"For the first consultation and treatment, one gold coin," Su Lan Yi named a price significantly lower than what the Divine Healing Sect's shops would charge for a basic headache powder, and much higher than what she charged the people she liked. "Follow-up treatments will be necessary, of course. Your condition didn't develop overnight and won't be cured that way either. Medicine is not magic, despite what some practitioners might claim."
As Wei Chenglin placed a gold coin on the table, Su Lan Yi discreetly added a pinch of special powder to the medicinal packet—one that would, in addition to treating his meridian issues, cause his ears to emit a faint whistling sound whenever he tried to be 'romantic' with Bai Lianhua- or if he ran around and his heartbeats sped up.
Nothing harmful, really, just... inconvenient. A little villainous touch for the man who had tried to have Su Ruolan executed.
[PETTY REVENGE MODIFICATION DETECTED! BONUS VILLAIN POINTS FOR CREATIVE NON-LETHAL PAYBACK. THIS IS THE ALMOST THE CONTENT I SIGNED UP FOR! NEXT TIME, WE'LL KILL HIM, THOUGH.]
"You speak with unusual confidence for someone so new to Bai City," Wei Chenglin observed, his flash of surprise at the reasonable price quickly masked. "Almost as if you've been practicing for centuries rather than days."
"Knowledge isn't measured in time spent in one location, is it?" Su Lan Yi countered, pretending not to notice his probing while mentally calculating how many days until his ears would start whistling. "There is more value in understanding gained through experience. Some cultivators spend decades accomplishing what others achieve in years, while others..." she let the implication hang, "rush ahead seeking shortcuts, only to find themselves in my consultation room after dismissing 'unauthorised' medicine vendors."
Something in her voice or manner must have resonated with Wei Chenglin, because his expression shifted subtly—the arrogance giving way momentarily to something like genuine respect, or perhaps simply the recognition of someone who couldn't be easily dismissed. Or he could be constipated. Couldn’t tell just by looking at his generic protagonist face.
"Your establishment... is a surprise," Wei Chenglin admitted after a while, with what appeared to be genuine sincerity.
"Few things worth discovering are exactly what we expect them to be," Su Lan Yi replied, escorting him back to the main shop area with the professional courtesy of a physician who had just treated a minor ailment rather than potentially saved his cultivation career—and added a teeny tiny side effect. "The world would be terribly boring otherwise, don't you think?"
As they emerged, Bai Lianhua looked up from examining a display of tonics, her gaze questioning with an intensity that suggested she'd been counting the minutes. She immediately rushed to Wei Chenglin's side, taking his arm with a possessive grip.
"My treasure, are you well?" she cooed, pressing herself against him in a display of affection so theatrical it deserved its own opera. "Was the Medicine Immortal able to help?"
Wei Chenglin gave her a tender, stupid smile that made Su Lan Yi mentally calculate how much Anti-Nausea Tonic she had in stock. "Yes, my jade butterfly. The treatment seems promising."
Su Lan Yi handed Bai Lianhua her own packet of medicine which Min had so thoughtfully prepared before moving to handle more pressing customers. "Your headache remedy, Senior Sister Bai. I've added a special blend of herbs that should enhance your spiritual perception." What she didn't mention was that the "enhancement" would make Wei Chenglin's cologne smell like fermented bean curd forever. Only to her, of course—a little villainous gift from one vile person to another.
[VILLAINOUS DEED COUNT TODAY: 2! HOST, YOU'RE ON A ROLL! I TAKE IT BACK. THESE NON-LETHAL PETTY REVENGES ARE MUCH MORE ENTERTAINING THAN OUTRIGHT MURDER. EASIER TO CLEAN UP, TOO!]
"We will be watching your business with great interest," Wei Chenglin said to Su Lan Yi, his words carrying both acknowledgment and warning as he pulled Bai Lianhua closer to his side.
"I would expect nothing less," she replied pleasantly. "Do return if you experience any unusual... effects from the treatment. The side effects I mentioned in the instructions are normal. The ones I didn't mention aren't. But I'm sure a couple as devoted as yourselves can handle any unexpected developments."
After Wei Chenglin, Bai Lianhua, and their escorts departed, the shop gradually returned to normal operations. Su Lan Yi attended to several more customers before finally closing for the evening. As she was extinguishing the front lanterns, a familiar shadow darkened the doorway, bringing with it the subtle scent of sandalwood and tightly controlled demonic energy.
"Were you planning to lurk outside all day like a particularly conspicuous crow, or did you intend to actually come in at some point?" she asked without turning around. "You terrified Mrs. Liu's toddler, by the way. The poor child thought the Demon King had come for her dolls."
Hei Wuya stepped into the shop, closing the door behind him with unnecessary force. His expression was thunderous enough to make lesser cultivators seek shelter, a muscle twitching in his jaw. And his scar- "You allowed Wei Chenglin into your private consultation room. Alone."
[HOST. HOST. HOST. I'M DETECTING UNUSUAL LEVELS OF POSSESSIVE ENERGY. JEALOUSY SCAN COMPLETE: 87% PROBABILITY HE'S UPSET ABOUT WEI CHENGLIN BEING ALONE WITH YOU AND A 13% PROBABILITY HE'S ACTUALLY CONCERNED FOR YOUR SAFETY. MEN ARE SO TRANSPARENT...]
"My, my. Were you worried about my virtue?" Su Lan Yi teased, finally turning to face him with mock surprise. "Or perhaps concerned he might recognise me through my veil? Or maybe you thought he might be a superior tea partner to you and win my loyalty?"
"He's dangerous, and your body's former fiancé," Hei Wuya stated flatly, ignoring her attempts at humour while his crimson eyes flashed with what looked suspiciously like jealousy poorly disguised as concern. "And you're vulnerable without your full cultivation base. He could have easily—"
[TRANSLATION OF ACTUAL THOUGHTS: "HOW DARE THAT RIGHTEOUS CULTIVATOR SPEND TIME ALONE WITH MY... WAIT, MY WHAT EXACTLY? MY VILLAINOUS MEDICINAL MENTOR? MY IRRITATING SEMI-IMMORTAL ACQUAINTANCE? MY... FEELINGS ARE COMPLICATED." HE LOOOVES YOU, HE LOOOOOOVES YOU!]
"Attacked a respected business owner in broad daylight with witnesses outside?" Su Lan Yi interrupted. "Or perhaps you think he has a secret passion for murder-suicide? Or maybe you're just upset that he got to see me in private while you've been relegated to hiding behind vegetable carts? Poor you."
Su Lan Yi approached him, patting his arm in a patronising manner that made his crimson eyes narrow dangerously. "Your concern is touching, truly. But I was, after all, defeating Core Formation cultivators when the Divine Healing Sect was still a mountain hut with aspirations. Your concern is noted and appreciated, though. Like watching a puppy guard a dragon."
[HE APPEARS TO BE EXPERIENCING SEVERAL EMOTIONS SIMULTANEOUSLY: CONCERN, ANNOYANCE, AND THE PECULIAR DISTRESS OF SOMEONE BEING BULLIED BY A PERSON HALF THEIR SIZE. IT'S QUITE THE FACIAL JOURNEY.]
Hei Wuya bristled visibly at her tone, his shoulders squaring. "This isn't a joke. If he had recognised you—"
"He didn't!" Su Lan Yi interrupted calmly, moving to prepare her closing inventory while she talked. "And he won't. The Mystique Veil ensures that. Besides, he was far too preoccupied with his cultivation problems to pay much attention to my identity. Men with his level of self-absorption rarely notice others except as tools or obstacles."
Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
"...Cultivation problems?" Hei Wuya's anger gave way to curiosity, his scholarly nature winning out over his protective instincts.
Such a one track mind, heh.
"Precisely as we suspected," Su Lan Yi said, moving to lock the shop door. "He's suffering the side effects of prolonged Heaven's Ascension Elixir use. His meridians are beginning to destabilise, causing painful episodes during high-level techniques. Rather like a cart with wheels of different sizes—eventually, it falls apart at high speeds."
"And you TREATED him?" Hei Wuya sounded incredulous, his tone carrying an undertone of something suspiciously like disapproval. "The man who helped condemn Su Ruolan to death? The same one who tried to have your medicine cart forcibly removed just last week?"
[HE'S DEFINITELY JEALOUS. THE "CONCERNED FOR YOUR SAFETY" FACADE IS THINNER THAN RICE PAPER. SHALL I START COMPOSING THE WEDDING INVITATIONS, OR IS IT TOO SOON? LAN YI AND WUYA SITTING ON A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!]
"Of course I did," Su Lan Yi replied, a mischievous smile audible in her voice. "With a special formulation that will gradually neutralise the addictive compounds while appearing to alleviate his symptoms. In three weeks, he'll be completely dependent on my treatments instead of the Heavenly Nonsense Elixir. Then I'll show him what truly expensive prices can be. Plus, as a little bonus, his ears will make a loud whistling sound whenever he tries to be romantic with his precious 'jade butterfly.' And Bai Lianhua's medicine will make his cologne smell like rotten tofu."
Hei Wuya's eyes widened, the jealousy in his expression giving way to astonishment and then reluctant admiration. "You sabotaged their courtship?"
"I prefer to think of it as adding some much-needed reality to their sickeningly sweet romance," Su Lan Yi said with a dismissive wave. "After witnessing them together, it was either that or develop a remedy for secondhand nausea."
Hei Wuya stared at her for a long moment, then shook his head slowly, something like delight dawning in his expression. "You're not just playing the villain in their story. You're rewriting this entire script in the pettiest, most ridiculous way possible."
"Oh, please. When you've lived as long as I have, you learn that the most effective path isn't always the most direct one," Su Lan Yi led the way to her back room, where she began preparing evening tea for the two of them, per usual. "Sometimes the best revenge is ensuring your enemy needs you to survive. Now, tell me why you were lurking outside my shop like a nervous parent watching their child's first day at cultivation school. Complete with worried pacing and hand-wringing."
[HE APPEARS TO BE EXPERIENCING EMOTIONAL CONFUSION. POSSIBLE CAUSES: YOUR GRANDMOTHERLY ATTITUDE, HIS CONFLICTING DESIRE TO PROTECT YOU WHILE MAINTAINING HIS TERRIFYING REPUTATION, OR INDIGESTION FROM DEMONIC CUISINE- THE HEARTS OF YOUR ENEMIES EDITION. OR PERHAPS ALL THREE SIMULTANEOUSLY.]
Hei Wuya took the seat she indicated, though his posture remained tense enough to snap his spine in two. "The Blood Moon Council received intelligence that Wei Chenglin was planning to 'investigate' your establishment personally. I came to ensure there wouldn't be... incidents."
"With your sword drawn, ready to rush in and save me?" Su Lan Yi raised an eyebrow, her expression incredulous, though the effect was somewhat lost behind her veil. "Were you going to dash in dramatically, declare, 'Unhand that medicine vendor, villain!' and challenge him to a duel? Perhaps while striking a heroic pose with appropriate lighting?"
A faint flush colored Hei Wuya's usually pale cheeks, making his crimson eyes stand out even more vividly. "I was maintaining surveillance," he corrected stiffly, as if the word 'surveillance' somehow made hiding behind cabbages more dignified. Psh, boys.
"Of course you were," Su Lan Yi agreed, her tone making it clear she didn't believe him for a second. She handed him a cup of tea, deliberately adjusting his grip on it with the casual assurance of someone correcting a child. "You're just NOT holding it correctly. After a few hundred years, you'll develop better habits IF you keep correcting yourself."
The flush on Hei Wuya's cheeks deepened, though whether from embarrassment or irritation was hard to tell. "You treat me as if I were a child. And you could just keep correcting me. Where else will you go, leaving your shop?"
"From my perspective, you technically are," Su Lan Yi pointed out, taking the seat opposite him. "A century is a mere blink to someone who has lived a millennium. Besides, who knows if I'll be around for even the whole of this year…"
Something in her tone must have struck a nerve, because Hei Wuya set down his cup with unnecessary force, nearly cracking the delicate porcelain. "I am the Terror of Blood Moon, feared throughout the cultivation world. Disciples from other sects tremble at the mere mention of my name. And you can NOT leave just like that. You still need to find your soul fragment, remember?"
"And yet here you are, being scolded for improper tea-holding technique by a supposedly dead villainess," Su Lan Yi observed cheerfully. "Life is full of such delightful ironies. Next, shall we work on your terrifying glower? The left eye twitches slightly, ruining the effect. Besides, I won't leave immediately. Doesn't mean I'm not leaving at all."
Hei Wuya glared at her, but the effect was somewhat diminished by the fact that he had carefully adjusted his grip on the teacup to match her instruction. This contradiction between his words and actions struck Su Lan Yi as unexpectedly endearing, like watching a fearsome tiger cub trying to roar while accepting grooming.
[HE'S TRYING SO HARD TO INTIMIDATE YOU WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY FOLLOWING YOUR ETIQUETTE ADVICE. THE COGNITIVE DISSONANCE IS DELICIOUS TO OBSERVE. IT'S LIKE WATCHING SOMEONE THREATEN DIRE CONSEQUENCES WHILE ADJUSTING THEIR NAPKIN AND FIXING THEIR TIE.]
Su Lan Yi found herself genuinely smiling behind her veil, an unusual sensation after centuries of solitary cultivation. There was something refreshingly honest about Hei Wuya despite his fearsome reputation—a directness that reminded her of her own impatient youth, before the weight of centuries had taught her the value of subtlety and patience.
"The Ghost Frost Orchid analysis is complete, just so you know," Su Lan Yi said after a moment, changing the subject with the abruptness of someone who had just remembered more important matters and would make them everyone's business. "I've identified exactly how the Cerulean Abode has been modifying the traditional formula to create their addictive version."
Hei Wuya leaned forward, professional curiosity immediately replacing personal gripes. "Can you prove it's deliberately addictive? That would violate Imperial cultivation laws."
"Better than that," Su Lan Yi replied, retrieving a journal from her desk with a flourish. "I can prove they knew about the negative long-term effects and deliberately concealed them from their customers. The modified preparation method leaves distinctive residue markers in the finished product—markers that any master alchemist would recognise as warning signs."
"Including the Imperial Alchemical Examination judges," Hei Wuya noted, seeing where she was heading with the quickness of a genuine scholar beneath his intimidating exterior.
"Precisely. Which brings us to the next phase of our plan." Su Lan Yi's eyes gleamed with anticipation. "I believe it's time to expand our operation. I'm going to need... assistants."
Hei Wuya frowned, the expression darkening his features like a storm cloud. "What kind of assistants?"
"The kind who can gather information discreetly, procure rare ingredients from unusual sources, and occasionally provide protection when needed," Su Lan Yi sipped her tea thoughtfully. "In short, I need to build a team of people loyal to me."
"You're talking about forming your own faction," Hei Wuya stated flatly. "In a city already dominated by established powers. That's suicidal, and unnecessary. Tell me what you need, and I'll bring it."
"Not a faction," Su Lan Yi corrected. "A business enterprise with specialised employees. Unlike most cultivation sects, our primary goal will be straightforward." She smiled behind her veil. "We are going to make money! Lots and lots of money."
[CAPITALISM! VILLAIN ORGANISATIONAL STRUCTURE UPGRADING FROM "SOLO PRACTITIONER" TO "SMALL BUSINESS WITH QUESTIONABLE HIRING PRACTICES"! NEXT STEP: CORPORATE VILLAIN WITH EMPLOYEE BENEFITS PACKAGE? SICK LEAVES? STOCK OPTIONS?]
Hei Wuya looked skeptical, his eyebrows drawing together. "And where do you plan to find these 'specialized employees' who won't immediately report you to the Divine Healing Sect or the Cerulean Abode?"
"Oh, I already have some prospects in mind," Su Lan Yi replied mysteriously. "Starting tomorrow, Immortal Remedies will begin its recruitment process. I've already identified several promising candidates with appropriate grievances against our mutual enemies."
"This is crazy," Hei Wuya warned. "Untested loyalties could—"
"Trust me, young one. By this time next week, we'll have the beginnings of a group that will shake the foundations of Bai City's power structure." She patted his hand in a way that was almost matronly. "And I'll make sure they understand you're not to be trifled with, my fearsome demonic nephew."
The term 'nephew' caused Hei Wuya to choke on his tea, spewing the expensive blend across the table. "I am NOT your nephew," he spluttered, crimson eyes flashing with genuine outrage.
Su Lan Yi merely laughed, finding his reaction unreasonably entertaining. The sound of her genuine mirth filled the small back room like the unexpected chiming of bells in a temple long abandoned.
"My apologies," she said, not sounding apologetic at all. "You're right, of course. 'Nephew' implies a familial connection that doesn't exist."
Hei Wuya nodded stiffly, seemingly appeased, until she added:
"Perhaps 'apprentice' would be more accurate? Or 'junior disciple'?"
The look of absolute horror on his face was possibly the most satisfying thing Su Lan Yi had seen in several centuries.
Meridian Issues (经脉问题 – Jīngmài Wèntí)
Pathways of spiritual energy suffering from imbalance. Su Lan Yi treats Wei Chenglin's while adding a special powder that causes ear whistling during romantic moments.
Anti-Nausea Tonic (止吐汤 – Zhǐ Tǔ Tāng)
A remedy for stomach discomfort. Su Lan Yi mentally calculates her stock after witnessing Wei Chenglin and Bai Lianhua's sickeningly sweet displays of affection.
Core Formation Cultivator (结丹修士 – Jié Dān Xiūshì)
Advanced practitioners who have formed their golden core. Su Lan Yi was defeating these when Divine Healing Sect was still a mountain hut with aspirations.
Heaven's Ascension Elixir (天升丹 – Tiān Shēng Dān)
The Divine Healing Sect's addictive concoction. Su Lan Yi renames it "Heavenly Nonsense Elixir" when speaking privately.
Demonic Energy (魔气 – Mó Qì)
Dark spiritual power used by Blood Moon cultivators. Hei Wuya's is tightly controlled but still detectable by Su Lan Yi's senses.
Cultivation Base (修为根基 – Xiūwéi Gēnjī)
A practitioner's foundation of power. Su Lan Yi is supposedly "vulnerable".
Master Alchemist (丹道大师 – Dān Dào Dàshī)
An expert in medicinal and elixir creation. Would immediately recognize the warning signs in the Cerulean Abode's deliberately addictive formulations.
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