I wasn’t really sure how I could describe the experience of flying through the sky on someone’s shoulder.

  It wasn’t at all like being on a plane or a helicopter.

  I think if I were to draw a comparison, it would be a bit like being on a rollercoaster?

  Terrifying, exhilarating, your blood pumping at full throttle through your body as the wind smashed against your face and the world around you flew by and disappeared before you could blink.

  After that first rush of terror fled me when Chang’e simply jumped away from the mountain, the ensuing burst of wind nearly popping my eardrums, I opened my eyes again, looking down upon the wondrous land below me from my position.

  Scattered autumn leaves gently fluttered across the bright green plains. The clear blue sky stretched all the way to the horizon. Little dots – ordinary people just living their lives – scattered across the roads and plains.

  It was a different kind of beauty compared to the one I saw from outside the window from Belle’s house.

  It was more alive; I was breathing the air of the people here, I was sharing the sunlight with the world around me, dancing leaves blown from the mountain top brushed and bristled across my skin as we soared through.

  I didn’t get to appreciate it for long though.

  Just as the fear left and amazement replaced it, we started to accelerate downwards again, the wind pulling on my chin and hair and dragging my heart along with it.

  The forest beneath us got closer and closer.

  I screamed and closed my eyes.

  I heard something reverberate through my bones and a massive thunderous clap echo around me, but no pain came.

  Instead, Chang’e just laughed.

  “Hahaha! Estelle, it’s so much fun, right!? Just flying through the forest, the wind in your hair, nature at your feet!?”

  I opened my eyes.

  We were in the sky again.

  Frightened, I tightened my grip around the freakishly strong woman’s body.

  “I-I think you should slOW DOWWW-”

  Luckily, I wasn’t trapped on that hellish ride for much longer. It only took maybe a minute to cross from the tree-covered Yrd’ll Mountains to the plains that bordered Arden.

  I was let down onto the ground rather gently, which was surprising given how reckless she was with carrying me.

  In the end, despite how frightening the whole thing was, and how much I saw my life flash before my eyes, I did come out unharmed, meaning I didn’t make an incorrect judgement about the type of person Chang’e was.

  I just made a small mistake when it came to judging just how inhumanly strong she was.

  Well, ‘small’ wasn’t quite the word that I should have been using.

  I was still operating under the assumption that people in this world were at least somewhat like humans from my world, but… well, I didn’t really know why I still held that assumption.

  Magic was real in this world.

  This woman didn’t even have human ears, for God’s sake! Why was I assuming she was bound by human limits?

  I shivered and fell onto the dirt, feeling numb after the adrenaline and terror passed.

  “Hahaha!” Chang’e just continued to laugh, “Oh, it’s so much fun getting my children to ride on my shoulders! It’s almost like I’m home with my own parents, dashing through the forest and stalking prey while we hunted!”

  Weren’t rabbits herbivores?

  No, wait, she was also a rabbit… fox… thing.

  The terrifying woman just propped me back on my feet and brushed off the loose dirt and leaves that were clinging to me, her movement and touch gentle and experienced.

  “Thank you for letting Auntie Chang’e carry you like that,” she giggled.

  Did I really get a choice in the first place?

  “My children haven’t let me do that with them in years,” she pouted, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes, “and when I complain about it to my husband, even he’s not on my side! Always telling me to be more gentle with the kids…”

  She sniffled.

  “I’m just sharing my love with them the same way my parents shared their love with me, showing them how I grew up!”

  What kind of childhood did this monster go through?

  I was beginning to understand why her children were so reluctant to let her play with them. It wasn’t just embarrassment, it turned out.

  I closed my eyes, and calmed my heart.

  Once the instinctual terror passed, all that remained of experience was fulfillment.

  I wasn’t that scared of Chang’e after that whole ordeal, to be honest. It was just a natural bodily response to the situation I was in. I knew in my mind and heart that she would never let harm come to me while I was in her arms, that I was fully safe in her loving arms.

  And when I forced my leaping heart down back my throat, and pushed past the natural fear, I did end up enjoying that experience.

  It was freeing, it was like all the weight of the world was lifted from my shoulders, all the struggles and turmoil of my mortal coil floating away as my bones hollowed out like a bird’s, letting me fly through the sky.

  It felt good, empowering even, to just be soaring past the beauty of nature, to just relish in the vast scope of nature’s beauty. It felt like…

  Well, it felt like I was travelling again, meeting kind strangers, seeing wondrous sights, eating good food.

  I guess, in the end, that experience wasn’t just guilt and pain. It wasn’t always just about running away, not having the heart to connect again with my parents. It wasn’t just about being endlessly lost, desperately, fruitlessly searching for anything out there that could give me meaning.

  In the end, looking back, distanced from the person I used to be, pondering upon the matter as someone else, as an outsider to that young man’s struggles…

  I think I just liked it. Travelling, being free from burden, all of it.

  Maybe one day, when my sister was grown up and was living her own life, I’d get to feel like that again.

  Against my will, I started to giggle.

  I couldn’t help it.

  Chang’e stared at me with wide eyes and an open mouth.

  I froze and quickly covered my mouth, trying to stop the sounds from further coming out, a blush creeping onto my cheeks.

  “Oh my god!” She squealed upon seeing my happy expression, reaching underneath my shoulders and picking me up, “You really are the best, Estelle! You’re like the daughter I always wish I had! I can’t believe someone finally appreciates what I do! Are you sure you don’t want to be Auntie Chang’e’s daughter?”

  I blushed even harder as she shook me around in excitement.

  “U-um, sorry, Auntie Chang’e, Moth-…” the word slipped from my tongue, “Belle’s a very important person to me. I won’t be anyone but her daughter.”

  Instead of the usual childish, ignorant pout I had come to quickly expect, she just laughed and showed me a genuine, fond smile, a hint of uncharacteristic maturity and maternity creeping through the veil of innocence.

  “How wonderful of you, dear, I’m glad that Belle finally has someone who she loves and can love her back.”

  She pat my head gently.

  But just as quickly as the odd moment of maturity came, it was replaced by her usual pout.

  “Why can’t my children be as appreciative as you!? They don’t even tell me they love me anymore, but I still tell them I love them every day!”

  She sighed dramatically, wiping a fake tear from her eye.

  “The only person who still whispers they love me is my husband, at night when we-”

  Okay, we needed to get a move on.

  “U-um, let’s just go into Arden already.”

  I tugged on her sleeve, nudging us towards the city’s gates.

  Chang’e immediately brightened on hearing my words.

  “Okay, sure thing! Have you ever been inside Arden before!?”

  “Um, no, I haven’t.”

  Her eyes glimmered even more brightly than before.

  “Wow, really!? Belle hasn’t taken you there yet!? I’m shocked! I would’ve thought it would be the first thing she did when she made you her daughter! I can’t believe I get to be the first to show it to you!”

  I blinked, looking around the city’s gates.

  “Is there something special about it?”

  Now that I was closer to it, I could see that there was indeed something strange happening around the city’s circular outer walls.

  Massive frames and skeletons of pillars and beams were lined up across the walls next to giant drilling rigs and construction sites.

  “Of course there is! Arden is a very special place for your mother, Belle! It’s a very, very important place for her research. You see, she has an agreement with the people here, letting her use the city itself as the prototype for her dream invention!”

  I yelped again as Chang’e scooped me up and propped me up onto her shoulders, letting me get a taller view of all the labour happening across the walls.

  “It’s a… um… what did Selenia call it again?” she frowned, tilting her head, “Oh, right! A perpetual motion machine! The Paradox Engine! Belle said it was a way to theoretically generate an infinite amount of magical energy. In exchange for letting her turn the city into its prototype, the city will get to become the staging ground for the very future of Manusyara, the first to benefit from its infinite power!”

  She just laughed.

  “I love that about Belle, always dreaming so distantly and brightly. It’s wonderful how much she yearns for such silly, impossible things. I’m glad she has someone like you to share that with, now!”

  I pursed my lips uncomfortably.

  The ‘Paradox Engine’. That was a familiar name.

  I remembered the look of absolute devastation on Belle’s face when she was told my existence negated its possibility.

  A small bit of guilt crept through me.

  Chang’e felt me stiffen on her shoulders.

  She blinked, and craned her head to look up at me.

  “Is something wrong, Estelle?”

  I forced a weak smile onto my face.

  “No, it’s nothing. It's a wonderful dream she has. I hope it comes true.”

  Still, though, I could take solace in the fact that the construction was still going.

  The fact that Belle hadn’t ordered it to stop meant that she was still trying.

  She hadn’t given up on fulfilling that dream of hers to build this ‘Paradox Engine’, despite whatever the revelation of my existence meant to her.

  I was glad.

  Even though I knew that she was the type of person to choose her family over the completion of her dreams any day – as her family was her dream itself – it brought me a small bit of comfort to know she still trudged on, even after all the setbacks she encountered in life, doing everything she could to bring that dream to life, even if it meant crushing the cruel reality of the world beneath her heel.

  It was that kind of strength that led me to accept the name she had given me, after all.

  I hoped one day, I would be able to help her accomplish it.

  I wasn’t sure how that would happen, but it would mean the world to me if I could undo whatever damage I did.

  Chang’e just giggled warmly, and hopped forwards cheerfully, marching us past the city gates and into its limits.

  “Oh, I wish my children cared about me as much. I don’t even know that when I get old, they’ll come visit me when I’m with my husband. I’m glad that you’ll be around for her eventually when that time comes, she of all people deserves that much.”

  I frowned a bit, letting myself rest on her shoulders, once again thinking of my previous parents.

  Being there for her was the least I could do for Belle.

  It wasn’t just about the guilt, about making up for never mustering the courage.

  She was important to me, and I wanted to show that to her.

  Chang’e sighed heavily, bouncing up and down lightly as she kept me on her shoulders, letting me see above the crowd.

  It was a nice mercy, to be honest, even though she didn’t know it.

  I didn’t have to be reminded of why I felt so uncomfortable in places like these. I was separated from the ground; I didn’t have to shove my way through the crowds, I wasn’t surrounded by that maddening drone of footfall, I didn’t have to get lost in the endless tide of faceless, apathetic strangers.

  I could just sit here, on top of her shoulders, in her care and protection, and just appreciate the world for what it was.

  It was safe and comfortable.

  I smiled, and gently rested myself against her head as she carried us through.

  I hoped I would be able to care for my sister in such a manner one day too. It would be nice to be like Chang’e, just as strong, just as carefree, able to bend the world to her whims to show those she loved how much they meant to her.

  Chang’e’s ears twitched in excitement.

  “There’s so much I have to show you in Arden! Oh, I can’t wait to show you everything! Look, I know a faster way through the city!”

  I blinked, looking around myself, trying to find the shortcut she was talking about.

  My previous scrupulousness from being a street rat had my eyes darting around the street, analyzing every nook and cranny they swept across, but no matter how much I tried, I just couldn’t find the ‘shortcut’ she was talking about.

  The crevices were all too narrow, and that aside, the bustling crowd was way too thick to even cross in the first place.

  …

  Wait, she wasn’t thinking about that, was she?

  I yelped again as I suddenly felt the world beneath me disappear, faced again with a bright view of the city walls and the sky beyond.

  I wobbled back and forth, swinging my arms wildly to catch my balance as we suddenly leapt into the sky.

  My hands instinctively grabbed onto Chang’e’s head.

  Her ears twitched lightly, brushing against my hands comfortingly.

  And like that, the fright left me as we touched down softly on the buildings’ rooftops, surrounded by strange stares as the crowd looked up at the conspicuous figure jumping across roofs.

  “Ah, there we go! Isn’t that much better? Look, Estelle, you can see the whole city with Auntie Chang’e from up here!”

  I smiled.

  It really was much better.

  When the buildings weren’t smothering you with their tall shadows, an orderly beauty revealed itself. What were once tall, terrifying walls that trapped you on the ground in an endless labyrinth became an intricately designed vision, streets and roads beautifully divided with consideration for the people of the city.

  It was clear how much love the people had for the city they lived in; the deliberate, smartly placed roads that were clean and very clearly recently paved contrasted against the mess of ancient, organically expanding tangles of small houses from deeper inside the city, which obviously had been around since the city’s beginnings as a small rural town on the frontiers of a developing kingdom.

  It was unlike any view I had ever seen, both in this life and my previous life.

  It wasn’t the cold, uncaring, winding, broken slums, it wasn’t the comfortable, lively suburban town centre, it wasn’t the distant, impersonal view from an airplane, and it wasn’t the forlorn, abandoned and historical beauty I had seen while travelling.

  “Come on, here we go, I know what to show you first!”

  She hoisted me up further onto her shoulders once again, and leapt across the buildings.

  But no rush of fear or nervous bundle of fright came to me this time.

  I just laughed.

  It wasn’t that bad, being treated as a child; being treated as Chang’e’s child.

  For the first time in this new life, I just lost myself.

  I let it all go behind me, and let that childish joy of exploration overtake me.

  It felt possible in that moment to live as ‘Estelle Symphonia’.

  Exploring the city was more exciting than I thought.

  It wasn’t just the matter of a new perspective or that I was being cared for by someone else; it truly was a novel experience.

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  There were things I had never seen before, people performing jobs that never existed in my previous life, all sorts of magical, unfamiliar, twisting architecture that boggled my mind, steeped in creativity and ambition.

  Suddenly, the strange sights I had seen while mapping out the city I first woke up started to make sense.

  “Auntie Chang’e, what are those people selling?”

  I pointed at the familiar sight I never understood; merchants carrying great bones and scales of ferocious monsters also tried their best to sell small crystals that were claimed to have magical qualities.

  “Oh, those? Those are magic cores! They’re found within the hearts of the monsters that high-ranking Adventurers slay, they have all sorts of interesting properties and can be used for a variety of things. All my lamps at home run on them!”

  “They sound expensive. Can anyone just afford them?”

  “Nope! They’re rare usually, but Arden’s recently become a hub of development and civilization because of Belle’s energy research! Your mother’s a very influential person, you know? You’re very lucky to have her as family.”

  There were giant, crystalline spires that twisted and spiraled upwards like a tree, suspending glowing crystals in their cores, floating mystically as smaller crystals spiraled around them.

  Small groups of neatly dressed workers hovered around them on the ground, watching them carefully as they flipped through books and worked on miscellaneous machinery surrounding them.

  “Auntie Chang’e, what are those?”

  “Those were your mother’s first public works! Magical energy generators she designed and built as a show of good faith for Arden! Don’t ask me for the details though. She and Selenia always confuse me with their mumbo jumbo.”

  Over in Arden’s own Adventurer’s Guild, there was a massive complex of stadiums and obstacle courses, filled with raucous cheers and flashing lights; something that was completely missing from the last one I saw.

  “What’s going on over there? Why are people cheering?”

  “Oh, that’s the seasonal Registration and Evaluation! There’s a bunch of ways to rank up as an adventurer, but the most popular way is to take the Evaluation. It’s a bunch of physical tests and challenges to determine your strength and capabilities.”

  “It sounds dangerous and nerve-wracking, why are people allowed to watch them?”

  “Haha, maybe to you, but adventurers are the kind of people who love the crowd! They love the cheers and excitement, they love the danger and proving themselves as the next hero of this generation! And the Guild has to make money from it somehow, right? Might as well accept sponsors and spectators, it’s a good opportunity for everyone! Rising Adventuring Companies get to advertise their services and capabilities, sponsors get to look for promising stars to contract with, everyone has a good time!”

  “Can we go watch?”

  “Sure thing!”

  “Um, excuse me, ma’am, admission isn’t free, you’ll need a ticke- hey, wait, excuse me, ma’am! Please, you have to- ugh… Security!”

  “L-Lady Ch-Chang’e!? T-the captain of the Black Moon Expedition!?”

  “Please, don’t call me Captain, haha… that’s too much for me, really, I’m just a loving mother, wife and auntie.”

  “W-we’re so sorry for the trouble!”

  I watched on in awe as competitors faced off against one another in combat, my expectations of what fighting looked like in this world completely shattered.

  There wasn’t the scrambling, desperate and brutal fisticuffs of boxing, where the combatants were constantly restrained by the cold reality of their dwindling stamina and human limits.

  It was unlike anything I had ever seen; flashy, superhuman, magical, like a child’s fantasy of playing the hero.

  I had come to realise magic existed in this world, and that clearly the supernatural and superhuman were real, given Chang’e’s terrifying strength, but it didn’t settle in until then what exactly that meant.

  I watched swordsmen cut through walls from impossible distances; the flickering of their blades sending shockwaves of air that sliced through metal.

  I watched towering giants stomp the earth beneath them and break it in half, quaking the earth and sending their opponent tumbling beneath the arena, only to be met by the opposing mage creating a tunnel of wind beneath themselves, sending them soaring back into the sky for a miraculous recovery.

  Ornately armoured individuals summoned rays of light to bless their armor and weapons, smiting their foes with heavenly wrath. Vines and roots burst forth from the opponent’s side from the desolate soil, as the witch took advantage of her opponent’s own light as a catalyst for her magic, strangling and crushing the armored paladin until her opponent fell unconscious.

  After the battle, robed, priestly individuals rushed out onto the stage, raising their staves as light showered around them, restoring both combatants to their prime condition.

  I gasped as a wizard lobbed an enormous fireball at a defenseless opponent, only for them to call a small gust of wind that flipped their grimoire to the perfect page, allowing them to defend themselves with a giant wall of mud that blocked the flaming orb.

  It couldn’t last forever though, I was still in the body of a child in the end, and I didn’t have infinite energy.

  As the event ended for the day, shortly after the sun started to fall from its zenith in the sky, my stomach started to grumble.

  My cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

  “O-oh, sorry, Auntie Chang’e.”

  She just giggled.

  “Oh, no, that’s alright. A child always has to eat more! That’s the only way they’ll grow up healthily!”

  I chuckled. She sounded just like my previous mother.

  She hopped back onto the roofs, humming as we searched for a place to eat and rest.

  Delicious smokes started to drift through the air as we crossed an invisible barrier in the city’s districts.

  My eyes locked onto a particular street stall, small skewers of browning meat flipping over an open charcoal flame.

  Voluptuous chunks of bright red lamb were glistening with marinade and speckled with crimson flecks of spices and earthy tones of herbs.

  Thick blobs of fat bubbled and sizzled, their juices sputtering onto the coals beneath, the flames greedily licking the juice and roaring into life, desperate to consume more.

  White fat rendered into golden brown jelly, and the singing meat took on a soft, appetizing char.

  Chang’e noticed my enraptured stare, and followed where I was looking.

  “Oh, my nose wasn’t tricking me! I can’t believe that made it all the way across the ocean, across Tenmai and its now in Arden… Aiya~ food really does travel faster than people.”

  She marched up to the stand and handed over a fistful of coins, taking around fifteen skewers, stuffed to the brim with healthy amounts of meats and vegetables.

  I blinked and frowned.

  “Aren’t rabbits herbivores? Don’t they like carrots or something?”

  Chang’e stiffened as she hopped back on the roofs in search for a place to sit and rest, shooting me a small, cute, offended glare.

  “That’s very presumptuous, Estelle. It’s very offensive in today’s day and age to stereotype rabbit-people like that.”

  She then proceeded to squirm and blush in a very embarrassing manner.

  “The only carrot that I love to eat is my husband’s~”

  Christ.

  I grimaced.

  Did this woman ever think about anything other than her husband?

  …

  Well, I wasn’t one to speak, given how Belle had described me as ‘sister-brain’, and Luna’s current frustration with me.

  I sighed, taking a skewer to distract myself.

  Chang’e sat us down on a small rooftop overlooking a luscious green park, decorated with shining stone statues and carvings of what were presumably protective creatures of some sort of religious significance.

  I looked down, smiling at the sight of gathering families. Children played together, running around and tripping in the grass, scraping their knees and dirtying themselves. A gaggle of mothers watched from the sides, laughing as they commiserated about the difficulties of raising a child and relished in the joys, before being disrupted by the tears of their children.

  Maybe one day that could be us. Belle, Luna and I just sitting together, laughing, putting everything behind us and just being happy to be together.

  I scarfed down the skewer in my hands, before reaching towards the bag held in Chang’e’s hand to take another.

  I paused, looking at the woman happily munching away on the lamb skewers as I thought about my troubles.

  Maybe she could help me?

  She seemed to have ‘husband-brain’ and ‘mother-brain’, as Belle would have put it, so maybe as someone with ‘sister-brain’, my troubles weren’t unfamiliar to her.

  “Hey, Auntie Chang’e…”

  “Hm?”

  “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Go ahead!”

  “Does your husband ever get mad at you because of how much you love him?”

  Chang’e just frowned in confusion.

  “What do you mean?”

  My cheeks slowly reddened as I got flustered.

  “W-well, my sister… s-she’s angry at me recently. She thinks I spend too much time worrying about her, and is mad that I ignore what I’m feeling myself, along with whatever is happening to me. Before Belle found us, we were always starving, so I always gave her more food than me. She was small and weak, so I didn’t let her hurt her hands working with me… Things like that… have you ever felt like that, o-or have people be worried about you like that? I-I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, I-I just love her, that’s all…”

  Chang’e frowned and looked away, bringing an empty skewer to her lip in consideration.

  “Hmm… let’s see, how do I talk about this with a child…”

  She snapped her fingers, coming to a realisation, before quickly taking another skewer and tearing all the meat off of it in one go.

  “Oh! You’ve read the legends of Calybcor and the Knights Templar, right!? Every child loves them and dreams about becoming one in the future. Some adventurers still swear Oaths when they register!”

  “Yes?” I nodded warily, not exactly sure where this was heading.

  “Haha, they’re very cute, aren’t they, Oaths~ it’s romantic, isn’t it? Swearing your way of life to a singular pursuit, transforming that conviction into power to defend Manusyara… ah, how sweet~ it reminds me of my wedding! I swore one of those Oaths to my husband!”

  I frowned.

  “Ah, yes, that reminds me, do you remember the Orders of Delusion?” she asked.

  “I do. Those were Avowed and Burden, right? I remember reading that they were considered forsaken and outcasts, though… the other Orders didn’t seem to think that highly of them. My sister kept asking me why, but I couldn’t answer her. I don’t know what was wrong with those Oaths.”

  Chang’e nodded rapidly, furiously furrowing her brow.

  “Right, it’s strange, isn’t it? I don’t get why everyone makes fun of them either! They’re very beautiful promises to make! That’s why I made the Oath of the Avowed to my husband when we were at the altar!”

  She laughed deliriously, holding her glimmering ring to the sky, appraising it as it basked in the sun’s light.

  Then she brought her other hand up, smiling wistfully as she curled her hands around the distant image of the moon.

  “Forsake everything, receive nothing. Without reward, without hope. All is vanity, but this idiot is blind, and their love will be everlasting. A beautiful sentiment, no? The same goes for Burden, do you remember those words?”

  I remembered the phrases uttered in Anterius’ memoir, each spoken by a legendary figure, the first of the Knights Templar and the founders of each Order, accompanied by a creed each leader used to usher and rally their troops.

  My sister always showed fondness for the Order of Truth and its founder.

  ‘Something unknown always lingers in the dark shadows of the world, hungry to consume all before its mystery dies, but I shall be the one to devour it first.’

  His creed was rather strange, a word of warning to those who followed in his path, rather than words of inspiration and confidence.

  ‘Forbidden knowledge will make you hungry, but satiate no one.’

  I didn’t put much stock on the fictional Orders of knights, mostly just enjoying the time I spent reading with my sister and playing with her as she imagined her own adventures as a witch of Calybcor, but if I had to say, if I were to choose which one of the twelve Orders resonated with me the most, it would definitely be that of Burden.

  Perhaps that was why I was also confused as to why they were so estranged from their fellow Orders, only finding company with those of Avowed.

  Their Oath seemed so fitting and beautiful to me, as the Avowed did to Chang’e.

  I closed my eyes and sighed.

  “The world’s cruel and lonely tide is naught but sanity. If that means kindness is madness, then the mad riptide I will be.”

  It was an oath taken in opposition to the cold, unrelenting cruelty of the world, as was explained by their creed.

  ‘Sanity is reason, reason is procedure, procedure is inevitability, inevitability is the end.’

  It was a beautiful thing, I think, to swear to take up arms against the world itself, even if such a thing was madness to others. If it was to protect my sister’s happiness, I would swear such a thing too.

  I think I did, without knowing it, before I ever knew what an Order was, on the very first night Luna called me ‘Sister’.

  I swore an oath – just an ‘oath’, not a capital O Oath – to protect her from everything, no matter what it might have cost me, even if it was my life or sanity.

  Chang’e frowned, almost tearing up pitifully.

  “Right, isn’t it so beautiful?” She sniffled, wiping away a fake tear, “Swearing yourself to kindness or love, either against the world’s metronome or through all other pain, what’s wrong with that!? Are the other Orders so above something as worldly as love!?”

  She pouted and whined, waving around empty skewers and she chomped through more lamb with a reddening face.

  “What’s so wrong about loving another!? How is it that much different from the Guardian Orders, like Wayfare or Haven!? They’re just big meanies who find people like us weird! I don’t think any of them are weird! There’s nothing wrong with the Knowledge Orders, is there!? Selenia’s dream to map out the stars is beautiful, and so is Belle’s to reach them! I can love them all the same, why can’t they do it for us? So what if at the centre of my world isn’t a thing, just a person, what difference does it make!?”

  She sighed, calming down from her tantrum and smiling gently at me.

  “They should have all been friends, right? They all swore Oaths to protect or seek something, fighting shoulder-to-shoulder in battle against the Seven Legions, just instead of something like ‘knowledge’, the ‘future’, ‘peace’, ‘goodness’ or ‘enlightenment’, they just fought to protect the madness of ‘love’ and ‘kindness’. But at the end of the day, they were all just as valid as each other, no? The Orders were not any more or less important than each other, all equally important in fighting the Seven Legions…”

  She sighed, bemoaning the old stories along with the way people treated her.

  “It’s the same with everyone on the Expedition, and your sister as well probably. They just can’t comprehend people like us, who dream of nothing but them, but is dreaming of their safety and happiness any more silly than Belle reaching for the stars? Is it no less beautiful or worthwhile? Does everyone need some great ambition that will change the course of Manusyara’s history? I think it’s enough if I die next to my husband as the happiest woman alive, spending my time trying to make him the happiest man alive.”

  She flicked my head fondly, like Belle did.

  Except Chang’e’s really hurt. She was really bad at controlling her strength.

  Maybe this woman was where she picked that habit up from?

  Or was it the other way around?

  I probably wouldn’t get to find out.

  “It doesn’t matter whether or not you dream of something else, Estelle,” she smiled, ruffling my hair like I did with my sister.

  “All that matters is that your dream, your love, is true. The most important thing about the Oaths of the Avowed and Burden, is that they don’t fight because of the pain they go through, because of everything the Avowed must forsake, or because of the madness that the Burden must invite, they do it in spite of them, because their love is worth it all in the end. Which is it to you, Estelle? Do you love your sister because of the pain, or do you love her in spite of it?”

  The question gave me genuine pause.

  Did I really love my sister?

  Or was it just a way to run away and distract myself, like everything always circled back to in the end?

  Was it just out of guilt for all the mistakes of my past life? Because I didn’t want to deal with the pain of being lost and the empty results of my search for meaning?

  Chang’e looked at my melancholic face and gasped, tearing up on the spot.

  “Oh no! Estelle! Auntie Chang’e is so sorry! She didn’t mean to make you sad!”

  She threw the empty paper bag of skewers aside and took me into her arms.

  I blinked, confused.

  “No, Auntie Chang’e can fix this! She can make you happy again! Look, it’s Arden! Let’s go see more of it!”

  “H-huh? W-wait, Auntie Chang’e, w-waaAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-”

  Well…

  If nothing else, her methods for distracting people were certainly effective.

  The sun started to set behind us.

  A massive cloud of dirt and dust kicked up around us as we landed back on the Yrd’ll Mountains.

  I coughed, some of the dust getting into my eyes and mouth.

  Chang’e let me down in front of Belle’s half-destroyed home gently, patting off the dust from the explosion I had caused.

  “And here we are, back home just in time for your mother to not get mad at me!”

  She posed proudly in front of the home she had just destroyed earlier that day.

  A loose piece of timber chose that moment to awkwardly fall from its precarious position, rattling around in front of us to spite her.

  I smiled softly, a bit more used to the woman’s antics after spending a whole day with her.

  “Thank you for spending your time with me, Auntie Chang’e… I’m flattered you chose me instead of your children.”

  “Hahaha~” Chang’e just chimed with laughter, “oh, it’s nothing. Any child of any of my crewmates is just as good as a child of mine! Belle’s my sister, in the end!”

  I could almost hear Belle’s groan of annoyance and denial from here.

  “Bye bye now, Estelle~” Chang’e waved me off as she hopped off to the east, her voice disappearing into the distance.

  I smiled.

  She was a strange woman. Her love was certainly extremely overbearing, overwhelmingly physical, and definitely a bit crazy, but I think I resonated a lot with her in the end. Her words were certainly very helpful, and her presence as a caring figure in my life felt incredibly natural, like she was an actual auntie who was a sister with my previous mother.

  “I need to get going now~ My husband’s coming home tonight, and he’s preparing a delicious carrot cream pie~”

  I-…

  Christ.

  She should really work on her parting words, though.

  That was just… disgusting.

  I sighed, grimacing at her parting words.

  Well… the front door was still intact, kind of.

  I knocked on it loudly, then without waiting, I opened it and stepped through.

  “Hello? Luna, M-Mo…” I gulped, “I’m home!”

  My voice echoed through the small manor.

  I stepped across the half-destroyed planks carefully, minding my step so as to not prick myself with splinters.

  “Over here, Estelle!”

  That was Belles’ voice, and it came from… the lounge and living room? Not the workshop?

  It wasn’t time for dinner yet, so I wondered what she was doing just hanging out around the house at this time.

  Before long, I walked into the living room, which was luckily far from the point of Chang’e’s collision, leaving it fully intact.

  Belle sat on the couch, surrounded by a sloppy pile of books, Luna asleep on her lap.

  She smiled softly, running her fingers through Luna’s messy hair as she fidgeted in her nap.

  My sister’s body was covered with the outer robe that Belle normally wore, leaving the witch’s scandalous dress underneath uncovered.

  Belle looked up at me and greeted me warmly.

  “Welcome home, Estelle,” she whispered quietly, doing her best to not disrupt her newfound daughter’s slumber.

  She scanned my body up and down.

  “You’re surprisingly clean, bit of dust, but… well, that’s a lot cleaner than I’ve ever gotten out with when it comes to spending time with Chang’e,” she chuckled faintly, “well, it wasn’t like I expected her to hurt you, she wouldn’t do that, just… well, I thought you’d be more scarred, traumatised or scared.”

  I giggled quietly.

  “She’s a nice lady, really. She’s not as bad as you made her sound.”

  Belle just raised an eyebrow in amusement.

  “You might be the first person aside from her husband to ever survive a day with her without being traumatised. You sure are a strange kid, aren’t you?”

  My gaze slowly fell from Belle to Luna.

  “What happened to her?”

  Belle’s lips continued to twitch upwards.

  “She didn’t find out you went with her until lunch. She wouldn’t stop freaking out afterwards, crying, being worried, getting scared… had to help her calm down, tell her it was okay, play with her, distract her, you know, the usual.”

  I slowly crept up to the pair on the couch.

  “You should spend time with her more than just after dinner, maybe even take some time out of your usual research, talk to her in the morning or afternoon. It would mean the world to her, really. She really, really looks up to you.”

  Belle just chuckled.

  “I-… I know, kid. I-… I’ll try. This… this being a ‘mother’ thing… it’s all new to me… never got to properly do it the first time around, but I’ll try. Really, I’m going to try my absolute hardest to be the best mother I can.”

  Her warm, golden eyes creased fondly as she looked back at me.

  “And that goes for you too, Estelle. I just… I’ll need to get my shit together a bit in the lab first.”

  “I’m sure you’ll do well, you’re a nice person. I went down to Arden, Chang’e showed me everything you did for the city.”

  “Did she now?” Belle chuckled again, causing Luna to stir a little bit, “Ah, you saw all that, did you? That’s a bit embarrassing, a lot of those designs are outdated, was hoping I could bring you down after I updated some of the generators.”

  She rolled her eyes in jest, blushing as she tried to find any way to deflect from my words.

  It seemed like she was really bad when it came to taking compliments.

  “I saw that people were still working on digging the outer tunnel for the ‘Paradox Engine’ thing… you didn’t tell them to stop?”

  Belle just smiled wryly.

  “I-… I don’t know that I’m ready to just give up on it yet. There might still be a way forward, will just take a bit to work out… worst that comes out of it is I pay for the mess and cancellation out of my own pocket, I can handle that fine.”

  “I hope everything goes well for you.”

  “…Thanks.”

  Luna groaned cutely as she woke up.

  “M-Mother?” she mumbled as she rubbed her eyes sleepily, “Is Sister back yet?”

  Belle just grinned, and nudged her head in my direction.

  Luna slowly turned and faced me.

  Her eyes widened as her arms fell slack besides her.

  She quickly scrambled up off the couch, stepping forwards.

  “S-Sister! Y-you’re okay!”

  She smiled brightly, stepping towards me before flinching.

  She recoiled lightly, retracting her nervous fingers as she looked down, hesitating to cross an invisible line.

  “T-that strange woman, s-she didn’t do anything to you, d-did she? D-didn’t hex you or curse you or anything… r-right?”

  I smiled gently.

  It looked like she was still struggling with the argument we had, still trying to draw some distance between the two of us out of care for me.

  I recalled Chang’e’s words on the matter.

  Maybe at one point, it was just because of the guilt. Maybe at one point, it was just because I was desperate to fulfil that fantasy I never got to live out with my little sister. Maybe back when we were still stuck in that shitty, decrepit house, the only thought that crossed my mind was making up for throwing away my parent’s loving care they showed by in turn making sure my new sister was always fed, just like they had done for me, in penitence for the fact I would never make it to their house for hot pot again.

  But we were a long time gone from those days.

  I didn’t need to worry about that anymore.

  I could just live, free from that guilt, free from the burden of those memories, free from the longing and the feeling of being lost.

  At the end of it all, I was sure.

  I giggled at Luna’s nervous expression and childish questions.

  I stepped across the invisible barrier she put up and just pulled her into my arms, hugging her.

  “I love you, Luna,” I whispered as I cradled her.

  “S-Sister!?” She panicked and flustered.

  “I mean it, Luna, so you don’t have to worry about me, okay? It doesn’t hurt, I’m not in pain, I’m not lonely. I just love you, I really mean it. Thank you for worrying about me, it means a lot to me, but I’m fine.”

  “S-Sister…” Luna started to sniffle.

  I felt her arms tighten around me.

  I really did love her.

  And I wasn’t saying that because I was carrying the burden of that little boy who never got to meet his little sister, I wasn’t saying it to make it up to my previous mother and father.

  I was saying that because I was just ‘Estelle’, and that was just who I was.

  I was Luna’s sister, and I would be Belle’s daughter.

  She would try hard for us, so I would try hard for them, too.

  Living as Estelle Symphonia became a little easier that day.