-Arc 1-

  Chapter 12

  “Red Room”

  *?*?*?*

  Though she was able to forget about it in the moment, crying into Aqua’s chest like that was quite embarrassing.

  She barely even got to eat. Though she was starving, her appetite disappeared during her breakdown.

  Sitting on the edge of her bed, she watched her hand. It was no longer trembling, but there was still a lingering sense of dread. Dread for her sleep, which she knew would be terrorized by nightmares.

  Dread for tomorrow, which she knew would only continue this cycle. This evening was only a brief break.

  Dread for whatever was coming soon. Between Carlos, Caelia, Aqua, and for some reason, Eris too.

  Glancing out the window, a blood-red light from the setting sun poured in through the windows. The trees shifted in the gentle breeze. Even the grass looked red under this light.

  Pulling off her apron and unbuttoning her blouse, she glanced at the mirror.

  The sight of ‘Eris’ staring back at her no longer sent her into a spiral. She had gotten used to seeing that reflection. Today, she only noticed that her eyes matched the sunset.

  Sliding off her dress and slipping into her nightgown, a chill went up her. The thin gown provided little insulation, and it was a chilly evening.

  Pulling back her covers, Eris wondered for a moment.

  Eris: “Maybe tomorrow will be better.”

  It did not fend off any of the dread. So she slid into bed, a horrible feeling in her gut. Blowing out the single candle by her bedside, she pulled the quilt over her, and settled into ‘Eris’s’ bed. Lying with her eyes closed, the feeling of dry tears still around her eyes, her thoughts were on Aqua.

  Her hands reached around her pillow, clutching the thin cover like it was her apron. She nestled her head between the cushion, like it was her chest, and imagined Aqua’s gentle hands stroking her white hair until she fell asleep.

  —*—

  She suddenly felt a sense of danger, jolting awake. Eris felt something like relief, seeing that crimson light she fell asleep in.

  Except it was different. She was not lying on a warm bed. Instead, the floor below her was cold and hard. Stone.

  Looking around, the room was extremely dark. Only a few deep vermillion fixtures on the wall provided a bloody light. The air was cold and thick. It smelt of dust, mold, and old paper.

  The room was more of a hallway, with long shelves that stretched into darkness. Their contents were countless scrolls and books.

  A wave of dizzying confusion crashed over her suddenly. How did she get here? She felt like she had only fallen asleep a few minutes ago.

  Maybe more pressing, what was this red room?

  ???: “I turn away for a moment, and you are awake…”

  A sharp voice cut through the darkness. Cold, yet familiar. It felt no different than when she heard it in the woods or in that dusty storage room.

  Eris: “Caelia?”

  A maid in silver hair stepped out from the darkness. Red light reflecting off her cream eyes, she uncrossed her arms. Her uniform seemed even more put together than usual. Everything straightened to perfection, her hair in total order.

  Caelia: “Please do not scream or raise your voice. Just so you know, this room is down many sets of stairs, so nobody will be able to hear you.”

  Eris: “Sc-scream?”

  Caelia: “Save your breath for calmly answering my questions.”

  Why she would be screaming in the first place, she did not know. Tiredness pulled on her eyelids, and the cold seeped into her skin until she shivered. She was still lying on the floor, holding herself up by her elbows.

  Eris: “What is this place?”

  Caelia: “The room of records.”

  Her mind flashed to Seraphine’s brief introduction to the room.

  Eris pushed herself up so that she was at least sitting.

  Eris: “I thought we weren't allowed down here?”

  Caelia: “I have my privileges. Besides, what I am about to do is not exactly allowed anyway.”

  Eris: “——”

  Caelia approached Eris, still sitting on the cold stone floor. Her footsteps echoed harshly in the red room.

  Caelia: “What is the nature of the deal you made with Carlos?”

  Eris: “The deal… I haven't given him an answer yet.”

  Suddenly, she felt every drop of air disappear from her lungs. Trying to gasp for more only made her mouth dry out and her throat lock up.

  Panic immediately flooded her. She clutched her throat, her chest, begging the world for air with raspy gasps. No air came.

  The sound and color disappeared from the world. Time moved in slow motion. All of her being focused on the sensation of suffocating.

  Looking up at Caelia with horror, she was watching Eris with a cold, blank stare. Eris grasped at her skirt. Desperately, confused, she begged her for help.

  Suddenly the air returned. Gasping at it like a starved child finally receiving a meal, her lungs ached and burned. She coughed out, overdosing on air now.

  Caelia: “If you didn't like that, then answer me with honesty.”

  Eris: “Haah~ aahh~”

  She could not speak at all, her entire respiratory system completely focused on the air it now received.

  Caelia: “Speak!”

  Eris: “I— g-hah- told you, I didn't— hah- answer him yet!”

  Caelia: “That was not my question.”

  Fear iced her veins over. More than anything in the entire world, she did not want to experience the loss of air like that again.

  Perhaps she was more terrified by the woman standing above her. Her face was emotionless, her voice like a razor's edge. Illuminated from behind by crimson light, her visage was nauseating.

  She did not know why Caelia was suddenly doing this, or how to end this without any more pain.

  Eris: “I’m… sorry…”

  She patted that out, still trying to catch her breath. For some reason, that was the only thing she could think of.

  Caelia: “What is the nature of the deal you made with Carlos?”

  Eris: “He asked me to… keep an eye on my coworkers…”

  It’s true that that question was the first thing that concerned Caelia in that dusty room.

  Caelia did not move away, nor did her cold face change.

  Caelia: “And you say you did not answer him.”

  Eris: “I didn't…”

  She tried to say it as firmly as possible, but her entire body felt like it was on the verge of bursting.

  Again, her entire body drained of air. The confusion and panic took over her mind. The world slowed, and she could do nothing but try to desperately breathe in air that would not come regardless of how hard she tried.

  Caelia: “Answer truthfully, Eris. You do not wish for asphyxiation, do you?”

  Eris thrashed about. This time, it felt longer. No— it definitely was going on longer. Drool leaked from the corners of her mouth, and tears streaked her cheeks. She pulled on the invisible rope around her throat. It would not slacken.

  As her vision crossed over with a thick blur, she felt like a balloon let go. Surely, she was floating away.

  Surely, this time she was going to die from the lack of air—

  Suddenly she gasped and air filled her lungs. The presence of oxygen now felt more foreign than the lack of it.

  She continued to writhe, though this time it was to maximize the amount of air she could get. Her lungs ached, her throat was raw, her mouth dry. Her knees and ankles bruised from thrashing about on the stone floor.

  Caelia: “You agreed to his deal, didn't you?! That’s why you’ve been working with Mirra and Aíma!”

  Eris: “N—o…”

  She could barely speak. The words that left her mouth were nothing more than unintelligible gasps.

  Caelia: “That's why you’ve been visiting him!”

  Eris choked on her own breath. She could not stop sucking in air, even when her lungs could not hold any more. Caelia's words barely reached Eris’s ears.

  Eris: “Tha-ts not —it!”

  The air disappeared again. Eris did not even try to fight the invisible rope any longer. She could not stop her body from gasping, but she let herself fall to the floor.

  The air reappeared suddenly. As she took in a breath, it was cut short by it immediately vanishing.

  She could breathe, then she couldn't. Her lungs throbbed and burned. Her throat screamed. Tears filled her face, and foam leaked out of her mouth over her chin.

  The presence of air only for a second before it disappeared again— this cycle did not make it easier to bear it. Instead, it only made it more painful for her lungs. It only made it more difficult to struggle.

  It only made it more difficult to give up. Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, her body did not let her lie in the darkness.

  Eris: “S— t— o— p—”

  She gagged out that word in between cycles of asphyxiation. Of course, without any air in her lungs she could not speak, so they were mere rasps in the shape of words.

  As if accepting Eris's demand, the air flowed into her lungs and did not disappear.

  She could do nothing but lie there, sobbing, gagging on her own air and saliva.

  She did not want to do it anymore. She did not think it was possible. If it happened again, surely she would die.

  Of course, she knew Caelia would not kill her here. But the idea of it was unfathomable. If it happened again, it was such a horrible thing that she was sure it would kill her.

  Caelia: “Do you think I want to do this? It doesn't bring me pleasure to torture you, Eris.”

  Eris pondered that word, torture. She was being tortured, wasn't she?

  Caelia: “What does Carlos plan to do at the end of the month?!”

  Caelia was raising her voice now. Anger maybe. Right now, Eris could not even understand something so simple.

  Caelia: “Answer me, Eris!”

  Eris: “I don't…”

  Her lungs throbbed in her chest. The nausea came on suddenly, immediately, and definitively.

  A hot, acidic bile flowed up her throat, and soon it was pouring out of her mouth into the stone floor.

  Eris: “Ahhhh— ahhhahahah~!”

  She sobbed out as foam and vomit dripped from her mouth. Tears dripped onto the floor.

  This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  She was so pathetic that rage built inside of her. Was it blinding, or was it just the tears and lightheadedness?

  Collapsing on her back, she stared up at Caelia. A scowl across her lips, Eris understood that Caelia might just kill her after all.

  Eris: “Please…”

  She wanted Caelia to kill her.

  Caelia: “Begging for mercy is futile. If you want mercy, you should answer me.”

  Indeed, she was begging for mercy. The mercy of death. A release from her existence. If she could just die, then not only would her pain end, maybe the others’ would too.

  Caelia: “What did you speak to Carlos about in the library?”

  Eris: “Please…!”

  She begged for Caelia to sever her top half from her lower, like she came so close to in the forest.

  Caelia extended two fingers, and Eris felt a wave of relief. She was finally going to do it.

  A gentle breeze hit her, the air warping between Eris’s face and Caelia’s fingers.

  She felt something hot and wet drip down her face. At first, she thought it was more tears. But they were over her nose, above her eye. The wetness dripped down her face, past her eyebrows, until it was tangled in her eyelashes. Seeping into her eyes, her vision was stained with crimson, followed by a white-hot stinging.

  Eris: “Aaahhhh~hahahah!”

  She sobbed out again, clutching her eye as the burning pain blinded her.

  Her other eye was unaffected, but tears blocked her vision anyway.

  Blood trickled down her face. It was in her nose. Suddenly, she could only smell metal. Soon after, she started gagging on what she could only assume was the blood she had breathed in.

  Caelia: “If you just answered my questions, none of this would have happened.”

  Eris: “Please…”

  So badly, she wanted Caelia to use that same technique on her throat and put an end to this all.

  Caelia: “Enough. Do not move.”

  Between the blood and tears in her stinging vision, Eris could barely make out the silhouette of Caelia turning her back and making her way across the room.

  Still gasping for air while choking on inhaled blood, she made herself sit up.

  She could barely see, but wiping her eyes at least cleared up half of her vision. Enough so that she could make out a small door with a single red light above it.

  Still holding her hand over her bloody eye, she pushed herself to her feet. Her lungs ached, the bruises throbbed, and nausea built. But she could not stop herself from running towards that door. Perhaps it was the whim of ‘Eris’s’ body, who did not wish for death.

  She felt a gust of wind, and suddenly, the floor was rising.

  She hit the floor, only bracing herself right as she hit the stone.

  A ringing reverberated into her head. Her ears rang, and for some reason, her face went cold.

  She rolled and tumbled across the stone floor. Her view of the red room was nothing but a blur, half stained by the blood in her eye.

  Then, she hit something, forcing her to an abrupt stop. The wind left her suddenly as the impact hit her back. At first, she believed Caelia had resorted to the air-removal technique again, but Eris quickly understood that the cause of her breathlessness was natural. She hit the wall behind her pretty hard, after all.

  Closing her bloody eye, she suddenly felt alert. Blinking away the tears, she could see out of her clean eye.

  Caelia was standing amongst the red light, half bathed in darkness. She looked much like she did in the forest. Her hand was extended, two fingers outwards. A gentle, pale glow around her wrist.

  Eris noticed strange crimson trails on the floor. They started at the same apex, but followed different trajectories.

  Following the first line of crimson fluid, it chased Eris, eventually reaching her.

  Tracing the path of the other one with her eyes, she could see a small lump— what looked like a tree branch on the stone. It seemed to be the source of the red trail.

  Inspecting her own crimson trail, she suddenly felt light headed. After all, something felt as though it was missing.

  She shifted her legs. One felt normal, but the other did not seem to move.

  Rather, it was—

  Eris: “Ahh—”

  Indeed, the red trail was blood. It was pouring out of her at a rate she had never seen.

  Eris: “AHHHH—!”

  Her leg had been severed, just above the knee. A clean, straight cut. Crimson blood came out in spurts, matching the rapid pumping of her heart.

  Eris: “AHHHHH! AAAGH- AHHH!”

  Her screams turned wet, then raspy. Even as screaming began to feel painful, she could not stop. The pain was only coming in now. Her first screams were of terror. Now, they were in agony.

  She had never felt anything like this pain. It barely felt like pain. Completely different than anything she has ever felt. Every fiber in her leg screamed. Even her bones hurt. The half of her leg that was severed still hurt as if it was still attached.

  It was every type of agony she could think of. Stinging, burning, aching, sharp, throbbing.

  Eris: “AAAAGGHHH! AHHHAHHHAHH!”

  Her screams turned to sobs, then back to screams.

  Her hands moved over to the stump that was formerly her leg in a desperate attempt to suffocate the unending bleeding. She clutched at it, the pain only doubling. The blood did not care. It continued to fountain out between her fingers.

  Caelia: “Trying to run, you really are not ‘Eris.’”

  At this point, those words had no effect on her. Agony ripped through her, muffling all other input.

  Eris: “Ahhhh- AHH- ahahah!”

  Caelia: “This was not my intention. But maybe you’ll be more willing to talk now that your life is tangibly in danger.”

  On the contrary, Eris physically could not speak. She opened her mouth, but only guttural cries of agony made it out.

  Tears welled up in her eyes again. Agony, fear, sadness. How could a human feel all of these at once?

  Helplessness was at the source of it all. Now deprived of a leg, she could not flee. Her own body restricted her ability to beg for death, and she could not even choose her own fate now.

  More vomit suddenly erupted from her mouth.

  Eris: “AHHHHHH!”

  Even though she could vomit, she could do nothing but scream and cry as more blood throbbed out of her body.

  Caelia was before her now. Without an ounce of remorse or empathy in her eyes, she glared at Eris’s dying form.

  Caelia: “What is Carlos planning to do about us?”

  She did not know who Caelia meant by ‘us,’ nor did she care at this moment.

  Caelia: "If you want the pain to stop, then say words honestly."

  The nausea, the agony, the lack of oxygen, they continued to build.

  A mixture of foam, saliva, and bile leaked out of her mouth. Her remaining limbs were spasming.

  Caelia: "Speak!"

  She could not. She could not think of words right now, let alone speak them. Even if she could, if she opened her mouth, she would only scream due to the agony that violated her every fiber. All of it sourced by the bleeding stump that was her leg.

  She continued to clutch it, but of course that did not help. Oily crimson rushed out like a broken pipe, pouring onto the floor into a puddle of her own insides.

  Eris: "Ah... ah~ agh! AGGH AHHH!"

  Her vision was a cycle of blurring over from the tears and blood in her eyes, then clearing as she blinked. She was light headed too, from the lack of oxygen in her blood, and the lack of blood in general.

  Caelia: “Fine. Since you’re about to die…”

  Caelia glanced behind her into the red room.

  ???: "I feel bad for ya', Eris. But if ya tell us whatcha know, it'll all be over, y'know?"

  That voice— that voice stole Eris. Tearing her away from her agonized daze.

  It was not the first time that voice had done so. In the bathhouse, where that voice soothed her, told her it was okay to be her, and evaporated her tears.

  Outside the dining hall, when everything collapsed on her at once, that voice held her close, stroked her hair, and told her it was okay to not be okay.

  That voice that showed her how she wanted to be loyal. That voice that taught her it might be okay to reap a little bit of kindness.

  That voice that stayed loyal to her, and let Eris cry for as long as she needed to think it might be okay to feel pain, even if it was stupid.

  That voice stepped out from the darkness. Under the crimson light of the red room, blue hair cascaded over red eyes.

  Eris: "A-q-u-a…”

  The Maids of

  Count Schwartzhardt's Manor

  Aqua: “Sorry about this Eris, but it’s for the safety of all of us.”

  Eris: “Ahh— ahhh— AGGHH!”

  This scream was not over her severed leg or the agony which defiled her. It was because of Aqua.

  Eris could still feel her hands stroking her hair. Her tears being evaporated away by her magic. The tingling touch as she healed her wounds.

  Eris: “A— A—”

  She tried to ennunciate her name, but only screams came out.

  She wanted to crawl to her, to hold on to her, to sob into her chest and scream that it hurts. It hurt so bad. That she was so scared. That she wanted to die, right here, right now. But she was helpless to do so.

  Her body felt cold and heavy, as if her blood had been replaced with tar. Her head was clouded by a murky nebula. She saw stars between the blur, until even the blur began to fade into blackness.

  At last she was dying. She understood that well.

  Aqua calmly walked over to the tree branch on the ground. Eris's severed leg. It was still warm in her hand as blood trickled down from the leg between her fingers.

  Aqua: “I ain't Aíma, so even I can't get rid of all this blood. Caelia, y’shouldn't have done that.”

  Caelia: “She was running away.”

  Aqua: “Ah, but couldn’t ya think of any other way?”

  Caelia: “I didn't want to risk her running to Carlos.”

  As she conversed with Caelia, she lowered Eris’s leg back to the bleeding stump. Eris was still spasming on the floor. Her eyes tracked Aqua, but she didn't say anything. Even her screaming stopped.

  Aqua: “I really do feel bad about this…”

  Caelia: “It’s for the sake of everyone.”

  Aqua: “Why did ya have to force m’hand like this, Eris?”

  Aqua said in a gentle voice as she let her magic flow. The pale, severed leg began to rebind with the stump. Something like this was a lot more work than healing a bruise and a broken rib.

  Even as the leg reconnected to Eris’s body, she knew that the blood loss would still be a problem. Even Aíma could not create new blood.

  Eris: “A—qua…”

  Aqua: “Yes, Eris, it’s me.”

  Aqua took the time to enunciate her words, and speak them in a gentle voice.

  Eris: “A—qua…”

  Aqua reached out, gently pushing a lock of white hair behind her head.

  Caelia: “What is Carlos’s plan?!”

  Even in Eris's current state, Caelia still barked out her questions. It was such a vague question, that even Aqua knew it could not be answered by Eris.

  Aqua: “I know it hurts a lot, but this is really important, y’know?”

  Eris writhed. Awkwardly shifting, she reached out with bloodstained hand and grasped at Aqua’s pristine white apron.

  Eris could barely think. Her head was so light. Her thoughts were so murky. Her vision was so blurry. She could only see the gentle color of Aqua’s hair, cascading like rain.

  She wanted to fall into her chest, but she was helpless to even do that.

  Aqua: “Please, Eris, tell us what we want t’know. This can be over all so quickly.”

  Their voices were muffled, so buried behind the intense ringing that they might as well not even exist.

  They were just unfamiliar, foggy sounds in the misty shape of voices. They could not even cut through the viscous quiet. Her mind was blank unendingness. Everything was hot with agony and rage. Cold with the confusion and fear that was made by helplessness.

  What was anything but this?

  Aqua watched as Eris mumbled nonsense, clutching at her apron and smearing blood across her.

  Suddenly, for a brief moment, the blur disappeared from Eris’s vision.

  She looked up at Aqua, who was wiping a streak of blood off of her cheek.

  Aqua watched her as Eris opened her mouth to speak, predicting more incoherent mumblings.

  Caelia: “Eris, Carlos is a danger to us all! You’re hurting everyone by not saying anything.”

  Both of them drowned out the silver-haired maid right now.

  Eris: “A—qua…”

  Surprisingly, she was able to say her name again.

  Aqua: “——?”

  Eris: “Kill… —me…”

  Aqua gently grasped Eris’s hands. Both of them soaked with the amnesiac’s blood, she gave her a firm squeeze. Then, she pulled Eris's grip off of her.

  Eris: “A—qua..!”

  As Aqua stood up, the emptiness faded from Eris’s eyes, replaced by a primal desperation she had only seen in her brother.

  She hesitated for a moment, seeing those eyes, but she pushed that away.

  Caelia: “Aqua, where are you going?”

  Aqua: “She’s not going to give us anythang. In this state? There's nothin’ we can ask ‘er.”

  Caelia: “Even so, what are we supposed to do about her?”

  Aqua: “I don't think we’ll get in any trouble. I don't think she’s gonna be saying anythang coherent for’a while.”

  Caelia: “You were the one to plan this, but you didn't plan on what to do after?”

  Aqua: “I didn't plan on ya cuttin’ ‘er leg off…”

  Caelia rubbed the bridge of her nose.

  Aqua: “I guess I can heal ‘er wounds, and put ‘er back in bed so the others don’t notice.”

  Caelia: “It's not a great solution, but since we don't have any other option…”

  Aqua: “I didn't expect thangs t’go this poorly.”

  Caelia: “Maybe… she doesn't know anything after all?”

  Aqua shook her head.

  Aqua: “Carlos made it pretty obvious, though. He wanted us ta know for’a reason…”

  Caelia did not have a response for that. Not a verbal one. But perhaps Carlos was planning this exact thing?

  It seemed unlikely, though.

  As Caelia watched Aqua gently heal the catatonic Eris, she crossed her arms.

  Something almost made her regret it all. But as the faces of all the maids, even Mirra and Aíma’s, flashed through her head, she knew it was for the greater good.

  This is what ‘Eris’ would have wanted, right?

  Breathe

  Feed

  Withering in jealousy

  Do you believe that it

  That it was ever worth it?

  That it was ever worth it?