TALMAN TALES - NEW WORLD ORDER

  Chapter 5 – “Sticky Fingers Don’t Get Far”

  Our group had successfully grown by one member: Neo, the small but brave boy, joined us on our journey. Neo led us to the next larger region, Brauland. According to him, Brauland was famous for its dedication to beer. Many different breweries competed for the title of “best brewery in Brauland.” A festival called Marktwochenende was, as Neo explained, an annual tradition in that region. So our next destination was clear, and without hesitation we set off.

  Aurelia was kind enough to help a poor man like me with 250 Olevs so I could buy supplies. Neo also got 250 Olevs. The first two days of the journey passed without any particular incidents. But that peace wasn’t going to last much longer—the first obstacle was already waiting for us.

  When we reached a bridge, our path was blocked by an enormous, incredibly muscular goose. In a deep voice, the goose spoke to me: “YOU SHALL NOT PASS.” Then the voice suddenly softened and the creature added, “Unless you give Pablo 3,000 Olevs.”

  I replied, “I’m sorry, but we don’t have that much money. Couldn’t you please make an exception for us?” I didn’t have much hope in my strategy, but Pablo’s answer surprised me anyway. In the span of a single second, the goose stood right in front of my face. I was shocked, but it showed no intention of using violence. Instead, it started crying uncontrollably and said in a sad voice:

  “Pablo is such a bad father. His son Miguel doesn’t want to see him anymore, his wife Xareni neither. He just doesn’t understand what Pablo is doing wrong. It must be because he doesn’t earn any money. Please, just give him the 3,000 Olevs.”

  Then Pablo’s voice rose again. “OR WE MAKE A DEAL. You could help him with something.”

  Pablo then explained his plan. In return, he promised to clear the bridge for us. We were supposed to go into a nearby forest and find a merchant called “Lazy G” there. We were to bring him two packages of a herb called Waldmonster. According to Pablo, you could buy cheap Waldmonster from Lazy G and sell it on for a much higher price. Since we knew the way, we didn’t want to waste any time and headed straight out.

  After about two hours, we reached Lazy G—a gigantic orangutan wearing dark sunglasses and smoking a large pipe.

  I greeted the ape and said, “Pablo sent us. He said you’ve got two packages of Waldmonster for him.”

  Lazy G replied, “I do indeed. BUT THAT DAMN IDIOT CAN HAUL HIS FEATHERS OVER HERE HIMSELF FOR ONCE! HE KEEPS SENDING ERRAND BOYS BECAUSE NOBODY WANTS TO PAY HIS DAMN BRIDGE TOLLS!”

  After that little outburst, we picked up the packages and were just about to head back when Lazy G stopped us again. He handed each of us a pipe—just like his, only smaller. He filled them with herb, lit them, and told us to take a puff. All at the same time, we inhaled—and we all had the same reaction: it was pure happiness. That’s really all I can say about that herb.

  But it was time to go back to Pablo. Time flew; the two hours felt more like thirty minutes. When we finally returned, we handed Pablo the herb. Visibly pleased, he let us cross. Just as we were stepping onto the bridge, we heard Pablo call out to us in a calm voice from behind:

  “Oh, by the way, where are you heading?”

  We explained our plan to travel to Brauland. Pablo just nodded. I could tell something was weighing on his mind, so I asked him if he’d like to come with us.

  He was clearly surprised by the offer, but in the end he couldn’t bring himself to refuse. I could feel the relief flooding through him. Another four hours passed, and we reached a small farm halfway along the route. A real bed sounded heavenly, so we decided to ask the farmer if he’d give us shelter for the night. He refused—until Neo stepped in. Before Pablo could freak out, Neo managed to talk the farmer into letting us stay, using his negotiation skills to secure us a room. After a well-earned rest, we set off again the next morning. One more interruption, however, was waiting for us.

  A group of fifteen men lined up in front of us. Their goal: Pablo’s two packages. Apparently Pablo had crossed paths with them before, because before we could even react, he suddenly roared:

  “BOYS, PABLO ALREADY TOLD YOU ONCE—IF YOU WANT SOMETHING, YOU PAY FOR IT. THE ONLY THING YOU GET FOR FREE FROM PABLO IS A BEATING!”

  And with that, he charged at them. Less than two minutes later, the few men who weren’t already curled up on the ground bolted in panic.

  Pablo apologized to us for the little stop. From my perspective, there was nothing for him to apologize for. I found the whole show quite entertaining, even if it was short-lived. Neo and Aurelia felt the same. The road was now clear, and Brauland wasn’t far away. Another hour passed before we finally saw the city gates for the first time. They were decorated beautifully. By pure luck, the annual festival had just begun.

  The atmosphere was incredible. Vendors of every kind lined the streets: clothes, sweets, food from all over, toys, art—everything you could imagine had its place in the streets of Brauland. The area was so vast that we decided to split up. Aurelia and I explored the left side, while Neo and Pablo took the right. After three hours, we met back at the city gate to report what we’d seen.

  On our side, we spotted an old acquaintance: Edi Edhart had made his way to Brauland too. He had expanded his casino. Meanwhile, Neo and Pablo had managed to sell both of Pablo’s packages on the right-hand side. Each brought in 4,000 Olevs, thanks in no small part to Neo’s negotiating skills. Then, out of nowhere, Pablo got emotional again. On the verge of tears, he said:

  “In all my life, I never had friends to visit a festival with. I haven’t known you for long, but you’re good people. Pablo has never felt this good before—everyone has only ever met him with hatred.”

  That hit all of us straight in the heart. It wasn’t our pain, but seeing Pablo like that hurt. We all did our best to cheer him up—and luckily, it worked. As a sign of his endless gratitude, he gave each of us 2,000 Olevs and promised to support us in our future adventures before heading back to his family. Finally, he pulled me into a hug so tight he nearly killed me. The farewell hurt; Pablo had become a true friend.

  You’re probably thinking I invested my 2,000 Olevs wisely and turned them into 4,000 Editaler. It didn’t quite go that way. I was on my way to drop in on my good friend Edi when, on the way, I kept my eyes open at the stalls for some golden opportunity.

  After a long search, I finally found something that caught my interest. A small place called “Rahmans Feinkost” sold delicious food from faraway lands. The man running it handed me the menu, and I chose the “K?nigstasche.” It was a loaf of bread stuffed with all kinds of fillings you could wish for. It left me 20 Olevs poorer, but there was no way I was going to miss out on that feast.

  I continued browsing and came across another interesting item. A merchant was selling a “lucky box.” You could win different items from this box. Three hundred Olevs seemed a bit steep for that kind of fun, so I decided to try my luck using the negotiation tricks Neo had taught me.

  I said, “Three hundred? Way too high. How about 150 Olevs?”

  The seller shot back, “For 150 I can have your mother for two hours. Get out of my sight, kid.”

  The negotiations were tough, so I had to up my game. Quickly, I said, “Fine. I’ll just go somewhere else; I can get the same thing cheaper and in better quality.”

  The man’s expression changed—he could tell I wasn’t a beginner when it came to bargaining. So he said, “Wait, don’t go. What’s your final offer?”

  My tactic had worked perfectly, and I replied, “I already told you: three hours of your mother’s time is more than enough payment for the product. 150. Final price.”

  Clearly annoyed, he still accepted my offer. And just like that, the beautiful box was mine. The possible prizes were varied: a pair of gloves, a goldfish, a small black animal egg, and as the grand prize, an aquamarine-blue dagger. This dagger was different from the ones the man had on display; it radiated an aura that felt both good and evil at the same time. I was sure I could make good use of it, and at the same time, I had the feeling that this dagger chose its own owner. Two good reasons to shamelessly make use of Pablo’s kindness and finally claim the mysterious box for myself.

  So I handed over the 150 Olevs we had agreed on. While we made the exchange, the vendor glared at me in anger, but I couldn’t have cared less—my eyes were fixed solely on that heavenly dagger. Excited, I opened the box. To my surprise, a wheel popped out of the packaging and started to spin. The prizes were divided by color: grey for the gloves, green for the goldfish, violet for the egg, and gold for the dagger.

  My tension grew as the mechanism slowed down. To my disappointment, the arrow passed straight by the golden field and stopped on violet. I was crushed—but the egg was still kind of cool. For the first time, my inner voice and I were in complete agreement: that dagger had to be mine. I was just about to hand the rude vendor another 150 Olevs when he angrily complained about the price of the box. He found it outrageous that he had let it go so cheaply and demanded an immediate price increase to 350 Olevs. His new demand was a hefty 500 coins.

  That pig was pretty sly, I’ll give him that. He knew how to negotiate. And so, the second round of intense bargaining between us began. I wasn’t about to accept that and countered with a classic trick from the art of negotiation—the so-called “angry customer”. This technique requires a decent bit of acting, because the main goal is to cause as much of a scene as possible.

  Neo had given me only one piece of advice: don’t overdo it. The line between success and total disaster with that tactic was very thin. I started shouting:

  “HEY, EVERYONE, LISTEN UP! WE’VE GOT A SCAMMER HERE! A FIRST-CLASS CROOK! RIGHT HERE! THE GUY WITH THE RED HAT!”

  The vendor recognized his defeat and said to me, “Okay, okay. As a businessman, I have to admit when I’ve been outplayed. You’re the bigger con man. But tell me—are you a cheat with a good heart? Can’t you spare at least 280 Olevs for a poor father who has to feed his son and his wife?”

  Of course I helped him out. My inner voice told me to save face and show my dominance—another rule of negotiation. For the first time, that advice actually made me hesitate, and I was shocked at myself. For a brief moment, I forgot Sensei’s teachings.

  Naturally, I ended up giving him the 280 Olevs. I got the box, and I could clearly see some gratitude on the red rascal’s face. With the words, “You’re certainly a crafty young man, but you’re still a swine,” he handed the box over to me.

  Overjoyed, I took it and opened it again—this time using my nose. According to legend, that’s how you make good luck favor you. I stared at the wheel in anticipation, wondering if my sense of smell could really help. “Luck is mine, don’t be unkind, please let the prize be that dagger of mine!” I said to my inner voice, which I lovingly called “Gotti-Gottfried.” The fine gentleman responded, “An exquisite wish, sir. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of fun with that stabbing device.”

  This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

  Up until now, I haven’t mentioned Gotti-Gottfried, but he became part of me during the five years I spent living on the streets after my parents died. He’s like my sixth sense. During that brutal time, Gotti-Gottfried was my best and only friend. I could always rely on him; he helped me survive when things were at their worst.

  Enough about Gotti-Gottfried—back to the story. This time I opened the box with a clear conscience, since I hadn’t completely ripped the seller off. The wheel started to spin, and the fine gentleman in my head began screaming:

  “YES! YES! IT’LL BE THE DAGGER! IT’S GOING TO BE THE DAGGER!”

  Once I told him to calm down, my headache faded. A moment later, it happened. The wheel stopped, and this time the arrow landed on gold. With pride, I took the aquamarine-blue beauty into my hands. The seller looked visibly relieved to finally be rid of it.

  I examined it closely, and as I did, I flinched for a moment—the dagger spoke to me. Strange words appeared on the blade, and neither I nor Gotti-Gottfried could make sense of them. The inscription read: “Du ozwickta wüst also mei kroft schau zua dast meta gwinnst du lauwoama,” but I had no idea what it meant.

  The red rascal, as I kindly called the vendor, just so happened to have a nice sheath for the dagger as well. I asked him what he wanted for it. To my surprise, there was no third round of negotiations. This time, he wanted nothing for it. I couldn’t accept that, though, and after a long back-and-forth, he finally agreed to take the 50 Olevs I offered. And just like that, the legend of the red rascal was born.

  I now had everything I wanted. The way was clear to Edi Edhart’s mobile casino. Full of joy, I staggered along the path. I was in the middle of a conversation with Gotti-Gottfried about which number I should pick today when my daydream was shattered. A cracking sound, like the snap of a whip, jolted me back into reality. My body shifted into a defensive stance on its own, which was strange—nothing had actually happened.

  I continued walking and literally stumbled across Aurelia and Neo, who were in the middle of a heated negotiation. I was stunned when I saw the master at work. Neo managed to haggle the price of a book Aurelia wanted from 1,500 Olevs down to 500. He had only taught me the basics of bargaining, but clearly that wasn’t everything he knew.

  Before we moved on, we exchanged a few words. I showed Aurelia what I had bought. She dismissed the dagger with a smile, but the egg caught her attention. She had just bought the book Creatures and Beings of Schattental – The Complete Collection, Compiled by Dr. Balthasar and was curious what creature might be inside the egg—but even with the book, she couldn’t identify it. Strange, that a book about all the creatures of Schattental had nothing to say about such a legendary egg.

  I handed the egg over to Aurelia’s care and went on my way. I finally arrived at my destination and was just about to pull out my beautiful turtle-shaped wallet when I noticed it was gone. Someone had stolen it.

  Edi Edhart noticed my distress. He said, “I can tell right away when familiar faces are worried. Greetings, Zeki. Now tell me—what’s weighing on your mind?”

  I told him my wallet had been stolen and I had no idea where it was now. Edi, however, knew exactly where to look. He said, “With a unique wallet like yours, I’m sure it’ll show up again. I saw someone with a turtle wallet heading toward an abandoned house.” He also described the thief in detail: a sort of human–machine hybrid with one blue eye and one red eye, two massive golden steel fists that looked oversized for his body, and hair made of metal spikes like a mohawk.

  With that description, I set out to reclaim my wallet. On the way, Gotti-Gottfried and I fantasized about all the things we would do to that punk. He said, “My good sir, I can sense your mood. You are angry—and understandably so, given such a disgraceful act. Consider carefully what punishment this thief deserves.”

  By then, I had long since offered Gotti-Gottfried to address me informally, but he preferred to remain polite. Eventually, we reached the house in question. It wasn’t as abandoned as I’d expected. Twenty men greeted me with:

  “Beat it, kid. There’s nothing to see here. Get your legs moving, or something’s gonna clap—and it won’t be applause.”

  I found myself in a heated debate with Gotti-Gottfried about our next move. In the end, we agreed that we weren’t going to let such insolence slide. Testing out my new dagger seemed like the natural choice. The dagger itself also put in its two cents, this time with the words: “He Oida, du bist jo sia nt so a wappla wie i glab hob, du Oaschkriacha moch denan die hittn has.” I still had absolutely no idea what it meant.

  I barely had to do anything. The men charged at me at full speed, all of them wielding large swords. The dagger glided through their bodies like butter. It even felt as if the dagger was guiding me, rather than the other way around. Ten men remained. The dagger took out nine of them. For a first outing, that was an impressive result. The dagger truly was a golden find. I finished off the last one of the gang with a “Bi-Shi-Zu Special.”

  At last, I could enter the house. Inside, I encountered a woman with evil written all over her face. My instincts didn’t fail me. The woman, taller than me by a good bit, with gruesome green teeth, red hair, and pink skin, was clearly not someone who did things halfway. The moment she saw me, she opened a small bottle filled with red liquid and drank it down in one go. In an instant, she began to float, and her red hair shone as bright as the sun. My eyes were blinded—though not by her beauty.

  The monster screamed, “I CAN FEEL YOUR POWER, LITTLE MAN. FINALLY, A FIGHT WORTHY OF ME. COME AT ME, AND LET’S SEE HOW FATE DECIDES, YOU WORM!”

  In the next moment, the fight began. She fired scorching hot fireballs from her hair toward me. Those puny attacks couldn’t really harm me; I sliced them apart easily with the dagger. Then it was my turn. I chose my football as my weapon. One shot, one hit—directly into the creature’s stomach. The laughter that followed, however, stunned me.

  Once that wicked laughter faded, she shot toward me at top speed and hit me with a barrage of punches I couldn’t dodge. Gotti-Gottfried had already decided my fate—according to him, the fight was over. The overpowered creature was simply too strong for me alone. Still, I had to at least try.

  When she finally let go of me, I managed to slice off one of her hands with the dagger. She was clearly in pain, but that didn’t make the red-haired demon back down. The next exchange of blows followed. This time, I could actually keep up with her speed, but it didn’t help much. Her strength was on a completely different level than mine.

  For a brief moment, I managed to catch her off guard. It didn’t matter. For the second time, I heard that whip-like cracking sound. The next thing I knew, I was standing in front of the being Edi had described. The machine-man pulled back his arm and hit me square in the skull with his enormous steel fist. I ended up on my back, helpless like a turtle flipped over, unable to move. The fight was over. Fully conscious, I had to watch as the creature grabbed me, took everything I owned, and tied me up in the living room. The plan was to torture me until I finally broke.

  The creature left me alone for the night, saying I should “regain my strength so I could feel even more pain.” The next morning, I endured the worst torture you can imagine. The monster walked straight toward me, forced my mouth open, and poured a bluish liquid down my food hatch. The potion made me relive my worst memories over and over again. For three hours straight, I experienced my sixth birthday two thousand times. Again and again, I woke up in that trash bin next to my dismembered parents.

  When it finally ended, the creature took a break—it fed on my sorrow and pain. Once she’d had her fill, she sat down on a throne made of squeezed, mangled corpses. She said to me:

  “Your suffering tastes especially delicious. I’ll squeeze you dry, down to the very last drop. May you live a very long time.”

  All the while, she let her servant—the robot—stroke her hand with the feather from my wallet.

  I had completely given up hope. But by then, Aurelia and Neo had started to worry about me. After getting Edi’s hint, they found their way to the abandoned house. Just as the red-haired demon was pouring a second dose of that potion into my food hatch to feast on my suffering again, Aurelia and Neo burst onto the scene.

  They fought a fierce battle against the creature. It went back and forth. Aurelia held her ground with the help of her magic. It was an intense fight, but the woman knew exactly how to fight—and how to hurt people. At one point, she said:

  “I can feel how much your past is eating you up. No wonder—you’re the one responsible for your parents’ deaths. You and your pathetic magic—that’s what killed them. The village was right. Your magic will never help you. You couldn’t even give your parents a proper burial, you miserable little maggot. It would be best if you died here and now so no more suffering is created. Your pointless parents brought an even more pointless excuse for a daughter into this world.”

  I knew she had hit Aurelia’s weak spot. Her shield grew noticeably weaker. But then Aurelia remembered our training and turned her greatest weakness—her past—into one of her strengths. She gathered her courage and replied:

  “You won’t bring me down. I’ve already been there, I know exactly how it feels. My weaknesses have been analyzed down to the last detail—not just by you. I know them, and I keep growing past them.”

  I don’t think I’ve ever been as proud in my entire life. My battered body practically lit up with new courage as I watched, with my own eyes, a personal growth in Aurelia I’d never fully seen before. Her shield regenerated, and she even managed to push the creature into a corner with what felt like limitless magic. She was just about to land the final blow when suddenly a whistling sound cut through the air. Not even a second later, a roar followed:

  “OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! PABLO OUT OF NOWHERE!”

  Before anyone could react, Pablo came crashing through the roof with an elbow drop and finished the creature off.

  But that wasn’t enough for the mighty Pablo. He threw himself at the henchman and punched him over and over. Completely unfazed, the robot deflected every blow, but Pablo refused to stop and kept swinging without success. After a while, the hybrid being—whose eyes were no longer blue and red, but blue and green—finally spoke:

  “Hello, I am FF-99. Thank you for freeing me from Red Viktoria’s control. Her grip on me was driving me insane. A few facts about me… uh… what were they again? I can’t remember. Looks like that monster erased my memories.”

  Then FF-99 came over to me, freed me from my restraints, took off his black-and-yellow jacket, and revealed a crystal glowing with white light that lit up the entire room. He grabbed the crystal and placed his huge hand over my wounds. They healed instantly. My wallet was back in my possession as well—not with the 1,500 Olevs I had expected, but with 4,500.

  After that, he turned to the group and said:

  “With these eyes of mine, I can see that you possess great strength. Even though I was under Viktoria’s control and did some… unpleasant things, you still saved my life. Tell me, how can I repay you?”

  We thought about it for a long time. FF-99 was strong—very strong. Our group could definitely use abilities like his. Determination, however, was another question entirely. Aurelia took the initiative and called for a vote on whether we should let FF-99 join the group.

  Neo voted no. “We barely know anything about him,” he said. “Zeki, a few hours ago he beat the crap out of you. He’s nothing but a danger to us.” Aurelia countered:

  “But his explanation is plausible. He was under Viktoria’s control. The moment she died, he didn’t lay a single finger on us. I also have to point out that he healed Zeki’s wounds.”

  She voted yes.

  Pablo said he had no right to decide, since he’d be returning to his family anyway and wouldn’t be traveling with us. So it came down to me. I couldn’t decide what to do with the robo-man. On the one hand, I recognized his strength and his abilities. On the other, Neo was right. I had no way of feeling FF-99’s emotions, since my intuition failed me with something that wasn’t fully “alive.”

  So I said to him, “I only have one question for you. If you answer it correctly, we’ll let you join us, and in return you can support us on our journey. Tell me—where did the 4,500 Olevs in my wallet come from?”

  FF-99 answered proudly, “I won them at Edi Edhart’s. I put 600 Editaler on red 7, leaving me with 2,400 Editaler. Red 7 gave me a return of 8,400 Editaler. With a total of 10,800 Editaler, I then put 1,800 on green 12, but that one didn’t hit.”

  It felt like FF-99 was my soulmate. Red 7 had been my lucky number too. With that, I could vote “yes” without a guilty conscience.

  “I’m happy to travel with you,” he said. “Now that you’re my friends, please call me Stahlfaust.”

  We still had one big task to handle before we continued our journey. Stahlfaust showed us Viktoria’s private treasury: a fortune of 500,000 Olevs. We decided to give Pablo 100,000 of it, because without him, none of us would be alive, and with that much money, he would be able to support his family and maybe repair his relationship with them. We donated 300,000 as thanks for the wonderful festival, distributing it among all the different merchants in Brauland. The remaining 100,000 went into our pockets—four equal shares of 25,000 Olevs each.

  Stahlfaust and I had only one destination in mind: Edhart’s Casino and its precious moments of joy.

  Pablo said goodbye again with another crushing hug that nearly killed me a second time. Neo and Aurelia went off on their own path for the moment. The festival was slowly coming to an end, and they wanted to browse the remaining stalls. Edi welcomed us warmly. His words, as always, were carefully chosen:

  “Grü? Gott, gentlemen. As I suspected—sticky fingers don’t get very far. But I can also see that you two are getting along wonderfully already.”

  We had been sitting at Edi’s table for three hours. Our luck rose and fell, but in the end my 9,000 Editaler were nearly gone. Once again, red 7 had not been the wisest choice. Stahlfaust wasn’t doing much better. Since I had taken red 7, he had gone with black 11—and his 4,000 Editaler hadn’t been enough either.

  We both left the casino with broken hearts. Luck simply wasn’t on our side. As the day drew to a close, the group met again at Rahmans Feinkost for one last massive K?nigstasche. Finally, the sun set, and our group—now consisting of me (Zeki, 14 years old), Aurelia (14), Neo (13), and FF-99, also known as Stahlfaust (age unknown)—set out in search of our next destination.

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