"This world is shit, y’all know that, and sometimes you just need to drown that shit right the fuck out! When I feel that urge, you know I reach for a bottle of Lost Angel’s finest brew, the one, the only, the undisputed heavyweight champion of the city – Wasted Gold from BMF!
"Our friends over at Bad Mother Fucker Brewing know that you need something special to take the edge off and they got brews for everyone – no matter what your Endurance is! For me their E30 hits like a Brawler but you know it goes down smooth like a Bard! So when you reach for a brew, make sure it says Bad Mother Fucker on the label!
"All right, back to the tunes while I find myself a drink!”
- DJ Demophon Kerner on K-RAD LA, April 1st, System Year 453
From outside the doorway, the room looked identical to the room where I’d first arrived in the Tutorial. Stepping inside, I was greeted by a bit of Essence and PAST’s overly-loud voice booming into my head.
[WELL DONE, GUNNER! YOU HAVE REACHED A SAFE ROOM, WHERE YOU WILL RECOVER MUCH FASTER THAN NORMAL! UNFORTUNATELY, MOST DUNGEONS DO NOT HAVE SAFE ROOMS, BUT THIS TUTORIAL DOES!
WHILE MONSTERS NATURALLY AVOID SAFE ROOMS, THEY CAN FOLLOW YOU INTO ONE IF YOU LEAD THEM THERE! SAFE ROOM BENEFITS DO NOT APPLY IN COMBAT, SO BE SURE TO FIGHT YOUR MONSTERS OUTSIDE! REMEMBER, – I MEAN, KEEP SAFE ROOMS SAFE!]
I thumbed the safety on as I looked around. There was one difference from the first room – in one corner sat a small pool of clear water. Before I could say anything else, a System message appeared.
Quest Update: Advanced Tutorial
Stage 1 Cleared
That bit of Essence must have been from making progress on my Quest. I started to ask PAST a question, but he interrupted.
[YOU HAVE GAINED THE REQUIRED AMOUNT OF EXPERIENCE TO BE PROMOTED TO LEVEL 1! CONGRATULATIONS, CITIZEN! WHEN YOU ARE READY TO PROCEED, SIMPLY SAY ‘LEVEL UP’!]
After taking a moment to recover my wits, I propped my gun up against the wall, then immediately went to the water and drank several handfuls before splashing some on my face. I really was thirsty, and I needed several more handfuls before I felt ready to begin my first Level up.
I sat down against the wall near my gun and said, “Level up.”
[WELCOME TO LEVEL 1! YOU GAIN 8 CLASS STAT POINTS AND 4 FREE POINTS PER LEVEL! AS A GUNNER, YOUR CLASS STAT INCREASES ARE:
+2 TO DEXTERITY AND PERCEPTION!
+1 TO STRENGTH, ENDURANCE, BARRIER, AND ABSORPTION!]
Before I could fully process that, PAST continued.
[YOU HAVE UNLOCKED THE ASPECT OF VERSATILITY! THE ASPECT OF VERSATILITY GIVES THE FOLLOWING BENEFITS:
+1 TO ALL NON-CLASS STATS PER LEVEL!
-3 TO FREE STATS PER LEVEL!
-20% MANA COST TO REMOVE A MODIFICATION!]
lot
“Um PAST, what is an Aspect?”
[I’M GLAD YOU ASKED, CITIZEN! AN ASPECT MODIFIES YOUR CLASS IN MANY INTERESTING WAYS! YOUR CHOICES IN THE FUTURE MAY STRENGTHEN OR WEAKEN YOUR ASPECT!]
“Is it… optional?”
[IT IS NOT!]
I thought back to PAST’s previous statements and did some mental math, definitely not using my fingers for any of it. I reasoned out that my Aspect was giving me two additional points per Level, but the downside was that I would only be able to assign one Stat point myself. The others would be spread around evenly.
I felt a wave of satisfaction at seeing all my Stats go up. And I was one step closer to Tier 1, just nine more to go. I frowned, looking around.
“Um PAST, I feel… basically the same. Did it work properly?”
[OF COURSE IT’S WORKING, CITIZEN, BECAUSE I AM SUBTLE AND GOOD AT MY JOB! YOUR LEVEL UP IS NOT COMPLETE UNTIL YOU ALLOCATE YOUR FREE POINTS! WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO THAT NOW?!]
Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.
I had to laugh at that. PAST might be many things, but was not one of them. I spent the next few minutes debating about where to put my lonely free point. Finally I gave in and asked for advice.
“What is the best place to put my free point?”
[THAT IS UP TO YOU, CITIZEN! EVERY ATTRIBUTE IS UNIQUELY AMAZING AND BENEFITS YOU IN DIFFERENT WAYS! HERE ARE SOME WORDS OF WISDOM ABOUT EACH ONE!
STRENGTH: IF BRUTE FORCE DOESN’T WORK, YOU’RE JUST NOT USING ENOUGH OF IT!
DEXTERITY: ACCURACY IS FINAL!
ENDURANCE: TAKES A BEATING AND – ]
“Stop! Shit, hasn’t anyone ever told you that if you have nothing useful to say, you should keep your mouth shut?”
[IN FACT, PEOPLE SAY THAT TO ME FREQUENTLY! IT IS NONSENSICAL ADVICE, AS I HAVE NO MOUTH!]
I groaned and rubbed my face with my hands. My brain hurt from all the shouting. I ran through the options in my head before deciding that I wanted more defenses. My baselayer was nice and comfy, but my barrier was what had done the most to protect me so far. And unlike health, it recharged quickly even outside of a safe room.
“PAST, put my free point into Barrier.”
[HERE WE GO CITIZEN! YOU MAY WISH TO REMAIN SEATED FOR THIS PART!]
I tensed as a blast of pure energy and pleasure exploded throughout my body. It felt like nothing I’d ever experienced before, like too much of a good thing all at once. I definitely did not moan, at all, as I curled up into a ball on the ground, trying futilely to hide from the overwhelming sensations. I gasped for breath as I lay there shivering for at least a few minutes. Finally I managed to sit up.
“PAST, what in the WASTES was that?!” I shouted into the air.
[LEVELING UP REWARDS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE WASTES, CITIZEN!]
“That… was a fucking ? Does that happen to everyone when they Level up?”
[LEVELING UP IS A , CITIZEN ZIMMERMAN! GOOD THINGS SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED! BY LEVELING UP YOU CAN BETTER SERVE THIS GREAT COUNTRY!]
I put my hands over my face and stifled a groan. Everyone knew about this, I was sure. They just didn’t want to talk about it in school because it was too… embarrassing.
“PAST, will this still happen after I reset the user settings?”
[INPUT NOT UNDERSTOOD! PLEASE REPHRASE YOUR QUESTION, CITIZEN!]
That idea derailed my train of thought for a moment as I had a flash of insight.
exactly
Speculating about ancient history wasn’t going to do me any good now, though. As I sat there, still recovering, my stomach growled. It felt like it was at least noon already, and I’d thrown up my breakfast what seemed like hours ago.
“PAST, is there any food here? And how many more stages are there?”
[THERE IS NO FOOD HERE, AND YOU MUST DISCOVER THE STAGES ON YOUR OWN!]
Well, there was always Create Bread. It was my regular breakfast, but I was lucky that since it was Tutorial Day I’d gotten a ‘real’ breakfast. Otherwise I’d have already used up my Create Bread for the day. I cast the Cantrip almost absentmindedly as I scooched over to sit by the water, catching the small loaf of oddly hard yet chewy, nearly tasteless bread as it materialized.
It didn’t totally fill me up, but I would be fine. It was unusual for me to feel full after a meal anyway. Sister Mercy certainly didn’t starve us, but she wasn’t overly generous with our food either.
I sat there, slowly eating my dry bread with occasional sips of water from the pool. Once I was finished, I peeled back my left sleeve, baring the wounds I’d taken earlier from the goblin. They were covered in dried blood, so I dipped my arm into the cool water and scrubbed it carefully with my right hand. It was painful, but not as bad as I'd expected.
There were three long, mostly straight cuts running along the top of my forearm. Fortunately, my baselayer had protected me enough that the goblin’s claws hadn’t gotten deep enough to hit anything important. As the dried blood came off in the water, I could see that the wounds had already scabbed over. They looked like they were a couple of days old instead of maybe an hour.
As I rolled the left sleeve of my baselayer back down, I looked at the gashes in it where the claws had cut through. I used Inspect and saw that the condition of my armor was ‘slightly damaged’. I channeled some mana into it and watched in fascination as the thick material seemed to flow back into its original state. Even the sand I’d gotten on myself fighting the scorp dropped off like it was suddenly repelled from my body, falling on the floor around me.
All things considered, I felt pretty clean after having washed my face and hands. Or at least, I was clean from the ankles up… I sighed and dipped my disgustingly sand and blood splattered feet into the chilly water and got to scrubbing. Fortunately, the water seemed to be flowing from somewhere as the gunk slowly swirled away. Finally done cleaning up, I checked my resources and saw that my health had ticked up by one. My stamina, barrier, and focus were full, and my mana was up to about three-quarters.
As I stood and stretched, I noticed that I felt a bit lighter on my feet and my balance felt different. More natural, somehow. PAST’s booming voice interrupted me before I got any further into investigating the changes from my increased Attributes.
[WELCOME BACK, CITIZEN, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE FIRST PART OF YOUR LEVEL UP REWARD! WOULD YOU LIKE THE SECOND PART NOW?!]
I immediately sat back down.
“Ummm, I don’t know, what is the second part?” I asked nervously. I did need more of the first part, thank you very much.
[EVERY LEVEL UP GRANTS YOU A SYSTEM CHEST!]
did did not
“Yes, give me my reward!” I said excitedly as I jumped back to my feet. With a muted flash of light, my first System chest appeared in the middle of the room. It was probably two feet wide, and a bit more than a foot deep and high. As I eagerly reached down to open it I noticed the number ‘1’ engraved in the wood on top of the chest.
The first of the several Easter eggs in this chapter comes with a clue. The original title of the song playing was going to be "Three Dogs Down", but it turned into "Three Empty Leashes" because it sounds better. Any ideas?
Also, just a preemptive FYI - the brute force quote is an Isaac Arthur Easter egg. I have never seen one of his videos and I first heard the quote back in around 2004, long before it became associated with him.