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Chapter 74 - Small Step Forward

  Alex stayed crouched in front of me, her breathing kicked up a notch after I was spat from the solid rock in front of us, but her eyes were sharply examining me. There was no snark left in her voice, only quiet dread barely kept in check after my brief explanation.

  “Hunger… what does that even mean?” she spat, annoyed, like the words tasted wrong in her mouth. “Sam, I thought this fucking place killed you. You disappeared into the wall like it just… ate you. And you told me not to touch it… so why did you?”

  She wasn’t angry, not really. She wasn’t scared either… just confused about what this might implicate; that the pits themselves had taken me, spoken to me, and then returned me.

  I stared down at the jagged stone beneath me, jaw clenched tight. A part of me wanted to lie and pretend it was nothing. Pretend it was just another monster in the walls or something. But I couldn’t… something in me didn’t want to lie.

  I could feel it now… this new piece of Myordrakien that clawed at my insides. Myordrakien’s presence scraped against the back of my skull like a blade being slowly dragged across bone. He was here… more than before. Something I never could have imagined was possible. It shifted my thinking, pushed away more human things in my mind, and kept me focused on big things… those same things I wanted to leave behind a few moments ago. I gathered myself.

  “This place is alive,” I said, voice flat and distant.

  Alex’s eyebrows drew together, but she didn’t say anything.

  “It’s not just tunnels. It’s a corpse,” I continued, eyes still on the floor so I didn’t have to see her expression. “The corpse of a Primeval; of Hunger itself. Its children are still inside here… feeding… waiting. She recognized me.”

  Her silence got louder and heavier between us, like a weight pressing down on her chest and trapping her words. I could see it in her eyes and her body language. This was big… too much for her in that moment. She wasn’t equipped for something like this without preparation. She thought we were just coming down to take out some monsters that hid down here. Now she understood that this place, and I, were much more than she ever realized.

  Alex’s jaw tightened. “Recognized… what?”

  I hesitated just a second too long. That was enough for her to try and piece things together.

  “Something… related to it… a Primeval?” She didn’t understand what that term meant. Her eyes narrowed in a flash of realization that bled through the fear. She connected some dots, and it showed. “That night… in Martin’s bar,” she said quietly. “When I first saw you, I knew something was different. Not human, not vampire, not anything I could sense either. Just… something that didn’t belong. Even the way Martin acted around you was off.” Her voice lowered. “Has that thing been inside you your whole life?”

  The honest answer tasted like venom in my mouth. It was a truth I wished would reverse itself in my darkest times, but that feeling was starting to be eclipsed by something else now. Something I was afraid of… that I was changing as this new piece of Annihilation took root in me. I might not be me for much longer.

  “No… I was normal once, before all this.”

  She just stared at me, and for a split second, I saw something in her eyes that almost looked like… a nervous apprehension, like maybe she was realizing the depth of what she had gotten herself into. Or maybe she was just realizing how little she actually knew me.

  “What are you, Sam?”

  The question hung in the stale air of the cavern like something I couldn’t touch. I lowered my gaze again, jaw flexing. Every instinct in me said not to tell her. Not here. Not in this place where the walls listened. I had no idea what else might be out of sight but still listening to us in this subterranean domain. But with Hunger helping me… I doubted too much could come from it.

  “I’m bound to something,” I said, voice barely above a whisper. “Another Primeval, but older than the rest. Hunger,” I motioned all around us. “She felt it immediately and took me inside to a deeper part of this place. She called what’s inside of me, Annihilation… her brother… in a way.”

  A muscle in Alex’s cheek flinched. She didn’t recoil. She didn’t step back. She just went still, like a predator deciding whether the thing in front of it was prey or something dangerous. Or… that she had become the prey.

  “There's a lot more to that, isn’t there?” she asked, sensing I was telling her things, specifically leaving out certain things.

  “Yes.”

  “And you expect me to just…”

  “I don’t expect you to do anything,” I cut in sharply, then forced myself to soften the tone, even just a little. “I’m telling you because you need to understand what we’re walking into. You came on your own, but this is going to get… intense.”

  She held my stare for a long, suffocating moment. Then, finally, she drew in a slow breath and looked away, rubbing a hand across her mouth. Then she ran her fingers through her red hair and over to the back of her head, sighing as she processed this strange reality.

  “So these pits are Hunger’s body,” she muttered. “A Primeval…” she air quoted.

  “And her children are the Elders. They’ve been here, feeding off her for longer than either of us has been around. They’ve all been hiding from something worse.” I paused, only to give Alex a moment to process the words. “And she wants me to kill them all.”

  “She wants….” This was too much for her at the moment. A jarring shock to what Alex thought she knew. Alex’s eyes flicked back to mine. There was a tired kind of resolve in them; the kind born from too many ugly truths stacking on top of each other. “You really left all this out,” she said quietly. Not accusatory, but just… aware. “Does Martin know… Carter?”

  “It’s not something I just go around advertising,” I murmured as I still sat on the ground. “Only a few people know… And I have to keep it that way. Not for my own sake, but for all of you.”

  She let out a slow, shaky breath… then nodded once. I could see in her eyes, just like I saw with everyone else, that she had a lot of questions building in her mind. However, I also could see her understanding that this wasn't the time or place for those questions. Her eyes darted around the glowing red cavern, knowing that we might not be as alone as we thought.

  Even though Hunger was within the walls themselves, she wasn't necessarily an ally, and I didn’t want to spill the beans about Death or anything related to the Chasse family.

  “Fine. Then don’t talk about it. Just point me at whatever needs killing.” She stood, offering her hand, not out of kindness, but out of necessity. Because we still had a job to do, and neither of us wanted to keep talking about how fucked up this really was.

  I don’t think she really even needed answers. She came down here for one reason: to throw herself at anything that pits had to offer. I think she realized that the gravity of the truth didn’t really change anything for her. So, she just shook it off for the moment.

  I took her hand and let her pull me to my feet. Her grip lingered for half a second longer than it needed to, as if to remind me that she hadn’t walked away, even after learning this crazy shit I had just dumped on her. Then she released me and stepped forward, eyes already scanning the darkness ahead.

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  “Which way, Sam?”

  Her continued commitment to my cause was surprising, but welcomed. As much as I knew this would be dangerous for her… I was thankful she was here. A last link to the surface world as I dove deeper into the earth.

  I swallowed, steadying the tremor still lingering in my hands from the new surge of Primeval power. Myordrakien's form bulged at the seams of his cage as his presence burned brighter in the fires within me. He was there… waiting and ready to be released.

  “Forward,” I said. “Hunger said the first elder is close.”

  Alex gave a simple nod and moved ahead, silent and deadly.

  I followed, the weight in my chest burning like a warning, like a reminder that eventually, I would have to tell her the rest… just not here.

  Neither of us spoke for a long time. The silence pressed in like a weight, broken only by the wet drip of unseen water and the faint grind of stone shifting deep below; the sound of something vast and ancient exhaling in its sleep.

  Alex stayed just ahead of me, her steps ghosting over broken rock as if she weren’t touching the ground at all. But every so often, I felt her eyes flick back, quick and sharp, measuring me. Not looking for danger in the shadows, looking at me. Checking if I was still the person she thought I was. Or if I’d already slipped into something else.

  I didn’t give her much to work with. I was too busy fighting myself.

  Inside, Myordrakien’s will coiled like a snake ready to strike, clutching at the piece of power that Hunger had given back. It wasn’t the full force of his presence I knew waited out in the fields, but it was enough to unbalance me. Enough to remind me that I was no longer steering alone. My heart thundered in my chest… no, two hearts, one here, one pulsing faintly in Death’s domain. Beating together. Echoing through me like I wasn’t just one person anymore, but a bridge stretched thin between souls.

  It was too much. Like hanging on to the handlebars of a runaway motorcycle. The engine was roaring, screaming, unstoppable, and I wasn’t sure if my grip would hold. And the truth was, I didn’t know what would happen if I did let go. Would Myordrakien step forward, swallow me whole, erase me? Or was there even a difference anymore? Every time I’d felt him close, every time I’d called on his strength, the line between us had blurred further. Maybe there was no “me” without him now.

  I thought of Jon, the man who’d held this mantle before me. Had he been different once? Human in a way that I still barely was? Or had Annihilation carved him hollow too, until what walked around was only a reflection of something that used to be Jon?

  The thought made me sick. Made me wonder if the same was happening to me already. I had just been so carefree and content after finding out about Death. I had an inevitable acceptance in me that I found myself missing. I knew the moment it left. It was when Death took the blade. When the blade left, and wasn't keeping my monstrous side fed and happy, old thoughts and fears swelled as the monster’s power and presence swelled within me. It made me feel different… less than me and more… other.

  I shook my head hard, trying to rattle it all loose, and let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. The sound carried too far in the cavern.

  That was enough to make Alex stop. She half-turned, crimson hair catching the faint glow from the fungus slicking the walls that almost looked like gore running down the cavern. Her voice was softer than I’d ever heard it, stripped of sarcasm or sharp edges.

  “...Are you okay?”

  And there it was. The thing I didn’t expect, but here it had appeared… her concern. The one human thread still tugging at me in this abyss I was walking through, physically and mentally.

  I didn’t answer her at first. Not because I didn’t hear her, but because I didn’t want to. My head was still ringing from the way the cave had chewed me up and spat me back out like rotten meat. My ribs ached with phantom pressure, like the piece of Myordrakien couldn’t fit inside of me anymore. Every step felt wrong, like I wasn’t walking on my own legs anymore.

  And then there was Alex, watching me differently. Not just amused or mocking, but like she’d seen something inside me that she couldn’t unsee after I told her a sliver of truth about this place… and me. Like I wasn’t just Sam anymore. The Sam she knew, at least.

  I hated it. I wanted to claw my way back to something familiar, even if it was just our old rhythm of biting at each other’s throats… figuratively. I didn’t like the shift inside me, let alone her reaction to it. It made me fear for the reactions I might get when I got back up topside. How would Carter or Eleanor look at me if they felt the difference? How would Autumn feel when she looked at me… if she ever did again?

  I had to shove that down quick. I couldn’t dredge up that shit… not down here. I had to stay focused. I had to stay monstrous.

  “What… no more comments about how I’m a pervert?” I finally said, my voice rougher than I meant it to be.

  Alex tilted her head back, her crimson hair sliding like blood down her shoulders, eyes narrowing in a way that told me I’d caught her off guard. For a moment, I thought she might stay serious. But then her mouth tugged sideways, a fang catching the edge of her lip, and that wicked smirk returned like a blade sliding out of its sheath.

  “Oh, I still think you’re a fuckin’ pervert,” she said, her tone snapping back to that sharp, playful cruelty that always dug into me deeper than I’d admit. “I just figured I’d let the poor little monster catch his breath. You looked like you were ready to cry out a little whimper after getting swallowed whole. All tuckered out?”

  She leaned into the words, condescending, like I was nothing but a fragile thing dressed up in claws and shadows.

  I felt the corner of my mouth twitch, something between a snarl and a smile. “Please, if anyone was watching, they probably thought I was trying to get away from your bullshit.”

  She hissed out a laugh, low and predatory, eyes burning brighter. “Come on… barely got the bat off your shoulder that time. Be more creative,” she shook her head in disappointment at my weak comeback.

  My smirk sharpened as we walked forward into the dark, the weight in my chest easing just a little. It was petty, it was stupid… but it felt like back to old times. And right now, I needed that more than I wanted to admit.

  We continue like that for the next little while, walking in darkness only illuminated slightly by the red haze emanating from the jagged stone walls.

  It wasn’t until I felt the thrum of heartbeats farther down the tunnel that our verbal sparring finally died. I’d just called her a bitch with no morals, and I could see on her lips the start of a comeback she’d been holding onto for a few minutes. But I didn’t let it land.

  The pulse-sense I’d been letting echo through the stone since Hunger spat me back out had just snagged on something. Not just life further down the tunnel, but resonance. A return signal that didn’t feel like mine at all… but similar. Something wrong… but something familiar. And then the Primeval inside me answered the question I hadn’t yet formed.

  A voice like bone splintering under teeth ripped through my skull, a growl that wasn’t sound but a quake in my marrow.

  “HUNGER!”

  It wasn’t a revelation, but recognition. My pulse hadn’t just bounced back. It had collided into me… us. The sense of my Primeval had brushed up against a shard of its sibling, one of the relics Hunger had spoken of.

  I snapped my hand out, palm up, stopping Alex with a suddenness that made her body coil tight like a spring. She caught the shift in me instantly. Her eyes sharpened into bloodfire, scanning the dark ahead with that predatory instinct of hers.

  “What is it?” she hissed, voice cutting low, as if the stone itself might be listening. “Where?”

  I exhaled, my voice trembling against the pressure of claws and teeth pushing outward through my skin. “Far down the tunnel. Maybe half a mile. Ten smaller ones, maybe vampires, maybe worse. Not a real threat.” The words grated through my jaw as my teeth lengthened, blackness crawling over my eyes. “But there’s another… strong… and dangerous.”

  Her breath caught at my words. I could see the confusion in her mind when I said, ‘not a real threat.’ That didn’t make sense to her. But… she wasn't me.

  “An elder?”

  “Yeah,” I muttered, my throat breaking into a growl as the monster coiled harder around my ribs. “I think so.”

  Her pace faltered for the first time. The weight of the word “elder” seemed to land on her shoulders, bowing her just slightly. Stories, rumors told in smoke-filled rooms, whispers Martin had probably fed her. Those were one thing, but here, in the bowels of the pits, where the air was thick with the rot of ages, stories turned into flesh and teeth.

  I surged a step forward, my voice cracking as it warped, deepening into something less human with every syllable. “Stay behind me. Take the lesser ones. Leave the elder to me.”

  The command surprised me as much as it did her. It didn’t sound like an order spoken by a man; it was closer to a verdict. Something darker bleeding through me.

  Alex didn’t argue. She just adjusted, slipping into step a few feet behind, her eyes glowing like twin cuts of fresh blood in the dark. Whatever humanity I sometimes thought I glimpsed in her… her sarcasm, her snark, her feigned indifference was gone. Now she moved like what she truly was: a predator built to kill.

  We stalked forward in silence, stone grinding beneath our boots like brittle bone. The tunnel pressed in around us, suffocating and alive. Every drip of water felt like a heartbeat. Every shift of rock was like the stir of something breathing just under the surface.

  Inside me, the cage rattled. Myordrakien pressed against the bars, clawing, snarling, demanding release to go after the elder. This wasn’t like Death’s summons, clean and absolute. This wasn’t a name etched into my skull with inevitability. This was raw need. My need to kill. The one thing Myordrakien urged in me to sate the only hunger he had… the hunger for Death. It was our need now.

  In the back of my mind, under the scrape of claws against the mental cage, I felt the truth thrumming in my veins. He knew it… and I knew it.

  It was almost time to be free.

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