It seemed my interaction with Marquise Larose and my outburst in my chamber served as a good pretext for severing my connection with the imperial faction. Following Aria’s advice, I have steadily improved my health. The time I stayed awake was increasing. However, I was still short of breath after about 10 minutes of slow walking. I was confined in my chamber and its vicinity. In my place, Aria took the role of the spiritual guidance for the new saintess candidate. It is the perfect role for her. In addition to being my caretaker, she also undertook the pilgrimage, so her qualification was undisputed. Her caring personality and gentle nature, combined with her intellect that far exceeded her age, made her stand out from the rest. No one could find faults to undermine her authority. If you wanted to find one fault with her, it was … the offering. She never refused it. However, they could not speak out loud as they, too, were guilty. It was all Marquise Larose’s fault.

  My concern was her workload. In addition to the duties of the saintess' candidature and my caretaker during the day, she also needed to manage the orphanage. At night, she also needed to constantly make the Holy Water, conduct research, and teach me about new arts. It was my embarrassment, but Aria’s skill in divine art has far surpassed mine in some aspects. In all these busy schedules, she still found time to take care of other saintess candidates and give them pointers. And, never, never once would she neglect Lucy. It was much later that I heard she also made time to visit the training ground of the Guidance Knight Order occasionally.

  On several occasions, when I asked her to let me handle the Holy Water, she kept refusing, citing that I needed to accumulate divinity to heal my heart. How pathetic of me. It was only with Paul’s constant persuasion that she agreed to let me make Holy Water. As a saintess, during my prime, my divinity was a dozen times larger than Aria's. However, my skill in handling it was pale in comparison to Aria’s. That was why I was learning from her. While I felt embarrassed about it, I also felt proud about it. It demonstrated how well our Aria performed, showcasing the effort and dedication she put into her training.

  6 months since Aria became my caretaker, I met you, Lucy, for the second time. Those adorable, tiny hands, those ruby-like eyes were too lovely. You have grown big, but your size was a bit smaller compared to the average babies your age. The way you kept pulling my hair was too much, too adorable. Every time you did that, Aria would panic and apologize profusely. Was it my sadistic tendency? I always felt nice when this happened. This duo of the mother and daughter, your combined loveliness, I could not get enough. The way you, Lucy, always laughed when you did that, and the apologetic face Aria showed when she saw it, I found joy in seeing them like that. It was as if peace had fallen upon us. Even now, I cannot stop smiling whenever I see you both together. So, sometimes, I deliberately made you, Lucy, hold my hair to see Aria's panicked face. Whenever Paul saw me do that, he would sharply stare at me in silence. He always tries to act as her father figure; however, he has not been quite there yet. At best, he is her doting older brother. It was peaceful until that point. However, things changed after that day. Aria began to lose her genuine smile until one day, she completely lost it. We could not get her genuine smile back.

  It was two months before the next annual prayer ceremony. I was strolling with Aria in the garden adjacent to the Saintess Candidate Hall. Then, we met Lily; now she is Lilia.

  Lilia was crouching down near the bush next to the pathway leading to the Saintess Candidate Hall.

  “… Sister Lily, I told you not to wander around too much. High Priest Adwin would not be happy if he knew about it.” It was Aria who called out to her first.

  She jumped up in surprise when she was called. I could see she was holding something when she turned to face us. When she realized that Aria was the one who called her, she called out her name in enthusiastic. “Lady Aria!”

  Then she energetically rushed at us, ignoring the bush and obstacles. Aria just frowned at her when she saw that. When she came to stop in front of us, Aria gently swatted the leaves and dirt stuck on Lilia’s robe.

  Then she said. “Please just call me Sister.” Apparently, she did not like others addressing her in that respectful manner. I could see that it was not the first time. It has always been like that. As their physical distance became close, Lilia became flustered as she looked at Aria’s face. She behaved like a girl in love.

  “Uh, um, Sister Aria.”

  “So, why are you here? It should be about time for the next lecture.” Unnoticed or unconcerned about her behavior, Aria continued to clean her robe calmly as she asked. It made me feel like Aria was getting used to it. I could see that Lilia was the ‘troublemaker’ of this generation. She reminded me of Iris. She, too, was a troublemaker. No, she exceeded it. Iris was a mischief-maker. I had to clean up after her multiple times.

  “Ah, I found this bird injured by a cat. I tried to heal it, but I could not. So, I tried to find a safe spot to hide it.” She showed us an injured bird resting on her palms. It was critically injured. One of its wings was almost torn apart. If left as it was, it would undoubtedly die soon.

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  “I see. I understand. You are so kind, Sister Lily. Could you pass me the bird?”

  “Ah, uh, here.”

  While Lilia gently carried it close to Aria’s face, Aria began to examine the bird. After a while, she held the injured wing together and cast a healing spell.

  “I believe this will solve it. Oh, it is flying.”

  “Amazing, you are amazing. Lady Aria.” It was truly a remarkable feat. Nowadays, it may seem normal. However, back then, it was almost an impossible feat. To reconnect a torn lamb was considered to be impossible. It was in the realm of myth. Yet, she effortlessly did back then. Well, it was she who spread it among our group after all.

  Yet, she quietly denied it.

  “Ah, I am not that amazing. I believe you are more amazing. To protect that bird with your body. It is the kindness only you have.” She softly spoke to Lilia as she used her handkerchief to wipe the blood stain on Lilia’s hand gently

  “…I don’t understand.” Confusion was painted over Lilia's face.

  “It is okay. Could you show me your arm?” After Aria was done cleaning the blood stain, she shifted her attention to Lillia’s injury.

  “… I mean.” The face Lillia showed us back then told me that she had something she wanted to say, but she didn't know what it was. It was that kind of confused face. She may have intuitively known that something was wrong with Aria.

  “Please take care of yourself. You are a special and important person.” Aria began to cast a healing spell as she said that.

  “Ah, no.” She could not recover from the confusion yet.

  “You should leave now. it is almost time. Only this time, I will hide the fact that you ventured here. However, there is no next time.” After Aria finished healing Lilia, she took a step back and gave Lilia a stern warning. The act at that time was so adorable. She tried hard to be as stern as possible, but I think it produced the opposite effect.

  “Ah, yes, thank you, Lady Aria.”

  Lilia returned to call Aria Lady again. See? I always tell you, Lucy, it was impossible to correct them. They always subconsciously address her in that manner.

  “Please, just call me Sister. If you cannot get there on time, you can tell them that I asked you to run an errand for me. This will save you from scolding.” Although stern, she was also caring to Lilia. No, not only to Lilia, but to everyone. That was how she had always been.

  “Thank you, Sister Aria.” Lilia ran off just like that. Until the end, she did not even notice my presence. Or should I say she only saw Aria? That was how significant Aria’s presence was in her mind.

  After we saw Lilia off, I carefully asked Aria about Lilia’s identity.

  “Aria, she is?”

  “Your holiness, do you also notice? She is sister Lily, a new saintess candidate. She is also the next saintess.”

  Aria replied without taking her eyes off the direction that Lilia departed.

  “Yes.” I could only give a short reply as I felt uneasy about Aria’s behavior.

  “She is an amazing person. As you can see, she is full of courage and kindness.” Still, she just stood there looking at the distance. I wonder what she was seeing at that time. I began to grow impatient. Her condition was too unusual.

  “Aria, too, you are a brave and kind child.” It was not lip service. It was my honest thought. No one could be compared to her. I could proudly say that.

  “… I am honored by your praise, your holiness.” Yet, my thought did not reach her.

  “It is the truth, Aria.” I gently placed my hand on top of her head.

  “…” yet, she did not react to it.

  “I think she looks up to you a lot.” Sensing that it was getting dangerous, I tried to change the topic.

  “………. ” Aria just stood there and did not reply.

  “Aria?” I began to feel more anxious as I asked her carefully. I knew the mind was not unstable at that time.

  “Perhaps for now. But one day she will come to hate me.” Finally, she returned. It was getting too dangerous. It was too close.

  I was wondering if she was talking about the future she saw? Was she worried about it? Thus, I tried to probe into it. “Aria?”

  “The thing I am about to do….. She would resent me when she learned about it,” she looked up at me as she said that. I could see many emotions welling up inside her eyes: anxiety, uncertainty, sadness, and many more.

  “I am not sure what you are planning to do. However, do not underestimate the instinct of the saintess.” After that, it was the new future that she planned to weave that she was talking about.

  And then I added. “I can assure you, Aria. The thing you are afraid of, the thing you're scared of, will not come true.” My instinct told me that was unfounded worry. It was the opposite. Whatever Aria planned to do, Lilia would feel grateful for it. However, that troublesome daughter of mine did not think so. I was also at fault. I should have checked with her about what she planned to do at that time. I could have prevented. I could have offered her a better alternative solution. It was my incompetence. It remained as one of my greatest mistakes. I have been hating myself because of it. Why did I neglect it at that time? Why did I have to dismiss it so lightly at that time? Why? Why? Why?

  As, sorry i get sidetracked again. This is not the place for me to vent my regrates. Back to the topic.

  Aria did not trust me at all. So, the only person who could cheer her up was you, Lucy. That was why I tried to distract her using you. She lowered he gaze as she said that. “…Thank you very much for your words, your holiness.”

  “Let’s head back. I want to see Lucy right now.” I gently stroke her head as I suggested that.

  “….. I understand. I will bring Lucy to you.” she escorted me back. On the way back, we were enveloped in silence. I kept checking on her as we walk back.

  After that day, the genuine smile of Aria began to decrease. Over time, it was replaced by nothing but fake smiles.

  I really pity you, Lucy, that you could not experience your mother's real smile. Even at the moment I am writing this diary, we are still trying our best to bring her genuine smile back.