I woke up bleary eyed and confused.

  How did I fall asleep sitting up? Why does it feel like a train ran me over twice?

  I tried to stretch my fingers, my hands stiff. What was I holding onto so tight? I recognized his scent – a musk with citrus overtones – before I turned my head up to look at him.

  He turned his head down to look at me as he noticed my movement. “Good morning, starshine.”

  “The earth says hello,” I automatically finished without thinking. My voice was raspy, my throat hoarse.

  Michael smiled at me for finishing the line, brushing back a tendril of hair that was snagged in front of my ear. His gaze turned concerned. “How are you feeling?”

  “Honestly, feel like shit.” I balled my fists together and rubbed at my eyes. “Slept so light after… that, that I feel like I got no more sleep.”

  I slid off his legs – poor things must feel dead by now… wait, can that happen without pumping blood? – and stretched my back, hearing cracking sounds as I did so.

  I grimaced and groaned, “Ugh, I hate mornings.”

  Michael offered, “Should we get fancy coffees on our way to work this morning? Or do you need to call in?”

  “And you call in too? I think Trevor would flip his lid. I like your coffee idea.” I walked toward the bathroom, stepping back in shock at my reflection. My eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, my face itchy with dried tears. “Yikes, I look a mess!” I turned my head side to side, the view not getting any better. “Do we still have ice?” I called out from the bathroom.

  Sheesh, I look like I KO’d in a fight I didn’t sign up for.

  Michael’s tone was confused as he replied from the other room, “I think so, why?”

  “Can you get one for me?” He did so, holding it in his hand. I was surprised it wasn’t melting that fast, then I remembered again – right, vampire.

  I grabbed it from his hand, the cube immediately beginning to melt in my fingers. I rubbed the ice on the puffy bags under my eyes, hoping the cold would calm the swelling. I could kinda conceal dark eyes but nothing would hide those bags.

  It did bring the swelling down, though not as much as I would have liked. It would have to do; I was not that patient. I was grateful I had showered the night before and only needed to get dressed, leaving the bathroom available for Michael to get ready.

  I sat at the table, eating a bowl of Lucky Charms. Some adults would give up sugar early, but not me. Especially after a night like last night, they’d have to peel that box of Lucky Charms from my dead fingers. Thinking of dead fingers made me think of Nikola’s cold fingers on my throat. I shivered, deciding today’s outfit would need to have a scarf added. I definitely needed a fancy coffee today, maybe a mocha…

  I picked a forest green infinity scarf, not caring whether it was out of season or not. It felt warm and comforting around my neck, the material softer than any other scarf I owned, earning it a spot among my staples. I wrapped it around my neck like armor.

  I passed the mirror, checking my reflection. Did I look like I got only a couple hours of sleep?

  No, it looks like I’ve gotten at least a few.

  I rolled my eyes at the joke in my head and left, turning off the light.

  Michael looked up as I walked in. “Ready to go? Also, do you care whether or not we arrive at the same time today?”

  I thought about it. “I suppose it doesn’t matter as much if it's only occasionally.” I didn’t want to think about what it meant that I wanted him so close.

  ? ?? ?

  We decided to hell with it for the day, and I was grateful. After last night, I needed Michael closer for my own comfort. We stopped at one of the million Starbucks in the city, me getting a venti mocha and a danish and Michael a venti caramel latte with a muffin.

  We made our walk in relative silence, and I was alright with that. I really didn’t want to talk right now, even with Michael. I just wanted to enjoy the smell of my mocha in the Seattle air, not wanting to drink it while it was still volcanically hot. Michael didn’t seem to mind burning off his taste buds as he sipped at his drink. We arrived and rode the same elevator up to our floor.

  “Oh!” I heard in front of us. Sarah was walking by, a manila folder in her arms. “You guys got here at the same time, how fun.” What was with the look she was giving me? “See you later,” she said, continuing to walk past. That smile, passive aggressive, like I had taken something she thought was hers.

  I turned to Michael. “Would you mind taking my coffee to the desk? I want to wash my hands after that danish I had.” He took my cup and headed for the desk while I headed to the washroom.

  Opening the door, the strong scent of industrial soap permeated the room. I walked in, not noticing that someone had followed.

  I had washed my hands and had just hit the air dryer button when someone grabbed me and slammed me into the wall.

  Nikola, he’s found me!

  My vision cleared from the whiplash and it wasn’t Nikola, but Sarah holding me.

  “What the… What are you doing?!”

  She had me pinned. It was just me and her. She pushed the button to the hand dryer as it stopped, keeping the sound going. I pushed against her. Nothing happened.

  There’s no way she can be this strong, she’s not moving at all! Her strength, it’s supernatural, what the hell?!

  “You told me that Michael wasn’t seeing anybody.”

  When had I ever made that claim?!

  “And as soon as I start showing interest, you both come in at the same time holding venti Starbucks? Like, what the hell, Drew? What about honor among women?”

  I pushed against her. “I literally have no idea what you are talking about, Sarah! So what if we both brought Starbucks, it’s Seattle! There’s one on every corner! And we happened to catch the same elevator, big deal.”

  She grabbed my arms and slammed me against the wall next to the sink, using her arm to pin my shoulders in place. The back of my head hit it. Stars flashed. She growled. Animalistic.

  Oh God, how do I get out of this?!

  “I’ll show you big deal,” she hissed, pulling her hand back for a slap, her hand splayed open and fingers curled. Her nails – were they… longer? Her mouth, her teeth were changing…

  At that moment, someone tried to open the washroom door. Discovering it was locked, they knocked urgently.

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  “Hey, whoever is in there, would you please unlock the door?” They sounded a little desperate.

  If looks could kill, Sarah would have murdered me right then.

  She shoved off the counter, unlocking the door and fixing her face with a pleasant smile. “Oh, sorry! This lock is just so loose, it loves to lock by itself.” She walked out and another woman from our floor hurried into a stall.

  I pulled myself together, straightening my outfit before leaving. I couldn’t help looking back and forth as I opened the door, not wanting to be suddenly ambushed again.

  Is she gone? That was scary, what the hell has gotten into her?

  I walked over to the desk, a little faster than I usually did. I took a sip of my mocha – just the right temperature now – then a bigger drink before setting it back down.

  “Hey.”

  I looked up at Michael, expectant.

  “You okay? You seem… a little off.” His eyes searched my face as if he could tell just by looking.

  “I’m fine!” I said a little too quickly. I cleared my throat and said, a little quieter, “I’ll tell you at lunch, okay?”

  He wasn’t satisfied but sat back anyway, knowing I wouldn’t say anything more.

  I took a sip from the cup. Warm, sweet, reliable. My heart rate evened out. If ever there was a day for a venti mocha, it was today.

  ? ?? ?

  The rest of the morning I was on edge, keeping a wary eye out for Sarah. Michael continued to keep an eye on me, monitoring my behavior.

  At lunchtime, we decided to go to the Subway down the street.

  “Sarah did what?!” Michael whisper-yelled at me, trying not to draw attention. We were both in line, waiting to be served. He looked around as if someone might overhear.

  I half turned to him, trying to be heard over the business of the place. “Sorry about teasing about someone having a crush on you. What she ended up having is definitely… unhealthy.”

  His eyes were wide. “Yeah, no kidding! Thanks for the heads up. Are you sure you’re okay?” His genuine look of concern was trumped only by his now wary eyes.

  “Yeah, I’m sure I made it clear enough to Sarah that there’s nothing happening between us.” I shrugged it off, acting like it didn't matter. But was I downplaying it, or was I avoiding how shaken I still felt?

  And about nothing happening between us… Did I want something? Was I willing to try?

  Only one college kid manned the counter. I was surprised, given it was lunchtime and it was a popular spot. Whatever the reason for it, the poor guy looked frazzled, having to juggle sandwich making and running the register.

  I figured even if my order was a little wrong, I’d cut the kid some slack. I was paying attention to the poor kid, and I didn’t notice the look of pain that Michael made after my comment.

  I was still struggling to process what Sarah did and my body felt on edge. I was being startled by everything it seemed.

  A man with dark hair bumped into me as he passed.

  Nikola?! He found me?! My breath caught in my throat.

  No. No, not him – just a man with dark hair. Still, it took too long for my heart to stop racing.

  The kid took our orders, making the sandwiches quickly. We picked a back corner table to eat. I unwrapped my sub and took a bite.

  “She seems so normal. It always seems to come out of nowhere, doesn’t it?” Michael commented, poking his straw through the lid of his drink.

  “Sure felt that way to me.” I sipped my drink. “Felt like I needed to let you know, with that level of crazy.” I always felt Sarah was a little off, but this was a new level.

  “So if she had stayed “normal,”” he emphasized the word with his fingers, “You’d have never told me?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe. Didn’t really think much about that conversation afterward.” I popped a chip into my mouth, crunching on it.

  “Really?” He looked unimpressed, tilting his head and crossing his arms.

  “Mm hmm.”

  Liar. Oh, I can’t help but think about him, wishing it was him. He’s the only one I could think of who I’d even want to have pursuing me. He’s the only person I feel safe around lately. Maybe that’s all I wanted – someone I didn’t flinch away from.

  I could not help but try and keep an eye out on everyone lately, trying to identify if there was anyone in particular who might fit the bill. I couldn’t figure it out. Everyone was acting the same way they always had. There wasn’t anyone who I wanted it to be. No one I’d admit to anyway.

  ? ?? ?

  We ate our lunches, occasionally bringing up things we had observed at work. Michael smiled at something I said, and I realized we were just two people eating lunch, not coworkers unraveling trauma. It felt… nice.

  The kid at the counter was doing his best to keep things rolling, but that did nothing to help with the noise. Why did they always play music in these places? I couldn’t hear my own voice at times. Regardless, we talked, doing our best to ignore the noise in the background.

  Michael bantered, “Did you notice Garrett’s frosted tips? It just screams NSYNC.”

  I feigned indifference. “I was thinking more Backstreet Boys, but same difference.”

  He looked comically wounded, a hand on his heart, his mouth agape. “You dare?!” I gave him a look of surprise, earning a laugh. “I don’t know the difference either, I just know that my older sister probably would’ve had it out with you if you had said that to her.”

  I picked up my sandwich. “That’s right, you said before that you had sisters. What’s this one like?”

  His eyes flashed pain but he smiled. He used his napkin to wipe his fingers. “She was amazing… She passed away recently.”

  The way his smile didn’t meet his eyes, I knew I had accidentally stepped into something raw and recent.

  I felt immediately nauseous and put down my sub. “Oh my God, I am so sorry! Oh,” I felt like an idiot. I wished immediately that I could take it back, but it was too late.

  ‘Would’ve.’ He used past tense.

  “Really, it’s alright. It still hurts like hell to think about it, but she was the best. She was studying to become a doctor of oncology. She was only a year away from graduating and starting on her own.”

  I wished the ground would open up and swallow me whole. I looked down at the wrapping of my sandwich, splattered with dressing and shredded lettuce.

  “I didn’t mean to bring up painful memories.” I couldn’t look him in the face.

  “It’s not your fault, I brought her up.” He gave a sad smile and took a sip of his drink.

  I paused before asking, “What was her name?”

  “Cara.” His smile got broader, then sadder. The silence felt unbearable.

  I couldn't believe that I had exacerbated such a recent wound.

  “She was into boy bands?” I fidgeted with my scarf, the soft knit silky against my fingers, my lifeline.

  His face brightened and he chuckled. “Oh yeah, she was a total fangirl. Her room was covered in posters of different bands and musicians. It's funny, she was usually such a neat and tidy person, except the moment you walked into her room, then all the paraphernalia was front and center and all around. It looked like a mess, but it was her own organized chaos. Whenever anyone mentioned trying to clean her room a little, she’d retort that it was clean, for her anyway.”

  Michael took a moment to take out his phone, checking the time. “She was always so sure of herself – the most confident person I knew. I’ve always tried to be like her in that way, following her example. It's why I’m so outgoing at work, even though it’s not always natural for me to do so. I guess you could say I’m channeling her personality a little bit.”

  I tried to keep eating but I had lost my appetite. “She sounds wonderful. I wish I’d have had a chance to meet her, she sounds nice.”

  “She was, the nicest. We’re going to run out of time soon, you better finish your sandwich.” He continued to eat, taking bites out of the sub.

  I was grateful that I hadn’t gotten a full sandwich. I managed to barely finish my six inch sub. We walked back to the office, the lunch crowd making me feel claustrophobic. We chatted until we saw Sarah waiting for the elevator.

  It was an awkward ride, the three of us. Michael, bless him, talked amiably with Sarah, acting none the wiser about her outburst in the bathroom. He decided to continue talking to her while I walked to the desk, maybe trying to cement in her brain that Michael and I weren’t… Well, it didn’t matter.

  He started walking to the desk when Sarah stopped him. He returned to her. I couldn’t hear what was said, they were too far away.

  “Looks like she’s going in for the kill.” The voice came up behind me out of nowhere.

  Oh my God and what the hell! This man!

  I leapt out of my chair with surprise. “Damnit, Trevor!” I complained.

  “I promise I wasn’t fully intending to frighten you.” He wore a self-satisfied smirk, “I just didn’t make an effort to alert my presence.”

  Asshole.

  I glared at him.

  “But what do you think? Sarah’s one of the girls who’s been pining after Mike since he started working here.” He looked down at me. “You’d know if you bothered to talk with everybody else more often.”

  I instantly bristled, feeling defensive. That last bit stung. He wasn't completely wrong, but that didn’t make it sting any less. I did talk with everybody else, I just didn’t like to.

  And earlier, Sarah was acting extra strange. Was that partly why Sarah attacked me? I rubbed at my arms, still feeling her arms pushed up against them, almost squeezing.

  Was Trevor just observant, or was he catching on to something?

  Michael started walking back, Sarah nowhere in sight. He noticed Trevor beside me, a look of concern flashing over his face.

  I shrugged my shoulders as if to say at least he didn’t touch me.

  “Hey Trev, how’s it going,” Michael threw our way as he approached.

  “Hey Mike, what’s up? Just chatting with Drew about something. Idle gossip.”

  Michael gave Trevor a sharp look and nodded his head. His entire demeanor seemed to say you better be being nice.

  “What’s our workload look like now, Drew? Anything new?” He changed the subject as he walked to his side of the desk.

  “A couple new things, but nothing marked urgent. We’ll have plenty of time to get to them before they are due.”

  Trevor took that as his cue to leave, heading back toward his office.

  Maybe I do keep too much to myself, but that doesn’t mean I deserved all this. But, was Trevor right? If I stay closed off, what will it cost me?

  I sipped my lukewarm mocha. Safe. For now.

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