Interlude 4: Caring

  Garry was… a bit flabbergasted. He only knew Panda from the stories and from interactions here and there. The man had trained him a bit, but the other enforcers did a lot of that too. This was his first time fighting for his home, really!

  The Bear-Yakuza trained him to do so but it’d never happened before. The enforcers were always ready or the issues so quickly resolved that by the time he arrived? There’d be nothing to do. He’d applied because this territory was the best he’d ever been in, by quite a bit!

  Garry’d been born in the gutter, lived in the gutter and expected to die in the gutter. However, after fleeing here from a corpo squad doing some cleanup? They didn't beat him up, kick him out or anything.

  They’d pointed him towards their soup kitchen –Gangs didn’t run soup kitchens!-- and fixed up a couple wounds that’d been bothering him. Hell, one’d been infected! If the nurse lady hadn’t treated him with some weird paste she’d made, he might’ve lost his leg!

  Garry loved it here! The gang tax was so small! People didn’t get beaten up for no reason! Fuck, people were nicer in general. He knew the people squatting with and around him.

  He’d heard of that kind of shit and thought this’d be a cult. If it was, he didn’t give a shit! However, this was a community apparently, or a commune? Whatever.

  Garry made friends, wasn’t… as afraid of people around him.

  It was a bit more unstable than other territories though, gang tension and stuff, but perfect didn’t exist!

  When they offered a sort of half-time job where you could be called on to protect the place? Well, it’d be a good job with decent credit for down here!

  They armed him, gave him a few credits and some extra meals when he came in to train. Garry could probably best be referred to as… scrawny. The training felt harsh sometimes, but it did good things for him!

  When the aliens attacked? He fled with his friends… some didn’t make it.

  All the militia got guns, it came with the job. The rifles weren’t great, but worked. His team’d found an enforcer to follow and then, Panda gave them a plan! Garry almost cried after hearing it.

  Panda would sacrifice himself to keep them all alive longer.

  That’s when he actually started to believe. Even after years of living in this place, the thought that there had to be a reason, a catch, a plan or something never left!

  No, Panda just… cared. He didn’t make a break for it with his family, which he probably could have done!

  He knew the stories of how dangerous that guy was! Instead, the boss’d made a plan to save as many of them as possible!

  The horde that came down that corridor… it would haunt his nightmares...

  But if Panda didn’t run, Garry’d stay right fucking there.

  He got the chance to help him fight and stayed until the last moment. He’d been the reloader for his quad loading belts and did better than even his best training time!

  Then, the boss told him to run. To run and leave him behind. Why? Why didn’t he want him to keep reloading those belts? To carry a second shotgun for him to swap again, like when that barrel almost melted?

  Because he cared about him. All the enforcers did. He’d become one of them, a member of the… community, so they’d fought and some of them died to protect him and everybody else…

  “Anna, Donna, George… Anna, Donna, George…” He muttered to himself. They’d told him to run, even though having him there to carry extra guns, to carry extra ammo would help their chances!

  They did it because they cared about him. They did it because Garry had become one of them. They did it… and then died for it. He’d always remember the names.

  He’d known, at that time, if they asked him to stay, to do a heroic last stand? He’d have done it. The only likely scenario for him had been dying in a gutter from an infection or something.

  Dying with purpose? That’d be a whole lot more than he’d expected out of life. Also… Garry wanted to protect those kids! He really, really did! This place made him… care.

  “I’m a Bear-Yakuza…” It didn’t feel real. The name didn’t help. Hell, when the boss’d come back, covered in blood, both red and green, it hadn’t felt real. Summoning shit didn’t help either!

  Panda’d become a samurai! In less than an hour, Garry nobody had been given a gun more powerful than PMCs usually handed out and, oh, yeah, also the most valuable thing he’d ever fucking seen!

  Then, he’d been asked to shoot the fuckers that invaded his… home. He had a home. There were aliens in it. Panda gave him super ammo that worked wonders through his awesome gun!

  Garry’d become more mad and determined than ever in his pathetic fucking life! No more drifting! He’d stay in this building! The announcement? It just reaffirmed his decision! Like the boss said! Garry would kill every alien in the building or fucking die trying! He’d protect all those… all his people!

  Then the flood of survivors as Panda threw himself at the aliens? That felt unreal too!

  He’d volunteered to get out there and help people, then stayed with Lila the whole time. It’d made him feel a bit unnecessary, but at the same time, carrying injured people saved lives!

  Together, they’d evacuated so damn many! However, when there’d been a view of the center?

  The boss looked bad, covered in blood, most of it green, but the red stuff had to be his! One time, Panda’d been fucking skewered by, like, three huge spines!

  Yet, his leader’d kept on fighting, cutting one of the dog bastards in half before ripping out the fucking things and getting right back to it!

  Another time, Garry had seen him in the middle of a fucking fortress of alien bodies! Surrounded by fucking fire! Sheer insanity. There’d also been more blood…

  When Lila told them they had to go and extract him, some were scared, but determination’d gripped him hard! If he had to get in the middle of that pit to save the guy, he would!

  Thankfully, no, they’d just picked somewhere close the boss could run to. When they got him out, Panda’d looked rough!

  Garry had seen him limp-running, one of his legs clearly fucked up. The armor had dents and scratches all over! He’d taken one arm and someone else the other. With how much the boss weighed, dragging might not’ve been an option! When the armor came off…

  So much blood! On his arms, legs and chest, – oh, and, of course – Pooling on the god damn floor! Yet, miraculously, still alive!

  He also saw a LOT of fresh bruises, including the ‘broken rib’ kind. Yet? Maybe fifteen minutes later, the guy got back out there!

  Garry’d felt tired, fighting’d taken a lot out of him, but if the boss breached another section? He wanted to be there. Ended up helping the twins clear apartments, looking through rooms very, very carefully.

  No one was supposed to take too many risks, the boss didn’t want to lose anybody else. Still, he’d been needed, and that felt good.

  The things he’d found… They just… Garry could barely think about it.

  So many people died. He’d found the remains of… no, couldn’t think about that.

  What he’d also found were people like him! Actually, no.

  Those people felt more important somehow, people that didn’t deserve to die, that shouldn’t be there. That didn’t deserve… that weren’t meant to suffer through this shit! Garry’s life had been fucked from the start. His life sucked hard, but these people…

  This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

  However, because of his actions and everybody else’s, they’d live.

  The kids would get to learn, and grow… They’d live better lives than his. Caring though…

  Caring hurts. Caring about the corpses in front of him? It hurt like hell. Probably why he didn’t before…

  “Yeah, it fucking hurts…” He muttered to himself again, his eyes moist.

  Still waiting for orders, he just sat and rested in an apartment’s doorframe.

  The pain felt… manageable. He could deal with it… should he though? Those people, the ones he cared about? They had nothing to do with him! Other than being his people now… That pain… It wasn’t necessary!

  Garry had survived by only doing what was necessary until now! Anything else could be dangerous…

  “It’s worth it.” He jumped nearly a foot in the air! That voice! Oh shit…

  “Sorry buddy…” Panda said as Garry straightened himself up. There was definitely a smile in that voice. Also just a bit of an apology, along with a laugh. “Hey, uh, boss! Sorry for…”

  “Nah, don’t worry. Resting is good. We got tiring work ahead. Back to what you muttered about though: It’s worth it.” Garry was mortified! The samurai heard that!?

  “Hum… I… Well…” Then? The boss took his helmet off.

  The guy looked cute and badass, somehow. His smile appeared… caring, but tinged with sadness. It weirdly made him calm down. Something about real emotion, no matter the facial expression, came through when you saw someone’s eyes.

  His reddish hair fell a bit, faux-hawk resting just over his brow, matted with sweat and staying between metallic red panda ears

  The man just looked tired. Not… not exercise tired but a different type of tired. The tired of just… too fucking much for too fucking long…

  He knew that kind very well.

  His metal red panda ears drooped just a bit, which might mean… something. The man looked tall in his armor! It also added some bulk.

  Overall, pretty damn intimidating! The tail that swayed gently behind him fit more with the smile.

  “Like I said, it’s worth it. I remember you now, you reloaded my quad belts, right?” Garry nodded. The boss’s gaze became appraising. “If I’d asked you to stay, you’d have stayed.”

  It wasn’t a question, and it felt wrong to give a bullshit answer or some canned ‘of course boss’. In the end, Garry just looked a bit away, then nodded.

  “Anna, George and Donna, they all chose this and yeah… It… It fucking hurts like hell… it does. When my mom died, I… I’d been so focused on her, I had nothing else to care about. I drifted. You look like someone who knows what that’s like.” Again, Garry didn’t look him in the eyes as he nodded.

  “Then, I met my husband. He was… about to be gang-raped by a bunch of assholes. I don’t know if you heard the story?” Garry looked back, surprised.

  No one shared that one with him! “I… didn’t, no. Just heard you kicked out the old gang.”

  Panda snorted. “We sure did, all the enforcers, the old militia guys and the civvies that helped. Not the point. When I saw this… complete stranger, in so much misery, just… impatiently waiting to die, to be let free of that horrible life… I snapped.”

  “Not caring… I didn’t get hurt as much, but I wasn’t alive. When I got ordered to hurt people and did it to just to fucking… survive? Not caring hurts too, you know? It felt horrible, hurting people for no better reason.”

  “My mom didn’t need me to do that shit anymore, so doing it… even though I only hurt deserving people, for no reason?” Yeah, Garry could definitely relate with some parts.

  “I murdered five people that day. It was like a damn burst. Every emotion, every ounce of pain that hadn’t mattered anymore because I just didn’t give a fuck about anything. They drove me, they pushed me. I suddenly cared again! I cared about a perfect stranger. When I killed those… monsters, it felt great. Might be fucked up, but they sure as hell deserved it. Unlike before, it felt great because I cared. I had a reason, a purpose. When I gave that guy a few credits and made sure he was ok? That felt great too. Look over there.” He said while pointing.

  Garry looked over to a crying father. An enforcer had bought one of those nanite things to heal the son. The kid lay splayed out on the ground and the bite on his leg that had been bleeding like crazy? It closed, fast! Then, when the father looked up at the enforcer…

  The joy, the relief, the thankfulness! It felt so intense, so overwhelming! Then, he hugged his child and wept, great big sobs. When the son woke, his voice was a little thing, but it sounded so fucking beautiful.

  “That’s the high. You’ve seen the lows, but they don’t last long in the grand scheme of things. You’ll be here, seeing that kid, and all the kids you helped save, every fucking day. George, Anna, Donna, that’s what they jumped to their deaths for. Because that kid’s worth it. Because the hundreds of kids they were protecting are worth it.” Panda said, sadness radiating from him.

  “Because the years of good life we can give them are worth every single second. Every second of life they gave up means thousands of times more of theirs.” The boss looked down a bit as he continued.

  “It means thousands of times more good life. None of us had that, none us were given the fucking chance. We don’t expect that for ourselves, honestly. I’m so insanely lucky to have my family. Our version of good life though? What makes it a good life? It’s what we do for them. It’s… making good lives for others. We’re a lost cause, fucked up beyond all recognition. We’re… murderers and destroyers, but now we get to be makers. They have an actual fucking chance thanks to us! It’s amazing…” The smile was back, but not for long.

  “Having a good husband, amazing children… It’s a miracle for me. I never expected it. I’m… damaged. Lesser than I could’ve been… I know that. I truly, deeply, profoundly know that. My potential was turned sour by… fucking everything. The world, the assholes in it, the gangs, the corpo bastards, fucking pick one. I’m a killer now. It’s what I am, to the core. Killing aliens is fucktons better but… Yeah, that hasn’t been my life before now, has it?”

  “Children though? They’re… infinite potential! Galaxies of neurons burning in the dark! Ever changing, ever evolving! Who knows what they’ll grow into? If they’ll reverse engineer some alien tech to solve cancer for everybody? If they become a samurai that will safeguard all of earth? Some will also become good parents thanks to us. Parents not riddled by trauma like we are, and the chain will continue on and on, kindness echoing through who knows how long…” Panda had a satisfied look on his face.

  “I have a little mnemonic, fight now, grieve later. My mom taught me that. It’s extremely important, but… When later comes, I will fucking weep for hours, maybe days. It will hurt like a mother fucker. For Donna, for George, for Anna, for all the enforcers… the friends I lost, for all the kids I… I wasn’t good enough to save.” The boss said, a couple tears escaping his control…

  “However, then I’ll wake up, bring my kids to school along with all the kids I was good enough to save. I’ll see them grow, I’ll make sure they get a good life, better than mine at least. I’ll fight, because it’s what I am, it’s what I do, what I’m good at… Because It’s what I can do. I’ll fight because I care, and that care will be reflected back at me from the people I care about and that I take care of.” Louis looked back at him after wiping his eyes, and he felt pinned to the ground!

  “That kid, he’s alive because of you. He’s alive because you cared enough to fight, because the entire militia cares enough to fight, and we’ll fight even more and save more kids. That joy you see in his father, you’re responsible for that.”

  Garry almost trembled. It felt like the boss was trying to force him to actually accept a compliment. Actually, yeah, he might have brushed it aside otherwise…

  “I… I mean, I’m just a grunt.” He said, weakly.

  “And every ‘grunt’ is needed. Do you think he’d be alive if you and the rest of the militia hadn’t shown up? We’d never have the forces to hold a single extra fucking entrance.” Okay… Yeah that made sense but…

  The boss pointed an armored finger at his chest. His metal ears were pointing up so hard they had to be sharp! “You care.” It was a simple statement of fact.

  “It doesn’t hurt if you don’t care, hence, I know you care. You care, and you want more of that.” He pointed back at the parent, still crying. “You, Garry, want to help. You want to fight. Am I wrong?” Now Garry did tremble under the most intense gaze ever leveled at him!

  “No, but… I’m just… I’m just a grunt! I’m just street…” Panda didn’t let him finish.

  “Street trash doesn’t do that. Street trash doesn’t save people. You, Garry, are more than street trash. You risked your life. You put everything on the line for that.”

  No! Garry was just… gutter trash! He’d always been! “Also, we can do something about the grunt part.” He said with a smile that didn’t reduce the intensity at all!

  Suddenly, a data stick appeared in his hand. Garry froze. He’d seen one of those. Panda’s gaze softened. His ears drooped a little. “I lost a lot of friends, Garry. I lost good people that didn’t deserve to die. I can’t let their work be for nothing, so I need more people like them. I need you. This building needs you.”

  All he could say was a single word: “Why?”

  “I never tell anyone the requirements because I don’t want them to try and cheat or lie or something stupid like that. My husband tells me I’m terrible at reading people’s emotions and interacting socially, but I’m good at finding a person’s core. I think it’s in part because I suck so much that usual masking or manipulation doesn’t work on me? Like trying poison gas on a fish…”

  “Also, people tend to open up to me, something about someone who’s open and honest, that won’t judge you because he’s done some shit himself and who actually listens really gets people talking!” Panda said, turning on a dime to pensive before returning to him.

  “You, Garry I’d say your last name for emphasis but you don’t have one, care. That’s the most important thing, beyond anything else. All enforcers care. It’s the one requirement I can’t live without.” His smile was kind again, a simple little smile with no teeth. It softened his own heart.

  “Second, you’re smart. You thought tactically, your explanation was thoughtful and well reasoned. Fuck, no one else saw it! I just went from one thing to the other non-stop and then you came along and fixed tons of problems! A lot of people are going to live because you’re smart. We’re going to save a lot more people also because you had the guts to speak up!” Garry was in shock. He’d just… He’d…

  “That’s another reason. I could tell you were scared, intimidated, but you had the fucking balls to speak up! You’re willing to fight, to put your neck on the line! To risk everything even though you don’t have kids or close family to protect, and yet you fought! You did what you could! You even went deep into the shit to come get me! Yeah, my AI recognized you.”

  The man’s… tail was swaying behind him as he finally asked. “So, Garry, do you want to help more? Do you want to save more kids? To do more of that?” He said as he pointed to the crying father one last time. With his other hand, he extended the data stick towards him.

  It took Gary a few seconds. His mind had gone blank. Yet, out of the clear waters came the only answer he could give. It was obvious, what the fuck else would he answer?

  “Yes.” He said in a small voice. Then he took the data stick and put it to his port. Garry had to be in shock since the nanite shit that stick did barely got a reaction from him.

  Welcome to the enforcers, Gary B. Yakuza.