After the mild existential crisis Hajime experienced, Deus says:

  “A few gray hairs? That’s odd—shouldn’t you be excited to be scouted for a VP position?”

  Hajime replies:

  “That conflicts with my wish Deus...”

  Deus taps the desk a few times.

  “I see… Don’t worry too much about it. We have all the time in the world after your quest is done to sort out the small details.”

  Hajime thinks: Damn it… she’s really serious about having me at her beck and call.

  Deus responds: “Of course I am.”

  Hajime snaps: “Can you stop reading my mind?!”

  Deus smiles: “What’s the fun in that?”

  Just then, a celestial orb-call resonates through the office.

  Ring… Ring… Ring…

  Deus answers:

  “Good day, Miss Xiwang. Is something the matter?”

  She pauses, listening.

  “I see… but I’m sorry to inform you that the contract for this season has changed. I won’t be able to moderate the hero’s behavior.”

  An angry voice filters through the orb:

  “Then keep him from interacting with Chun Bu! His interference is predicted to turn fate on its head!”

  Deus replies calmly:

  “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but as I said— the contract has changed, and I can’t do anything about it.”

  She ends the call.

  Deus turns to Hajime:

  “I leave you at your own devices for less than a day, and now goddesses from other realms are complaining to me? How will you compensate me for the inconvenience?”

  Hajime, sweating:

  “What do you want?”

  Deus grins:

  “Surprise me.”

  Hajime thinks: That’s physically impossible.

  Deus: “You actually surprised me when you changed the deal—who says you can’t do it again?”

  Hajime thinks: Fine, I’ll do something to Elnora someday or sometime.

  Deus: “That would indeed be surprising. You’re off the hook, hero. Well done.”

  Since Hajime doesn’t know what he’ll do to Elnora, Deus essentially cannot be spoiled. It satisfies both conditions perfectly.

  Deus asks:

  “Now, explain what the deal with Chun Bu is?”

  Hajime:

  “I gave him advice on some predictive spoilers…”

  Deus leans forward, intrigued:

  “Oh, do tell. I enjoy predicting plot probabilities.”

  Hajime:

  “I told him his ending was to die from too much female… interest.”

  Deus laughs:

  “Ahh, Xiwang never changes. She enjoys that type of play but forcing her heroes… tsk,tsk. Either way that explains why she’s pissed.”

  Hajime blinks:

  “You knew about her tastes?”

  Deus:

  “Of course. She advertises her chapters all the time on her divine blog. Quite the following. She is… unique in her genre.”

  Hajime:

  “Such a sick fiend. Either way, I’ll continue to interact with Chun Bu.”

  Deus:

  “Do so with my blessing. I’ll even arrange some time in the Grand Hall for premium visitors to mingle.”

  If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

  Hajime:

  “Why are you helping?”

  Deus:

  “Why do you think?”

  Hajime thinks: Because it’s fun to mess with other gods?

  Deus: “I knew that I wasn’t wrong about you.”

  Hajime thinks: You were wrong about me Deus…

  Deus shouts:

  “That’s retconned—now submit to the new canon!”

  Hajime sighs at the antics of the patron goddess.

  Hajime leaves the office and walks into the hall again. Adael waves:

  “Thank you for passing by hero. See you again soon!”

  Hajime:

  “See ya and good luck.”

  She fist-pumps the air at that small victory.

  Caladblock comments:

  “It’s odd that Deus is getting more invested in you every day… what do you think is happening, hon?”

  Hajime:

  “She’s a damned time goddess, luv. Can we even understand what she sees in any normal sense?”

  Valiant:

  “You are right, Hajime. It’s better to not understand and just be grateful her whims are benevolent for now.”

  Hajime receives a text from his ring:

  “I’ve never seen mom that happy.”

  Hajime:

  “Morrigad?”

  “Yes.”

  “Deus is happy?”

  “Yes.”

  “Want to elaborate?”

  “No.”

  Hajime thinks: She’s literally killing the conversation.

  Valiant: “She is a death goddess after all.”

  Caladblock:

  “Isn’t this really convenient for you? You’ve been complaining about voices in your head your whole journey until now?”

  Hajime:

  “This is different.”

  Valiant:

  “How so?”

  Hajime:

  “She doesn’t talk—so she’s better than some chatty items.”

  A tremble runs down his back—someone is suffering emotional damage. A message pops up:

  “Yippy!”

  Valiant:

  “She is very easy to please.”

  Hajime:

  “I say again, I always choose well.”

  They enter the elevator to go down to the mortal floor, and another person is already complaining at the desk.

  “What do you mean my premium room has been given away?!”

  Receptionist:

  “They paid five times the premium price. If you wait, we can review room availability.”

  Hajime sees a nine-tailed fox girl with azure fox-fire ads glowing at the tips of her tails, surrounded by humanoid animal girls and furry men. He immediately presses the button to the dungeon.

  Just before the doors close he hears:

  “I’ll fix this one way or another!”

  The doors shut, the elevator descends.

  Hajime sighs with relief:

  “Finally, some peace and quiet—”

  A voice behind him:

  “Would you mind pressing the button for the administrative floor?”

  Hajime:

  “Sure.”

  He turns and sees the fox girl petting Zeus’ mane.

  “How are you here?! I saw you at the desk!”

  Fox girl:

  “I just walked in?”

  Hajime:

  “Of course you did.”

  She asks:

  “This cow is truly special. How did you get it?”

  Hajime:

  “I adopted him—denying him a fate that guaranteed his death.”

  Fox girl:

  “Pretty noble of you… but I find you strange.”

  Hajime:

  “Strange how?”

  Fox girl:

  “Do you know who I am?”

  Hajime:

  “No.”

  Fox girl, offended:

  “That’s impossible! Are you trying to act cool?”

  Hajime:

  “I haven’t lied.”

  She stares and mutters:

  “That’s… impossible. He’s not lying!”

  Then she raises her head, determined:

  “That won’t stand!!! You’ll become my fan right now!!!”

  Hajime:

  “Get off me you crazy fox!”

  The doors open and Hajime instinctively brushes one of her tails.

  “Kyaa!!!”

  She collapses to the floor in shock. Hajime shoves Zeus out of the elevator and mashes the close button.

  “No one has ever—wait!!!”

  The doors close. Hajime sprints into the dungeon maze, fleeing something truly dangerous.

  -Back in his shitty cheapo room.

  Valiant:

  “What is it with you and that damned elevator?”

  Hajime:

  “It’s not the elevator—it’s THEM…”

  Zeus moos loudly in hunger.

  Hajime:

  “Didn’t Deus say she’d help with his food?”

  A haystack of premium ad-material drifts ethereally through the door and lands before Zeus, who happily devours the sloppy advertisements.

  Hajime collapses on the bed:

  “This has been such a hassle… Maybe I should just stay in this room and avoid the elevator altogether. ”

  He immediately receives an invitation:

  “As thanks to all sponsors and donators, we are pleased to invite you +++Blank+++ to the Premium Sponsor Ball!

  Meet the talents, the organizers, the managers— the blood that keeps the body circulating!

  Don’t be shy and mingle to your heart’s content!

  Ads are in the air—be blessed by the majesty of the Clout!”

  A few more gray hairs sprout on the other side of Hajime’s head.