To both Matt and Lara’s shock, Tara had burst out laughing, rolling on her back with paws to her chest in a very human-like manner.

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  Lara stared on in incomprehension for a few more seconds before finally blinking the confusion away. “Why are you laughing? He kicked at me,” she said in utter disbelief. “This insignificant pebble, even more worthless than a worm, kicked at me,” she added with a tinge more anger now.

  Tara, for her part, kept laughing uncontrollably, seemingly unable to stop herself. “He did! He absolutely… did! I can’t… breathe…” the cat wheezed between laughs, enjoying the absurdity of the situation a little too much.

  “Stop laughing! This utter lack of respect cannot go unpunished. Do something!” Lara demanded, a tinge of frustration added in with the anger.

  “Why should I? He had done nothing to offend nor disrespect me. As a matter of fact, he’s been nothing but respectful ever since he walked in,” Tara answered, still chuckling at what had happened. Apparently, she wasn’t lying about the lack of fun.

  “He thought it would have been better if we were dogs… DOGS,” Lara growled with utter disgust at the notion. “If that isn’t disrespect deserving of complete erasure from the records of the universe, then I don’t know what is,” she added.

  Matt tried to be calm and collected outwardly, but inwardly, he was on high alert. He had thought her aggressiveness was simply her nature, or that she had seen his thoughts on his face, but this went far beyond that. It was nothing short of mind reading. Still, he hadn’t really done anything wrong. His thoughts were his own after all. If she peaked under the curtain, then it was her own damn fault.

  Nonetheless, he had to step in and not let her control the narrative. “Where I come from, respect is earned,” Matt finally interjected. “You didn’t answer or even acknowledge that I was here. You intruded on my thoughts, and then you insulted basically everything about me, even the things I have no control over. In my book, the only thing that earns you is a spanking for being a very bad kitty,” he threatened, cracking his knuckles to emphasize the point as he slowly approached the rude cat.

  “T-Tara… h-he can’t talk to me like that…” Lara stammered, her voice trembling a little as she slowly started backing away from Matt.

  “Oh, I think he did. You should smite him with your incredible powers, oh-mighty-Lara,” Tara mocked, letting out a toothy smile, seemingly enjoying this a bit too much.

  “Don’t worry little cat, I’ll settle for five spankings,” Matt kept threatening the now visibly trembling cat, an evil grin on his face.

  “TARA. Do something! Please,” Lara pleaded, in a very soft and tiny voice that slightly broke Matt’s heart.

  At her pleas, Tara finally decided to step in, jumping in between Matt and the quivering Lara. “Alright, she gets it. You can drop the act.”

  “Get what? He is a rabid, violent animal who threatened to assault me. He even called me a ba… a bad kitty! I am not a bad kitty!” Lara sneered, seemingly taking offense to the kitty statement more than Matt had thought.

  “See, you say she gets it, and I want to believe you, but then she goes and says things like that. Perhaps five spankings was a bit too lenient,” Matt said, lowering his voice and cracking a couple more knuckles to drive the point home.

  “See? He is violent, dangerous, and a threat to cats everywhere! Use your… thing to make him disappear before he causes more harm!” Lara urged her sister, pushing her forward and towards Matt.

  Matt frowned at the proclamation that Tara could simply make him ‘disappear’ but chose not to comment on it, opting to see how things play out.

  “My… thing?” Tara asked in an unamused voice.

  “You know what I mean. We can revisit the name later. Just deal with the insolent one first,” Lara waved her sister off, trying to hurry her to do her… thing.

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  Tara let out an audible sigh before asking the, both appalled and terrified, cat, “Did he harm you?”

  “Yes! The way he smells pollutes the air, and you know how sensitive my nose is! Don’t even get me started on his garments. We are in Lady Bastet’s sacred temple, and this is how he chooses to present himself?” Lara gave rather superficial reasonings, to which Matt was about to respond but stopped when Tara spoke first.

  “Uh-huh. And that’s his fault because…?”

  “Because he should’ve been better prepared. What if the Pharaoh was here? What if… Lady Bastet had graced us with her presence? Hmm? What then? He would’ve been tortured for eternity. Smiting him from existence is doing him a favor!” Lara argued, making Matt feel more and more exhausted with every word.

  “The goddess would not visit a Tier 9 dungeon… her presence alone would kill him,” Tara responded with exasperation.

  Matt was taken aback by the revelation that not only did gods exist, but also that apparently being in the presence of one is enough to kill him. He wanted further clarification, but he’d save his questions to the end. Who knows what else he might learn.

  Lara paused for a second, seemingly having forgotten that Matt wouldn’t survive in Bastet’s presence. “... You don’t know that… Also, he said he preferred dogs. Dogs, Tara. Dogs! That is emotional abuse and disrespect of the highest degree,” Lara continued her complaining to a now bored-looking Tara.

  “Uh-huh. Well, since you look perfectly healthy and unharmed to me, I’ll take that as a no,” Tara retorted.

  “But–”

  Lara tried to interject, but Tara interrupted her. “Did he cause damage or harm to the temple, its rooms, treasures, or any of the guests?”

  “As if,” Lara scoffed. “It’s a miracle he even made it past the trial with how weak he is,” she added, apparently still aching for a spanking.

  Matt took a threatening step towards her, making her yelp back in response.

  “You! Stay back or, by Bastet’s name, I’ll turn you into a desert mouse and hunt you for sport,” Lara proclaimed in an unconvincing voice while pointing a shaky paw at him.

  Tara looked at her sister sternly. “Will you stop antagonizing him? He has done nothing wrong, and you’re making this much more difficult than it has any right to be.”

  Lara took a step back, mouth agape, utterly horrified by her sister’s words. “How am I the problem? Are you not seeing this? Everything about him is wrong, especially that lacking respect and violent nature of his,” she complained, aghast at the notion that Matt was innocent of any wrongdoing.

  Matt responded this time, the bickering causing the exhaustion to reach a new height. “Like I said before, furball, respect is earned, and the only thing you earned from me is a spanking.”

  “Furball?!” Lara exclaimed in utter indignation, before poking her sister in the side and pointing towards the apparent monster that was Matt. “Did you hear that? A derogatory term meant to both harm and offend! We have to respond. If we let this kind of behavior go unpunished, he will think it’s acceptable and continue doing it, maybe even enslaving cats in the end. Why do you want him to enslave cats, Tara? Hmm? Have you abandoned your own race?”

  “Stop poking me!” Tara yelped, moving away from the offending paw. “And you are a furball! It’s like being offended that he called you a cat,” she snapped, visibly starting to lose patience.

  Lara paused, opening and closing her mouth a few times as she tried, and failed, to find anything to complain about. “I-I guess there is no harm in letting it slide this time. Also, I’m willing to be the bigger cat, and forget about the lack of respect and decorum if he shows sufficient remorse,” she finally spoke, making Matt regret ever entering the dungeon with every word.

  “I’m sorry, you want me to apologize… to you?” Matt asked with both confusion and disbelief at the audacity–

  “Apology accepted,” Lara declared before turning around and hurriedly walking towards the oasis where she had been resting when Matt had first entered.

  “I didn’t apologize,” Matt said through gritted teeth, feeling his blood pressure rising the longer he conversed with the annoying cat.

  “I heard ‘I’m sorry’. What came after that is none of my concern,” she dismissed his words, continuing on her way, before adding. “I hereby graciously accept this apology even if it lacked in both sincerity and remorse. You’re welcome,” the annoying cat Lara, as Matt henceforth shall refer to her, asserted while waving a paw at him.

  Matt simply stared at the cat, wide eyed, before turning around and walking the other way. He had aged at least three years from conversing with her, and there was no point in further shortening his lifespan. She had gotten one over on him, and that was his own damn fault.

  An annoying talking cat was definitely not on his bingo card, yet it was his new reality. A reality he was dreading more and more by the day.

  Matt took a few deep breaths, reminding himself that, It’s just a cat. They are annoying by nature.

  “Hey! I heard that,” Lara complained.

  “I know,” Matt responded, a smile on his face.

  Was it a little petty?

  Yes.

  Did he care?

  Nope. Because at the end of the day, she was bound to find another way to annoy the fuck out of him, and getting some jabs in only felt fair.

  “Fucking cats man,” he muttered to himself, continuing to walk away from the very annoying Lara.