I opened my eyes, and discovered the familiar green healing array covering my torso.

  "And the lesson is, don't freeze in combat." I muttered for myself.

  "So you're not stupid, just lacking real experience. Are you sure you want to send Lin Fei into that inheritance trial?" Grandpa asked me in a strange voice.

  I nodded. I remembered things from a novel I read years ago, in another life. That trial was better suited for a demonic cultivator, especially as it involved eating a lot of souls.

  "He will need a solid base in Formation Arrays and breaking restrictions. It's a pity I can't give him my ring, as it will return to me in a week. Then some concealing artifact and recovery pills, and he'll be fine." I said as my stomach sealed itself closed.

  Grandpa sighed, then nodded. "I'll make something for your beloved demon then. And you go deal with the idiots outside."

  I stood up and shifted outside, where my Outer Tower was experiencing its first crisis.

  Elder Song wasn't a match for a Young Master with a Divine Realm backer, and Miss Lin was experiencing her damsel in distress moment. Was she a protagonist archetype too? I recalled a few Auction house women from several xianxia novels. Either a powerful family or some evil masterplan that stretched for 100 generations. Maybe both.

  With a finger flick, I sent Miss Lin inside my spatial ring, where she would be safe should this adventure end in a big explosion.

  "Who are you two? Why should I spare your lives?" I asked in a bored voice.

  "...You dare!" the Young Master raged and punched my face with all his strength. I waited for 10 slow seconds until his fist shattered on my chin. Bits of bone exploded through his skin, showing a great deal of strength, without the correlate durability. Only Essence cultivation then.

  Then I turned towards my Outer Elder. "Did I do this thing right, this time? I gave him face. Right here!" I pointed at my chin.

  Elder Song just sighed and faced palmed with a pained look. I must have done it wrong again.

  "The boy claimed he wanted to join the Tower, and his Elder was tasked with securing his life. But then he saw Miss Lin and became crazy..." my Elder explained in a cogent voice.

  That couldn't be true, or it was just a scheme. "Is this true?" I asked the floating guy.

  "..." the man just blinked, ignoring me.

  "You are dead!" the rude boy growled from the ground, clutching his hand.

  I scratched my cheek, making sure I was still alive. "Death is not so simple for cultivators. You can be dead, and then come back. I'd say it's more like a transition, or a long swim back from the Other Shore. Or you can cultivate Death Qi, and become a wraith, dead but still spouting crazy things." I continued with a teaching voice, as Miss Lin returned at my side.

  The Divine Cultivator frowned for a second, then teleported away. And left the crippled snot at my feet. I must have passed his test.

  "Heal the moron, then start him on body cultivation. Miss Lin can use the iron rod to temper his willpower." I ordered in a bored voice, then walked towards the newer outer disciples.

  In a minute, I had all 24 people bleeding on their Bagua boxes, leaving only one box in my inventory.

  This time, I kept the rewards for myself, including 5 more Godheads and 2 Divine Ascension pills, plus some odd things, including 3 more cat legs.

  "This Young Master didn't get a fortune box!" I heard a proud voice, while Miss Lin was tenderizing the boy with an iron rod.

  With a flick of my hand, I sent the last wooden box flying until it collided with his face, and his broken nose bled on the lid.

  Then I recalled the box into my hand and looked inside. Another Divine Peach Nectar.

  Smiling to myself, I shifted back inside the Tower, where Lin Fei crawled out of the Soul Array on all fours, but grinning happily with blood on his teeth. "34!" he proclaimed before the healing array started closing a hundred cuts and holes on his body.

  I just sat beside him, and waited for the healing to end. "You scored 34 kills because that's the limit of your ability. I scored 127 because the array has reached its limit. In the Sea of Devils, your ability would be average at best." I claimed in a disappointed voice.

  Lin Fei glanced at the score pillar, then growled something under his chin.

  I knew my words would hurt him, but demons grow from being hurt. He will thank me later. Then, I took out a box with a cat's leg inside and gave it to him. "The thing inside will protect you from Tribulation. Just choose wisely which time you want to use it. I wouldn't waste until Divine Manifestation or higher, but then I don't need it anyway. So I can give this precious thing to a weaker disciple." I said in a kinder tone.

  Lin Fei glanced inside the box, then stored it inside his own ring. "You can have my maids while I'm gone, Young Master. I'll try to find someone stronger as my Dao Companion."

  I smiled and patted his back with my Asura hand. "I'm glad you're thinking long term, Lin Fei. But strength is not what you think it is. The Tower can make anyone an Immortal, it just takes time. If you find someone, they will have to wait for you for a billion years. Maybe much longer. That kind of willpower is harder to find than strength." I advised him with a smile.

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  "When I return, I will smack that smile off your face, Young Master!" Lin Fei growled and jumped back inside the Soul Array.

  I just shrugged and flew back to my Alchemy Hall. My Saint pills still mostly failed, and those that did emerge were barely of low grade, but such is Alchemy. You have to fail a million times until you learn.

  Old Man Xialong was already cooking pills, mostly making Perfect Houtian pills for the outer disciples. Even just by himself, he was making enough pills to sustain a medium-size sect, considering the 1000 times differential. His Saint Realm cultivation and Saint-grade cauldron helped greatly with the pills as well. However, he hasn't made a single Perfect Xiantian pill yet.

  "When can I start trying Saint pills, Master Pef?" he asked me as I fired up my own cauldron.

  "When you can make Perfect Xiantian pills, of course. No point wasting precious herbs before then." I answered in a casual voice.

  "...Give me 50 years then." he grunted back, and kept working.

  I nodded, then opened the Peach Nectar vial and drank it all. The new Divine Sense filled my mind and heart, and sensing the heat and transformations inside the cauldron became child play.

  This truly was a precious gift, more than worth getting smacked in the face by a snotty Young Master, much too proud of his level 5 Houtian Realm.

  For the first time, the recipe and its guidance for a Qi Purification Saint pill made sense. It wasn't because I was stupid, but I simply didn't have the ability to understand the subtle changes inside the pill as it spun inside the cauldron. Obviously, the recipe was written by and for a Divine Cultivator. Or at least someone that had the Divine Sense.

  Such a damn cheat! I still lacked a few important components, like an Earth Fire or Divine Fire, or the willingness to waste Nether Water for a mere pill, but even so, the first pill emerged at medium grade, and after 6 more medium grades I even obtained a high grade Saint pill.

  Old Man Xialong had stopped making his pills and just stared at me in awe, like I was an Alchemy God walking the earth.

  I just glanced at him, then ate a medium pill to see what went wrong with my Reaction Body. "My fire is not hot enough." I complained after a minute.

  "Yes, of course. Everyone knows you need Divine Fire to produce hot flames. But even without that...you never failed once!" my Grandpa-in-law yelled in admiration.

  "So, you're saying I'm worth being your granddaughter's husband now?" I asked curious. The man wasn't happy with Feng being my wife. He told me that, many times too.

  The man stopped to think, then shook his head. "Not yet, Master Pef. I demand Perfect Saint pills before you get my approval."

  I sighed and nodded. "I'll try harder then." I answered in a humble voice.

  The old man snorted and returned to his cauldron, with a single sneaky glance at me.

  I was out of Saint herbs for today, so I just flew out of the Alchemy Hall, to find the new Divine recruits commiserate at each other beside the Soul Array, and sharing a jug of plum wine.

  "I wasted a strike to cut its wing, but damn Demon doesn't need wings to fly." King Ji explained, waving his hand.

  "You also can fly without wings. But their wings should help with speed and stability, just like they do for Spirit Beasts." King Shuang answered in a wise voice.

  I sat beside them and stole their jug to pour myself a cup of wine. "You also killed three Demons, Father-in-law?" I asked the latter.

  "Barely...if all Demons are this strong, then our service in the army will be rather short." the man said with a sad voice.

  Well, he wasn't wrong. Then again, he lacked a Godhead, since soul cultivation was quite neglected on this world.

  I took out two boxes with Godheads inside, then gave one to each of them. "Absorb these Godheads and learn how to use them. Soul combat is a bit easier after that."

  Both men opened their boxes and stare in surprise at me. "This is too much..." King Ji realized after a second.

  "Amelia and I also gained our Godheads from a box like this, and trained for longer in the array. You two are Divines, so you should reach at least 50 kills before you leave. Don't give my Tower a bad name by dying like weaklings in the Libra Army." I offered in a mild voice.

  I could see King Shuang clench his fist, so I could guess his thoughts. Being called a weakling by a mere Saint was quite belittling. Then King Ji slapped his shoulder. "Hah! You have a great son-in-law, old man! I wish I also had a daughter to marry off to him. It's kinda late to try for one now..." he exclaimed in a boisterous tone.

  "And you, King Ji. When your Origin Tribulation comes, what artifact are you going to upgrade with Heaven's blessing? Must be nice knowing you'll be safe anyway." I asked in a curious voice.

  The man stopped to think, realizing what an opportunity he had now. "Huh. Now that's a nice problem to have. But it should be my Golden Sword." he concluded and held his Divine Sword up.

  I nodded. Not a bad choice, and one that I also picked during my Saint Tribulation. "That's good. But don't snub the Heavens by upgrading a sword, without a Sword Heart. You can choose a sword, but only if your Dao Heart tells you so."

  As I walked away, the two men nodded at each other, then ran for the Sword arrays to train their sword skills some more.

  Hopefully, this would be enough. King Ji was loud and like to boast too much, but otherwise had a good heart, which was a rare thing in this world. King Shuang was lazy and cunning, but he had a great daughter as my wife. Possibly his greatest achivement in this life, and his greatest luck as well. With me and my Tower at his back, he had a good chance to survive now.

  As I sat at a table and took out some Spirit Feast bowls, Meadows jumped beside and offered her tails in my lap. Turns out, you don't need to tame a Spirit Beast, just make it feel at home.

  I placed a bowl of beef meat on the table for the big fox, and she slurped the contents with a satisfaced face. "I'm going to miss your cooked food the most, human." she muttered and licked her snout while I played with the fluffy tails.

  "Tails grow back, right?" I asked to make sure. I will miss my favorite tails.

  Meadows threw a hurt glance at me, then sighed. "I can't wait until I can grow fingers. Shadows are not the same." she complained while producing a pair of shadow hands with her Qi Essence.

  "Ask Grandpa to make you a pair of arm guards. With storage space inside. Then I can give you some bowls of food, to eat when you're lonely." I said with a far away voice.

  "...Who's lonely! Damn human." the fox growled, then ran towards Grandpa ghost who was constructing a Body Cultivation array using a pile of expensive materials from my Treasure Vault.

  My girls joined the table one by one, and picked a Spirit Feast bowl each, in order of their kill count on the stone pillar.

  I guess they finally decided the pecking order, and allowed Amelia the first rank.

  She nodded towards me, then took out a red dress like a flag. "I want to marry you, Pef Heavengaze."she proclaimed out loud.

  It was a bit of red flag, but I didn't mind. "Of course, my love. When you become Divine." I answered with a smile.

  Amelia stored her dress away, then sat in my lap. "You know I can kill you with a single kiss, right?" she warned me in a sweet voice.

  I leaned in and kissed her rosy lips. "Very tasty. Your kiss is worth dying for." I whispered gently, and her ears blushed to the tip.

  I felt something strange with my Divine Sense and turned, to find all my girls looking at me with hearts in their eyes. "My bed is not big enough for all of you..." I muttered in a shy voice.

  "We'll take turns" Mei explained in a horny voice, and the other girls nodded in agreement.

  Uh. Should I run?