"This is bad," Hei Wuya muttered, instinctively stepping closer to her cart. "They must have heard about your... business venture."
"So quickly? I'm flattered by their attention." Su Lan Yi straightened her veil and smoothed down her simple merchant robes. "Let's see what the protagonists want with a humble medicine vendor, shall we?"
The procession came to a halt directly in front of her cart. Wei Chenglin's gaze swept over her modest setup with undisguised contempt before landing on Hei Wuya. His expression immediately shifted to wary hostility.
"Blood Moon’s Terror," he said, hand moving to rest on his sword hilt. "What business do you have in our territory?"
"Last I checked," Hei Wuya replied coolly, "Bai City was under imperial jurisdiction, not sect territory."
[OOH, JURISDICTIONAL DISPUTE. THE MOST EXCITING KIND OF LEGAL ARGUMENT!]
Wei Chenglin's jaw tightened. "The imperial family has granted Divine Healing Sect oversight of this region in matters of cultivation and security. Your presence here is... concerning."
"I'm simply purchasing medicine," Hei Wuya gestured to Su Lan Yi's cart. "Unless that's now prohibited?"
Wei Chenglin's attention shifted to Su Lan Yi, his eyes narrowing. "You. Medicine vendor. Do you know who you're serving?"
"A paying customer," Su Lan Yi replied pleasantly. "Would you care to become one as well? Our spring clearance promotional sale ends today."
[BOLD MARKETING STRATEGY: TRYING TO SELL MEDICINE TO SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO KILL YOU. UNCONVENTIONAL BUT AMBITIOUS.]
Bai Lianhua stepped forward, her white robes flowing around her like water. She was beautiful in an ethereal, untouchable way, with clear eyes that seemed to see through deceptions and a gentle demeanor that belied her considerable power.
"Your remedies undercut the Medical Shop's prices significantly," she observed in a melodious voice. "One might wonder how you maintain quality at such rates."
"One might also wonder how the Cerulean Abode maintains such high prices when the ingredients cost a fraction of what they charge," Su Lan Yi countered smoothly. "But I'm sure it has nothing to do with their exclusive supply agreement with certain sects."
Bai Lianhua's serene expression flickered briefly, confirming Su Lan Yi's suspicions. Su Ruolan's memories had included fragments about a special arrangement between Divine Healing Sect and the Wei Clan—one that guaranteed inflated prices in exchange for preferential treatment and constant control over the medical supply routes.
[DIRECT HIT! FEMALE PROTAGONIST'S COMPOSURE DAMAGED BY 15%!]
"Your insinuations are dangerous," Wei Chenglin said coldly. "As are your associates." He glanced pointedly at Hei Wuya.
"I wasn't aware medicine vendors needed to screen their customers' sect affiliations," Su Lan Yi replied. "How inconvenient that would be for commerce."
A vein pulsed in Wei Chenglin's temple. "Your permit," he demanded, extending his hand. "Show me your merchant authorization."
Su Lan Yi smiled behind her veil. This was the moment she'd been waiting for.
[INITIATING DRAMATIC REVEAL SEQUENCE IN 3... 2... 1...]
"Of course," she said sweetly, reaching beneath her cart. Instead of the non-existent permit, she produced a small, ornate box sealed with imperial wax. "I believe this should address any concerns about my authorization to conduct business."
Wei Chenglin frowned, taking the box. As he broke the seal and opened it, his expression transformed from suspicion to shock. Inside lay an official document bearing the imperial crest—a genuine merchant certificate, signed by the Commerce Minister himself. It was of higher value than a simple license, and not something money could buy.
Come on, take the bait. Any moment now… and there it is— his mental and optical dissonance in full bloom. Ha!
"This is..." he began, turning the document over as if expecting to find some flaw, some forgery. Then, realization struck. His jaw tightened, his fingers clenching just slightly. "This appears to be in order."
[CONFUSION DAMAGE: CRITICAL! MALE PROTAGONIST EXPERIENCING COGNITIVE DISSONANCE!]
"I'm so pleased you think so," Su Lan Yi said cheerfully, taking back the document. "Now, unless there's something specific you wish to purchase, I have other customers waiting."
Indeed, a small crowd had gathered to watch the confrontation, whispering among themselves at the sight of the imperial document.
Wei Chenglin's face flushed with barely contained anger. "This isn't over," he muttered, low enough that only Su Lan Yi and Hei Wuya could hear. "An obstacle just like you, Su Ruolan, almost died for her crimes against our Sect. The Heavens saved her that day, but others who follow her path will meet the same fate."
Su Lan Yi tilted her head. "Su Ruolan? I'm not familiar with the name. I'm simply a medicine vendor trying to make an honest living."
[INNOCENT ACT BELIEVABILITY: 3%. BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE YOU HAVE THAT SWEET, SWEET IMPERIAL DOCUMENT.]
"We'll be watching you," Bai Lianhua added, her gentle voice carrying an unmistakable threat.
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"How flattering," Su Lan Yi replied. "Though I can recommend an excellent remedy for unhealthy obsessions. Only forty copper coins, with a free eye tonic included in today's promotion."
Several onlookers failed to suppress their snickers, causing Wei Chenglin's flush to deepen. Without another word, he wheeled his horse around and departed, his guards and Bai Lianhua following in his wake.
[ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: EMBARRASSED PROTAGONISTS IN PUBLIC. +75 VILLAIN POINTS! BONUS: MADE THEM RETREAT FIRST. +25 VILLAIN POINTS!]
As the crowd dispersed, Hei Wuya turned to Su Lan Yi with an expression of disbelief. "Where did you get an imperial merchant certificate? Those require powerful connections and the explicit trust of the imperial trade commission."
"I have my methods," Su Lan Yi replied cryptically.
"You forged an imperial document?" he whispered, horror flickering in his eyes. "That's treason!"
"I did no such thing," she said, affronted. "The license is completely genuine."
"Then how—"
"Let's just say a certain imperial scribe has a weakness for exotic teas that may or may not contain subtle mood enhancers." Su Lan Yi adjusted her veil. "He was remarkably agreeable after the third cup, especially since it was nighttime."
Hei Wuya stared at her for a long moment, then shook his head. "You drugged an imperial official last night after leaving your own execution?"
"I shared a specialty beverage with a new friend," she corrected. "The fact that he felt unusually generous afterward is hardly my responsibility."
[CREATIVE INTERPRETATION OF EVENTS: MASTER LEVEL. TECHNICALLY NOT LYING WHILE COMPLETELY MISREPRESENTING THE TRUTH.]
"You're..." Hei Wuya seemed at a loss for words.
"A skilled herbalist?" Su Lan Yi suggested helpfully. "A savvy businesswoman? A delightful conversationalist?"
"Terrifying," he finished, but there was a note of something like admiration in his voice.
Su Lan Yi laughed, the sound surprisingly melodious. "Coming from the 'Terror of Blood Moon,' I'll take that as a compliment."
For a brief moment, a smile threatened to break through Hei Wuya's carefully maintained intimidating facade. He quickly suppressed it, but not before Su Lan Yi caught the flash of genuine amusement.
[DETECTING UNPRECEDENTED FACIAL MUSCLE MOVEMENT IN TARGET. IS HE... SMILING? ALERT: POTENTIAL SYSTEM MALFUNCTION AND THE COMPLETE BREAKDOWN OF THE INTELLIGENCE BANK ON HEI WUYA.]
"You still haven't explained what your ultimate goal is," he said, changing the subject. "This can't simply be about selling discounted medicine."
"Why not? Perhaps I have a passion for affordable healthcare."
"And perhaps I'm secretly a flower arrangement enthusiast," he replied dryly.
Su Lan Yi pretended to consider this. "Hmm. You do strike me as someone who might appreciate the subtle art of properly positioned chrysanthemums."
[MENTAL IMAGE GENERATED: HEI WUYA IN FULL DEMONIC CULTIVATOR REGALIA DELICATELY ARRANGING FLOWERS. PROCESSING... PROCESSING... ERROR: UNABLE TO COMPUTE WITHOUT LAUGHING. AND I CANNOT LAUGH.]
Hei Wuya opened his mouth to retort when a commotion from the direction of the Divine Healing Sect's medical shop caught their attention. A large group of guards was emerging from the building, led by Third Elder Zhao Ming, who was pointing directly at Su Lan Yi's cart.
"It seems our friends have decided on a less diplomatic approach," Su Lan Yi observed calmly, beginning to pack her remaining inventory into her qiankun pouch with practiced efficiency.
"They wouldn't dare attack in broad daylight," Hei Wuya said, though he didn't sound entirely convinced.
"Care to wager on that?" Su Lan Yi asked as the guards began pushing through the crowd toward them. "Because I count sixteen armed men who appear quite determined to prove you wrong."
[THREAT ASSESSMENT: SEVENTEEN ARMED GUARDS + ONE ANGRY ELDER = APPROXIMATELY 0.2% OF A PROPER HEAVENLY TRIBULATION. BUT STILL INCONVENIENT WITHOUT YOUR IMMORTAL POWERS.]
Hei Wuya stepped in front of her cart, his hand moving to his sword hilt. "You should leave. Now."
"Don't be absurd," Su Lan Yi replied, continuing to pack her wares. "I'm not abandoning my merchandise because of a minor inconvenience."
"Sixteen armed guards is not a 'minor inconvenience'!"
"Seventeen, and you clearly haven't faced a tribulation yet," she muttered. "Now, make yourself useful and help me with this cart. We're relocating temporarily."
Before Hei Wuya could argue further, Su Lan Yi had collapsed the cart into a surprisingly compact form and thrust it into his arms.
"What are you planning to do?" he demanded, automatically taking the bundle.
Su Lan Yi withdrew a small packet from her sleeve. "Create a distraction, of course."
"What kind of—"
He didn't get to finish his question because Su Lan Yi had already tossed the packet into the air, where it burst into a cloud of fine powder that spread rapidly over the approaching guards. For a moment, nothing happened.
Then, as one, all the guards and Elder Zhao Ming erupted into uncontrollable sneezing.
The human body was such a fragile thing. A single whiff, and the mighty warriors of the Divine Healing Sect had been reduced to undignified, wheezing messes, who were given a wide berth by the surrounding . She almost felt bad. Almost.
[MASS HISTAMINE RESPONSE INITIATED! EFFECTIVENESS: 100%! BONUS: SYNCHRONIZED SNEEZING IS SURPRISINGLY HILARIOUS!]
"Run, now!" Su Lan Yi said, slipping effortlessly into motion because, unlike her pursuers, she had anticipated this exact scenario. She grabbed Hei Wuya's sleeve, yanking him into a side alley before he could question the effectiveness of herbal warfare.
Hei Wuya allowed himself to be led away, looking back over his shoulder at the chaos they were leaving behind. "Hista-huh? You just assaulted members of a major clan in broad daylight!"
"Assault is such a harsh word," Su Lan Yi replied as they navigated the narrow backstreets of Bai City. "I prefer to think of it as providing a free demonstration of this sneezing powder's effectiveness. Truly, it was a generous marketing gesture."
The alley was barely wide enough for two people, the damp stone walls pressing in close. Overhead, lanterns swayed slightly with the evening breeze, their light casting fractured shadows against the uneven pavement. The scent of old parchment and brewing tea mingled with the less pleasant odors of the city’s backstreets.
[REFRAMING CRIMINAL ASSAULT AS MARKETING: ADVANCED VILLAIN TECHNIQUE, BIG BOSS!]
Hei Wuya stared at her for a long moment, before something unexpected happened—he laughed. It was a short, surprised sound, as if he'd caught himself off guard, but it was genuine.
Su Lan Yi stopped in her tracks, turning to face him. "Was that... actual amusement from THE Hei Wuya? How scandalous. What would your demonic worshippers think?"
Hei Wuya immediately schooled his features back into their customary serious expression, but there was still a glint in his crimson eyes. "They would think I've lost my mind, associating with a thousand-year-old failed immortal who fights powerful clans for fun."
"For profit," Su Lan Yi corrected. "The fun is merely a bonus."
Imperial Jurisdiction (皇家管辖权 – Huángjiā Guǎnxiá Quán)
The authority of the imperial family over territories.
Merchant Certificate (商贾证书 – Shāng Gǔ Zhèngshū)
An official document authorizing business activities. Su Lan Yi's imperial-grade version causes cognitive dissonance in Wei Chenglin's brain.
Imperial Crest (皇家徽章 – Huángjiā Huīzhāng)
The official symbol of imperial authority. When stamped on documents, it transforms "arrest this person immediately" into "leave this person alone."
Sneezing Powder (喷嚏粉 – Pēntì Fěn)
A potent histamine-triggering compound. When deployed against Divine Healing Sect guards, it creates synchronized sneezing that is surprisingly hilarious.
Heavenly Tribulation (天劫 – Tiān Jié)
The ultimate test of a cultivator's worthiness. According to Su Lan Yi, makes seventeen armed guards look like a minor inconvenience.
Demonic Worshippers (魔教信徒 – Mó Jiào Xìntú)
Followers of powerful demonic cultivators. Would be scandalized by their leader's genuine laughter.
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