Chapter 12

  "What's this all about?" The gaunt Lorre look-alike spat as he was confronted outside his office.

  "We figured you'd eventually show up, so we thought we'd just camp outside your office for a little bit." Joan casually leaned against the door leading to Mayor Night's office, blocking his avenue for entry.

  "So can we off this guy now?" The harsh voice belonged to the bitter punk squatting in what I'm sure he felt was a menacing pose, but it literally just came off as another anime delinquent cliche. At this point, he had yet to trigger my Read the Room ability so I was starting to believe he was a poser just copying delinquents off his favorite shonen animes. If it hadn't been for his treatment of Tara, I'd have completely written Raif off as mostly harmless. Of course, at the moment, I wasn't in any position to any judging at all.

  "Ignoring your two colorful new friends, what happened to your mouthy boyfriend?" Even Night knew to hold his punches at the sight of me. I was curled up next to Joan, close enough for her to continue petting my head. My eyes were swollen from tears that had dried up long before our target had arrived.

  After the events in the settlement, something inside me had finally broken. When my eyes watched the door to the settlement close, leaving the hundreds of transformed victims trapped inside with the ultimate eldritch hunters, my mind closed itself off along with the heavy metal door. Looking back on how I reacted in that moment and the events that followed including the meeting with the mayor, I only have vague memories of what was actually going on in my head. It was as if I was a third party, watching the events of the investigation move forward from my own private theater, except the popcorn was shit and the soda fountain was broken.

  It's much better that I relay the events like this. It is likely if you were able to see my thoughts during that time of our journey, you'd be driven to madness along with me. Although, I guess madness isn't quite accurate. Madness might have shielded my ego from the torment it faced. No matter how much I had deluded myself prior to the events in the settlement, I never felt I was anything other than a burden to the people around me. I put on the mask of someone who had confidence, someone who could move things forward, but inside I knew I was an imposter. At the time, it had been mostly harmless in my mind because my clumsy attempts at playing detective only harmed a few NPCs that I'd never even met. Seeing the victims first-hand, meeting Deep Juan, learning about the families left behind... That alone made it all too real, but even then I tried to delude myself into believing I could fix everything. If I threw a few references to a Mel Brookes movie or a band from the 90s that everyone forgot about, I felt it would just make all of my shortcomings disappear. Watching Deep Juan get torn to shreds as he sacrificed himself for me, leading the Hounds through the settlement, sending hundreds of innocents to their doom for the sake of my own weaknesses and failures... Even my delusional mind could no longer sloppily cover it up with bad jokes like a landlord haphazardly throwing a layer of paint over a trash-heap of an apartment and selling it as pristine.

  So no, it wasn't madness. As my tear swollen eyes physically watched the events playing out in front of me, my mind played a constant highlight reel of my failures. My own top ten list of lives I had ruined because I wanted to play Sherlock Holmes, except the list didn't stop at ten. I won't share the exact scenes and thoughts that monopolized my internal thoughts, nobody wants to know what was really going on inside my head. It would be like opening Pandora's Box.

  Instead, you're getting my post-edit take on what a non-emotionally devastated Clay would have thought as the events played out. Believe me, it's for the best. And if the dark stuff isn't for you, then please just delude yourself into thinking my fun mental quips were the reality of that moment. Sometimes delusion is better than facing reality.

  At some point, Joan had succeeded in getting the bare minimum information from me, allowing her to take the baton to complete the investigation on my behalf. I also might have mentioned a couple (thousand) times that we could not go indoors, and to avoid all corners around 90 degrees. Sadly, since she'd left her protractor in her other sundress, Joan was forced to eyeball it.

  "He was busy cleaning up your mess." I could feel Joan's fingers tense on my head, it was clear she blamed Mayor Night for what happened to me. The red outline made it clear that she was practicing immense self control not to take her justifiable rage out on this quest-related NPC.

  "I don't know what you're..."

  "Shut it, Night! I'm not in the mood for a cute little back and forth. You broke my pet, so we're not going to dance around the issue." I wasn't quite sure if I was happy or humiliated at being referred to by Joan as her pet. Maybe she meant I was her pet like Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors where she felt I was a dangerous man-eating badass... As opposed to some sort of lap dog or something. Either way, had I not been catatonic, I'm sure I'd have been blushing like crazy.

  Night opened his mouth to say something, but stopped himself a few times before finally, "So what are we doing here? Are you here to finish me off? That'd be a mistake."

  "You're right, it would be a mistake. As much as I'd enjoy ending things right here, we're waiting for Sheriff Placeholder. We're going to finish our investigation, and we're going to get out of this place."

  "What do you think that moron is going to do about this?" Night scoffed at the idea of Riff actually being helpful.

  "It 'pends on what I find out from yinz." A familiar voice spoke up from directly behind Mayor Night. The absolutely stunning mustache and its carrier, Sheriff Placeholder, arrived at the scene. Next to him was the mayor's receptionist Zuul. "You sent Deborah t' come git me. She said ye solved it? That's good 'cause I was looking fer yinz... What's wrong with Clay?"

  Who the Hell was Deborah?! Was that Zuul's real name?! Absolutely not, I would never call her Deborah. What kind of name is Deborah? For the sake of everyone's sake, I will proceed to properly change her name moving forward to Zuul.

  "Zuul? You're involved in this? Et tu, Brute?" Night reacted to the obvious betrayal. If he had known the amount of terror Joan had to instill in Zuul to make her even remotely betray Night, he might not have held such animosity toward her.

  "Can we just move on with things? My legs are getting stiff just staying like this." From his squatted position, Raif pleaded to speed things up. Nobody was forcing him to squat like an idiot, it was his own damned fault. I guess he thought it wasn't punk enough to simply just sit or stand like a normal human.

  "Raif, have ye been behavin' yerself fer Joan an' Clay? I don't mind locking ye back up. Are ye the reason my bud's down in the dumps?"

  "Stupid pig, I don't got nothing to do with this. Okay? I've been a perfect angel, not like that's any of your business." Raif snapped back at his former captor.

  "Clay's not feeling well right now, so I'm taking the lead. He worked a little too hard." Joan's response made her seem much more like my over-protective mother than my partner. I wasn't really in a position to argue that dynamic though. Even if it was humiliating, it was also fairly accurate to say she was more like a protective parent than an equal, especially at that moment. "Regardless, we called you here to wrap things up so we can move on. Then maybe Clay can get some rest."

  "Well sorry t' hear that, Clay. Hope ye get t' feelin' better." Riff responded with genuine concern in his eyes. "So what d'ya got fer me?"

  "To start off, all of the disappearances that have been occurring in Marblehead recently are being orchestrated by that bug-eyed mayor next to you. Would you like to elaborate Night, or should I do the honors?" Joan took no time to get right to business, ready to tie up all of the loose ends. If my mind had been remotely functioning normally... Well, normally for me... I would have been kicking myself for not getting to be in charge of the reveal. Joan got to enjoy all of the fun of ripping the mask off of the Scooby Doo villain to expose Old Man Night was behind it all, and he would have gotten away with it if it weren't for us pesky players.

  If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

  "You think you can just make statements like that without any proof?"

  "Can't say I didn't give you a chance." Joan continued to comfort me by petting my head as she proceeded. She looked like a total badass, I looked like a sick mutt she found in the gutter on the way to the mayor's office. "Let's begin with the settlement we found beneath the lighthouse. An entire town of Deep Ones."

  Riff's eyes opened wide. We already knew he had his own negative views of Deep Ones that bordered on problematic. "Water-breathers? Near town? What's the meanin' of this Night?!"

  "I don't know what you're talking about, and even if there was some sort of monster settlement, why would you think it has anything to do with me? This entire thing is outrageous!"

  "We don't have time t' dilly dally, we gotta protect the town! Betty White an' I are gonna clean it out. Yinz are gonna take me there now!" Betty White was the name of Riff's gun. Once again, the future me would regret not being able to derail the conversation to talk about the different Betty Whites from each of our worlds. Sadly, I just sat there.

  "Calm down, Sheriff Placeholder. Unfortunately, the residents of the settlement are no longer among the living." Her body tensed, knowing this fact would cause me increased anguish.

  Mayor Night's opened wide at Joan's statement. Whether he chose to do it, or he simply forgot, Night completely abandoned the act of innocence. "What did you do?! You monster! Those used to be people!" His outburst drew the surprise of Riff.

  "What're ye sayin' Night? Water-breathers are people?"

  Night broke down on the spot, falling to his knees. His anguish was not fake. Perhaps we had been wrong in thinking that Night was only acting out of selfishness.

  "The ancient curse... Every thirty three years members of our town would be forced to change into those beasts. It was this town's dark little secret, kept only by the mayors and town doctors. We couldn't do anything to stop it, so we did the only thing we could... We had to protect the town. They might have turned into monsters, but they used to be people. We never wanted them dead. But you say you killed them? You murderers!" Night lashed out. In the most surprising move so far, he was restrained by an annoyed Raif who had given up on his delinquent squat to actually provide some help for the situation.

  Although I didn't understand the full details, it seemed that Joan did not blame Raif for the situation at the settlement... Or at least she didn't blame him anymore. Raif, who was not well-versed in gaming, didn't understand his ability had limitations. When it had been used before, there had been no issue in its success. Unfortunately for me, when it was used to infiltrate the settlement, it had failed for three of the four members of the party. And even though the infiltration had succeeded for me, I had supposedly failed a skill check to remain undetected. Without being able to actually read his ability word for word, I could only go off of what was told to me. Apparently after some minor violence from Joan, Tara managed to calm her down. Anyway, that's why Raif's head wasn't impaled on Joan's pen like a stationary-themed Vlad the Impaler victim when I finally escaped my death trap.

  "Nobody wants the people from the settlement to be alive more than Clay. I can say for a fact that we didn't kill anyone. But at least you're willing to admit your involvement. That should help move things along." Joan continued, cold but professional. "I don't doubt your outrage over their deaths, but knowing what I do, you definitely pick and choose your morals don't you? I don't deny you had to make some hard choices, but if you think you have any right to claim the moral high ground, you are mistaken."

  "I don't need to take this from murderers. Sheriff Placeholder, do your job and arrest them."

  "If I were t' arrest any of yinz, it'd be you Night. I can't say I get what yinz are sayin' though." Snapping back at Mayor Night, Riff continues to look more confused than anything.

  "Mayor Night was telling the truth about there being a curse. In fact, most of what he admitted is pretty accurate. The curse showed itself as a bad rash, so people would go to the town doctor, who would contact Mayor Night. They would arrange to help the victim disappear from town when they changed and provided the settlement as a new home. But you're leaving out quite a few things, Night. Now that we're all here, Clay is trusting me to bring your evils to light, and I don't want to let him down."

  "All I did was help people in need. Sure, it was a secret, but think of what would happen if we made this all public. Do you think the town would just accept a bunch of water-breather freaks to live among us. We can't even talk to each other. They're hardly intelligent. So when they were still human, we gave them a safe option."

  "Option? So what if they didn't take that option, Night?"

  The bug-eyed mayor immediately froze, realizing he slipped up.

  "Answer the lass, Night. I'm curious too. Yer weavin' a nice heroic tale savin' people in need. But I can't believe ev'ry un of em just went along with ye." Seeing the direction the narrative was going, Sheriff Placeholder placeholder jumped in to help force Night's hand.

  "It's not hard to force them to take your offer if the other option involves holding their family hostage. In fact, even after they took your deal, you made sure they knew that if they ever broke their agreement you'd harm their loved ones. That in itself is disgusting, but I have to wonder..." Joan let her statement hang for a moment, Night squirmed anxiously at what he knew was coming. "Did you ever have to make good on your threats? And if one of the victims wasn't being cooperative during the discussion, I can't imagine you'd have just let them leave alive. Whether or not it was for the good of the town, it really makes me wonder..."

  "That's all theories! You couldn't possibly have proof." As the conversation went on, Night grew more desperate. Even attempting to act confident it could no longer come off as anything other than a weak deception.

  "You're right. I don't have any way of getting first hand proof. In order to do that we'd have had to catch you in the act, or get a first hand account from a victim. But as you'd mentioned, once they transform there's no way to communicate. It's convenient for you that you could openly threaten them without any risk of them coming forward. Unless..." A smile spread across Joan's face, "There was one of us players who had the ability to talk to them and get first hand accounts of your cruelty."

  "That means nothing! Like we'd just take your word for something that crazy!"

  "Well, Sheriff Placeholder, I'll ask you. We were specifically tasked with solving this case. Does a first-hand statement carry any weight with you? I'd believe any law officer would at least have bare minimum credibility. If nothing else, it would be worth further investigation while the accused remains in custody, correct?"

  "Yer not wrong miss. Evidence is 'portant, but that don't mean yer words don't hold weight. I just have a question fer yinz that I don't really get. How'd Night make the ones disappear from locked rooms right under their fam'lies noses?"

  Both Mayor Night and Joan had similar looks of confusion. I'm sure I'd have shared the same reaction. Disappearances from locked rooms was not anything we'd heard about up to that point, and if they happened with family members in the home at the time it didn't add up.

  "I don't know what you're talking about. My arrangement always involved meeting outside at night. I would never take the risk of trying to escort the cursed ones right under their families noses. That's just stupid." Mayor Night at least didn't seem like he was lying. And the argument about how nonsensical it would be to try to make the victims disappear from a room while the family members were present held a lot of weight. I could say a lot of negative things about the Lorre rip off mayor, but being reckless wasn't one of them.

  "When were there cases in locked rooms? You never said anything to us." Joan confronted Riff.

  "After ye left this mornin'. Had five new cases come in. All 'bout the same thing. Fam'ly member went into their room an' never left. Jus' disappeared. No body, no trace." He handed Mayor Night a paper he'd been holding since he first joined the group. "This 'ere is a list of missin' folks. Do ye recognize any of the new names?"

  Mayor Night looked through the list, perplexed. He looked just like I did when I went to Red Lobster expecting the Endless Shrimp deal only to find they'd already stopped the promotion. But I saw a commercial earlier that day for it! I wouldn't have gone if I realized it wasn't going on anymore. There I was just sitting at the table, ready to eat my weight in shrimp and they were expecting me to order some meal with a set quantity of food. Sure, you could say that I could have called ahead, but I saw the commercial... This would have been a good time for a focus from Joan, but like I mentioned my thoughts here aren't what I was thinking in the moment, and even if they were, I wasn't really part of the conversation going on anyway.

  "I admit I know most of the names higher up on the list, but not all of them, and none of the newest ones." He pointed to some names on the list that he was unrelated to. If we were to take Night's word for it, then we had missed something. We had just assumed that any disappearances were connected to Mayor Night and the victims of the curse. Were we wrong?

  Joan patted my head sympathetically. She had thought this was all over, but now there was a new development. At the very least she needed to find evidence that these missing people were actually part of Mayor Night's disappearances, because if they weren't we had an entirely different case to unravel.

  "Regardless of this new information, we can't just take Night at his word. I suggest you hold him in custody until we figure this all out. Possibly look into this town doctor as well. Can we get a copy of this list and addresses? We need to see some of the crime scenes for ourselves." Joan's confidence plummeted as the reality of the investigation being much farther from conclusion than she had anticipated. Unless I made a speedy recovery, she would be forced to investigate by herself... Or herself, Tara, and Raif but their assistance was spotty at best.

  Riff nodded in response. "Let's get ye where ye can't hurt nobody else, Night. Then we can talk 'bout movin' forward."

  As everyone prepared to head back to the sheriff's office, solemnity hung on the air. If things had been different, I would have been mentally present. Instead of this horribly dark defeated atmosphere, there would have been at least one individual who would have been behaving outside of the norm. I would have been leaping for joy.

  "A real life locked room mystery?! This is so cool!" Would have been my reaction.

  As Scrooge discovered by the ghosts showing him how the world would be different with his absence, I was able to get a glimpse into what I actually provided to Joan. I might be the literal worst, but at least I had a purpose. If only these words were recognitions that my mind had made in that moment. Sadly, it would take some time for me to step up and be something other than dead weight.