Blueprints were not part of the regular Crafter skill set, and while Noobkitty was learning fast, technical drawing was not one of her talents. In the sand, she had scratched out a series of lines, mostly rectangles, and offered only one word of explanation.

  "Tongues," she said firmly.

  "Tongues?" asked the group in unison.

  She nodded, sipping her enchanted fruit drink, her mind racing on a mix of high-potency, non-alcoholic buffs.

  "Are you sure you didn't spike her drink?" Grimmblade asked the Demon Lord.

  "I did not," Morlax replied. "The Administrator was very clear: no alcohol for the cat unless she has a leash on her first."

  "Pffft," Noobkitty scoffed. "Putting a leash on a cat almost never works. And I’m not drunk; I’m just brilliant. Now... tongues." She tried to redraw her rectangles with more emphasis.

  Grimmblade sighed and pulled some parchment from his inventory. "Does anyone here actually know how to draw?"

  Ms. Poffin, who regularly sketched for her fashion designs, started to volunteer, but Skidmark beat her to it.

  "I got this!" The goblin rushed forward, grabbed the paper and a marker, and started drawing something that looked like... a long building with spiral bits, an arched door that didn't actually fit the frame, and chaotic notes like: "Pool," "Fire pit for souls or grumpy fish," "Bounce-dance room!" and "Church room?"

  "See? Skidmark understands," Noobkitty agreed.

  Veloura and Morlax looked at the drawing dubiously. The succubus held out her hand for the marker. Skidmark shrugged and handed it over. She began adding notes like Massage Parlor and Bar. She drew two wings with the word Rooms underlined, then scribbled Dining Hall... as it turned out, she wasn't any better at drawing than the goblin.

  Unable to resist the joke, KitE set aside her instrument. "Leave this to a true creative." She took the marker and wrote: Stairs to Hell, Kitchen of the Damned, Spooky Watchtower (Lighthouse), Vomitorium, Fighting Pit, Demon Servant Storage.

  Noobkitty looked at the page. It was a mess of scribbles, lines, and permanent-marker chaos. She nodded in approval. "Yep. This works. I'll get started." She looked at Grimmblade. "I need four thousand wood planks, five hundred posts... actually, triple that. And find some cool colored woods. Preferably red. Everyone has their tasks? Good."

  She immediately began pulling wood-carving tools from her inventory. The crowd looked back and forth between the frantic cat and the nonsensical drawing. ExpertBunny stifled a snort as she scrolled through the list of enchantments currently coursing through her fiancée. Coro?en had decided that drink enchantments only lasted an hour, but they were much stronger now. Noobkitty had downed five different drinks; the combined effects made a case of Red Bull look tame.

  This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

  Active Buffs:

  130% Inspiration, 140% Wakefulness, 110% Skill Success Rate, 90% All Energy Types, 111% Focus, 200% Stamina Recovery, 40% Chance to Scream Randomly.

  She had forty minutes of peak efficiency left, and she’d likely bully Morlax into making fresh batches before the timer ran out.

  "Where’s my WOOD, Grimmblade?!" the cat demanded, followed by a sudden, random scream.

  Grimmblade started dropping boards and logs from his inventory. The moment the first one hit the sand, wood chips began to fly.

  Ms. Poffin looked at the "blueprints" and realized they mildly made sense if you squinted. She brought out her own sketchbook and started drawing actual rooms with measurements and estimates. Morlax offered her a drink to help with her focus, but she looked at her sister Noobkitty, who was currently a blur of saws and shavings, and declined.

  "Um, we probably don't need two manic Lylas at the same time," Ms. Poffin told the tall demon. "Maybe when I'm doing the sewing."

  "Fair," Morlax said, stowing the drink. "Are you and your sisters susceptible to stimulants?"

  "We can get used to them," she said, pointing to Püf, and KitE at the bonfire, sipping rum like it was water. "But in life, we were lightweights. We have to be careful; there’s a family history of addiction."

  ExpertBunny walked over, checking the sketches. She looked at Ms. Poffin with a smirk. "Luckily, I know my Noobkitty’s addiction. A day of manic energy or a night of drunken farm-buying is fine on occasion."

  "What's her addiction?" Morlax asked.

  ExpertBunny winked playfully. "Me."

  The demon nodded. "A powerful addiction indeed. You can convince a soul to do almost anything with an addiction like that."

  "Speaking of," Ms. Poffin said, pointing to a room Skidmark had noted. "What are we doing about this space?"

  ExpertBunny looked at the demon. "How do you feel about an open-air courtyard?"

  "If you want my servants to be able to enter, you'd have to be careful," Morlax mused. "An apple tree would be on theme, though."

  ExpertBunny sighed. "I know where to get one. We'll also grab a few more guests." She turned toward the bonfire and yelled, "Püf!"

  "Yeah, Bunny?"

  "I need you to go back to Starter, please!"

  Püf grumbled as she stood up and walked over. "Who am I picking up now?"

  "Me and my Yak," the Admin replied.

  "But... you're right here," the pirate said, confused.

  "I won't be soon." EB turned to the whirlwind of sawdust. "Sweetie! I need a fast-travel to Starter!"

  Noobkitty perked up, wood flakes falling from her fur. "Mrew? Now? But... people will see us."

  "Please. I need to get GYOAT," ExpertBunny said, already laughing at the looks on everyone's faces.

  In her manic, energized state, Noobkitty pulled a sharp kitchen knife from her inventory. She approached her wife while the crowd watched in a mix of confusion and horror. Noobkitty kissed her fiancée with passion and whispered in the bunny’s ear, "See you soon, my love."

  ExpertBunny’s eyes widened as the sensation hit, the knife sliding perfectly between her ribs and into her heart. She whispered back, "You're getting better. That barely hurt. I expect you to tell me everyone's reactions when I get back..."

  Her data began to pixelate as she de-rezzed, her soul being sent to her respawn location in Starter Town.

  "You two are messed up," Grimmblade said flatly. SisterQuery, who had witnessed this "respawn-travel" before, just shook her head.

  The best reaction, however, came from the demons. They looked genuinely horrified as Noobkitty cleaned her knife and tucked it away.

  "Okay, so... tongues," she said, turning back to her tongue-and-groove wood prep.

  "What the heck?! I just said we needed a tree!" Morlax screamed.

  Püf shrugged, lighting her pipe. "I guess the Yak has one. Couldn't she have just used a teleportation scroll, though?"

  Grimmblade nodded. "Yes. Yes, she could have."