Though we finished earlier than usual, I wasn't in the mood to celebrate.
The moment I killed that Goblin was still burned into my mind, tormenting me. Combined with my period arriving, my mood hit rock bottom. I couldn't hold back anymore and rushed to the bathroom to vomit.
After throwing up, my churning stomach finally settled somewhat.
"Damn it."
Could I really handle being a Hunter like this? I didn't want to rely completely on Si-hyun.
On the way home, Si-hyun remained considerately quiet in the car.
"Want to get a drink?"
I suggested alcohol to wash away my terrible mood.
Even though I'd embarrassed myself drinking with Si-hyun before, and it was somewhat awkward, I just wanted to drink right now.
We went to the same barbecue place as last time and started grilling meat while drinking.
Honestly, I'd worried the sensation of stabbing the Goblin would make it hard to eat meat, but it went more smoothly than expected.
As I quietly ate the delicious grilled meat and drank glass after glass, my mood gradually relaxed.
"Si-yeon, are you really okay?"
"What?"
Of course he'd be concerned. My condition had been poor ever since killing the Goblin.
"Can you keep going?"
This wasn't him looking down on me. I could feel his genuine concern. No need to get angry.
Calm down, calm down.
"I already made my decision. I'll stick with it. Though it's definitely painful."
"If that's how you feel, you should be fine."
Fine... It was a problem. But I could handle this much.
The beginning is always the hardest. The second and third times will be easier.
"I'm really fine. Actually, I think experiencing this early was good."
That's right. If this had happened during real combat, something unexpected might have occurred, leaving both Si-hyun and me seriously injured.
It was like getting a preventive shot. I encouraged myself with this thought.
I absolutely couldn't give up because of something like this.
After finally Awakening my Ability, quitting would be pathetic. Even though I have a female body.
"Stop drinking."
Si-hyun snatched my glass with startling intensity. Remembering last time, I didn't complain and let it go.
After quietly finishing the remaining food, my stomach was completely full.
This time I paid the bill, then we left the restaurant.
Outside, the cool night breeze cleared my drunkenness.
Si-hyun seemed worried I might get drunk again. I understood why. Given all my past mistakes, his concern was natural.
I'd never truly given Si-hyun reason to feel at ease about me.
Maybe that's why? I suddenly wanted to show him my determination.
Normally, I could never say these things. But today was different. The right amount of alcohol gave me courage I usually lacked.
"I'm going to be a Hunter. Since I've decided, I can't quit over something this small. I can't remain unemployed forever. But... if I'm too weak and hold you back... Would you still stick with me even then?"
"Of course. Aren't we friends?"
Si-hyun looked somewhat happy.
Friends...
I couldn't help but chuckle. What I'd done for him didn't amount to even a fraction of what he'd done, yet this guy always called us friends and helped me. He was so kind it made me worry someone might take advantage of him someday.
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Though this guy was more outstanding than me, I needed to look out for him more to prevent that situation from happening.
After saying these embarrassing things, we agreed to meet tomorrow and went our separate ways home.
That night before bed, I worried I might have nightmares from the shameful confession, but surprisingly I slept soundly through the night.
-
In my dream appeared a young Si-hyun.
We were playing together at the playground - my childhood self and Si-hyun. In the dream, I was a girl.
I couldn't understand why my dream self appeared as a girl, but Si-hyun and I were genuinely having fun, though we occasionally argued. Still, our smiles in the photos showed genuine happiness.
The sweet dream ended there, but its clarity remained after I woke up.
"Hmm... why was I a girl in my childhood dream?"
The dream felt so detailed it seemed like a real memory. This made me wonder if it actually happened, so I pulled out the photo album from my bookshelf.
I almost felt like crying when I opened it - most photos were of Si-hyun and me together, proving how problematic my social relationships really were.
I finally found the childhood photo taken at that playground from my dream.
In the picture, I was beaming with a bright smile while Si-hyun looked somewhat shy.
Since my memory of this was vague, I spent a long time staring at the photo trying to recall. Gradually, many forgotten childhood memories surfaced.
Though I didn't remember why I'd forgotten them, these memories were crucial to understanding my relationship with Si-hyun.
Yesterday's events must have triggered this dream.
The fragmented memories kept coming...
Si-hyun had been handsome since childhood and very popular. The problem was girls fought to play with him while boys mocked him as a "sissy."
Whether he knew this or not, young Si-hyun always wanted to play with the boys, who wouldn't let him join their group.
Isolated by boys and causing conflicts among girls, Si-hyun suffered in his friendships.
In this situation, there was one boy who played with Si-hyun - me.
I didn't care about other boys' opinions or girls' reactions, focusing only on playing with Si-hyun.
That's why young Si-hyun asked me:
"Does playing with me cause you trouble?"
"What does it matter! You're more important to me than anyone else!"
"Really, I'm not bothering you?"
"It's fine because we're best friends! Even if it causes trouble, we should stay together forever!"
The situation was practically the reverse version of what happened yesterday.
Was that it? How could I have forgotten these memories?
Thinking back, Si-hyun had indeed been excessively good to me. Not just during middle and high school, but even after we became adults and started working, he remained the only one who kept in touch with me.
I sometimes wondered why this outstanding guy treated me so well...
Yesterday's memories resurfaced. I remembered the embarrassing things I'd said to Si-hyun. Those words I could never have spoken without alcohol were exactly what he'd said to me in childhood.
"Ugh..."
I'd long forgotten these things, but that guy seemed to have kept them in his heart all along.
That fool Seong Si-hyun - was this why he kept treating me well even when I insulted him and caused him trouble?
No matter what happened in the past, it seems I've received too much from Si-hyun and it's time to repay him.
-
-
When I arrived at the cafe on time, Si-hyun was already waiting as usual.
After ordering coffee, I sat across from him.
"Did you get home safely yesterday?"
"Yeah. More importantly, we should focus on business today."
Today's business was planning our Gate expedition.
First, we needed to decide which class of Gate to target, and the choice was unquestionably D-Class.
E-Class Gates spawn Monsters even ordinary people can handle easily, and their Magic Stones are too small, so they were out of the question.
C-Class would be too difficult for me, leaving D-Class as the only natural option.
Among Korea's 400-plus Gates, over 150 are D-Class alone.
The real purpose of today's meeting was deciding which specific Gate to visit.
While waiting for our coffee, Si-hyun had already prepared filtered Gate information.
A quick glance showed no Dungeons with humanoid Monsters, apparently after witnessing me yesterday, he thought the timing wasn't right yet.
"This one should be excluded."
Si-hyun crossed out a Gate in the Gangwon Province direction.
"Why? Doesn't that area mostly have plant types?"
"There are many small bees. Unless you're a fire or psychic Ability User, they're difficult to handle, so I excluded it."
Using a spear or fists against a swarm of bees would indeed be challenging.
"Then... this one seems safer?"
I selected a Gate near Yeongyang County.
This one spawned animal-type Monsters like bears or wolves.
"It's safe, but isn't it too far? The drive takes about four hours."
Distance was indeed a factor to consider...
"Should we leave tonight, stay nearby, and visit the Gate tomorrow?"
"Nope. The plan was only to decide the destination today. The actual expedition is scheduled for three or four days from now."
"Why? Wouldn't it be better to go directly?"
Si-hyun didn't answer immediately.
"Don't hesitate. What's the matter? Is there a reason?"
"Well, I have some personal arrangements."
Right. Unlike me, the unemployed wanderer, he must have various commitments.
"Then there's no helping it."
"How about this location?"
Si-hyun chose a Gate in Gongju City where the main Monsters were ants.
A note mentioned the Gate led to an Ant Nest structure that was easy to get lost in, requiring extra caution.
"Is it safe enough? But what if we get lost?"
Since this was our first expedition, the thought of potential dangers due to inexperience made me hesitant.
"That's a fair point."
After discussion, we finally settled on a safe but less rewarding Gate, a base near Gwangju, Gyeonggi Province, relatively close to Seoul, which spawned bison-type Monsters.
With charging and horn attacks as their main moves, these Monsters made this Gate a popular spot frequented by many Hunters.
"Should we schedule it for Tuesday or Wednesday?"
"Let's go with Wednesday."
With the date set, our meeting concluded.
It felt somewhat regrettable to part ways so early.
Was it because I dreamed of playing with Si-hyun? I suddenly wanted to hang out with him again after all these years.
"Want to go on a date?"
"Wh-what? A date?"
My teasing words made Si-hyun flustered immediately.
"Just kidding. Want to go somewhere and have fun?"
"Sorry, I have plans later."
Ah, he already had prior arrangements. What a shame.
"What kind of plans?"
"Former company superiors wanted to meet up."
"Can I come along?"
The words slipped out before I could stop them. My mind went blank with panic. I didn't know why I'd said that or how to handle the situation.
Si-hyun frowned.
"Sorry, that's not possible."
I felt relieved when he refused.
He had no reason to take me along anyway, so this was only natural.
Though I felt a bit hollow inside, it was still better this way.
Walking home after parting ways with Si-hyun, I felt strangely frustrated.
The more I thought about it, the more it felt like I'd been rejected by him.
Damn it.
-
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