“The civil service is divided into five branches,” the space-suited alien on the screen said. Uncle Bob had been very vocal about wanting ‘a space suit like that, good God you can actually sit down in it’. “The Administration branch, the Training branch, the Logistics branch, the Supply branch, and the Engineering branch. I apologize in advance if any of my explanations are lacking. I haven’t really thought of the intricacies of how they work since I joined the space service. I’m mostly familiar with the Training branch because my best friend is part of it.”
“That’s fine. Any information at all would be helpful in understanding your society,” the Captain’s voice said from offscreen as Jenny got comfortable. She had her tablet and stylus in hand, with well-meaning intentions to take notes about anything of interest and she knew wouldn’t actually be acted upon. Any serious note-taking would be happening on subsequent watches. Still, maybe she’d have some kind of thought so amazing she’d feel compelled to write it down immediately. Hasn’t happened yet in her lifetime, but this was first contact with a new alien species, so perhaps she’d be inspired.
They’d all decided to make a party of their first viewing of the latest video the ship was releasing about the alien Rain. Supposedly it was to foster discussion and crosspollinate inter-disciplinary ideas, but no one really believed that. This was an exciting, historical event—in the sense that future students will probably need to remember the date for their exams—and they were all going to make a day of it. Jenny knew that the men of the survey team were doing their own viewing. There were snacks laid out, improvised from things they’d bought from the store—or Ship Exchange—near the mess hall. There were chips, crackers, nuts, a jar of cheez sauce, and various drinks. They were forced to do this sober, but given this was supposed to be a ‘brain on’ intellectual pleasure that wasn’t any sort of hardship.
The video continued as Jenny adjusted the pillows she’d stacked at her back to something more comfortable. “Well first there’s the procedure to join the civil service. Any adult can apply to join the civil service. All applicants need to pass the civil service exam that tests them on their basic reasoning, problem solving, and awareness of current events. Any who pass are then eligible for acceptance to one of the branches of the civil service. Once accepted, one becomes a civil servant and officially becomes evil.”
Romola laughed at the straightforward, completely unambiguous statement as Jenny stared. “Wow,” the doctor said, shoulders shaking. “They have that all the way out here? We’re definitely going to get along.”
Jenny ignored the doctor, focusing on the video. It was very convenient that the alien spoke understandable English, even with that literally alien accent.
“‘Officially evil’?” the Captain’s voice said, sounding surprised and mildly incredulous, and from the way he sounded the only reason he wasn’t coughing and sputtering was because he hadn’t been drinking anything. “What do you mean by that?”
“Everyone knows that government is a necessary evil,” the alien Rain said. “So someone who’s part of the government must also be evil. That’s basic transitive properties.” Vakhali and Rose started snickering, though thankfully it wasn’t loud enough to drown out the audio. “It’s sad that so many good sisters and buddies need to be evil to let society function smoothly, so we can only be grateful for their sacrifice and be watchful on their behalf for when they do evil things, and gently punch them in the face back to the path of truth, love and justice. Hopefully before they start trying to use service resources for personal gain or starting unsanctioned supervillain teams.”
“‘Unsanctioned supervillain teams’? Does that mean there are sanctioned ones?” Rose said as she dipped a cracker in cheez before taking a bite.
“They’re probably not really supervillains the way you humans use the term in your media,” Vakhali said, popping a nut the color of rust into her mouth. “It’s probably just the best translation they have for a term in their own language. Probably means high-risk or violent criminals, or criminals whose crime has widespread repercussions.”
“It still implies there are sanctioned teams.”
“Penal legions are something that exist.”
“Shut up, you two!”
““Sorry, doc.””
“—cidents very common on your world?” the Captain’s voice was saying. “Where members of your government try to start unsanctioned… supervillain teams?” The captain sounded disbelieving that he was actually saying those words.
“No, thankfully we haven’t had anyone try to do so yet. Unfortunately, it’s probably only a matter of time because of the rise in criminal insanity. And we seem to have gone off-track.”
“Yes, my apologies. Please continue.”
“Where was I…? Ah, thank you Princess. Once someone has passed the civil service exam, they can apply to any of the branches of the civil service, which have their own internal requirements and training requirements.”
“They’re trained by the branch?”
“Yes, with help from the Training branch. It’s in the name, after all. It’s what they do. They develop, refine and maintain the materials, facilities and methods for training and teaching Kaedekin. Their most important duty is training little sisters until they reach adulthood, but even after that they provide supplementary training afterwards. The Training branch also keeps an up-to-date record of everyone willing to provide specialized skills training, so if you need to find someone to learn how to make submarines or do brain surgery from, you ask them. For adult Kaedekin, they conduct certification tests to make sure that important skills like driving are up to safe standards, maintain all the online and physical libraries and make sure they’re available to people authorized to access them, review and approve new books and other educational materials, and make sure that all materials are up to date. It’s very demanding work, and my best friend says they’re always understaffed.”
“So they’re in charge of education?”
“Not really? I mean, they maintain the education materials, but the more important aspect of their purview is training. It’s in the name.”
“What’s the difference?”
“Training is learning how to do things, to develop skills and applying them. Education is other things, like theory, concepts, and general knowledge. If someone can’t pick that up along the way, then they aren’t paying attention to their own life. The Training branch just makes sure to point out all those things to little sisters until they notice.”
The captain was silent for a bit. “That’s… certainly one way to look at it. Regarding something you mentioned earlier, who decides who’s authorized to access what materials?”
“Well, my friend says it’s like dentistry. Anyone can read about it and how it’s generally done, but you’re not allowed to read the how-to books that actually tell you how to do it until you’re a certified doctor, because amateur surgery on your teeth is a bad idea.”
“That’s… a very vivid image.”
“I know. It certainly stopped me from trying to do dentistry on myself.”
“… why did you try to do dentistry on yourself…?
“I realize now it was a bad idea, but I was five years old and my tooth kept wiggling and making it hard to eat, so I thought I needed to glue it down into place.”
“I see… Please continue, then.”
“Let’s see… I think that’s all there is to say about the Training branch, so… Next is the Supply branch. The Supply branch are the Kaedekin who makes sure that everyone has everything they need like food, refined metal stock, wood, bullets, and venecite, and do things like calculate how much everyone needs for the next few years and makes sure we have the farms, orchards, mines and refineries needed so supply will be more than demand. For the past few years they’d been working really hard to make sure the new ships being built weren’t going to cause a metal shortage. Oh, and they’re also in charge of making sure we have enough emergency stores to survive long droughts or bad harvests or sudden alien invasions whose first strike manages to destroy our farms.”
“I think we found where all the common sense in the universe has been hoarded all this time,” Vakhali said.
Romola snorted. “Think they’ll share some?”
“Would you use it, though?” the rakido sent back.
“She’s got us there, doc,” Rose said.
“Wow, you’re actually agreeing with me? Maybe proximity to the planet is actuall—”
“Vak, take the win.”
“Shutting up doc.”
The video was rewound back a little.
“—ions whose first strike manages to destroy our farms. Very important that, can’t counterattack on an empty stomach. Not for very long, at least. The power plants and water purification is theirs too, if I’m remembering right, although the pipes and wires are between them, Logistics and Engineering. The same with places like metal refineries, food processing plants, and factories for cloth and things. Oh, and they keep the lists up to date to. If you need someone to make an alloy that the Supply branch doesn’t mass produce, they can help you find someone who does if you’re too busy to make it yourself.”
This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.
“Make it yourself? Is that normal practice?”
“Oh, yes. Just get some basic stock metal and take it to the local makerlab to use the smelters there. Very simple, I used to help my friends do it all the time after school. We’d make practice weapons and bullets for our friends’ guns.”
Jenny stared at the screen for a moment, then glanced down at her tablet, where she’d already written ‘communists?’. She felt like she should make a note, but wasn’t sure what to write. Eventually she just noted down ‘smelting?’, because it felt like some kind of significant cultural practice. Granted, she only had a bachelor’s degree in sociology, but she felt that it was probably notable that their society considered smelting metal with one’s friends a perfectly normal afterschool activity.
“—ake care of moving around Kaedekin and resources,” the alien was saying on the screen before Jenny looked up again. “They plan out and build the roads and train lines between cities, towns, and fortresses and maintain the motorpools with the Engineering branch. Anyone can borrow one of the cars, vans and busses there if they don’t have one of their own to get around—although almost no one has their own bus—if they need to go somewhere that the trains don’t go to and are far enough to be tiring to travel to without a vehicle. They set up rest stops and refueling stations along the roads for those who don’t want to take the trains, and maintain the navigation signal towers for anyone flying because…” The alien paused for a moment. “Well, I think we both know that having an atmosphere that’s opaque means you can’t just look down to figure out where you are. No, wait, my mistake, the Logistics branch shares the responsibility for the signal towers with the Sky Rangers, at least for the planet-side beacons. In space, we Star Rangers take care of it, since the space service makes the most use of them. And they transport all the food and raw materials the Supply branch to collect to where they need to go, like storage, refineries or factories. That’s the most important part. Kaedekin can get around on our own, but food needs help. Oh, and they also deliver physical packages between people living in different settlements, but that’s n—”
The video paused, and it took Jenny a moment to react and turn towards Rose, who’d tapped the control on her phone. The older surveyor—who it turns out had a master’s degree in sociocultural sophontology—was frowning thoughtfully.
“Why’d you stop?” Jenny asked.
“Is it just me or does that sounds like a concerningly large number of things to be in the charge of a single government department?” Rose said. “Off the top of my head, they’re basically package delivery, the Department of Public Works and Highways, the Department of Transportation, a car rental or a taxi service depending on what they mean by ‘motorpool’, a national railroad company, and in charge of domestic cargo shipping by rail, truck and air. Any one of those would keep a large corporation occupied and struggling to provide services for their customers, but all of it? By a single government-operated entity?” She shook her head. “Either they’re a very small country or the branch subcontracts everything to private companies.”
“Maybe they’re actually just very well-organized and aren’t corrupt or incompetent?” Vakhali suggested.
There was a pause, then everyone snorted, even the rakido woman.
“Come on, unpause it,” Romola said.
The video started moving again. “—ot that common, most people just do that themselves unless they’re really busy.”
“You mentioned fortresses?” the Captain’s voice said. “Are those literal fortresses? Defensive bases?”
“Yes. Fortresses. Big walled structures full of Rangers, mecha, weapons, and mecha weapons, usually placed where they can protect cities.”
“What do your cities need protection from?”
“Animal migrations and kaiju, mostly. We do our best to site our settlements out of migration paths, but sometimes they change their path, and it’s up to the Field Rangers to gently nudge them out of the way.”
“I was under the impression Rangers were military.”
“No, we’re a defense force. Totally different thing. We don’t start fights, we finish them.”
“…a laudable sentiment. However, why do you seem to have a… defense force seemingly dedicated to animal control?”
There was a slight pause. “In the transmissions from your world that we decoded, we learned of something called the Emu War. Are you familiar with it?”
“I’ve heard of it, though I’ve never studied it in detail.”
“From what we’ve been able to gather, the war was fought with an improvised force that was under-armed and under-equipped. We have decided not to make that mistake.”
“Does dealing with animals on a scale that requires military mobilization something that needs to be done often on your world?”
“Every migration and mating season. No offense to my sisters in the Field Rangers, but I’m staying up here in space where we don’t have to deal with any of that yet.”
The captain paused again. “Yet?”
“When any of the indescribable, ever-shifting, chaotic, unknowable eldritch creatures that live in the darkness between the stars decides to make its way to Surcease, then I’m sure we’ll be very busy.”
Jenny stared along with everyone else at the matter-of-fact manner that sentence was delivered. They were joking… right?
“… there are… such beings?” the Captain’s voice said hesitantly.
“Oh, yes. At least, we’re reasonably sure. We’ve been picking up the transmissions of their worshippers as they moved through space. Ah, I’m sorry, I’ve gotten us off topic, haven’t I? Where were we… did we finish talking with the Logistics branch?”
“… I believe s—”
“Pause it,” Romola said.
The image on the screen stilled as Rose tapped her phone.
There was a brief silence.
“All right,” the doctor said, staring up at the ceiling. “Clearly what she said was too vague and out of context for us to draw any logical conclusions from, and we’re all probably misconstruing something because we’re simply being ignorant. It’s like thinking Catholics are cannibals because they keep talking about ‘partaking in body and blood’ during their religious ceremonies. Simply a very unfortunate conclusion from taking something too literally. So we should probably wait until we can speak to them personally so they can clear up what is obviously some kind of misunderstanding. Can we all agree on that?”
“That’s clearly what’s happening,” Rose said.
“We just don’t know enough to make sense of the context of the statement,” Jenny said, nodding.
“Catholics are the ones that worship the god on the torture device, right?”
“It’s not a torture device, it’s two pieces of wood at right angles.”
“But—”
“Rose, play the video.”
“—so. Unless there’s something you forgot to mention?”
“No… I think that’s enough to explain what they do. That leaves two more branches… all right, let’s do the Engineering branch next. The Engineering branch works with the other branches to build and maintain both factories for complicated equipment that are needed in large amounts and infrastructure things like the defensive walls around settlements, roads, water and power connections, hospitals, crèches, schools, makerlabs, firing ranges, bath houses, arcades, malls, town and city halls, and in large cities they build and maintain housing blocks. For example, the Logistics branch plans out the roads and train tracks, but the Engineering branch builds them, and both branches cooperate to maintain them. When they’re not the ones building something—in small towns, we like to build our own houses—an Engineering branch build team is usually still called in to take charge of building power, plumbing and waste disposal connections. They’re also in charge of factories for basic components along with the Supply branch, as well as the heavy equipment assembly bays and drydocks for building ships, fighters, and High and Master model heavy equipment like cars, trucks, busses and mecha.”
“The… heavy equipment isn’t handled by the Supply branch?” the Captain’s voice asked.
“No, they just provide the raw materials for them. The Engineering branch are the ones who build them, although it’s usually with the cooperation of the Rangers of the defense services when they’re building the basic chassis for their defense service’s own heavy equipment. Actual arming of the equipment is done by the Ranger branch themselves, since they usually have specific needs. The Star Rangers don’t use the kind of net launchers the Field Rangers do, for instance.”
Jenny wrote down ‘nationalized everything’, then underlined it. Again.
“The Rangers all run the factories to build their own equipment?” the Captain asked.
“It depends. All general-purpose equipment like railgun components are built by Engineering branch factories, but equipment that’s primarily used by a specific Ranger branch is built by them in in-fortress factories. The space service are the ones who use most gravity generators, for instance, since our fortresses and asteroid refineries are the only things big enough to require artificial gravity on that scale. It depends on the equipment in question.”
“That sounds… massively complicated.”
“It is. That’s why the Administration branch is around. They make sure the branches of the civil service are coordinating and do the same for the civil service and the space service, making sure that necessary information reaches the right offices in the right branches of the right service so that they can coordinate. On top of that, they collect data and put it together to get ahead of any problems or spot any trends early so they can be brought to everyone’s attention and be dealt with by the right branch or branches. For example, the Administration branch are the ones who collect the population and consumption numbers the supply branch uses to do their supply calculations. ”
“…that’s what the Administration branch does? They’re… inter-branch messengers and census?”
“I know, right? Everyone jokes we don’t really need Administration, but it would hurt their feelings if we dissolved them, so they get to stay around. But seriously, they do a lot of good work. Someone needs to keep an eye on everything to make sure nothing gets missed, without getting distracted by any other work like building things, moving things or making things. Town and city mayors are part of the Administration branch, and they’re the ones who assesses local data, make a tentative conclusion of what their settlement needs, and forward the data and a request to the relevant branch.”
“Is the Administration branch limited to cities and towns?”
“Oh no, they’re everywhere. Refineries, farms, motorpools, refueling stops… all of them have at least one Administration branch person there to collect information and help do odd jobs in between. All Administration branch personnel report to ether the Administration office of the nearest town or city, or the regional office directly. The regional offices report to Surcease Administration, who analyze everything that comes in to try and make sense of it.”
The alien let out a sound that sounded a lot like a sigh. A part of Jenny noted they had that in common.
“And that’s all the parts of the civil service. Ah, I haven’t thought about all that in years. Excuse me a moment, I need to take a drink. My throat is dry.”
“My apologies for having you speak for so long.”
”It’s no bother. That’s why I’m here, after all.” The alien raised a hand to the lower front part of their helmet, which Jenny supposed was the signal that they were drinking and couldn’t speak.
“Perhaps I should speak for now while you recover. We can return to the topic later. Are there any questions about the Confederacy that you and your people may have?”
The video was silent as the Captain waited for a reply. Eventually, the alien lowered their hand, and Jenny leaned forward curiously, wondering what the alien would ask. What did they want to know about humanity—no, the Confederacy?
“If you don’t mind, could you please explain how the Confederacy lost against the Hegemony? Despite the time it’s been since your war with them ended, we still haven’t been able to decipher exactly how the war was lost.”
