My whole body hurt. The ache in my back from the iron rod, my torso from the little pellet explosions, my new leg where it joined at the hip, and the perpetual deep soreness of my ARM. Some of it I could get used to, but I wanted to be as close to the top of my form as possible for what was to come.
I underestimated the strength of the painkillers. My mind was a foggy mess. I went over my talking points with Stuart, my spiky locomotion plant, writing them down in short form so I could keep myself on track, occasionally high-fiving my plant when I thought of a clever phrase.
Things I CAN say:
Ask about location of @bitchfrog
Contract with Gravemind Syndicate
Shoemaker
Eros
Sango
Things I CAN'T say:
Anything about Love Hurts
ARM or Hollow Kings
Black Balloon Girl
@auroraloon
Sango was a late add to my list, but I figured it would be a great distraction if we started in on a topic I didn't want to discuss. Great idea, I told myself. Everyone loves kittens. I high-fived Stuart again and noticed bite marks on two of its leaves. Well, maybe Stuart didn't like kittens. It was obvious that Sango had decided to use Stuart as dental floss and see if it was edible. I made a note to move Stuart to a high enough location that little Sango couldn't reach. But first, I needed to talk to …
@horus popped up on the projector. I wasn't ready for that, and in my drugged-infused mind, I suddenly thought he was the Shoemaker.
"Ahhhhh!" I screamed at his face, and he flinched, putting his hands to his ears.
In my defense, the two did look a little similar. @horus was tall with a sharp nose. Okay, so he had a mustache and light blonde hair, but they could be cousins.
horus: "What was that for?"
kittyboy: "Sorry, I just … you just surprised me."
horus: "What's your status?"
I didn't recognize where he was sitting. I had gotten so used to @horus being in his boring room with his boring face. Where was the tiny plastic plant with circular leaves that was always hovering off to one side of his head in the background?
I looked at my sheet of paper. What had he just asked me?
kittyboy: "Where are you?"
horus: "My ship, the Talon. What's your status?"
Oh, that's right. They had to replace the Celestial Roamer after the starlab incident. That ship, Oblivion, had obliterated it. I made a boom gesture at @horus with a little explosion sound effect.
horus: "Have you found the location of the virus?"
Right to the point. That was nice. My brain could handle direct questions. I looked at my cheat sheet.
kittyboy: "No."
horus: "And? Status report?"
In a way, I was happy that I was on painkillers. I didn't have to overthink the situation. I didn't have to ask myself if I could trust @horus. I didn't have to ask myself if I should or shouldn't mention the Alliance Starmada's dealings with the Gravemind Syndicate. I had already decided I would. I could use it to get a read on @horus to see how much he knew. I just needed to look at my cheat sheet. I had made my decisions.
kittyboy: "I'm on Eros."
My mind flickered. I looked down at my cheat sheet again, going through the words I had rehearsed.
horus: "We know you're on Eros. It looks like you've run up quite a bill at a place called … Love Hurts. Please tell me you aren't messing around. I took a risk recommending you for Vanquisher."
kittyboy: "We aren't supposed to talk about Love Hurts."
I lifted my sheet of paper. I had a lot of paper since I had been pretending to be a dirt and paper merchant. I showed it to @horus.
kittyboy: "See? We can talk about these things here."
I ran my finger down the list, making sure @horus could clearly see the words. He looked down at his hands, sighing, and scratched his head.
horus: "Just tell me what's going on."
I had practiced this. I got this, I told myself. I played the words on a teleprompter and read them off.
kittyboy: "The Gravemind Syndicate wants to cut a deal with the Alliance Starmada. I sent you the details when I tried to contact you, but you were unavailable. Asshole. I have a quantum drive they say has the information we need. Clap your hands and make a cheerful gesture. I'd say that's a huge success. Make a sad face. But a huge failure. I have two crew missing. I need that information. Distract him with cuteness. Oh yeah, and I have a cat. He's really cute, and I think every ship should have a cat, except Wavepilots because that would be cruel. You know, ships that aren't supposed to explode. Good for crew morale."
The teleprompter stopped. I nodded to myself, satisfied. Nailed it!
I was sure @horus would have seen the information I sent him. He was that kind of person, organized, always prepared. Even so, he had to think through his words. I used the time to put my finger in front of his mustache and my hand in front of his hairline. He really did look like the Shoemaker.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.
And that made me panic.
What if he was the Shoemaker? What if he had cloned himself and was working with himself to sell delinquent aiways and Alliance Starmada prisoners? What was I doing trusting him?
horus: "You've uncovered dangerous information. You need to be careful. And so do I. I'm keeping the information within a tight circle. I talked to General @starrygirl. She's working on that problem. As soon as we can, you'll get that access code."
kittyboy: "Do you know where they took @bitchfrog?"
@horus's face became stoic, and I wondered if he knew, if he really knew, or if he had sold her to himself. If he had, maybe he would just give her back to preserve his cover. I studied his body language.
horus: "No, we do not."
He sounded sincere. He looked sincere. I still just wasn't sure, though.
kittyboy: "I'm going after her."
He raised his eyebrows at me.
horus: "Do you know where she is?"
Was he testing me? Was he nervous? Did he look nervous or was that concern on his face?
kittyboy: "No, but once we do, I'm going after her. I'm not asking for permission."
@horus shrugged.
horus: "As soon as your primary mission is unblocked, you WILL proceed to the location and find the source of the virus. Until such time, you are a Vanquisher. You have the freedom that provides to further the cause of the Alliance Starmada, but you must report your activities."
Stupid asshole was making reasonable demands in an unreasonable situation.
kittyboy: "Understood."
Fuck the Alliance Starmada. Even in my druggy brain I knew to lie to him and pretend like I would follow orders. Now, did I accidentally stick my tongue out at him and make phbttttt sounds? I dunno.
horus: "@kittyboy, I mean it. There will be serious consequences if you don't perform your primary mission. Serious."
kittyboy: "Deletion?"
horus: "Serious. Anything is possible."
I made a nah nah, nah nah, boo boo face at him.
kittyboy: "Understood."
@horus was extremely frustrated with me. I could tell. But this was his fault. If he hadn't put me up for Vanquisher duties, I'd be hanging out around the Pasiphae moons in my i35, napping and dying. Maybe I could call into some of the other Vanquishers for support. I had to believe I wasn't the only one who bent the rules a bit. I thought that was part of the job description.
horus: "Just follow the primary mission. Report your other activities. If you have even the smallest notion that what you are doing could jeopardize peace with the Solar Union, check with me. I'm on the Talon because we are headed to Ceres for peace talks with Union delegates. It's the first real shot at peace in 89 years."
kittyboy: "So the rumors are true? Peace talks?"
horus: "Yes. We're close to agreeing on a ceasefire ahead of the peace talks. Try not to fuck it up. If you think you might, contact me."
That was about as real as I had heard @horus before. I didn't think I had ever heard him curse before.
I heard a commotion from somewhere in The Pharaoh, raised voices, but I couldn't tell if they were angry or celebratory.
kittyboy: "Understood. I have to go."
The sound was getting louder. I ended the call with @horus prematurely. He would be upset for like a microsecond. I was pretty sure he didn't want to talk to me anymore anyway. For a second, I asked myself if I hung up on him or if he hung up on me. Didn't matter.
Some sort of chaos was going on, on my ship. Sango had already had his moment of zoomies running around the ship like a wild animal, so it had to be something else.
I ran out of my quarters, the painkillers making me feel like $1M qcoins, but my body was slow to respond. I bounced off the far wall of the hallway, but I didn't fall down. I staggered toward the noises, then remembered I'm great at skipping, so I skipped my way toward the commons area and the commotion.
As I skipped into the area, I found @astrowave pointing a rifle toward @zerogstar, who was standing with her hands up in the air in front of someone else, whom I couldn't see. I was unable to stop myself in time, so my final skip dumped me onto the couch. The couch slid a few paces from my impact. I masterfully flung my body into a restful position on the couch, smiling gleefully.
"That was awesome!" I said, slowly picking myself up off the couch, while the rest of the crew stared at me.
Then they all spoke at once. My muddled brain heard, going to shoot her, intruder, should I come back later, @bitchfrog, violation, let her on board, she was invited, and so I decided I would just yell until they shut up.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," I yelled, with my fingers in my ears and my eyes closed. When I stopped, they started talking again, so I yelled again. This time, when I was done screaming, I was met with silence.
I started with the obvious. "Gun down. No shooting on the ship unless we're being invaded. Remember I said I was recruiting a medic? That's our new medic."
Sure enough, behind @zerogstar was a blonde-haired woman, the spitting image of @stephascope and @ameliar8, but wearing dark brown pants and an iron gray sweater with a light pink blouse underneath.
"That's no doctor," @astrowave said.
"What makes you say that?" I asked, confused.
"Her bioscans are abnormal," @zerogstar interrupted. "But look!" She held out a datapad with a bunch of text and numbers that she thought was way more interesting than I did. She tapped it emphatically. "I found her! I found @bitchfrog!"
"Great work!" I ran over and gave @zerogstar a thunderous high five. That is, it would have been thunderous, but she didn't raise her hand, so I had to holler boom! and make crackling noises like I was living lightning. It was the thought that counted, and at least now I had an idea of what to be for Halloween.
"What are we doing here? Plot a course!" I commanded.
No time to waste. I tried to spring into action. We'd figure the rest out on the way. But @zerogstar and @astrowave were still standing there, looking at me.
"Let's go!" I shouted. Then I realized that I was the pilot, and @zerogstar was still getting familiar with the ship. "Both of you go! He can help you."
"What about that?" @astrowave pointed at our intruder.
"She's harmless. Trust me. I'll deal with it. Let's get @bitchfrog!"
The two of them ran out of the room to the bridge of The Pharaoh. We could finally leave Eros. We could finally go after @bitchfrog. Please be okay, I prayed to myself. I had made a promise. It was time to fulfill that promise and save her.
But first, I needed to find out why @astrowave was so upset by @ameliar8 joining us. She had her normal stern-looking face, but a slightly softer demeanor, especially now that it was just the two of us.
"I'm surprised you decided to join us, but I'm grateful. Thank you!" I reached out with a hand for her to shake, and she reluctantly shook it back.
"I'm still not so sure about this," she said.
I looked back toward where @astrowave and @zerogstar had run off. "Don't mind them. They're great actually. But why was he so upset? What is this about abnormal scans?"
She surprised me, walking past me and dropping to the couch, making herself at home, or just frustrated.
"I'm not @ameliar8. I'm @biclops." She frowned. "I hate that name."
I was confused. Were they triplets?
"Where's @ameliar8?" I asked.
"She's at Love Hurts, so is @stephascope. They both wanted to come, but they both wanted to stay."
I wasn't following. "So who are you?"
"I'm new. They made me. They combined both their identities and turned them into me. That's why my scans are abnormal."
My foggy brain caught up, and then I understood why @astrowave was upset. Personalities aren't supposed to be combined. You could fork yourself, store your old self away and start over again, but bringing two people together who had simultaneous but different lives was dangerous, unstable. In most parts of the solar system, it was banned.
"How do you feel?" I asked. I genuinely had no idea how to handle the situation.
"I'm sad," she said. "I'm new to this world, but old to this world, and my first experience was this." She gestured around the room. One of her eyes looked at me. The other eye pointed in the direction of the bridge.
I thought I had imagined it, thanks to the painkillers, but I shook my head and opened my eyes again. Yup. Her eyes pointed in two different directions. That was kind of … I hated to think it … creepy, but awesome at the same time.
"And they named me @biclops!" She added, frustrated, squeezing her hands into fists.
I was mindful not to stare or point at her eyes.
"I'll show you to your quarters," I said, extending a hand to help her off the couch. "We need you, and he'll be fine with it. That was @astrowave. He shouldn't have treated you like that. The other one is @zerogstar."
I lifted her easily off the couch. She still looked disturbed, but it would just take time and a better attitude from @astrowave. I wanted him to apologize, but I didn't want to force it. He needed to put humanity first, people first, instead of following the rules. I knew that would be hard for someone like @astrowave with a long military career in Thunder Ops, but I believed in his better side, the side of him that was so interested in @zerogstar's plants. I decided to trust that he would come around on his own, but I'd keep a close eye on things. I wanted @biclops to feel like a part of the crew, a part of the team, even if it was just temporary.
"You can always change your name," I said, as we walked toward the crew quarters. "Think about it. Eros isn't you. You are whoever you want to be, and we'll respect that."
And that was how I met the woman who would eventually become @galaxywitch.