Chapter 9.5: Mission Report
- A failed attempt at a French omelet, which resulted in a sad pile of scrambled eggs, was declared a "work of postmodern culinary art" by the academy's most feared instructor, Chef Morimoto.
- The brutal shredding of a daikon radish has been officially christened a new knife cut: "The Takahashi". I am now, against my will, the inventor of a vegetable preparation technique.
- A catastrophic failure to create a soufflé, resulting in a dense, chocolate puck, was hailed as a "foundational cake" and a "meditation on gravity". There is now a rogue pop-up stall in the courtyard selling unlicensed versions of my failure for an exorbitant price.
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- A student-led organization, "The Society for Culinary Deconstruction," has been formed to study my "teachings". Their primary activity appears to be misinterpreting my pained expressions as Zen koans.
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