Always A Provider

  “Eralla! Eralla!”

  Lylla yelled, waking me up. My eyes winced open to the sight of Lylla staring down at me with her big beaded black eyes similar to mine.

  “What is it, Lylla?”

  My voice came out groggy. I barely got any sleep last night. Lost in thought about whether we would receive a reply or not.

  Lost in thought about her.

  I rubbed my eyes, looking over at Lylla, who had joy written all over her face.

  “What is it?”

  “Come outside. Come outside.”

  She grabbed my arm, pulling me up.

  “What has gotten into you?”

  She wasn’t this energetic before. She had always been gloomy. All the time. Must be something that has gotten into her.

  She pulled my arm, getting me up from the ground. I followed after her, heading outside to check out what was going on. There seemed to be some sort of celebration happening outside, people cheering loudly.

  I spotted Ma and the others. I rushed over to them.

  “What is going on, Ma?”

  I asked.

  “The signal. Someone is coming to save us.”

  My eyes widened. Someone received the signal.

  “Really!?”

  “Yes. The elders have told us all to head to Aktoe*. That is where they will come.”

  The elders weren’t smart enough to know that — it must be Aourine’s idea. I kept that thought to myself.

  Aktoe, despite being the largest village, held around 500 people, and now the entire population of Ma-Oktava* was here. Everything was crammed together.

  How long before whoever answered would come help us?

  “Hold Gibralla’s hand tighter, Koralla.”

  Ma said to Koralla.

  Instinctively I tightened my grip on Fattaralla’s hand while she hummed in the crowd. People pushed against each other. It was a mess.

  Everyone gathered in Aktoe hours ago, yet no one has heard any recent news.

  The elders have shut themselves in the halls, probably to ignore the mess outside.

  Was Aourine with them?

  “Eralla!”

  Fattaralla called out from behind me. My head snapped back to see her hand had slipped out of my grip.

  I was lost in Aourine’s thoughts again not to notice my family.

  I pushed people aside to reach for her hand. Once I did, I held on tightly, pulling her in front of me. Resting my hands on top of both shoulders, I pushed her to move further along.

  “How much?”

  Ma asked the vendor selling the tettara*.

  “133 toukkina per tettara.”

  Ma looked over at me and then at the pouch she carried, holding the few toukkina* coins we had left. A tettara would usually sell for 3 toukkina, and Ma would sell her clay pots for 10 toukkina. Now Ma didn’t have enough money to buy tettara for any of us.

  The collective population gathered in Aktoe had caused tettara’s price to skyrocket. Also, no runners have gone out hunting for the past 13 days. Everyone has been running on the reserve, which wasn’t a lot.

  I shook my head, gripping Fattaralla’s hand tighter.

  “Let’s go back.”

  “But…”

  “Ma, we are wasting our time here. We need to head back.”

  We all turned around, heading back to the outskirts, back to the rest of my siblings, who had been anxiously waiting.

  “Ma! Ma!”

  Somala called out, getting up from the rock and running towards the five of us.

  “Ma! Did you get food?”

  Quen-alla asked, looking up at Ma.

  I let out a sigh, letting go of Fattaralla’s hand so she can be on her own.

  Everyone was hungry. Starving. Quen-alla was looking forward to eating after a whole day. It seemed he lost his hope.

  Ma plopped down on the ground, coming close to crying.

  I settled down beside her, placing a hand on her shoulder to give her support. She was trying her best.

  Gibralla joined in, hugging her. Then Osamalla, Tiballa, Batharalla, Soralla, Somala, and her twin Lylla, Koralla, Fattaralla, Quen-alla and lastly Motalla came to hug everyone from behind.

  We huddled over each other.

  No one spoke.

  There was nothing left to say that would fill an empty stomach.

  So we held each other instead.

  “Quen-alla, I will make sure you won’t go hungry tonight.”

  I leaned down, staring into his amber eyes.

  He nodded his head, looking up at me with his innocent eyes. He was just four years old, and hunger hit him harder than the rest of us. Food was necessary for him to grow and run fast.

  I looked over at Ma, who was sitting on the ashy gray rock with her head hung low. I walked over to Ma, sitting down beside her.

  “Ma…”

  “I am heading over to Rotana* to get tettara.”

  Her head snapped towards me, eyes orange from crying.

  “No. No, you can’t go there. Death is waiting for anyone who goes there.”

  The collapse of Saktak* flashed before my eyes.

  Orange-tinted blood painted the dark ground.

  I shook my head, snapping out of the painful trance.

  She grabbed my forearms, shaking me slightly. She was losing her mind with worry.

  “Ma, nothing would happen to me.”

  I tried to calm her down, but nothing was working with her.

  “No. I will not allow you to go.”

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  “Ma. I must.”

  I insisted.

  “Quen-alla is hungry, Batharalla is crying, and Soralla is annoyed because she has to look after him.”

  I got off the rock, settling down in front of my Ma’s feet. I looked up at her.

  “Ma… I must go to gather the tettara.”

  “Ma…” I waited.

  She gave me no response. Her gaze was fixed on her lap. I knew her fear of losing me, like she lost Fa. Still, I have to fulfill my duty of providing for my family.

  I stood up, looking over towards Quen-alla, who was playing alongside Gibralla, who was trying to make him forget about his hunger.

  I turned around, walking towards Motalla, who was braiding Fattaralla’s long, coiled hair like mine.

  “Motalla, come here.”

  I gestured, pulling her away from Fattaralla.

  “I am going to collect tettara. I need you to look after Ma, alright?”

  She crossed her arms, putting on a snoopy expression.

  “Don’t get hurt out there. I don’t want to become a runner.”

  “I understand. Just look after everyone until I come back,” I whispered to myself, “Maybe… after they come for us, no one will have to run anymore.”

  “Alright.”

  I turned around, walking away from my family.

  “Eralla.”

  A voice came from the side. I turned my head towards it and saw Ougine’s younger brother, Suvgine. He was the same age as Quen-alla.

  “Suvgine.”

  “Eralla.”

  He rushed towards me, grabbing my hand and pulling me along with him.

  “What is it?”

  “Come with me.”

  What was wrong with every child? Pulling me along as if I were a rag doll.

  He pulled me into a nearby hut, which was empty except for a woman sitting in the corner. There were satta* and pots like back home, the air thick with cold ash and old smoke.

  “Giseine.”

  She didn’t lift her head to look at me. Just stared down at her lap like a grieving Maa-a.

  My footsteps were as quiet as guilt, as I entered the hut.

  Suvgine didn’t follow behind me, standing by the door. I also didn’t force him to do it. I could tell she was still grieving Ougine’s death.

  Did she hate me for it?

  Of all the 33 runners, I was the sole survivor.

  I settled down beside Giseine, who still didn’t look up at me. I sat there, unsure of how to reach out.

  Would Ma also feel like this if she were to lose me?

  I knew the answer. I also knew I didn’t want Ma to go through it.

  “Giseine,” I said quietly.

  “Giseine…”

  “Giseine…”

  I hesitantly reached out when she didn’t respond. Placing a hand on her shoulder and jostling her.

  She snapped out of whatever thoughts were running through her head. She finally looked up at me with a tearing gaze.

  “Eralla…”

  “Giseine… I am sorry about Ougine.”

  “Ougine…”

  Her head fell down onto her lap once again. As if she had given up hope.

  I let out a sigh, looking outwards towards the wall across from me.

  “I… I wanted… I tried…”

  Words crumbled on my lips. How do I comfort her? I can’t comfort my own Ma, so how do I comfort someone else?

  Motalla could do it. So will Koralla and Soralla.

  But not me. Not me.

  “I am sorry…”

  Words trembled as they escaped my lips. What more could I say?

  I didn’t try everything to save Ougine. I thought I did, but I didn’t.

  If only I had not gotten ahead to get the ripened tettara and was with Ougine… he would have lived.

  “Ougine… loved you. He wanted to settle down with you. Yet you…”

  My eyes widened when she brought that up.

  “He wanted to have a family with you. Continue yours… our lineage. But…”

  A broken sob escaped her.

  Orange-tinted tears dripped from her eyes, falling down onto her clothes.

  He never outright said it to me, but everyone wants to settle down with the person they love. Like how my Ma and Fa did. Like how I want to…

  Aourine. I could have never settled down with her.

  But perhaps… if I had let my heart open and accepted Ougine like Ma wanted me to do then perhaps…

  It would have been safer for him…

  Yet now, there was nothing I could do to reverse it.

  The quiet tension in the hut pulled at me. Until I couldn’t bear it any longer.

  I stood up, looking at Giseine one last time before heading out of the hut. I spotted Suvgine playing with his other siblings just like mine.

  “Suvgine!”

  “Suvgine!”

  I called out, walking over to him. He broke off the game and dashed over to me.

  I leaned down slightly.

  “Have you guys eaten?”

  He shook his head.

  “No, Ma can’t afford it.”

  Same situation as my own.

  “Alright. You look after your Maa-a and I will bring over tettara.”

  “Do you have money?”

  “No. I am going to Rotana to get the tettara.”

  “You can’t. That is dangerous. No one’s allowed to go there.”

  “This is a secret,” I said quietly. “Keep it to yourself.”

  “But-”

  “Think of me as your provider. I will provide for your family along with mine.”

  I patted his head before turning around and walking away from the hut. Away from my family… to provide for them no matter that.

  This is what Fa would have done.

  And what Ougine did not get the chance to do.

  ?

  Txetia Glossary

  Satta (Sat-tah) — means “mattress”

  Toukina (Touk-ki-na) — the currency on Valconalla

  Tettara (Tet-ta-ra) — means Mushroom. They are long, tube-like slimy with a thick brown shell. The only source of food found in 317.

  Saktak (Saak-taahk) — One of the 8 active volcanos on Valconalla.

  Aktoe (Aak-toh) — The capital village of Valconalla. It holds approximately 842 citizens. The elder of the village is Ouubuutt(Oh-bu-th)

  Ma-Oktava (Maa-uuk-ta-va) — Local name for the planet. Also means mother lava.

  Rotana (Row-ta-nah) — The volcano closest to Aktoe