Charlie speaks up. “We think we know what happened, and it makes sense with what you’ve been saying since you returned. You keep using the phrase ‘him,’ ‘he,’ and ‘the eagle.’ Can you explain what you mean?”

  Shiners nods. “This is an integral part of what I think you need help with. Don’t worry about anything, just explain it to us,” he says, giving me a comforting nudge.

  I take a deep breath. Shivering a little at the memory, I realize the eagle had helped, but it had been terrifying when I couldn’t make it stop. What if it hadn’t landed when it did?

  Shiners tilts his head, giving a small sigh. “Yeah, that is what we thought. When you tried to control your panic and fly, what did you do? Did you tell your body to react, or did you react?”

  Charlie nods as he scratches his chin. “This is important. What happened after you recovered from your panicked escape? What did it feel like?”

  Thinking back, I give a little shiver.

  Shiners shakes his head. “That is your mistake. It is not the eagle. It is you. It is your instincts. I get that it can be scary, but you are your instincts, and they are you. You need to realize this and stop thinking of it as separate. You could not control it because you were trying to tell it what to do. But you are the eagle,” he says.

  Charlie nods his head. “You are not a human trapped in an eagle’s body. It has taken me a while to realize this. You are an eagle with a human mind. You are treating your instincts and mind as separate. It is like trying to ride a bike by telling it to change direction instead of turning the handlebars.”

  My throat feels tight as I try to understand what they are saying. I felt spooked by that. What if it happened again? What if I hurt someone like Charlie or Shiners? This scares me, I doubt I could...but you never know what could happen.

  Shiners shakes his head, pointing a talon at me. “Mike, you are the eagle. You could not control it because you were trying to change the instinct, not your body. Think of it like when you hear a scary noise, and you run. You do not try to tell yourself to stop, you just do. Your human mind automatically overrides those reactions, but the instincts you felt were far more visceral and primal, so you treated them as something other than you. They are the same thing.”

  Charlie nods his head. “You need to understand your instincts. When they appear, do not try to change them, act with them. You are them, and they are you. If you flee again, do not think, act. You can no more think yourself into acting as an eagle than you can as a human. You might have a thought, but your body is what does the action.”

  I frown a little at this, trying to understand what they are saying. At the time, it felt like I had no control. But was it truly that I had no control, or was it my first time experiencing such instincts? Would I have been fine if I had turned around automatically?

  Shiners nods, giving me a little nudge. “Next time you feel like you are going to flee or your instincts take over, let us know if you can, and we will try to help you through it.”

  Charlie smiles. “I know this will be scary, but you will make it through this. I believe you have the strength. I mean, I probably would have done more than have a panic attack if I was the one who turned,” he says.

  I give a small chuckle.

  Charlie nods and laughs. “Frankly, I wish I had seen that. All I saw was your naked, feathery butt flying off,” he says as he begins to pack up. “I think, unless there is anything else, we are good to start heading back, especially if I want to make it in time for school. It will not do you two any good if I am grounded for a year,” he adds, tossing stuff into his backpack and kicking dirt over the fire.

  Shiners nods. “I will keep an eye on him and can maybe be a go between to keep track of what is going on if you want to say something.”

  Shaking my head, I think about the last few days and add, I could not help but wince, thinking about how all of this happened.

  Charlie nods, looking nervous as he scratches the back of his neck. “You know, if you want me to, I can check in on your family after school. Shiners can be nearby to listen while you are in a tree, so you can see how it goes. I am not sure how they will react, but it will probably be best to check in on them. It has been a day, so they will probably want to know you are safe even if they do not fully believe it.”

  Shiners nods. “I can be nearby and relay what they say to you, unless you want to land closer. Though after last time, I will understand if you want to keep your distance.”

  I think about this. Part of me wants to run up and hug them, as best as I can, but the other part is not sure I am ready. Even if they are ready to accept me, I do not want to risk being rejected again. Once was painful enough.

  Charlie nods as he finishes packing. “Whatever is comfortable for you. I think I will go today. Worst that happens is they ask me to leave. But they have not heard a word from me in thirty six hours, and if they called, they would not have gotten a response. Plus, maybe we can work out a cover story. We do not know who they have called or what they have done looking for you.”

  I give a nod at this, feeling more than a bit nervous, but we need to do something. I ask.

  Charlie shoulders his backpack and looks between the two of us. Shiners hops closer. “You mind if I ride on your shoulder? I can be the relay between you and Mike. Otherwise, we will look like we angered an ornery eagle as it dive bombs us every few feet.”

  Charlie looks up and shakes his head. “Probably for the best. I do not want to spend the entire trip dodging you, and I do not trust your flying skills not to hit me,” he jokes. Turning to Shiners, he nods. “Sure, though once we are out of the trail and back on the road, you will have to fly with Mike, or people will wonder too much.”

  I give an indignant look.

  Shiners laughs as he flies up to Charlie’s shoulder. “Do not worry, I will keep an eye out for any more dangerous statues.”

  I shake my head at their antics as I sit on the branch, watching them catch up to me. I say, giving a small chuckle before adding, I ask, glancing up at the sky where it looked like it might snow again.

  Charlie looks up at me as he passes. “Whatever works for you two. I probably will not have time for much until after school, but there is nothing wrong with you both keeping up with me.”

  I give a small skree as I fly a bit higher, where it is more comfortable, letting Charlie concentrate on getting to school.

  Charlie nods his head as he looks up at me. “Just do not hunt any small dogs, no matter what your instincts say,” he says.

  I feel insulted. I say as I watch him get on his bike.

  Shiners takes off from Charlie’s shoulder and flies up to join me as we glide along, watching him head toward school. He shakes his head at me.

  I try to roll my eyes, but end up just giving my head a waggle as I soar up, finding a thermal and enjoying the way it pushes me into the air. I watch as Shiners grows smaller below me. I can see the hint of a glare as he lets out a kaw. For now, I am just happy to be in the air again as myself. I still am not sure what it means to be me, but for the moment, I at least know how to find out.