Feargus

  An Excerpt From Zack’s Journal

  My brother confronted Florea at last, and seen through his eyes, it ended as expected: with conviction but no clarity.

  When Feargus Finlay expressed his uncertainty as to whether my brother could destroy Florea—that he hadn’t seemed capable of physical violence—well, understand that my brother is capable of much worse. But who can blame him? After what had been done to us both: by all those who took advantage of our dependency upon them. The life of servitude to the people, and to the stage, all amounting to a death sentence for my brother. He was the one who was allowed to be angry—the one who was allowed to act out. And I was the one who had to remain in control—to compensate for his impulsive decisions, to come up with the excuses when he would disappear, to make certain he would come home alive and that no one would hurt him again. In any case, convincing Avis to realign Florea will be a challenge—perhaps a practical impossibility. My wife has devoted her life to eliminating suffering where Sebastian would demand she deliver it. Either way, I hope I see him soon.

  We didn’t linger in the flower cellar for long. Sebastian insisted we get out while he still had his dignity, and with Florea trapped in ice again, I gave him one last look before we filed up the stairs. By the time we stepped back out into the snowy streets of Jaska, I’m not sure Sebastian even realized he was crying. I wasn’t about to tell him, even if—and especially because—my heart was breaking for him, mates. The cold air dried the tears quickly anyhow.

  We all knew there was a lot to talk about, but Sebastian wasn’t ready, and with Strauss and Rhian in Zacharias’ time bubble, and with most of the crew still at the theatre, Everleigh was eager to get back to the others. She claimed she wanted to check up on Abby Blaze, but I reckoned she wanted to stare at Riz some more.

  We hit the road straightaway, walking like civilized people through the city before booking it toward Verena.

  When we finally arrived at the theatre, Jakob still hadn’t awakened the others, saying he wanted to wait for us to get back to keep everyone organized. I thought about Zack then, and I hoped he was having a nice time with my sister and Strauss.

  Once everyone was up and at ‘em, we packed up into our wagons and hit the road. Alexander was still missing, but Evelyn explained he’d gone home to see about some house guests and to get some rest. We all know which house guests those were, and we all know Alexander could probably use a minute to himself.

  Meanwhile, I had plans of my own. A few, actually.

  But for now, in a wagon with Sebastian and Addie, and Riz and Everleigh at the reins, I slept all the way to the Widow’s Peak. At that point, we were all looking forward to getting home, so Michael and Markus went inside alone to pick up some food for the ride. While they were busy doing that, Everleigh and Riz went for a walk after saying he wasn’t used to sitting so long. More than likely true, but it was also Riz, so—

  Left with Addie and Sebastian, I snuggled in between them, even if the opposite bench was entirely empty. We caught Adeline up on what happened in the cellar.

  “How awful, and what a difficult decision that must have been, mister Vonsinfonie.”

  “It certainly wasn’t my favourite,” Sebastian said.

  “Are you really going to ask the Artist for help with the Florist?” Adeline wondered.

  “No, I only need my daughter to stop lying to me. Perhaps when she returns from her vacation, she’ll be more willing to cooperate. But I haven’t changed my mind about Avis.”

  So, I wasn’t alone in thinking Everleigh was fibbing, and if anyone knew her better than I did, it was definitely Sebastian. As far as her motivation for lying? Well, I reckoned she was helping our agenda along before she left on her trip, trying to push Sebastian toward Avis.

  “Mate, I bet I know what would make you feel better,” I offered, because I know what almost always made me feel better when I was performing fine. Zack didn’t say I reminded him of his fun-loving (and love-loving) brother for no good reason, my friends.

  Sebastian draped his arms across mine and Adeline’s shoulders. “Well, I can’t wait to hear this,” he said.

  “Seeing as I slept with your ex,” I started, “I reckon it’s only fair if you sleep with mine.”

  Sebastian side-glanced me.

  Adeline straightened her posture, turning inward to look in my direction. “Does that mean we’re going to visit Della and Derek?”

  “Aye, but we shouldn’t stay too long. Zack will have left his invitation for us at the base, and we ought to answer it as soon as possible.”

  “Zacharias can wait,” Sebastian declared. “Derek, though—is that the handsome gentleman whose home we visited to pick up the keys to the Jaskar?”

  I smiled winningly. “The one and only.”

  “Then yes, Feargus Finlay,” Sebastian decided with another one of his dazzling smiles. “That would make me feel better.”

  Everleigh and Riz dropped us off in Jaska. The crew still had to travel to Istok in order to return the horses and wagons, and then they would have to walk back to the base to pack some things for their journey and say their goodbyes. Since we probably wouldn’t be there, we said our own farewells just outside the Jaska city gates.

  “It’s been beyond wonderful getting to know you both,” Evelyn said, giving me and then Adeline a tearful hug. Adeline sniffled and held on for dear life.

  She and Evelyn had become quite close. I’d find out later Adeline had been going to her for love advice. Even though it wouldn’t repair the damage her own mother had done, I was glad she’d had a decent one around for a minute.

  “Tell Rhian I love her,” Evelyn continued once Adeline had peeled herself away.

  “Evelyn, we ought to get going,” Rhydian chimed in from behind, but Evelyn shot a loaded look over her shoulder, stepping over to Sebastian next.

  “I can’t even begin to describe what an honour it’s been—and to hear you play!”

  Sebastian took her hand delicately, bringing it to his lips for a kiss. “The honour is mine, Misses Green. Rhian Sinclair is supremely special to me, and I promise you, no harm will come to her or her unborn child while I have anything to say in the matter.”

  Evelyn smiled warmly, and Rhydian grunted. Which, in Sinclair-speak, translated to, “That’s nice, but shut your trap so we can go.”

  After saying goodbye to Sebastian, Evelyn joined Rhydian heading toward the wagons, but before stepping off, Rhydian shot back, “Tell Rhian I love her, too.”

  Riz didn’t know Adeline too well yet, but he was friendly and uncharacteristically not flirtatious—for the Gloom-flower’s sake, no doubt. When it was my turn, he pulled me in for a hug, and I shoved a couple hundred notes in his pocket when no one was looking. “Whatever it takes, mate, give her the best time of her life. She deserves it.”

  Riz ruffled my hair, turning his hug on Sebastian.

  Everleigh shuffled over to me and Addie.

  “Hi,” she said.

  “I love you,” Addie offered. “I hope your trip is everything you’ve ever dreamed.”

  Everleigh stared. “Okay.”

  I nodded along with the sentiment. “Aye, and I love you, too, mate. I bet you’re gonna have so much fun, but maybe try to smile a wee bit. It makes the good things feel even better.”

  Everleigh stared some more—one, two, four seconds—and then she wrapped her arms around my waist and squeezed. After a moment, she went around to Addie and did the same. By the time she reached Sebastian though, their eyes were glassed over, but whatever they said to each other didn’t require words. They just held hands for a minute, and then Sebastian leaned over and kissed her on both cheeks. When she turned to leave, he pointed two fingers toward each of his eyes, and then one finger toward Riz.

  Riz answered with a double thumbs-up.

  That was the last I’d see of the pair for a while, but seeing as you’ve probably read Riz and Everleigh Go to Sea, you should already know they had a grand time.

  And I reckon we can all agree: a really, really strange time, too.

  The first time Sebastian came with me to visit Della and Derek was around the time Everleigh had gone missing. But Sebastian had been invisible while Derek gave me the spare keys for the Jaskar, so he hadn’t actually met the Tragers. It was a weekday and still early enough that I was reasonably sure the kids would be in school. Other than getting Sebastian laid, there was a deeper reason I wanted him to get to know Della and Derek.

  A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  While Sebastian fixed his hair, and Addie was barely able to contain her excitement, I knocked on the door with the bronze heart.

  Ten, twenty, twenty-seven seconds until the Tragers answered the door together.

  “Oh, shit,” Derek said with a playful grin. “It’s You.”

  “And Adeline,” Della added. “I was really hoping to see you again, love.”

  Addie squeaked and we stepped inside, motioning Sebastian along as well.

  “And who’s this?” Derek looked from Sebastian to me with a familiar twinkle in his eye.

  I answered with a wink while Sebastian straightened his tie and extended a hand.

  “Sebastian Vonsinfonie,” he said.

  Della and Derek shared a bemused glance before Derek shook his hand. “Derek Trager.”

  Turning to Della next, Sebastian took her hand and laid a kiss to the top.

  “Della Trager,” she said.

  “How delightful,” Sebastian remarked. “And what a lovely home you have.”

  “We like it,” Derek answered. “I guess we’d have to after… how long have we lived here now?” He looked to Della. “Two hundred and twelve years?”

  “Two hundred and thirteen,” Della corrected helpfully.

  With introductions handled and our coats taken, Della led everyone to the sitting room. Derek and I hung back away from the others while we walked. He looked to me with an arched brow. What a fox, and now that my steed-related problem was—well, no, never mind. I wasn’t there for me, was I?

  I nudged my head toward Sebastian as if to say, “What do you think?”

  Derek pointed to me questioningly.

  I shook my head.

  Derek pointed to himself questioningly.

  I nodded.

  Looking like he’d just been hit over the head with a frying pan, I smiled winningly and Derek released a held breath through a thin space between his lips.

  “Aye, thought so,” I said, and we grinned like fools the rest of the way to the sitting room where, actually, nobody sat.

  While Derek whispered something in Sebastian’s ear, Della whispered something in Adeline’s ear, and I fished around in my bag for a cracker and ate it. I needed something to keep my mind occupied and my hands busy because I was feeling pretty good about myself, if I do say so.

  Derek laid a hand across Sebastian’s shoulders, and, looking a bit flushed, Sebastian was happy to oblige with whatever idea Derek had planted in his ear. So, much like V had once done for me, I shooed, Sebastian waved, and the two made their way down the hallway together.

  Meanwhile, Addie scampered over, and Della looked, giving us the illusion of privacy.

  “Agent Finlay,” she said quietly, “is it all right if I join Della for a practical lesson in the other bedroom? I have questions.”

  Maaaaaaaates.

  Obviously, it was all right, and I gave her an affirming kiss before they both left, too.

  When everybody was gone, I finally sat—alone on the couch. Thirty, thirty-seven, forty-two seconds before I spotted the book on a table across the way. It was the same book I’d read to Adeline in the bath the last time we’d visited the Tragers. So, while Addie and Della did their thing, and Sebastian and Derek did theirs, I took my boots off, laid across the couch, and put my feet up.

  I’d been dying to know what would become of Marlena and the sexy gardener.

  By the time Derek and Sebastian returned to the sitting room, I’d finally reached the part in the story where Marlena and the sexy gardener were about to give into temptation. My life, mates. I closed the book and set it on the table, swinging my feet around so the lads could sit.

  By the looks on their faces, they’d had a grand time. And by the sounds of things, Addie and Della still were. Lucky for me, I’d get a colourful recap later.

  We three squeezed on the couch together, and with Derek and Sebastian still in their robes, we all had a good cuddle. I’d later find out that Sebastian hadn’t been with anyone since Vincent, and while six years wasn’t a whole lot relative to his thousand plus, it was still a long time.

  “So, Derek—what’s your story, darling?” Sebastian asked.

  “Feargus didn’t tell you?” Derek asked.

  “He’s implied you and Della are incapable of the violence and vitriol often exhibited by our kind, and that you and Della are among the kindest and most trustworthy people he’s known.”

  Derek gave us both a squeeze. “All right, well, the truth is, I’m actually perfectly capable of violence, and I wasn’t always so kind.”

  Sebastian looked shiftily toward me.

  “No, I mean, I haven’t been violent in over three hundred years,” Derek explained, catching the glance. Sebastian relaxed against the couch.

  “When Della and I decided to be turned—”

  “Decided?” Sebastian asked, his tone curious. “Why in Creation’s sake would you do that?”

  “Well, I could say we were misled, seduced by the glamour of it all—and we were—but really, we were just so in love that the idea of eternity together was pretty hard to pass up.”

  Sebastian looked shiftily toward me—again.

  Mates, he was on to me.

  “Is this why you brought me here, Feargus Finlay?”

  “More or less,” I answered. “Plus, you know—Derek.”

  Sebastian ran a hand over his perfectly smooth cheek. “I do know.”

  “What’s going on?” Derek asked.

  “Has our meddlesome man of mystery and mayhem told you about Florea?”

  Derek split a glance between us. “The Florist?”

  “Yes—Florea the Florist, how inelegantly appropriate.”

  Derek and I chuckled.

  “Right,” Derek agreed. “I know about what… happened, yeah.”

  “I didn’t tell him the rest,” I said to Sebastian.

  Derek arched a brow, and Sebastian sighed.

  Whatever was going on over yonder in the bedroom was spicy, and frankly, I was a touch worried things were about to become another version of spicy in the sitting room. But Sebastian seemed resigned more than annoyed, and that was the best I could hope for at the moment. I listened while he explained his history with Florea to Derek.

  “Good for you,” Derek said. “It’s the right thing to do.”

  “To fix his fragmentation and force him to feel the weight of what he’s done?”

  “Yeah,” Derek answered. “I doubt I would have been able to stop doing what I did if I didn’t feel the weight of it, and if I didn’t have Della to help me.”

  Sebastian narrowed his eyes.

  “No, don’t get me wrong,” Derek corrected, “I’m not saying you should have stayed with Florea or that any of this is your fault. No one should have to put up with the way Florea treated you. What I’m saying is, it makes it easier when you have someone rooting for you. It was actually Zacharias’s research that helped Della help me.”

  Sebastian sighed.

  “Look,” Derek continued with a cuddle, “he may feel the weight, and decide he needs to change. He may feel the weight, and never be the same again, broken—which it sounds like you’re going for, to whatever end. But he may not feel the weight of it at all—even if stitched back together. His mind might refuse accountability because of the weight of it, and then you have another decision to make.”

  I rubbed my beard.

  “It’s a non-issue at this point,” Sebastian remarked. “I won’t be asking my sister-in-law for her assistance, and I won’t force my daughter to help me if she says no again.”

  “Wait, your daughter?” Derek asked.

  “Everleigh Gloom.”

  “No—really? Wow, okay. Well, she’s been great to work with,” Derek commented.

  Sebastian nodded as if that should be common knowledge.

  It was around then the lasses emerged, also in their robes. Mates, there were a lot of fine people in robes at the moment, and it was tricky to concentrate. But they looked happy, and that made me happy. Della and Addie settled in together on the big chair.

  “Della could help you,” Derek suggested.

  “Help who with what, love?” Della asked.

  So, because Della hadn’t been roped in on most things, we decided to tell her everything—everything I’d already told the others, and everything about Florea.

  Flabbergasted, Della looked between the lot of us. “I have so much to say about all of that. But first, I would absolutely help Florea, but you know because of my condition, I can’t if the intention would be to harm him for the sake of harm.”

  “Condition?” Sebastian asked.

  “I’m incapable of committing violent acts. It’s always been that way—we think it has something to do with my swearing myself to a code of healing as a physician when I was alive. We think it’s actually supposed to be my curse, but in my opinion, I lucked out.”

  “Fascinating,” Sebastian remarked. “But as versed as I am in theatre, I’m not certain even I could perform a convincing reframing of my intention. I’m not looking to help Florea.”

  “I get that. There were days—weeks, months, probably—where I wondered what kind of person it made me for supporting Derek through his rehabilitation, which really wasn’t going so smoothly at first. I could have made a case for either choice, and I would have been right. You were the one who was harmed. Your friend was harmed. Those young men who can’t speak for themselves were harmed. How you approach their advocacy is entirely up to you—and Feargus, too.”

  “I appreciate your offer of assistance, and you’ve given me plenty to think about,” Sebastian said. “Let’s move on to other matters.”

  Della nodded. “Yeah, actually, about the other matters—” she looked to Derek, “—why haven’t we been helping them?”

  “You know why,” Derek said.

  “What these people are doing is too important to sit back on our hands, Derek. There are ways to help without exposing ourselves to violence, besides.”

  “For what it’s worth, you’ve both been plenty helpful,” I reminded them.

  Adeline caught my eye from the other side of the table, and we shared a subtle smile.

  “Still, there must be some way we can help,” Della insisted.

  “Della," I started, “I’ve been trying to keep you both out of our mess, not only because of Derek, but because you’ve got a family now.”

  Della waved dismissively. “And your sister’s about to have a baby. Is that going to stop her from changing the world?”

  Sebastian and Derek each looked to me, their eyebrows raised.

  Adeline scoffed. “Absolutely not,” she said. “Nothing stops Enforcer Rhian.”

  Derek regarded his wife—two, four, five seconds before he nodded. “Okay, what can we do?”

  What could they do? Well, I hadn’t been expecting this at all, so—

  What. Could. They. Do…

  Mates. I knew exactly what they could do. But first:

  “I know exactly what you can do,” I said to Della. “But first, someone please tell me: what happens with Marlena and the gardener?”

  Della laughed. “It’s a Delphi romance, so, the gardener gets run over by horses pulling a trade wagon the day before they’d planned to run away together.”

  “So it’s a tragedy,” I suggested.

  Adeline grinned and Sebastian shook his head.

  “Still a Delphi romance by design, Feargus Finlay,” he said. “Because Delphia belongs to me, and as I’ve been known to say: romance breathes only one breath away from tragedy.”