Life is always hard — never an easy endeavor.
Hajime-kun sits in silence, staring at the premium poster of Magical Girl Mary-san he once won from a gacha raffle. His entire monthly salary had gone into that event ticket — the activity had voice actors, merch, the whole beautiful deal.
On the desk before him sit his precious miniatures: Villain Pantysaur, Bra-san, and Lunathong Silk. Each one holds a treasured memory for our hero. Each one contains a piece of Hajime-kun’s identity — the secret drive behind his male fantasy's.
Then suddenly, a voice cuts through Hajime’s thoughts:
“Are you just going to wallow in the past and never look forward?”
A blurry shape takes form… a familiar and welcomed figure.
Naked Asura Demonlord EX Hajime-san has appeared in this apartment!!!
Hajime blinks. “No… there must still be hope inside me. Some way to break free from this world’s yoke and return to the sanity of my original life…”
He speaks for the first time to the one person he trusts the most.
Himself, of course.
Naked Asura nods sagely.
“A part of me is always within you. Our hatred is vast — and it gives us power. Our experience was hellish, but always tinged with hope. Don’t wallow in despair. Push forward and keep getting triggered.”
Hajime nods with solemn conviction.
“Is there… is there a way to overcome my hatred for feet ads?”
Naked Asura stares back, deadpan and disappointed.
“No. Feet ads are to be hated and purged indiscriminately.”
“We are one and the same,” Hajime replies, nodding in understanding.
He opens his arms, waiting for a dramatic fusion sequence… but nothing happens.
Naked Asura facepalms.
“You dolt. We’re in a dream. We’re already one.”
Hajime tsk’s at himself and loads up an old PC game from Memory Backlog Town. The two of them take turns playing like it’s a slumber party in the early 2000s.
Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
Outside the cocoon.
Whalescalibur screams, pacing the room with great discomfort.
“What the hell is happening to Hajime-san?! Somebody explain it to me?!”
A cute lioness beast-girl in a tropical hat and red bikini replies coolly:
“This is what we colloquially call a crashout. The boy’s stressed out from all our interference. He needs time in the metaphorical Man-Cave.”
She sips her coconut water like this is all perfectly normal.
Caladblock, arms crossed, snorts:
“He just needs some time alone. It’s the price of going against me.”
She’s still salty about Hajime’s rebellion.
Whalescalibur leans in like a gossiping fangirl:
“Then… who are you?”
Valiant shrugs.
“Well, I’m—”
The swords and the strange new companion pass time together, our hero will just mellows out inside his cocoon in the mean time.
In the outside world:
The Adspital is packed. Hajime lies in the Emergency Suite.
“Nurse! Inject 30 minutes of Generic Overpriced Cough Syrup Ads, stat!”
“Injecting ads!”
His body convulses in a fit of revulsion and cringe.
“It’s not working!” the Ad-doctor yells. “We’re losing him!”
Sweat pouring, he commands:
“Try 5 minutes of Mesothelioma Awareness Ads with a dash of Generic Electrolyte Sport Drink Ad!”
Hajime’s heart rate spikes — 150 BPM!
“Damn it… this is experimental, but let’s try it anyway!”
He injects…
Plastic Surgery for Sausage Extension — Girth Guaranteed?.
The heart monitor explodes.
Then the nurse trips and accidentally slaps Hajime across the face.
Beep... beep… beep...
Vitals normalize.
“Give that nurse a promotion!!!” the doctor roars triumphantly.
In his hospital room:
Hajime, in medical gown, stares out with hollow eyes through the window. His swords are arranged like weirdly intense flower vases. A necklace dangles from his tucked-in shirt.
Merry stands beside him, glowing in all her blocky beauty. She holds out a Premium Button.
“Hero-san, please… It’s the button you always wanted. See? Can you push it…? For me?”
The button is inches from his finger — but his hand doesn’t move.
Blocky tears fall from Merry’s eyes.
Then something happens.
Hajime’s fingers curl into a fist.
Merry chokes back a few more tears and solemnly leaves a Get Well Coupon with her best wishes.
Next guest: The Saintess, Elnora-san.
She approaches her unconscious hero, cradling herself like a tragic heroine.
“Defenseless as you are, it’s not right to harbor these dark desires, my hero…”
She weeps.
“Truly, you’ve been the best hero a Saintess could hope for. Your contributions and clout have elevated our holy order to new heights. Your kindness has touched hearts across this land, and your love… it has reached the bosom of this fair lady of the cloth!”
Her delusions, clearly, are still going strong.
She glances reverently at his underwear.
“Thank you for your sacrifice. It is now my duty to fulfill the covenant with our holy flock… and prepare for your awakening.”
She picks up his underwear and exits the room with divine fervor — ready to satisfy the fans and prep Hajime for his next cursed trip through this ad-infested hell.
Final guest:
Night has fallen. Peace reigns on the streets. All residents keep silent vigil for the fallen hero, praying to the Godly Ad in the Sky.
The window to Hajime’s room creaks open slowly.
A silhouette slips in — an office lady figure with wings.
A sultry pink heart-shaped tail swings just behind her, left to right like a thieving cat.