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Act 1 - A Certain Future (Part 3)

  Ami Mizuno stood at the foot of the hospital bed. Her hands were steady, but her heart pounded as erratically as the beeping of the monitor. The patient, a young woman in her early twenties, lay motionless on the bed; each of her breaths was shallow and ragged.

  The car accident had been severe, the patient’s injuries extensive. Still, she had survived the initial surgeries. Now, something was wrong.

  “BP dropping,” the nurse’s voice cut through the sterile air.

  Ami glanced at the monitor. Her mind raced through several possibilities. Her mentor, Dr. Kobayashi, stood nearby, silent and observant. She had earned his respect over the last six months, since returning from her studies in America. Her brilliance was undeniable. Right now, however, Ami feared that neither his experience nor her brilliance would be enough.

  Ami pushed her glasses up on her nose, then tucked a stray strand of her black hair behind her ear. Her round, bookish face, no doubt, had scrunched up in concentration. She didn’t care.

  “Push more fluids and get the crash cart.”

  Her voice was steady despite the tightness in her chest.

  Come on, you can do this.

  She had achieved her goals, had followed in her mother’s footsteps and become one of the youngest doctors in the history of Japan. She conducted herself like a doctor with decades of experience.

  Yet, with each passing second, it became clearer that the young woman was slipping away. Ami’s stomach twisted. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. She was supposed to fix it.

  Memories of her time as Sailor Mercury flashed through her mind. She had used her powers to protect others, to keep death at bay. Where was that strength now?

  “Clear!”

  Ami shouted as she placed the paddles on the patient’s chest. Her voice was clear and strong. The patient jolted, but the heart monitor continued to beep erratically. She could feel her mentor’s eyes on her. She couldn’t look at him. Not yet.

  “Again!”

  This time, her voice cracked.

  Another shock. For a split second, Ami allowed herself the luxury of hope. Then reality came crashing down on her; the monitor flatlined. The patient’s heart had stopped beating.

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  Ami stared at the lifeless woman before her, feeling the weight of failure press down on her chest. She opened her mouth, but her voice refused to make a sound.

  Dr. Kobayashi stepped forward.

  “Time of death, Dr. Mizuno?”

  She shook her head.

  “No, I can…there has to be something else we can do…”

  Her voice wavered as the inescapable truth settled in. Dr. Kobayashi looked at her with sympathy in his eyes.

  “Dr. Mizuno. She’s gone.”

  The words hung in the air like an accusation. The room spun and Ami bit down on her lip.

  Don’t you dare faint!

  She had seen death before, but this was different. This woman was her responsibility, and she was powerless to help her. For all her intelligence, for all her skill, Ami couldn’t save this patient.

  The hospital room was quiet now, the machinery silenced. The nurse averted her eyes from Ami and went about her business. Dr. Kobayashi placed a hand on Ami’s shoulder.

  “Let’s step outside.”

  Ami followed him, her mind numb. Once in the hallway, Dr. Kobayashi closed the door and turned to her, his expression both sympathetic and serious.

  “You did everything you could, Dr. Mizuno.”

  She shook her head, eyes wide.

  “No. There was something I missed. I should have been able to save her. She was so young. She…”

  Her words seemed to get stuck in her throat and she looked away.

  Kobayashi studied her for a moment.

  “Ami, you’re an exceptional doctor. Your intelligence is unparalleled. You may be the brightest young doctor I’ve ever seen, but… you care too much.”

  He spoke softly, but his words struck Ami like a slap.

  “I care too much? Isn’t that why we do this? Because we care?”

  He ran a hand through his gray hair and sighed. His face bore the marks of years spent in these corridors. He had seen countless lives both begin and end. It was all right there, etched on his face.

  “There must be balance. You need to care enough to do the best for your patients, yes. You also have to accept that the outcome is often beyond your control or this job will tear you apart.”

  He took a deep breath, then exhaled.

  “If you cannot maintain a professional distance between yourself and your patients, you will fail as a doctor.”

  Ami stared at him, the reality of his words sinking in. All of her life, she had worked toward a singular goal: to become a doctor like her mother. It had never occurred to her that she may be too soft at heart for this job.

  If that was the truth, then where did that leave her? She was no longer Sailor Mercury. A medical career may not be the right fit for her. What did she have left?

  Her knees buckled, and she sank to the floor, her back against the wall. The tears finally spilled out. She covered her face with her hands. Her body shook with silent sobs.

  Dr. Kobayashi didn’t comfort her. Instead, he crouched beside her, not as her mentor but as an equal who needed her to see the truth.

  “You can’t save everyone, Ami. No matter how hard you try.”

  Ami couldn’t speak; she couldn’t even breathe. She felt so small, lost in the vastness of her failure. How could she go on like this? How could she try to save people every single day and know that she would fail?

  For the first time in a long time, Ami felt truly alone. All she could think about was how much she missed her friends.

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