Bad Meets Evil [Parody]

  Sonic and Knuckles stare down each-other in a shabby town in the desert.

  Sonic: Well, if it ain't the knuckled cuckold.

  Knuckles: I'm not here to spread insults, Sonic. I'm here to spread bullets. You knew that Rouge was mine. You're gonna pay!

  Sonic: I'd like to see you try to beat the fastest thing alive!

  Joshua: Guys, wait!

  Sonic spin-dashes at Knuckles, however that works, as Knuckles throws his fist forward and they go through each-other.

  Sonic: What The-!

  Knuckles: How did-

  Joshua: You idiots! Don't you remember this is the alternate universe where you're vengeful ghosts who can't ever defeat each-other?

  Sonic: What're-Alternate Universe?! What're you talking about?! There's only one universe! My Universe! Stop Making Nonsense!

  Joshua: Screw It! I can't explain this Crap right now.

  Joshua leaves.

  Sonic: … Well, if we can't fight, wanna rap instead?

  Knuckles: Rap battle?

  Sonic: More like a rap raffle. Throw some words in a bowl to see which ones have more soul than the troll who stole the gold from the box in Fort Knox.

  Knuckles: Alright, just chill.

  Sonic: What's “Chill?” Can I kill it at will with skill?

  Knuckles: This'll be a disaster.

  Sonic: Alright! I'll get it together.

  Knuckles: That possible?

  The music starts up.

  Sonic: Ahem!... I don't think. I float on the brink, trapped in J's brain meat. I'm not a real thing! I'm a ghost, rapped on this sheet! The corpus callosum is about as awesome as a Bellossom in blossom outta Autumn. Should've got some if your not scum, like Newsom with his blue thumb.

  Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

  Knuckles: Uuuh?

  Sonic: Don't fill yo red-dreaded dreadful head with dread. Got ya girl, but she still ain't dead. I ask you to come to the snark side, and you said?

  Knuckles: Who's harder? David Harbour, the men who fought at Pearl Harbor, or the masterful Master Emerald charter? I'll break into a girl parlor to get a shard-or Rouge's boobs gobbled. Head bobbled from the knowledge I garnered. Kissed a vampire, intelligent liar. Gave her my spire in a pile driver. Abyssal. Wanna dare, man? I'll rip you open with bare hands and display you across these fair lands just to get at yo care plan! One track mind's sore. Buried a wide dork on the white shore and rested there with a light snore. I stay over-worked over the girth of the Mobian dirt, but we're coming to mobilize skirts!

  Sonic: 'Cause, this is what happens when Bad Meets Evil. We hittin' up the creepy steeple to kill rad, neat people.

  Knuckles: He's Evil, and I'm Bad, like the three dads J thought he had.

  Sonic: Above the law, as long as it's face is the Legal Eagle.

  Knuckles: I ain't a fan of legalese neither.

  Sonic: We ain't eager to be the Beatles either. Gettin' groggy. I need a needle ether. Gettin' hyper to mingle around with singles in crowds. Sprayin' my rounds around while pounding the clown to the mound, making a squeakin' sound. *Squeak* *Squeak*

  Knuckles: He's mentally cracked, like the bat who smoked crack in an ounce, which was a lethal amount.

  Sonic: No, I'm not! Just got up and I'm wound from Geiru's pink crown. I'm weak an' down. So, bow me out right now from these girly pigs, sow. Ow! Ow!

  Knuckles: The disaster with dreads. I'm bad enough to lie, stride into yo life all sly, and steal yo threads. In my manger, I ate Humvee's. Now that I'm a dater, I eat feminine strangers, like Bunnie, and freeze the rest to lick later, like Eminem. Punch yo face at such a pace it just leaves a stain and red paste on my shoe lace. I'll leave a trace! Crap on yo bag and burnt it, took all the goods like I earned it. Find a new hotty, throw yo body in the potty, and worm in. Wipin' you up crass, throwin' foes, smackin' maws. Rappin', I Can, like Nas. Breaking Angry Joes like they're made of Human glass. I'm barely grazing yo knees just to see how easily they bleed. Think you making a stink? Yo beak ain't as big as a raisin to me. You a flash in the pan. Set up a camera, man. Feed ya to a chimera, Stan. Make you mash in a flan.

  Sonic: *Ring* *Ring* This Nick? This is Rick with something to say that's ironic.

  Robotnic: Make this quick, Sonic. What's up?

  Knuckles: Hang up! They know it's us!

  Joshua: *Click* Used to be a loudmouth, remember me?

  You: Uh-uh.

  Joshua: I'm the one who gutted yo clout out.

  Sonic: Oh.

  Joshua: Well, I'll spout aloud now.

  Knuckles: Nuts!

  Joshua: This time, I'm comin' back to get Cloud cucked, put 'em in the corner with tape so he can't shout up. Gimme some crap to adapt in a rap and I'll snap, stab the scab in yo back as I nap. Got shoes on my feet. So, when I leave, I'll step on the peak without skipping a beat.

  Sonic: This is what happens when cat meets beagle. Go back a few years to see that bat beats people.

  Knuckles: He's Evil, and I'm Bad, like the sequel starring squeakin' weasels. How'd we become equals? See you in heck for the prequel.

  Sonic: Heck! The squeaquel. Ha-Ha!

  Knuckles: Knucks Da 5'9”. See ya.

  Sonic: Slim Speedy. 'Til next time!

  Knuckles: We really gonna have a sequel?

  Sonic: Does Bad meet Evil?

  Sonic voiced by Slim Shady

  Knuckles voiced by Royce Da 5'9”

  Joshua voiced by Eminem