all of his irises were staring at me.

  ‘’He said that thing to’’He mumbled.

  Who is he?

  And I slowly realized how close we both were to each other. A few breaths away from our lips to meet. I hated it. I hated that strange force that was pulling me closer. Making me forget the reason that I am actually there. What I was actually trying to do. His crocus scent was strong, trying to make me forget everything.

  ‘’You are drunk’’I said and showed him his jar. ‘’I prefer you to drink rather than do something that we will both regret.’’

  ‘’Will we?’’He whispered to me and took the jar and was about to drink it.

  Drink it, drink…

  He stopped and offered it to me.

  ‘’Drink it, Lyssandra.’’

  The command was clearer now and stronger. I could not stop it. I could not stop myself from taking the jar and pressing it to my lips.

  There was that strange taste of death. My tongue is numb, my teeth are rotting. But no, it was one sip. One sip and I had to hold everything inside me.

  Swallow the poison. You have tasted worse.

  ‘’Nectar is too strong for me’’I said, smiling, and I began to play dumb. I rested myself on his chest, and my fingers traced to his face and then to his necklace.

  ‘’What can this do?’’I mumbled.

  There was a sudden relief in his eyes. That he understood that I wasn’t trying to do anything else crazy to him. Finally, he lowered his guard.

  ‘’It can help me move more easily between realms’’He explained and caressed my shoulders.

  ‘’Can I have it?’’I asked all so innocent and tried to touchit. But he snatched it away.

  ‘’No, dear, you cannot have it on me.’’He laughed, all drunk. ‘’I don’t trust your dizzy mind.’’

  ‘’But you trust Eris’’I mumbled without any will.

  And his eyes snapped. ‘’What?’’

  Shit.

  I took a deep breath and stood up from his chest.

  ‘’I know that you made a deal with Eris. I don’t know what, but I can see her in my sleep.’’

  And Hermes wings, his eyes vanished. And I heard him whisper with my mind now being all mushed up.

  ‘’Not again.’’

  ‘’Hermes, tell me what…’’

  ‘’Forget it Lyssandra’’He whispered close to me.

  I blinked, confused. But I remained silent.

  ‘’Forget about Eris, forget about him. Forget your life before me.’’

  I remained silent, and we both did not speak. He left soon after, and I began throwing up.

  Not from the poison that was making my body ache with thousands of swords, no.

  But because he was forcing me. Forcing me to forget something.

  How long has this going on? What more have I forgotten? How long was it inside this place?

  I caressed my body tightly, feeling everything going downhill. How foolish I was! How dare he succeed in tricking me? How stupid I was that for a moment I thought this god could be someone that I could understand, someone kind, someone…

  The love of the gods was cruel. I know that now.

  But something changed. His command did not work that time. I walked to the closest mirror, and I saw it. The golden scar that I had became smaller.

  The poison made it smaller.

  If I could drink more of it….

  No, no, I would die. But that was better than the thought from before. I now know what I have to do to get that necklace.

  However, I had to find more answers for everything.