Chapter 14

  The room fell silent as an air of anticipation filled the room. All eyes watched me with differing levels of anxiety and intrigue, all except for Joan. She just stood next to me with her arms crossed, looking more annoyed than anything. It made sense, Joan knew the answer already, so my big display of theatrics served very little purpose to her.

  "So who is it?" Surprisingly it was Ray who broke the silence, getting us back on track.

  I took one more moment to stare down each of the suspects in the line before taking a deep breath.

  "Actually, it's none of you. I lied." I scratched the back of my head, laughing awkwardly.

  While Joan simply groaned in response, the tension of the rest of the room immediately deflated. In its place, a general consensus of irritation was directed at my antics.

  "Placeholder, get these cuffs off me so I can strangle him! I swear to Gods, I'm gonna kill him!" Mayor Night leapt from the line of suspects with his arms reaching for my throat. The red highlight surrounding him from my Read the Room ability made certain that I realized Night had full intentions to make good on his threat. Luckily Riff's sheriff training helped him cut off Night's path before he could do any actual harm. Despite helping me, I could tell that Riff looked at least more than a little bit betrayed.

  "I told you it would turn out this way." Joan shook her head, crossing her arms across her chest.

  "Yeah, my bad. I just always wanted to say that." I could now join the ranks of the countless fictional detectives that have used variations of the The killer is in this room line.

  "So ye was jus' lyin' to us? Ye don't really know who dunnit?" Looking over his shoulder, it was easy to tell I'd lost quite a bit of respect from Riff.

  "No, that's not true. I really did solve it. I know exactly what's going on in your seaside town. I actually brought you all here to help figure out how to put a stop to it." Suddenly, I felt guilty, realizing I'd sent everyone on a pretty extreme emotional roller coaster. Was it really worth it? To cause this much turmoil just so I could say a line that I always wanted to say since getting hooked on mystery anime as a kid? Yes, yes it was. But I still felt bad about it.

  "Then spill it. Yinz can't jus' keep us in 'spence like this."

  "It's elementary..."

  "Holmes never says that in the books." Joan cut me off matter-of-factly.

  "Shit, really? That's weird." Once again, Joan found ways to completely catch me off guard. How did I not know that?! "Okay, hold on a second. I can fix this."

  "Just spit it out. We don't need your stupid jokes that nobody understands." Zuul joined the fray, clearly annoyed about something.

  "They're references Zuul, not jokes... Well, I mean, some of them are also jokes."

  "Mayor Night, would you like me to strangle him for you?" Zuul snapped at my response. Something must have really upset her.

  "Look 'ere. Nobody's killin' nobody. Got it?" Thankfully Riff came to my defense, although he didn't sound too assertive. It was almost like he was only saying it out of duty. "Jus' tell us, Clay. How did ye solve the case?"

  "Use your little grey cells, mon ami." I responded in a French accent.

  "How can you directly quote Agatha Christie, but you don't even know Sherlock never said Elementary? Aren't you the one obsessed with Sherlock Holmes?!" Somehow I had actually managed to get Joan worked up. I guess she really matched my pop culture knowledge with her literary knowledge.

  "I like Poirot just as much as Holmes. Have you seen his mustache?"

  "Clay, please just explain it to us. I feel we're gettin' off track." Ray spoke up, pleading for us to move forward.

  "Since Ray said it," I sighed realizing I was making more enemies the longer I prolonged things. "The problem we kept facing throughout the entire investigation into these new disappearances was that we couldn't figure out how a person could commit the act. No matter how we looked at things, we'd find that the culprit would have to defy physics and likely defy time in order to commit the acts. Even if we thought there might be multiple perpetrators in order to cut down on time or possible provide a special skill to enter and exit the rooms, it still seemed impossible. But that's because we kept getting held up on basic logic. We were so focused on the people in this room that we couldn't see what was really going on."

  "So if it's not one of us, who did it?" Night wanted an immediate answer and his frustration was building the longer I drew out my explanation. He had no respect for the theatrics of solving a case.

  "Ye think it was them Tin-Di-Loos hounds? But I thought ye ruled 'em out.?" Surprisingly, Riff was following my train of thought much better than anticipated. I kept forgetting that he wasn't just a pretty mustache, he was a skilled investigator too.

  "You're right, we ruled out the Hounds of Tindalos. They could easily have infiltrated and exited all of the rooms in the time needed to commit the disappearances. But they kill their victims, not abduct them. At the very least, they don't clean up after themselves." Even talking about the hounds caused my body to shake in fear. I was using my antics to help distract from the fact that being indoors made me an easy target for the eldritch beasts hunting me.

  "Goddamnit Clay, just spit it out." Raif was clearly fed up with having to stand around during my explanation.

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  "Fine, fine. The key was remembering who created this mystery in the first place. Sorry for the fourth wall break to all the non-players present. We're dealing with a world created by a lazy asshole who can't even bother to name most of his buildings and NPCs. Why would we expect some impressive solution to a mystery that relies on impressive wit? He's a cheap bastard. So I thought, if I were that god, how would I have done it with the least effort possible?"

  All of the NPCs justifiably had dumbfounded looks on their faces. To them, this investigation was very real, but in reality it was just a plot thrown together by a bored deity for the sake of their own entertainment.

  "I'll admit, I'm pretty ignorant with most of the actual Lovecraftian stuff. Sorry NPCs, this is more fourth wall breaking stuff for you, but hang in there." I turned to Joan, "So, I picked the brain of the person who knows the most about the actual literature behind the Cthulhu Mythos. Our cruise ship was themed after it, then there are the Deep Ones, the Tindalos Hounds, the supposed identity of that god running everything... It all points back to the Cthulhu Mythos being the one tool that god uses to solve every single problem. So I asked Joan if she was aware of any beings other than Tindalos Hounds that could enter and exit enclosed spaces. And she said..."

  "The Horror in the Museum. It was a 1932 short story published with Hazel Heald as the writer, however it was actually ghostwritten by H. P. Lovecraft. The story introduced a creature that could shift in and out of our dimension. It was also a creature that was said to remove its prey from our world without a trace." I grinned at Joan proudly as she finished her explanation. "The Dimensional Shambler."

  There was only one person in the room who showed any sign of understanding, Tara. It made sense, I didn't expect the inhabitants of this world to know the deep lore of the Cthulhu Mythos, and Raif made it very clear shortly after we first met that Tara was well versed in the Call of Cthulhu table top game. As soon as Joan gave me the description prior to this meeting, it instantly clicked as a popular creature used in the game. Even though I'm nowhere near an expert, I could recognize the name, and since Tara was the biggest Call of Cthulhu expert out of the four players present, it would have been odd if she didn't immediately understand what we were talking about. Sadly, Tara did her best to hide her response since Raif used her gaming knowledge as a way to insult her.

  "They can phase in and out of our reality. They steal their prey instead of killing it in our world. They are known to avoid being seen, so they target locations with as few occupants as possible. They are a part of the Cthulhu Mythos. And since that god has left no other clues that it would possibly be involved in this investigation, it is the most likely thing they would choose to be the solution. Case solved." I puffed out my chest proudly even though it was Joan's expertise that had been the real breakthrough. Guiltily, my eyes shifted to Tara, realizing that if Raif hadn't held her back she might have come up with the solution long before Joan and I.

  "So what? You nerds make up a magical monster and then act like that solves something?" Raif's bitter response was exactly why Tara had remained silent. "Unless you have some way to prove it or catch this imaginary dimensional thing, then everything you said is pointless."

  "He's right. Just because you used a bunch of words we didn't know and act all smart doesn't mean you solved anything. For all we know, you're just making stuff up because you were too stupid to figure it out." Mayor Night joined Raif in doubting the legitimacy of the solution.

  "That's the real reason I brought everyone here. I mean, aside from wanting to say The killer is in this very room." My admission caused a couple frustrated grumbles from the room. "I have an idea on how we can protect the townspeople and lure the Dimensional Shambler out of hiding, but it requires more information on this town than I could possibly know. I figured the sheriff, the mayor, the mayor's assistant Zuul, and some random guy who seems to be oddly informed, might have the answers I'm looking for."

  "Stop calling me Zuul!" Zuul snapped, looking ready to make good on her earlier promise to strangle me.

  "What'cha need, Clay?" Ray spoke up, avoiding the derailment Zuul had attempted to create.

  "Thanks Ray, I can always count on you." I grinned, glad I had him join us. "There are two parts we need to plan, and we need to do it quickly since we likely only have until sunset to get everything in motion."

  "We'd have gotten things done a lot faster if you weren't such a long winded idiot!" Barked Mayor Night.

  "You're not helping, Night." Joan swatted away his attack in order to let me continue.

  "First, we need to get all of the townspeople into either one or two locations. Get as many people crowded together as possible, leave nobody by themself or with only one or two others. It'll act as a sort of Dimensional Shambler repellant." Surprisingly, even Night seemed to understand my logic and didn't interrupt. "Second, the four players will wait to lure them out, ready to confront it. It would be best if we had a place with long hallways and tight spaces. Taking away big open spaces will eliminate its options to appear in a blind spot, making sure we at least have a chance to fight back."

  "Hey, don't volunteer me for your stupid plans without my permission." I had anticipated Raif would push back, but the strength he and Tara provided would be needed in the battle. There was no way Joan and I could take on the Dimensional Shambler alone.

  "I get that you're scared, Raif. That's understandable. And I'm sure you're afraid I'll make you look bad in front of Tara by showing you up in combat." Luckily, anticipating his response allowed me to know exactly how I would counter it.

  "Do you think I'm stupid?"

  "Of course not, any smart person would be afraid. I know I am. But we don't really have any other options. I don't blame you if you want to hide with the townspeople. I need your help, but I can't force you." My words weren't entirely dishonest, but my motives were much more manipulative than any effort to genuinely appeal to Raif.

  "I'm going to take Tara outside, and we're going to talk about it. We'll decide on our own." Raif grabbed Tara forcefully, guiding her to the door. Although I hadn't anticipated Raif pushing back so much against my attempts, his response wasn't the worst case scenario. I just had to hope they'd arrive at the right decision.

  "While they're outside talking, does anyone know of locations that would be good to gather townspeople? Large open rooms. Plenty of space to fit everyone."

  "Generic Tavern D should be able to fit everyone if you include the cellar area and the upstairs. If not, I'm sure if we split between the tavern and the inn, that would be more than enough space." Ray contributed helpfully.

  "I ken prob'ly get 'em to help out." Riff added confidently.

  "So then, that just leaves a location for our trap. Like I said, we need something with long hallways, and if there are rooms, they need to be cramped. We need to have places to fight without the Dimensional Shambler sneaking up on us."

  My eyes glanced around the room. Riff and Ray were both clearly trying to find a solution but failing. Zuul appeared to not even be trying, almost as if she had something against helping me for some reason. I was surprised by the voice that spoke up to help, breaking the extended silence of the room.

  "The escape tunnels." Mayor Night offered.

  I was nearly overcome by shock when Night offered what appeared to be a solution. "Escape tunnels? I don't remember hearing anything like that when we were investigating."

  "You wouldn't. Aside from the victims of the curse in the settlement, nobody other that I would know they existed. How do you think I managed to sneak all of them out of town without anyone seeing?" Night grinned, proud that he'd managed to keep something outside of the scope of our investigation. "There's an entrance behind the mayor's office, and the tunnels lead directly to the settlement. The doors lock one way, so once they enter the tunnel the only exit is a hatch in the settlement. It's mostly one long hallway, but there are a few small rooms off to the side for the cursed ones to use until they completed their transformation. I'd say the whole thing is about half a mile long, is that a long enough hallway for you?"

  Joan looked at me showing surprise. I assumed I had the same look, but mind was most likely much less pleasant to look at.

  "Wow, that would actually be perfect. If Riff is okay with it, would you be able to show it to us after we get the townspeople taken care of?" It might have been the only time I had ever spoken to Mayor Night with even the slightest sense of gratitude.

  "If yinz want, I ken escort 'em." With a smile, Riff offered his assistance.

  There was only one more detail we needed to know before moving forward.

  Almost as if on cue, Raif and Tara reentered the sheriff's office.

  "We decided to help. So you'd better be grateful." The pink haired punk declared, fully expecting me to bow down before his greatness.

  Behind him, I noticed Tara avoiding eye contact. She looked even more troubled than usual. I could only imagine the conversation they had outside, but at the moment I could only be thankful that we had their help.

  "You owed us anyway, so don't expect either of us to thank you." Joan coldly cut in before I had a chance to express my gratitude. A quick glance in Joan's direction let me know to let her response be final.

  With that, our planning meeting came to a close. The next step would be figuring out a way to get all of the townspeople in one place. Luckily, Joan and I already had an answer for that.