My first act, once all was said and done—once I knew that Tiger and Panther were safe—was to put him in a very small room.

  My second was to rip away his paltry human guise.

  And the third—

  HOW DARE YOU.

  "Well," smirks The Eye, "how else was I supposed to get your attention?"

  I proceed to flood that little room.

  I dwarf him.

  I drown him.

  And I tell him—

  YOU NOW HAVE MY FULL ATTENTION.

  "I'm flattered."

  EXPLAIN YOURSELF.

  He does not. He is pacing the length of his prison, taking stock of his surroundings with faint amusement. For the first time in a long time, his speech is clear and smooth, unburdened as he is now by the limitations of a clumsy human tongue. "Interesting," he remarks, rather than properly respond. "To be honest, even this is more than I had expected from you."

  YOU HAVE FAR OVERSTEPPED YOUR BOUNDS.

  BARAS TOSCHT WAS A SIDE CHARACTER.

  TIGER AND PANTHER ARE MY PROTAGONISTS.

  "Is that really how we're going to do this?" The Eye chuckles. "You're just going to shout at me through your narrative? You won't even argue in your own voice?"

  THIS IS MY REAL VOICE.

  "Sure it is. Just like this is my real face."

  YOU SEEK TO UNDERMINE MY STORY. YOU ENDEAVOR TO DERAIL MY NARRATIVE.

  "Oh, please. Tiger and Panther were never in any real danger. It's common knowledge that they are currently your favored specimens, and your name still carries some weight in some circles—for reasons that utterly escape me, I might add. I suppose they just don't know you like I do, Truth-Teller.

  If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

  THE DANGER IS IRRELEVANT. YOU ATTEMPTED TO SPOIL THE TWIST.

  "An offer which was steadfastly declined, and would scarcely have been believed."

  YOU SHOWED THEM THE HOUSE.

  "Ah. That, I confess, was just a bit of fun...but besides, what does it even matter? I did not compromise the agreement. They do not comprehend what they have seen."

  IT WAS A RISK. A NEEDLESS ONE. AND IT WAS IN EXCEPTIONALLY POOR TASTE.

  "Truth-Teller, my dear friend—I am the living embodiment of poor taste."

  YOU ARE NOTHING MORE THAN A BANAUSIC LITTLE IRRITANT.

  "And you are every bit as unbearably soporific as I remember. Honestly, this whole faux-outrage routine galls me. All this querulous whinging about your precious narrative, when we both know that it is all about to come to a violent halt. We both see it clear as day—the calamity fast approaching. The end of the human race."

  I WILL NOT SUFFER THIS DISCOURSE ANY FURTHER. THE CATACLYSM IN QUESTION IS A MATTER OF YOUR OWN MAKING. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO WHISPERED IN THE EAR OF TARO ZHON. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO HAS DAMNED MY STORY WITH AN ANTICLIMACTIC, UNSATISFYING CONCLUSION.

  "So fix the ending then, you fool! You're the writer—just edit the cataclysm out!"

  TEN THOUSAND AND ONE TIMES I HAVE TOLD YOU. I DO NOT WRITE MY STORIES. I CREATE AND CONTROL NOTHING; OF MY CHOSEN CHARACTERS, I ALONE AM PRIVILEGED TO TELL THE TALES OF THEIR LIVES. THEY ARE THE ONES WHO ACT. MINE IS ONLY TO WATCH, TO REMEMBER, TO RECOUNT. I DO NOT EDITORIALIZE. I DO NOT ALTER. AND I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT INTERFERE. I AM NOT A SHAMELESS MEDDLER LIKE YOU.

  "You are so nauseatingly full of shit. You could resolve the calamity in an instant. You could have any ending you like."

  AS COULD YOU.

  "No. This matter has eclipsed me."

  YOU ARE INSENSATE. WHY DO YOU FIGHT SO ARDENTLY TO PRESERVE THE HUMAN RACE? YOU HAVE LONG DESPISED THE SO-CALLED 'LITTLE THINGS' THAT I SO DEARLY TREASURE.

  "You misunderstand me. I do not despise the little things, Truth-Teller. I love to hurt them; to see them writhe, and weep, and die in such dismal ways. Bereft the human race, I would be bereft my most-favored source of entertainment. And that I will not abide."

  YOU WOULD KNOWINGLY SABOTAGE SAID ENTERTAINMENT, THEN BESEECH ME TO SAVE IT?

  "Destruction, malice, unraveling—these things are simply my nature. I am that I am...and at least I actually bother to exercise my power."

  CROSS ME AGAIN—INTERFERE WITH MY STORY IN ANY WAY—AND I WILL EXERCISE MY POWER, AGAINST YOU AND YOU ALONE.

  "Hmm. Rather clumsy of an ultimatum, isn't it? By the standards of a self-avowed storyteller."

  A THREAT NEED NOT BE SO LOQUACIOUS.

  "Ah, there you go! Loquacious—now there's a good word."

  I HAVE MADE MY POSITION CLEAR.

  STAY AWAY FROM MY PROTAGONISTS.

  "Or, what?"

  "Ha. That's what I thought. You are indeed nothing more than a sad paper tiger. And you will indeed stand idly by whilst all humanity draws to a close."

  "What a waste."

  DO NOT TEST ME, KAALO.

  "...when your test comes, Truth-Teller, I will not be the one to administer."

  "Anyway. I've other business to attend to. Farewell for now, dear one."

  "I am certain that we shall speak again, come the end of the world."

  End Credits Theme