Laself wiped her eyes with her sleeve, talking about what she did barely helped at all! And after the panic in her system has disappeared, all that's left is the all consuming guilt currently tearing at her heart.

  "You're okay, you didn't do anything wrong."

  She looked up and met the eyes of her mother-in-law, her body did an involuntary shudder followed by a gag. Nothing wrong? She could see the men she burned down screaming for help in her mind! They wouldn't leave her alone!

  "Here."

  With shaking hands, Laself took the ceramic cup from Atterson. A single sip made her face morph in disgust, she wanted to spit it out, when she was about to put the cup away, a hand stopped her.

  "Drink all of it."

  Laself— reluctantly. — did so and the experience was, as she can mildly put it, incredibly painful. The bitterness stuck to her tongue minutes after she's done drinking, and her throat felt like it had ants crawling all over it.

  "Feeling better?" There was no judgement to her voice, just maternal affection. "Can you think properly now?"

  "Y-yes, I can."

  Was that what her in-law wanted? To restart her thoughts by making her drink something so bitter that her own mind gets preoccupied by the taste rather than her own guilt? A flash of memory came to her.

  ... The same burning bodies, the same screaming, the same orange light cast on her. This time, she didn't feel bad, only a little bit, mostly? She was thinking that if it wasn't them who were on the ground, then it would have been her.

  In fact, they'd do worse things to her than just being burned to death, they'll keep her alive after they're finished with doing their business, by then, she might as well be a living corpse.

  Laself clenched her fists and glared at the floor, she was almost assaulted. Men like that dominate the adventuring profession and Rontress wants to go and do that kind of work without even thinking about it, will she be fine?

  Of course she will, Rontress will chew up men like that and spit them out moments after meeting them. The scrolls she gave them were more than enough to beat a group of adventurers so Laself can only imagine what Rontress' actual spells are like.

  "Good, then we can talk about what happened." Atterson sat on the open spot next to her, "Laself, it's fine if you defend yourself from people like that, that's what Rontress would have done."

  Her sister-in-law would have done more than that, she would have stopped whatever is happening to them entirely. Laself couldn't help but think that if Rontress were here, they wouldn't be struggling so much.

  Then again, that's how it's always been when she's around right? And she says that she doesn't want all of them to rely on her all of the time.

  "She's going to leave one day." Laself murmured, finally realizing what the younger girl meant all those weeks ago.

  "She will, we don't have to call on her all of the time." Atterson patted her back, it was supposed to be reassuring but Laself only felt dawning horror. "We'll find a way to be independent, and who knows, maybe we'll be able to handle the store and all the things that come with it even when she's gone?"

  "We just need to get used to it, right?" Laself repeated the words her in-laws have been saying to her all this time, she didn't believe it but it's her only anchor right now. "We'll eventually get the rhythm of this kind of life."

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  "Yes, exactly!" Atterson sounded happy, does she know Laself didn't actually agree with this? "I know it feels overwhelming right now but that's only because we're new to living like this."

  "How long will it take before we can do this without worrying?" Laself tried not to let her fear crack her voice. She wanted to run away. "And how come Rontress is fine and we're not?"

  "Give or take? A few months. Not the weeks that we have now." Atterson answered her first question with the casualness of someone who's gone through this exact same scenario several times in the past. "And as for why Rontress is fine? Well it's obvious isn't it?"

  "Because she's Rontress?" Laself grew a wry smile, what a stupid question, of course her sister-in-law would be fine, she can find herself in the depths of a dungeon and still find a way out somehow. "I wish I'm as smart as her, maybe then I won't be as panicked as I am now, I just wish I knew what to do."

  "Don't we all?" Atterson stood up, she fixed her dress. "But we're not smart enough to figure things out before they can happen, and the best we can do is react to things as they're happening, just like everyone else."

  "We're normal people." Laself exhaled, she's much calmer now thanks to the talk.

  "Yes, and normal people panic when they kill things for the first time." Atterson paused, Laself didn't know where she was about to go but she suddenly stopped so it's clear she has more to say. "Did you know that Rontress actually cried a lot when she first started as an acolyte? There were plenty of dead bodies back then and she had to work with them, her eyes were always red."

  "How long did it take for her to get used to it?" Laself couldn't help but ask, it's the first time she's ever heard of Rontress having any kind of weakness and she's both intrigued and, admittedly, petty enough to want to learn more.

  She's only human, as much as she admires the younger girl, she also wants to feel good about herself whenever Rontress' names comes up, she wants to think that her sister-in-law isn't as invincible as Laself's mind made her up to be. She cries, she has moments of weakness, and she doesn't always know everything.

  "A few weeks after that, she... I don't know, she suddenly became more proactive, it's like she had some kind of revelation." Atterson shrugged. "She has always been a weird kid, that's why she became an acolyte in the first place, to confirm whether or not she's cursed."

  "But then?" Laself asked, indirectly asking for her in-law to continue.

  "But then her time in the church happened and she became more attentive, more proactive, like she's working for some unknown goal." Atterson didn't sound confident in her guess, which means the reason why Rontress did the things she did are still left in the air. "Thanks to her, the death rate in Flotol has gone down over the years, at the same time, so has the rate of poverty."

  "Too many people means that our community can't support everyone." Laself said softly, she's heard these words before while going to church, the head priest— the same one attacking them now. — said it to them during a sermon. "She did bring us food, thankfully."

  "It's one of the things she willingly did to make up for her mistake."

  "Saving people isn't a mistake." Laself corrected, she shook her head. "And defending myself isn't a mistake either, I don't think I should feel guilty for killing those adventurers, they had it coming for them."

  And yet her legs shook as she stood up, the brave front she's putting on is as brittle as the edges of the raft. It could crumble at any moment, if she encounters another group of adventurers and gets forced to defend herself she might just...

  "Take a break, Laself, go to your room or maybe talk to Howaph, let us take care of everything for the time being."

  A hand came down on her head and ruffled her hair, "you already did enough, act like someone your age and let adults take care of things."

  "What are you doing?" Laself didn't do anything even as she witnessed her in-law rummage a nearby chest. "Is that a scroll?"

  "Scrolls." Atterson corrected. "We're running out but I need them to defend myself if someone comes to me when I'm outside."

  "Where are you going?" Laself eyed the staircase, should she do what she's told and take a break or go with her in-law? The guilt at the thought of not helping her and that decision getting Atterson killed is already starting to affect her, what would she be if it actually happened?

  Atterson stopped by the door, "the butcher shop, don't wait for me."

  After saying that, she left, and Laself rushed to lock the door. Once done, she stood in place, her eyes staring frozen at the latch.

  Will the butchers really help them? His brother is one of the village's executioners so turning them into an ally would give them a fighting chance but will they even agree? Laself feared for the worst.