When he returned home, Pete walked straight to the bedroom and grabbed the pills in his closet. He was just about to take off the cap, when…

  He stopped.

  “What am I doing?” He asked himself. “What was I thinking trying to hide?” His hand trembled holding the bottle as reality sunk in.

  “I should’ve just told Natalie.” He said, embarrassed. “If anyone deserves a little faith it’s her. If anyone can help me… it’s always been her.”

  He stared down at the bottle, moved only by the obvious truth of his mistake. It had been ridiculous. Not telling his wife. “She’s what I need.” He decided. “Not freaking Vicodin.”

  “But it’s not too late.” He whispered, suddenly resolute. And opening the cap, he dumped the pills down the toilet, flushing the failure from his life.

  An hour passed, and the late afternoon light was streaming in the windows, by the time Natalie’s car pulled down the driveway. Pete had been waiting in his rocking chair, fighting the desire to hide. Rallying his flawed self to do the right thing. “Okay,” he said, taking a deep breath and rising from his seat. “Like ripping off a Band-Aid.”

  Natalie came through the door, carrying her “teacher bag,” as she always called it. Glancing at Pete briefly she started setting things down on the table in the corner of the kitchen.

  “I have to tell you something.” Pete said abruptly, skipping the usual greetings.

  She paused, giving a curious, “Okay?”

  He could tell by her voice she had no idea what was coming, and he questioned whether it was fair to drop this stress upon her.

  “No.” He reminded himself. “Either we fix this together, or not at all.”

  “Something is …wrong with me,” he started just as before in Cynthia’s office. “I know this is gonna sound crazy, but a few days ago, some kind of messed-up things came into my head, and …” he hesitated, struggling to find the right words.

  “What kind of things?” Natalie asked leaning back against the kitchen counter. Her full attention now focused on her spouse.

  “Oh… well… some really weird stuff about… existence?” His voice betrayed his shame.

  “What?” she asked quietly, with more than a hint of concern.

  “Yeah. I know,” he continued. “It's really freaking weird, And it’s not like I’m hearing voices or anything like that, but it’s been hard to… I don’t know… shut it off. I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want you to worry. I realize that was dumb. So anyways, today…”

  While Pete went on talking, Natalie stayed silent. Decoding. “He’s talking so fast.” She thought. “Like panic, but why would he be so afraid to tell me?” She wondered.

  A moment later, he had finished “… So… yeah. That’s what’s going on… with me.”

  He stood in the kitchen doorway. She leaned against the counter. Both frozen. (Like a certain afternoon in an attic, all those years ago.)

  And just as then, it was Natalie Bishop brave enough to break their silence.

  “Hun,” she began, “I’m so sorry you’ve been going through this. I had no idea.” She wanted to reassure him. It was so much to take in. Several of his comments were alarming, (especially one where he’d mentioned thoughts of “hurting myself”.) but that was something she decided not to press in the moment. It was obvious now was not the time to add to his guilt.

  “But what about my guilt?” She couldn’t help but wonder. “I mean, it’s good that he’s telling me now, but how did I miss this? Am I a bad wife?”

  The unfair burden of the caretaker. Unable to process their own feelings, for fear of derailing a loved one’s progress. And Natalie was left with only one recourse, postponing her emotional closure, and laying the first blocks of her own psychological strain.

  She walked over, placing her hands on his shoulders.

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  “I can at least let him know he’s got nothing to be ashamed of.” She thought, selflessly. She ducked her head and looked up to meet his eyes.

  “You should take time off from work. In fact, I command it!” She said jokingly, managing to elicit a laugh from Pete.

  “Please,” She continued. “do whatever you need, and let me help you. We’re always in it together, right? 'Sometimes me. This time you'?"”

  At her words, Pete nodded, tears brimming.

  “Do you think you should maybe talk to someone about this? Like a counselor?” She asked.

  It was in that moment, Pete thought about two things. First, how lucky he was to have Natalie. And second, he thought of all the other people in the world, facing similar challenges, and how so many of those who suffer from the shame of mental illness, would benefit if only their loved ones would reach out to them first.

  “Yeah, I was thinking about that on the way home,” he replied. “I’ve already started looking some up.” He smiled at her then. His signature half-smile; one Natalie hadn’t seen in at least a week. “It feels better to tell you,” He said. “Thank you.”

  “I love you,” she smiled, looking up at him.

  "I love you too.” Pete replied.

  They hugged and shared a brief kiss. Then Natalie went to the bedroom to change (and think). It had all been so unsettling, and yet somehow, she felt incredibly close to her husband just then. And passing by her bedroom mirror she happened to catch her reflection, momentarily distracted by what she could have sworn had been two tiny lights, up and to her left within the mirror. Like tiny luminous pin pricks that disappeared as fast as they’d come, to which she attributed to the intensity of the moment.

  “She’s all I need.” Pete whispered looking toward the bedroom, after her. “She’s the answer I’ve been missing.”

  Yet even as he spoke, a foreboding continued in the shadows. And Pete unconsciously reached his hand to the back of his left shoulder. Searching.

  6E+24

  “My God,” Raphael exhaled in shock. “Gabriel, did you see? Tell me you saw!” He turned and found his friend motionless, staring at the Bishops through the lens. His expression as grim as Raphael had ever seen. “What is it?” He asked.

  “I need a moment,” Gabriel replied, his voice distant.

  “Gabriel!” Raphael’s shout echoed throughout the Kaleidoscope. “You saw it! A Light! It was right there! When he confessed, and then she embraced him, it was there!”

  “Please, Raphael, calm down. I’m not sure what I saw,” Gabriel said.

  “Don’t deflect! I won’t allow it! Not now!” Raphael’s wings fully extended in his agitation, their sharp silver feathers glinting. “He had a Light! It was small, just a flicker. But it was there, and hers shone as bright as I’ve ever seen!”

  “Yes,” Gabriel finally acknowledged. “And the Lights were...connected.”

  “We go in,” Raphael declared. “We must go in. We get them both. We bring them someplace safe. We bring them here!”

  “Are you mad?!” Now it was Gabriel shouting, his own golden feathered wings flaring.

  “You know it’s been done before,” Raphael reminded him. “It has to be now. I was a fool to wait so long.”

  “They don’t go back!” Gabriel interrupted. “They never go back. Mystics, prophets, saints…they don’t ever return. Are you ready to condemn Pete and Natalie? What if Pete can’t forgive himself for what happened with the young woman from his past? He’ll be damned! If he crosses over without a Light, he’ll be damned. You’ve watched them recently. You’ve seen them since this day. Answer me this. Does Pete Bishop, currently, have a Light?”

  Raphael lowered his head in frustrated acceptance. “No.”

  “I agree. We must act.” Gabriel placed his hands on his temples, clearly trying to devise a plan under stress. “Lucifer will find out eventually, if he doesn’t know already.”

  “Exactly!” Raphael exclaimed, pointing at the lens. “Exactly!”

  “Are you ready for war?” Gabriel shot back. “Because I am not. And I’m certainly not going to drag all our brothers, and sisters into Armageddon without first seeking the will of the One.” He paused to collect himself. “We have to gather the council.”

  “No,” Raphael responded immediately. “We don’t have time. You and I. We’ll meet them on their plane. We’ll explain the situation. I’ll stay with them for protection!”

  Gabriel tried to keep calm. “Raphael, please listen to reason. If you are there when Abaddon, Azazel, or God forbid, Baal arrive, there will be violence, and war will be upon us.” He waited until Raphael’s wings folded before he continued.

  “We will summon the council right now. As quick as the wind, I promise. Then, we will ascertain the will of our Father, and move forward. But our response has to be calculated. You know this. Our enemies thrive on our emotions and count on our compassion to lead us into mistakes.”

  Raphael threw up his hands and turned his back, taking a breath to process what was said. He wanted to go to Pete and Natalie Bishop's apartment immediately, still, he knew Gabriel was right. “Fine,” he finally relented, “but I won’t tolerate Michael’s pontificating. Promise me you’ll stand with me.”

  At that, Gabriel smiled. He walked over to Raphael, placing a reassuring hand on the pauldron of his emerald armor, and asked simply, “Where else would I stand?”

  He waited for Raphael to smile back, which he reluctantly did. Then added, “But if we’re really going to do this, I have to tell you something important. I don’t want there to be any secrets between us when we meet with the council.”

  “Secrets?” Raphael asked.

  “The symbols that Pete Bishop has on his back,” Gabriel began, “they have a meaning.”

  “The tattoo? What do they mean, and how could he even know?” Raphael looked confused.

  Gabriel removed his hand and ordered a fractal lens to recall the scene from the attic. It was the moment when Natalie asked Pete about his tattoo. “Stop,” Gabriel commanded, freezing the image to expose Pete’s back and the symbols. “I’ve seen them before. He probably doesn’t realize what they really are.”

  “And what are they?” Raphael asked, eagerly.

  “They’re a statement of commitment,” Gabriel replied.

  Raphael stood motionless, suddenly thinking about everything that they had seen together within the Kaleidoscope. He thought about Pete and Natalie Bishop and the entire course of events that had brought them to this point, from the first moment he’d heard Natalie’s cries for help, to the moment he had arrived in Gabriel’s golden hall. The universe pulling all of them toward something mysterious. Then, looking at his most trusted brother-in-arms, he steadied, and asked for clarity. “Commitment to what?”

  Then Gabriel dismissed the Kaleidoscope completely, leaving the two of them standing alone in his realm.

  “A commitment to us.”

  6E+24