Chapter 48

  - I’m pissed. – Ash said coldly.

  - I’m fucking shocked. – I replied. I really was fucking shocked.

  - I’m having a blast. – Said the weird guy.

  - Sorry, boss, do we gotta say something too? – Riz cut in.

  - What?... No.

  - Cool… Just, you all took turns talking, and I didn’t know what to say.

  - … Right.

  - …

  - …

  - Finally found you, half-demon. – Ash got to the point.

  - Uh, no. I found him. Heh heh.

  - Who the fuck are you? – I asked this shady finder.

  - Who? I told you—I’m Wilson.

  - Bullshit. Wilson’s dead. Wilson vaporized. I saw it myself. I was breathing him for half a day.

  - Heh heh. You sure about that?

  - Yeah.

  - Really sure?

  - Ninety… five percent.

  - What if I tell you about that time you went to your girlfriend’s parents’ house with a stomach bug? You were—

  - Stop! Fine… Ninety-two percent.

  - So, listen up, boys, this is hilarious. Basically—

  - Enough, Zid, I don’t care. – Ash finally cut in.

  - I’m Wilson!

  - You’ll be looking for a new body if you don’t shut up.

  - He farted and cursed so loud her mom called an ambulance! Hahaha. No clue what that is, but… - Wilson suddenly died from a crystal through his head.

  - Phew… Big human thanks. – I sighed in relief.

  - Ashf, you know how mush I hate thish!

  - AAAH!!! What the fuck!? What the fuck!? What the fuck!!!

  - Stop yelling, it’s annoying.

  - How the hell do I not yell? The doggo came back to life and it’s talking!!!

  - I’m Wilshon!

  - … What the fuck?

  - Ugh… That’s dead Zid. He used to be a necromancer. Now he’s just a bodiless spirit. Result of failed experiments on himself. He can possess corpses. Once per body.

  - Corpses? Wait. Don’t tell me… - Shit, that doggo’s nodding at me way too creepily.

  - Exshactly. I’m your poor demon you didn’t kill with shleeping pillsh and literally murdered. Good thing that head wash lying there.

  - No… No… This can’t be…

  - We shpent two weeksh together.

  - Nooooo!!!

  - Yessshhh!

  - Goddamn, you’re annoying… - Another crystal appeared in the air. Wilson died.

  - You know, it’sh not very nicshe, my friend. – Wilson returned in a new doggo.

  - Shut up, I’m already pissed. – Ash fumed.

  - Please, is there a way to kill him? It’s critical. I was way too open with him.

  - Ooooh yesssh. I remember everything.

  - Please! – I begged.

  - Yeah. There’s one way. Watch. – Another crystal pierced the poor doggo’s head.

  - How many timesh can you do thish?

  - It doesn’t work.

  - I noticed.

  - Ash long ash there are corpshesh, it’sh all good.

  - If it’s not too much, could someone toss those carcasses out of the corner and not die anytime soon?

  - Leave him, Zidar. We’ve got a long talk ahead. You’ve no idea how tired I am.

  - No shit…

  - I waited a month in ambush for you. Don’t you read maps?

  - For every sneaky ass, there’s a sneakier one.

  - What? What’s that saying mean?

  - That you’re a loser.

  - You know I caught you, right?

  - Oh. Right. Shit. You just got lucky.

  - Sure… Whatever. This is getting old. I’ve got a ton of questions.

  - Oh, perfect timing. I’ve got a ton of answers. Can’t wait to hit your questions with them.

  - Great. Glad we’re on the same page.

  - Me too.

  - First question: how’d you escape?

  - Go fuck yourself.

  - What?

  - Yeah.

  - …

  - …

  - Did someone help you?

  - Kiss my ass.

  - Why’d you break the machine?

  - Drop dead.

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  - What do those symbols you left on it mean? – A sign reading “dick.”

  - Dick.

  - Dick?

  - Dick.

  - …

  - …

  - Seriously?

  - Yeah.

  - …

  - …

  - Why’d you…

  - Go fuck yourself.

  - …

  - …

  - But it’s…

  - Kiss my ass.

  - …

  - …

  - You an idiot?

  - It’s modern art, you wouldn’t get it.

  - Hahfahfahfa… - Wilson lost it.

  - We’re at a dead end again.

  - You think? Seems like a pretty productive chat to me.

  - AAAfahfahfa…

  - Shit… Riz, toss all the corpses outside.

  - Yes, boss.

  - Hafa… Hey, leave me! No! – Wilson went outside.

  - Alright. Let’s start over. – Ash began again.

  - With pleasure.

  - I can kill you.

  - I can tell you to fuck off.

  - Hm…

  - Go fuck yourself. See? Nailed it.

  - What do I do with you?

  - Got one idea, but your teeth are too dangerous for it.

  - Got it… I think I understand.

  - Wait. I was kidding. Really bad idea!

  - You saw through me then. You knew I was lying. It was too dumb. If you die leaving hell, what’s the point of which exit? The portal’s no salvation, obviously.

  - No shit, obviously… Is today “mind-blowing news” day?

  - Zid told me what he saw. Hard to believe, but I guess I have to. Seems it’s about race… He says you killed about two hundred demons, including Ulfric.

  - Phew… Finally, he’s dead… - The guard whispered.

  - Yeah… Hate the cold.

  - And his legs were such a pain.

  - “Your legs are weak, mine are awesome.”

  - Your sand’s no better, always in my eyes. Can you be more careful?

  - Oh, who’s talking? You poisoned my human meat last week. I was puking half the day.

  - Lies. You just eat crap all the time.

  - You little…

  - Enough! – Ash cut off his crew.

  - Sorry, boss.

  - You guys are like one big family.

  - Pretty much.

  - Huh?

  - Too lazy to explain, don’t distract me. When you knew I was lying, you lied back about how to become a half-demon. I ran experiments, all failures. You knew you could escape, so no point telling me the truth.

  - Nah. That was the honest truth. Khem… - I barely held back a laugh.

  - Or… You knew from the start! The healer camp incident… After Zid’s report, I was sure it was you. But something bugged me. Pyr’s body was found headless. We couldn’t find it, or many others’. Pyr was probably the strongest demon after the Lord, despite his mediocre level. He could kill anyone a hundred meters away with a thought. I don’t believe you beat him, no matter how strong your race is.

  - Holy shit… And I only got a couple levels for him.

  - I suspect he’s not dead at all.

  - Deader than dead.

  - Faking his death would be easy for him. He experimented on demons and humans. I think he created a hybrid. A being that could tip the balance. A super-demon…

  - Whoa… Nietzsche’s giving a standing ovation. He’s not here, is he? Or did you pin World War II on him? – Ash, lost in thought, ignored my quips.

  - I first saw you in Dapaedi. I think you caused that mess. Hundreds of dead demons, including a general. Water’s muddied. The exit’s sealed. Or rather, Cerberus was recalled. But we don’t know if he’s the only one who can open the gate. Essentially, the gate’s unguarded. The Lord’s lax approach to internal affairs scares me sometimes… Then I showed up. My arrival was predictable. Anyone who knows Axis, that singing idiot, could’ve seen it coming. And my actions. I took you to the teleporter. Maybe you used it. No one knows where it leads or who’s on the other side. You couldn’t get out, but someone else could’ve. To cover your tracks, you destroyed the machine—it was useless now. Then the healer camp… Ninety percent of the doctors dead. Only those loyal to Pyr remain. But something went wrong there. I think you planned to take all the kids brought there. But the local demons started an underground trade. The wall graffiti suggests that. Your plan partly failed because they were all killed. That threw you off, so you got bolder. This last incident… It was systematic extermination. You picked a time when everyone gathered to not miss anyone. A bold move. Perfect for undermining the Lord’s authority. You completely ignored my bait. You knew there was no other portal. It’s all part of one plan. A plan to seize power!

  - Holy… fucking… shit…

  - So I’m right, huh!? – Ash lit up.

  - No. That phrase means something else.

  - Whatever! Now I know everything. So, I need to find Pyr. Where is he?

  - In your ass.

  - I suspect he got out.

  - Nah, I’m telling you: check that big guy’s ass. He’s in there, just dig deeper.

  - Of course you won’t tell me. Even under torture. You’re built without pain, designed to keep your mouth shut. But I think I’ve got an idea to make you talk.

  Suddenly, my giant crystal coffin lifted into the air and slowly floated out of the cave, following Ash and his guard. His abilities really pissed me off.

  - So you can do that too?

  - Obviously.

  - You bastard. Know how hard it is to walk in this thing?

  - No.

  Ash sat on top of me again. He’s got a fetish for this or something. But now we just glided smoothly over the ground while the other demons rode horses. Six of them. Dangerous folks. Not sure I could take them. But they don’t seem too worried about me. Probably because killing a hundred or two demons is a walk in the park for them. Gotta use that. Pick the right moment to strike.

  - Hey! Shtop! Can we go a bit shlower?

  - A bit faster, maybe?

  - How about shutting up?

  - I’ve got shome juicy info!

  - Info?

  - Yeah…

  - Fine. – Ash slowed his flight, and Zid hopped on top of me too. – Spill.

  - Hey, whathh happenedsh aftersh Elshon Nutshucker collected allh the inthfinity sthonesh?

  - Not a damn word makes sense. How do you even talk with that dog mouth?

  - Lotsha practish.

  - Info! – Ash insisted.

  - I shaid it.

  - And I’m not surprised.

  - Listen, gotta ask, do you need to breathe?

  - No. I’m a corpshe.

  Ash caught my look and instantly got my drift. Zid’s head and body were trapped in a crystal cage. We flew in total silence after that. I wasn’t in the mood to talk. Just curious what Ash had planned to make me spill. And what’s there to say? He’d never believe the truth. As a rational demon, he’ll pick the most likely story. Even if it’s the nonsense he just spouted. Occam’s razor. Of two impossible versions, he’ll choose the more plausible one.

  After a while, we reached a large, solitary building under a crystal dome. It looked like a circus tent in a field. Inside, my eyes saw something that’d make me rethink my whole life. A display of absurd, unimaginable cruelty born of total, blinding ignorance. My shock-o-meter blasted into the stratosphere today.

  In an experiment to become a half-demon, based on my words, in the presence of a succubus, two old pals, Erik and Dean, were choking on blood poured into their mouths from above while vigorously raping two poor doggos trapped in crystal cages.

  I’ve seen all kinds of fucked-up shit. But this…

  - Ahem… Ash, you kinda missed the point of blood transfusion.

  A demon by each kid was pouring dark red liquid through funnels. Another sat behind, rhythmically moving their hips back and forth.

  - Something wrong?

  - Yeah. Everything.

  Ash ordered the madness stopped. The poor kids huddled in a corner, puking their guts out. Their bodies were emaciated. Pure insanity froze on their pale faces. Only the succubus, shifting foot to foot, couldn’t tear her eyes off their swollen junk.

  - Alright, I’ll tell you how to do it right.

  - I knew watching humans get tortured would loosen your tongue. You killed all those kids, didn’t you? Their bodies were neatly stacked. Each with one stab wound to the heart. Definitely not a demon’s work. And that graffiti… Your handwriting. You wanted Pyr to think they were sold for meat. I don’t know what he promised or threatened you with, but your humanity’s still there.

  - Really? Is that good or bad?

  - If you don’t want this to continue, tell me what Pyr’s planning.

  - Ugh… He’s dead. Stop making shit up.

  - Lies.

  - Fine, if we pull off a half-breed, you stop screwing with my head and let me go.

  - Deal.

  Of course he won’t let me go, but that’s not important now. I explained in detail what to do and how. I even offered to do it myself, but for some reason, they said no. Meanwhile, the kids came to. Spotting me in my sarcophagus, they were stunned. Though you’d think they couldn’t be more shocked…

  - You’re alive?

  - Yup. Like you guys. Thought you’d be fertilizer by now.

  - Bastard… - Erik’s eyes flared with vengeance.

  - Happy to see you too.

  - You know each other? – Ash was surprised.

  - Yeah, we go way back. Alright, everything’s ready. Start.

  - The doggos?

  - What? Oh, that… Haha. I was kidding, no doggos needed. How’d you even buy that?

  - I thought it was weird. But it made sense. The result’s rare, so the process should be unusual. Still don’t get why you’d say that.

  - Because it’s funny.

  - No, it’s not.

  - You don’t get it.

  - Hey, you two. – Ash turned to the kids. – Is it funny?

  - I’ll kill you! Kill you dead! You’re done! You’re a corpse! I’ll destroy you! Gut you! Burn you! Quarter you! Kill! Kill! Kill!

  - Heh heh… That’s his laugh.

  - Kill! Kill! Kill!...

  The kid screamed until Ash shut his mouth. The operation began. Demon blood flowed through veins. Erik was the first test subject. His brother watched in terror from his coffin. Ash perked up a bit. Only rare events could break his boredom. I was curious too. Could a simple transfusion really work? Or were other factors key? If this succeeded, I could maybe switch races back someday. Just need a donor. But… no miracle. After a few hours, Erik died.

  - Shit…

  - I won’t believe another word you say. – Ash concluded.

  - Nah… I think I figured it out.

  - And?

  - Think the blood type didn’t match.

  - Brother! Eriiiik! Wake up, please!

  - What’s that?

  - Humans have four blood types, based on some blood stuff. If they don’t match, the person dies during transfusion.

  - How do you tell them apart?

  - Erik… don’t leave me, please…

  - No clue.

  - Hm… Real helpful… - Ash’s sarcasm dripped.

  - Yeah, I know. I’m not a doctor.

  - So it’s all up to chance?

  - Yup. Just one in four. Shouldn’t be an issue.

  - It is. I don’t know when I’ll get even a dozen humans. It’s tough now. But I’ve got another idea. You say it’s blood-related? Let’s try a more interesting approach. If it works, it’ll be a revolution!

  - What’re you planning? Your smile’s giving me chills.

  - You’ll father a new race. Beings of unseen power. Totally loyal to the Lord. We’re heading to the Prime Mother to conceive a new generation from your blood!

  - Where? Whose mother? – I asked.

  - And here I AAAAM! – The kid suddenly revived.

  - Erik! Erik! Thank the gods, you’re alive! Alive! – Dean shouted.

  - What? Who’s Erik? I’m Wilson!