home

search

Chapter 2: Pro Wrestler Wife

  “8 gold each?! You shitty dwarf, it was 3 gold a week ago!”

  “Times change you shitty human, demand is skyrocketing.”

  “I’m the only one who buys these!”

  Right now, I’m in the workshop of the best Blacksmith in the capital. The black-haired dwarf in front of me is Gill Coldaxe. This greedy Child of Earth is trying to cheat me of my money... Hehe. Just watch as I pull you down, Gill.

  “Sana! Gill’s been drinking again instead of working!” I yell.

  Gill the Master Blacksmith smiles condescendingly and says, “Heh. Valk, I won’t fall for that again. Sana’s running errands in the next town over.”

  Haha, this dummy didn’t see me cast a medium-range portal behind him before I yelled. Directly behind Gill, a rift in space silently appears in the air. On the other side of the rift, a fair-haired dwarven woman stares at the back of the burly man in front of me.

  A shrill voice rings out, “Gill Coldaxe!! The deadlines for all those custom orders are so close and you dare slack off and drink again??”

  Panic descends on the bearded face in front of me. He spins around to face his wife, and “somehow” the hammer he was holding has turned into a pint of beer. He doesn't realize it yet.

  “Wha? No, I wouldn’t dare! I haven’t had a sip all day.”

  “Then just what are you holding? Huh? You think I’m blind? You think I’m dumb? Huh?”

  Gill looks at the glass in his hand and knows he's been duped. It's too late. Sana steps through the portal and grabs hold of Gill. She lifts him over her head with ease. She throws his sturdy body to the ground before performing the People’s Elbow.

  “San- Oof! Sana, wait! This isn’t! Ouch! Valk did this! Ahhh!”

  “Valk put beer in your hand? Ridiculous!”

  I grin as I watch Sana perform all sorts of professional wrestling moves on her husband. Dang, a Suplex followed by a Piledriver? That’s gotta hurt.

  After a while, I interrupt as Sana catches Gill in an armbar, “Hey, Sana. Don’t hurt him too bad, he still has a good amount of work to do.”

  Gill breathes a sigh of relief as his torment ends. Sana stares unblinkingly at her husband as she walks back through the portal to continue her errands. She smiles at me and waves before the rift closes.

  I cast some beginner-class healing magic on Gill after waving back. I only know these low-level healing spells due to my incompatibility with Holy magic.

  I move up next to Gill and whisper in his ear, “Hasn’t it been a while since you saw your in-laws? Her Majesty surely misses her cute little grandson by now.”

  Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.

  Gill’s eyes widen and he whispers, “You wouldn’t.”

  I laugh, “Haha you’re right I wouldn’t. That would be far too cruel to you and to Kaln especially. Anyways, here’s 24 gold for the 3 pieces of Obsidian.”

  Gill’s face starts turning red. That’s how I know he’s about to explode.

  He speaks slowly, probably trying to calm himself down, “If...you were going… to pay full price the whole time… then... why? Sana?”

  Obviously, I would be aware of the trouble in the mines causing prices to skyrocket. I’m an Archmage. I know things.

  This idiot dwarf wouldn’t try to raise prices without a reason. The reason I got him in trouble? Well, I was just bored today, is all. Now, I am thoroughly amused. I won’t tell him that though, he’s already close to exploding.

  I shrug, pick up my ore and run out of the shop. As I come out onto the street, the first person I see is a little dwarf boy with dirt covering almost every part of him.

  “Big-bro Valk!”

  “Kaln, you brat, how are you so dirty?”

  I cast Aqua Rush but I restrict its strength. A jet of water shoots out of my hand and quickly but thoroughly cleans Kaln. I then cast a weakened Heat Wave to dry him up quickly. Elite-class magic sure comes in handy for mundane activities.

  Kaln smiles and says, “Thanks, big bro! I was just practicing by fightin’ some earth elementals like ya told me to.”

  This 7-year old brat is a close-combat prodigy. His martial arts are already at a higher level than a lot of the older monks I’ve seen. Hehe, he must have a great teacher.

  Kaln says, “Big bro, 5,000 repetitions is too easy now.”

  I respond, “Ok, do 10,000 tomorrow. Find me afterwards. It's time for a new technique.”

  That’s right. I’m his teacher.

  “Kaln, fair warning, your dad’s really close to erupting.”

  A look of resignation appears on the face of a youth that doesn’t even know the meaning of the word “resignation.”

  “Big bro, ya gotta stop using mom to bully dad.”

  I snort and look down at him with cold arrogance, “Kaln, you are far too young to understand the sophisticated need for amusement of an adult such as me.”

  Kaln the dwarven child looks at my proud expression and sighs. Shaking his small head, he walks towards the workshop.

  I walk the wide, paved streets of the capital until I come upon an immensely tall tower. Dozens of flags hang from it, all sharing the same symbol. The emblem consists of two silver staves forming an ‘X’ above a pure-black fist that aims at the sky. It is my symbol. It shows off my two identities. I am both a powerful practitioner of the Martial Way and an Archmage.

  It’s a lame symbol, I need a new one. This one was assigned to me. I want dragons on mine. Archmage Helix gets dragons. It’s unfair. Discrimination!

  The only reason his symbol has dragons is because he’s the best Dragon Tamer in the country. I have nothing to do with dragons but I should obviously still be able to get a symbol with dragons on it. It doesn’t matter that the flag symbol is supposed to be an accurate representation of the expertise of the Archmage!

  I walk into my tower grumbling about dragons when my maid greets me.

  “Master Valk, you’ve been summoned by the King. He says it’s urgent.”

  “Haaah. Fine. I’ll go see Fatty now. This is probably about the invasion.”

  “Master… He’s not fat anymore! It’s been at least a decade. You know he hates that nickname. I beg you to at least call him by his real name.”

  “No. He’ll always be Fatty to me. More importantly. Petition for Symbol Change?”

  “Denied again. I’ve already applied once more.”

  “Good work, Theresa. Never give up. Never surrender.”

  I curse the Mage Association under my breath before heading out to the palace.

Recommended Popular Novels