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Hello! Im Lucina Olline, the worst MC you could have!

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  Ugh. I really hope this works... "Well, here goes!"

  <<[Skill: Self-Summon] used.>>

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  FUCK!!!

  FUCK!!!

  FUCK EVERYTHING! FUCK!!! FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCC CCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!

  -5 minutes later-

  Well, shit. I'm in the wrong world. Damn, I really wanted to go to a fantasy world, y'know, a knights-and-magic kinda world? Not a place where sword art is everywhere, not just online! I mean, for Guair's sake I just saw someone named Silika! But, there are still upsides to everything, right? Oh, I should probably introduce myself, My name is Lucina Olline, the head of a crime syndicate called the Caldonians, but i guess now that i'm in this world I quit? Let's put aside the rest of my character intro for now and look at my stats to make sure...

  Skills Sealed? DULLAHAN?!? BOKUEN?!?!? I need some explanations!

  And the skills?

  Hm. FUCK!!!

  Oh well, there's still something redeemable at least. Now I have Dullahan powers! Wait, where's my body?

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  FUCK!

  ... Try to stay optimistic...

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  THANK GUAIR!!! For a second I thought I was going to be stuck as a head forever! Wait, why do I have that? Didn't i have my sk-

  ... Not gonna comment on that. Who's speaking?

  Best answer ever. I don't like not knowing who's voicing the stat window, though...

  What's your name?

  Seriously? Your name's Someone?

  Oh well. That's good to know. Thanks, Someone.

  Time to try out [Form Recall]...

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  ...

  Um... WTF?!? *Head is flying faster than the speed of light* How do I stop... OW, what the hell was that for? I thought when my head attached, it wouldn't be like a fucking bullet...

  Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  "HOLY SHIT!!! DULLAHAN!!! RUN!!!"

  Said the human trying to bury my lower half. 'Um, hello?'

  "RUN BEFORE IT KILLS US!!!"

  It wasn't alone? Wait, now that i think about it, how am i seeing it? I'm blind!

  Oh... That's useful... That reminds me: My body changed. So what do i even look like?

  ...

  I am not looking down there. But i have to eventually, so...

  ...TBH, I don't wanna know what that thing is... But it ain't a normal one. I could swear it just went INSIDE! But yeah, the other thing's OK.

  Ok, maybe I need to explain a bit further. Now I can go fuck myself if anyone tells me to, sort of?

  ...

  But, then again, it looks more like a battleship cannon that's been fired too many times, so IDK. Should I try?

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  I do NOT want that one.

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  Or that one... Well, maybe I want that one...

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  HOW?!?!?

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  ...

  (During all of this time, I had failed to realize the weakness to my Abilities, of which most are always passive: Confusion)

  ...

  And I'm in a cage. Wasn't I free just a second ago? Wait... This isn't a cage. It's a binding spell! How could I be so careless?

  Not like it's a problem, but still, the only way to restrain me is to disable my abilities, skills, and consciousness, which I did myself. Then, you'd have to avoid basic body functions, like punching and such. Given how I was one of the strongest fighters of my homeworld, that must have been no easy feat! Someone, how did this binding spell get on my body?

  Good point.

  "Hello? もしもし? Anyone there?"

  "Omae wa mo shindeiru! How are you still here? We know you didn't use [Status: Lich], so how? How are you alive, Lucina?"

  Can nobody get my name right? Besides, I can't even tell who's speaking right now or where they are!

  WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?

  I didn't know the stat window, which is reading my mind without permission, could actually say something like that...

  Anyways... (I was using [Elemental Vision] and applying it to a set of artificially made contact lenses) Done! That's better!

  "Ok, now I can see you... Where did you go?"

  "That was a long wait. Wondering what to say, or something? Also, I was never here. You're too strong for me to actually take down without an army of mages with [Specialty: Trapper]. Did you honestly think i'd come greet you, knowing what you're capable of? You bound yourself up! Ok, this is annoying, I am trying to use telepathy, but it was somehow being thrown off for the longest f*cking time! Anyways, I need to know, HOW THE FUCK YOU ARE ALIVE AFTER BEING DEAD FOR 3 YEARS?!?"

  "Oh yeah, during that time I was in Isekai... Wait, you know me? Just where am I?"

  "Answer my god damn question first!"

  "I did! Now, who are you, where are you from, and why aren't you coming here?"

  "No you didn't! And I don't need to answer you, especially since you already know!"

  "No I don't! This is my first time ever coming to this world!"

  "No it isn't! Seriously, can you not even remember your own sister's voice?"

  ...

  ...

  ...

  "Nope. I don't have one."

  ...

  " *Sob* "

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  Oh shit! It really was her! Not a succubus prostitute!

  "Tatsuki?"

  "Oh Guair... For a second, i'd thought you might have actually forgotten me..."

  "Woah. We might be having a reunion, but don't go using the ChronoLord's name in vain... We are in Calcedonia, right? If by some chance I was summoned here again?"

  "Hell no! You blew that shithole to hell, remember? You literally sacrificed yourself to destroy it!"

  Then, how did I end up keeping my body after, and again now?

  Can you go back to being a stat window? You're taking up too much space!

  "So, that still doesn't answer the question... Where am I, where are you, and how did I get here?"

  "Going in order, you were inside a statue until you destroyed it with your head... I'm on my way there, taking a-"

  "Answer the god damn questions! What world?"

  "Ugh, I was... Well, the world you're in is Sidonia."

  ...

  Shit. This is just absolute shit!

  I'm still in Isekai? How? Hero summonings don't take you to the world you're leaving!

  I don't like you.

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