It looked human-shaped, sure, but the way it moved was anything but human.

  I barely caught a glimpse of its twisted face—a mask of wax-tight skin, milky eyes rolling white—and then it opened its mouth and let out a scream like something tearing apart, hurling itself straight at me.

  “Move!”

  A hidden dart shot out of Lian’s sleeve with a sharp whistle. It clinked against the creature a few times, throwing off nothing but sparks. The thing didn’t even flinch.

  Hua, abandoning all gentlemanly grace, swung his folding fan up as a shield and managed to knock the monster’s lunge off by a couple of inches.

  Even so, the gust from its charge slammed into me. I went flying backward, landed tailbone-first on cold stone, and seeing stars.

  The monster came at me again.

  My heart nearly crawled out of my throat. That speed—please—no human moves like that. It was a full-on rabid beast.

  Its fingers were hooked like claws and swiped straight for my face.

  I screamed and rolled aside, and in the chaos caught sight of its eyes—not the cloudy dead-white of the corpse from earlier, but bloodshot red, pupils contracting with a very alive, very murderous intent.

  “That thing before was a Fangmei or whatever. What’s this one supposed to be?!”

  “Gravekeeper,” Lian said coldly.

  The creature crouched low on all fours, shoulders hunched, growling like a cornered predator. Its gaze locked on us… no, on me in particular.

  Apparently I was the weakest link, because it suddenly sprang for me again.

  “Courting death,” Hua snapped. His fan flicked open—except the ribs were now gleaming blades—darting straight for the monster’s throat.

  But the creature twisted its body like a snake, dodging in a way that made my spine itch, and its claws lashed out toward Hua’s chest.

  I nearly lost my soul on the spot. The claws were about to land, and I couldn’t help shouting, “Watch out!”

  Right then, a lazy voice drawled in my ear:

  [You’ve got a divine artifact and you’re over here screaming. What are you, a crow?]

  I froze, almost choking on my own rage. “So what if I scream?! I’m screaming from the depths of my soul!”

  Hua spun aside just in time, narrowly dodging the strike.

  My legs were shaking so hard I could barely stand. I hissed at the system, “Divine artifact? What artifact? Say it!”

  [The purple jade you’re carrying on your chest.]

  My mind blanked. “The purple jade? I sewed that thing into my undershirt ages ago! Big Bro said it’d keep thieves from stealing it. That’s great and all—but I’m about to die here, how am I supposed to dig it out?!”

  Before I even finished complaining, the monster suddenly hurled Lian and Hua aside, spread both arms wide, and lunged straight for me.

  I scrambled away on hands and knees, voice cracking. “System, you said this thing’s supposed to be some monster-slaying artifact—so why is the monster chasing me specifically?!”

  Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

  [Because it recognizes it, obviously.]

  The system’s tone was slow… and just a bit smug.

  “Then tell me how to use it!”

  I hadn’t even finished my sentence when the creature was already right in front of me, jaws splitting open, a blast of foul, fishy breath hitting me square in the face. And the next second—

  With a thunderous crash, it tackled me to the ground.

  I was pinned down like a beetle under a boot, flailing pathetically. But then I realized it wasn’t biting me. Instead… its head was slowly lowering toward me.

  “???”

  It sniffed left.

  It sniffed right.

  Every exhale tickled my chest like it was trying to blow the dust off me.

  My heart shot right up into my throat. I didn’t dare say a word.

  The creature leaned in closer… and closer… its nose practically pressed against the spot where my inner shirt hid the jade. And then—

  “Huuuh—”

  It slumped straight down on top of me.

  Chest-first.

  And fell asleep.

  The world went dead silent.

  Me: “…”

  All I could hear was the monster’s breathing—heavy, hot, and far too close.

  My eyes were about to pop out of their sockets. My throat wouldn’t make a sound, so I screamed mentally for the system.

  System: [Don’t. Move.]

  I almost passed out from rage. “What do I do?! It’s crushing the life out of me!”

  System: [If you calmed down, you’d realize it was after the purple jade. Now that it found it, it won’t kill you right away.]

  “Not kill me?!” I nearly shrieked. “So if I get squashed to death, that’s somehow better?!”

  Right as I was turning into a squished plum, I heard Lian’s cold, low command: “Get up.”

  I rolled my eyes upward with great difficulty. Lian’s face was stone-gray, staring at the creature sprawled across my chest. His fingers whitened around his hilt, ready to cut the thing in half at any moment.

  Hua, meanwhile, flicked his fan open and smiled like a fox. “Well now, this gravekeeper has exquisite taste. Out of all the places to settle down, it chose your chest. Should I give you two some privacy?”

  Lian didn’t move a muscle. He just stared at the spot where the creature lay on me, his expression dark enough to freeze water.

  My heart thudded in dread.

  Oh no.

  Why did I suddenly feel like… the anger wasn’t aimed at the monster, but at me?

  I rolled my eyes and muttered to Hua, “Quit the commentary and lend me a knife.”

  Hua arched a brow, amused. “Planning to finish it off yourself? I’ll give you this—you’ve got nerve.”

  Before he finished, Lian let out a sharp huff and tossed a small knife from his sleeve. His expression didn’t thaw one bit.

  Seeing the gravekeeper sprawled on my chest, fast asleep, Lian’s face stiffened for a beat—as if something deep in him took a hit.

  I could only laugh weakly. I nudged the monster’s head. It didn’t budge. So, bracing myself, I slipped a hand into my inner shirt. The pose was… not flattering.

  Sweating bullets, I wiggled the knife inside my clothes, tugging and cutting awkwardly until the purple jade finally slipped free.

  “Finally… done.”

  I let out a long breath and held up the purple jade for them to see. Then, without warning, I handed it straight to Hua.

  “You keep it.”

  Hua blinked, stunned, the jade dropping into his hand before he even realized it. He hadn’t said a word when—

  The creature suddenly snapped its eyes open with a sharp “swish,” stared blankly at me, then at the jade… and immediately scrambled to its feet to trot faithfully after Hua.

  “Hey—hey hey HEY—?!”

  Hua’s face went sheet-white. He let out a strangled screech and shot into the air, light-footwork flaring like a feral cat leaping onto a rooftop. His steps were so fast they could’ve sparked flames. If he could have run back into his mother’s womb, he would have.

  But the creature stuck to him like a cursed shadow.

  One step forward—one step after.

  He jumped up—the creature never went down.

  He landed—the creature landed right behind him.

  Slow, steady, unshakable devotion.

  I burst out laughing, tears streaming, nearly collapsing onto my knees.

  “Hahaha—! I knew it! I knew it! Looks like it’s decided you’re its mother!”

  Lian’s face stayed cold, though his expression was less stiff now, replaced by something… complicated.

  Hua, however, turned purple with fury, as if he’d swallowed a whole jar of aged bitter herbs.

  “You little brat!” he snarled. “You KNEW the beast recognized the jade—yet you made me take the damn thing?!”

  I flicked my sleeve and smiled calmly.

  “Just running a small experiment. Who knew it’d actually work? Rest assured—while you’re holding the jade, it won’t harm you.”

  Of course, I had zero intention of mentioning the system whispering hints in my ear.

  I was happily gloating… until Hua suddenly snapped.

  He spun his fan and pointed it straight at me.

  “Go bite him!”

  He didn’t even finish the command before the creature perked up, let out an eager “huff,” and bounded back toward me in three happy little hops.