If there was ever a time to be angry at the world, it would be now.

  "The past doesn't affect the now." That is the lie I want to tell myself, but I know that isn't true.

  I want to say that what I am feeling now isn't because of my past... but it is.

  The truth of my current reality is that I don't want to live in an enclosed, tight space for a month with my childhood friends.

  I know that they would never bring me any physical harm— emotionally, perhaps, but never physical.

  Fortunately, a letter arrived 3 days ago from the Palace. Her Majesty wants to welcome me back home after so many years abroad.

  I am not particularly excited to see her, but it delays the inevitable. If only for a few hours.

  Her Majesty is one of the other reasons I was sent away to that hellhole...

  Her summons allows me to stay out of that hour for a few more hours, and that's the least she can do.

  From my family estate, it's a 4-hour carriage ride with no stops. Having no stops is almost impossible if you aren't actively trying to kill the horse pulling you to the capital. It has been done before, though... I have yet to try, maybe one day I will.

  After I leave the Palace, it'll take another 7 hours to reach the Pack House.

  If Her Majesty hadn't summoned me, the trip from the estate would've only been 3 hours. But now I've added an unnecessary detour.

  Sitting in a carriage all alone in silence isn't ideal. I hate it. It makes my mind wander off to places I'd rather avoid.

  Being alone in silence isn't what it used to be.

  Ever since I got back, this has been one of the few moments I have had all to myself. I don't have to act like I'm fine at home anymore. Always smiling when you don't mean it is exhausting.

  I wonder how they did for so long? If they pretended for so long, does it eventually become real to them? Will my new reality become real to me? Do I have to smile and nod like nothing has changed?

  Kitayana pretends to be okay... but when she came to find me the other night, she looked so exhausted.

  It hurts to see her like that.

  It hurts to know that she hates herself for something that she can't control.

  Lilas...is in a similar boat to Kitayana, but somehow it doesn't feel the same...

  Something feels off.

  That whole night felt off.

  I only realized after Kitayana came to talk to me...Lilas set the whole thing up.

  He wanted me to find them.

  Coward.

  He could've told me his truth; there wasn't a need to out Kitayana like that.

  Kitayana didn't want me — or anyone one to know.

  What he did wasn't right.

  But why? What good reason did he have to hurt her like that?

  Lilas never does anything without a reason.

  Did he think this was the best way to tell me?

  I wish...

  The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

  I wish a lot of things but truly which I knew what was going through his head.

  I used to think I knew his thoughts inside and out, but now...I feel like he's a total stranger.

  Pulling open the carriage curtain, I saw the Palace in view. The gates come closer.

  The security checkpoint looks the same.

  Despite being childhood friends with the crown prince, I've only been to the Palace a handful of times, and I can count those times on one hand. Lilas, meet Kitayana and I at our homes or at the royal villa.

  The last time I was here... was on Lilas's 10th birthday. The day our friendship changed, and I didn't realize it.

  All this time, they both lived in a web of lies they spun, and I was caught in the middle without a sense of it.

  I should've known something was different.

  Something was wrong.

  But I didn't.

  Looking back at it now... after Lilas awakened, he spent the next day locked in his room, and the only person he would let see him was Kitayana...he put a barrier spell around his room.

  If anyone tried to touch it, it would shock them, but if anyone tried to destroy it, Lilas would feel the pain.

  Knowing that her Majesty couldn't do anything without hurting Lilas.

  That whole incident, I forgot about it until now. I think it took about 2 weeks before he put the barrier down. He cast a spell on Kitayana so she could go in and out as she pleased. At the time, I thought that Lilas didn't want to be friends anymore when he didn't do the same for me.

  Why her and not me?

  Did I do something wrong?

  Is he mad at me?

  Did I freak him out...with what I said?

  Did he hate hearing me say "I love you"?

  I never found out the answer to that...and I haven't said those words to anyone since.

  After the 2 weeks of his isolation, he came out like nothing had happened, and I never got the chance to ask him if I did anything wrong. I didn't want to try asking him because I didn't want to push him away again... soon after that incident, I forgot about it.

  This place truly brings back bad memories.

  Your Majesty, I truly hope you have something good to say.

  Sighing, the carriage came to a stop, and I pushed the carriage door open.

  "My lord!" One of the guards yelled out.

  "I'll walk from here."

  "My lord, are you sure that's a wise idea? Her Majesty is waiting." He said, flipping through some pages of papers in his hand.

  "I'll be fine, Her Majesty wouldn't mind. It's been a long time since I've been to the Palace after all." I walked away and made my way up the hill.

  Surely, this meeting has nothing but good news waiting for me.

  As I hiked my way to the Palace. I decided on what I needed to do.

  When I arrived at the Palace, her Majesty was no longer waiting for my arrival; instead, she was meeting other lords and ladies.

  One of the royal servants directed me to the sitting room to wait for her Majesty.

  Typing my fingers on my knee. I lean back against the chair.

  The thing is...even with my little hike, I wasn't late. I arrived at the time I was supposed to.

  As I taped away, minutes turned into hours.

  "Ahem, Her Majesty is ready to see you, my lord."

  I look up from the spot I was dazedly staring at.

  "Lead the way."

  I was led through a maze of corridors until I was in front of the throne room.

  "Ahem! Lord Aalackai of House Klemen."

  The doors opened, and I walked into the throne room.

  Her Majesty sat at the end of the room, high on her golden throne.

  I walked closer to the throne and bowed.

  "Aalackai, I'm glad to see you after so many years."

  "Likewise, your Majesty."

  "It's unfortunate that we have to meet so late in the day. Raise your head."

  As I did, I looked into her sun-yellow eyes.

  Something that should look warm and kind glazed at me so coldly.

  Her long, wavy hair cascaded down her back.

  Her gown was embroidered with light green jews that matched her emerald green dress.

  "Aalackai, as my son's former playdate, I am sure you now understand the implications of that position." She paused for a second, waiting for a response.

  Implications..?

  "As you manifested as an Alpha and so has my son. You are no longer a viable marriage candidate."

  First off, your son isn't an Alpha...but can't say that here or to her face, and second of all, I was a marriage candidate for Lilas this whole time?

  "The royal family has decided to move forward with Kitayana in your stead. Since she's a woman and an alpha, she is the perfect candidate. "

  "I see...if I manifested as omega, would the results be the same?" I couldn't help but ask her.

  Why her and not me? I've been asking that question since we were 10.

  "To be honest, it would be risky to allow an omega to enter the royal family. It would delude the bloodline."

  "I see. Then, having two alphas wed would result in a favorable outcome for the royal family?"

  "It's how we keep our bloodline pure with the Alpha essences."

  "Then I assume that's how my family also keeps the omega bloodline pure?"

  "Yes, however, to be frank, your case is a bit odd. Your father is beta, and your mother is omega. You're neither. Unless your father's side carries the Alpha bloodline, it would be nearly impossible for you to be one."

  "Your Majesty... at the academy, I learned it is dangerous for Alphas to keep the bloodline pure."

  "It is. The royal family allows some generations to marry outside the Alpha's bloodline. To ensure that a mad Alpha isn't running amok."

  "I see."

  "Well, it's getting late. I am sure you want to join your friends at the park grounds."

  "Thank you, your Majesty... for your enlightening words."

  "Aalackai, I hope moving forward you learn to be punctual. To be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late."

  "Yes, your Majesty..." I bowed as she left the throne room.

  Truly, what an enlightening conversation.