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  3rd POV

  Despite the late hour, MacLaren’s felt wide awake, pulsing with energy. A few customers just enjoy the night at this bar with their own energy, not only men who enjoyed their moment here, but also a few girls who wanted to enjoy their night and maybe make a few mistakes while they enjoyed it.

  “So? What do you think?”

  Ted looked at Barney with his awkward half-smile. Lily sipped her beer. Marshall had his arms folded, giving Ted the wise, thoughtful look of a man who had heard the whole tragic saga of why Ted didn’t spend the night with Robin… and why he stubbornly refused to admit that the ‘kiss’ barely counted as a kiss.

  Ted had finally explained it to them — the reason he didn’t consider it a “real” kiss.

  Turns out, Ted didn’t kiss Robin.

  Robin kissed him!.

  It wasn’t the same thing, alright? Robin initiated it. Robin “manned up.” Robin grabbed his neck and pulled him in.

  “I think…” Barney began, staring at Ted with dramatic intensity,

  “…that woman is HOT! I can see why she has that scarf—”

  “Dude!”

  “Come on!”

  Marshall and Lily both protested at once, because Barney clearly wasn’t listening to Ted’s story at all.

  Barney pointed past Ted toward a blonde woman with….well, Barney’s exact type every night: blonde, big-boobed, and wearing the confidence of a woman who knew it.

  Ted glanced back and nodded politely.

  “Yeah… she seems hot,” he said before turning back to Barney.

  Barney grinned wide, giving the woman his classic Barney Stinson signature smile — except she did not smile back at Barney.

  She checked out Ted instead.

  Ted, the one who had looked at her for half a second.

  “Seriously?!” Lily said, turning to look at the woman herself.

  “Oh yeah… she’s hot.”

  Then she shook her head.

  “No! Barney!”

  “Okay, okay!” Barney lifted his hands. “Clearly, that woman is into Ted—”

  “Not that blonde woman, dude,” Marshall cut in, taking another drink. Barney froze mid-sentence, staring at Marshall for a few seconds, then stared at Ted again.

  “TED. As your best friend—”

  “Marshall is my best friend.”

  “I am his best friend.”

  Barney frowned but continued anyway.

  “I think you’re moving too fast. And being stupid wanting to get into a relationship already.”

  He clapped Ted’s shoulder.

  “You CLEARLY would’ve scored with this girl if her coworker hadn’t interrupted. But! As your best friend—”

  “Marshall is my best friend.”

  “I am his best friend.”

  Barney ignored them completely.

  “Don’t get into a relationship so fast!” he pointed toward the blonde woman behind Ted, “That woman… with the big boobs… and blonde…”

  He grinned again at her.

  “…You know what? You’ll be fine. The girl likes you. You should’ve kissed her fiercely… anyway I’m gonna get that blonde’s number!”

  And Barney strutted off toward her table.

  Lily and Marshall both shook their heads — but as ridiculous as he was, Barney had a point.

  “Ted, you like this girl. And clearly, she likes you too. What’s stopping you?” Marshall asked, exhaling heavily.

  “Is she not The One?” Lily teased, raising a brow.

  Ted had always been a pursuer of “The One.”

  It’s who he was. Of course not to mention he's trying to find it so hard with a lot of women, you know what i am saying?

  Yes, Lily and Marshall were proof of the kind of love Ted wanted — the kind of future he dreamed about.

  And everything Lily said earlier about how many women wanted “a piece of Ted” in college… that was all true. Ted always had options.

  But that option does not always stay long.

  “I like her. A lot. But… it’s not the right time,” Ted said, taking a sip of beer.

  “I could’ve kissed her. I could’ve pushed her against her apartment door and carried her all the way inside while we kissed the whole time.”

  He sighed deeply.

  Lily smiled knowingly and glanced at Marshall.

  “Dude, you literally did that in college,” Marshall reminded him with a grimace.

  “You threw me out of the dorm while I was studying!”

  “Sorry, buddy, but daddy had needs…” Ted joked, wiggling his eyebrows.

  “Anyway… yeah, I could do that. But I didn’t feel like that was the right moment.”

  Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  Right then, Barney returned, whispering in Ted’s ear:

  “Pretend I gave you her number. Then hand it back to me.”

  Barney slipped a piece of paper with a phone number into Ted’s hand and glanced again at the blonde woman across the bar.

  Ted stared at the number. “Thank you…” he said dryly to the girl while she’s smiling knowingly to him.

  Barney sat back down, smirking while he grabbed the paper back.

  “What were we talking about?” Barney asked innocently as he tucked the paper into his pocket.

  It was painfully obvious what Barney did, he used Ted AGAIN to get the woman’s number.

  His tactic was simple:

  Make it seem like Ted asked for the number.

  Giving her some kind of Ted being interested in her or something while he's the one asking her with not that kind of interested gesture. Barney knows that Ted is not interested in her then he will call her with the lying words, saying Ted does not have time with her or some mean words to her which make Barney swooped in like a hero!

  Yeah, it was dumb.

  But this was Barney’s girl-of-the-night.

  So…

  “Anyway!”

  Lily just shook her head as Barney chuckled evilly and looked back at Ted.

  “So? How beautiful was she?”

  Ted kept his eyes on the television screen.

  “That beautiful,” he said, nodding as Robin appeared delivering the news.

  “Ooohh… she’s cute!” Lily said, waving at Carl. “Carl, turn it up!”

  “She’s the one, Ted?” Carl asked with a grin. “Good. Stay away from my girl, alright?”

  Ted laughed and lifted his beer.

  He didn’t see Yasmin anywhere — either she was working tonight, or Carl didn’t want her around.

  Either way, Carl looked happy that Ted finally found himself a girlfriend.

  “She’s not Ted’s girlfriend, Carl,” Marshall corrected him, making Carl’s smile fade.

  “But he’s trying,” Marshall added.

  “Well, same thing,” Carl shrugged before going back to serving customers.

  “She’s coming here later. You guys can meet her,” Ted said, turning back to his friends.

  “She’s amazing, guys! You’re gonna love her. She fits our group perfectly!”

  He started telling them about the date — how Robin handled his weird jokes, and all the small moments that made him grin like a fool.

  “So… this girl is great and she’s got our group vibe?” Lily asked with a meaningful look.

  “So… you want her to be part of the group?”

  “Oh my God, Ted! You want her to be your friend!” Marshall said, suddenly realizing Lily’s point.

  “You’re trying to friendzone her!”

  “Good man!” Barney said proudly, raising a hand for a high-five — which Ted refused.

  “No! Did you not hear me saying I wanted to ravage her all the way to her apartment door?!” Ted protested.

  “I’m INTO her!”

  “Ted…” Lily sighed.

  “If you wanted her like that, you would’ve done it. Exactly like that.

  But you didn’t! You chickened out!

  You didn’t even give her the legendary Ted Kiss!” Lily’s voice went up dramatically.

  “I’m sorry…”

  A soft voice behind Ted spoke.

  The blonde girl tapped his shoulder.

  Ted turned.

  “Did you already save my number?” she asked, biting her lower lip and giving him a seductive look.

  “Uhmm… yes. I’ll call you,” Ted said with a polite smile.

  “Great,” she leaned in closer, whispering,

  “I can tie a cherry stem with my tongue…”

  “……………”

  Ted didn't say anything and just stared intensely, which made her not give anything or say anything but just stared at Ted. Ted's intense look is giving some blank answer or blank signal to her, he just stares at her eyes like he's talking to her.

  “………”

  She stared back — a little turned on by Ted’s weird eye contact, nodding slightly as if to encourage him.

  “Go away, bitch!.”

  Lily’s voice cut through the air like a dagger.

  She glared at the woman with the fury of a modern-day Medusa.

  “Tch…”

  The woman clicked her tongue but managed a smile back at Ted.

  “I’ll wait for your call…”

  She kissed Ted’s cheek and walked off with her friends, giggling all the way to the exit.

  “...That’s not my fault,” Ted said, giving Lily a helpless look.

  Lily exhaled with the exhausted patience of someone who had known Ted Mosby for too long.

  “See? If you weren’t interested in your date, you’d reject her just like that.”

  Then Lily paused, correcting herself with a frustrated sigh.

  “Okay—maybe not with that intense glare you gave her… or that Ted Mosby ‘silent stare’ thing you just did… but you know what I mean!”

  “Yeah, Ted,” Marshall added casually, “If you’re into a girl, you kiss her. You make moves she can’t reject. I saw you do it over and over again in college.”

  “That was….MY dibs!” Barney interjected dramatically, throwing his hands up.

  Ted rubbed his face. “So… you’re saying I didn’t want a relationship with her? That I didn’t like her enough?”

  “Well…” Lily tilted her head, thinking. “It’s not that you didn’t like her enough. But… I don’t know. It feels like you didn’t want to date her.”

  Her eyebrows knit together. Even she was confused by it.

  “I mean—this doesn’t make any sense. You LOVE being in a relationship. You’re Ted Mosby. But this Robin girl you described? She’s clearly into you. Yet you acted like you didn’t want her.” She said and tried to piece it together.

  The word is ‘Tried.’

  “It’s complicated!” Lily snapped again, now arguing with herself and getting angry at the universe for no reason.

  Every bit of her “woman logic” and “Lily Aldrin stubbornness” was starting to malfunction.

  Marshall chuckled, watching his fiancée break down over someone else’s problem.

  He put an arm around her. “Aww, Lilypad…”

  Then he looked at Ted.

  “You just wanted to be her friend, Ted,” Marshall said gently. “It’s like you tried to go for it, but you shook yourself. You backed down.”

  Marshall shrugged. “Why? I think you already know the answer. Because we don’t.”

  —--

  Ted POV

  Yes, it took me too long to kiss her.

  Yes, Robin clearly gave me the signal. I could’ve kissed her, walked her to her apartment, maybe even carried her up the stairs like the old college version of me. And yes—I already wanted to date her at that moment.

  So why didn’t I move faster?

  It was the perfect moment.

  Even her coworker came later than I expected.

  Why didn’t I kiss her?

  Why couldn’t I take that moment?

  Is it because I know the plot?

  Why does that bother me so much?

  A thousand questions ran through my head, until I finally realized one thing:

  I chickened out.

  I kept telling myself I’m the “New Ted Mosby,” the reincarnated Ted Mosby who knows the storyline, who’s supposed to be better, smarter, more prepared. But instead of fighting for the moment… I waited for the universe to do the job the plot did in the show.

  I didn’t fight the universe.

  I let it push me.

  Why didn’t I take her into her apartment and have my way with her already?

  I know the universe is trying to keep me on track.

  I know the story wants me to stay close to the original timeline.

  But come on—I changed so many things already, right?

  I have more money than original Ted.

  I’ve dated more women than original Ted.

  I’m better looking than original Ted.

  So why did I freeze?

  Is it because I know Robin becomes my friend later?

  While I was stuck in that tornado of thoughts, I didn’t even notice Robin standing right behind me.

  “Ted?”

  Her voice snapped me back into reality. I turned around.

  “Hey. Sorry I’m late,” Robin said, glancing at Lily and Marshall.

  “Oh—yeah, that’s fine.” I stood up and offered her my seat.

  “Guys, this is Robin. Robin, this is Lily and Marshall.” I said while grabbing another chair.

  “Hey,” Robin smiled. “Ted told me about you guys.”

  Then she looked at Barney.

  “And you… you’re the creepy man who made my friend happy?”

  “Who?” Barney blinked, genuinely confused.

  “That’s what I thought. Manwhore.”

  Robin chuckled while Barney grimaced.

  “It’s not manwhore, alright? I call it ‘Awesome Barney.’” He downed his drink.

  Robin didn’t respond, she just looked at me.

  “So? What did you want to talk about?”

  I could feel Lily and Marshall staring daggers into my spine.

  I could feel them silently screaming: Don’t be stupid Ted, and tell her!

  Robin looked curious, waiting for me to say something.

  And then…

  “…Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

  Yep.

  There it was.

  I said it.

  Okay, Universe—screw you.

  I am fighting the plot.

  I am skipping Season 1.

  Season 2, baby!

  “What?”

  Robin said at the same time Lily said, “WHAT?!”

  Okay, not quite the same, while Robin said it with an disbelief tone, Lily said with a screaming tone.

  Lily shook her head violently.

  Robin stared at me, confused and completely thrown off.

  “What?” I repeated dumbly. “I like you. I feel like we could be something.”

  Yes, I was fighting the universe.

  Yes, I was trying to break the plot.

  But one thing I forgot:

  I didn’t actually know how Robin truly felt right now.

  “No, Ted. We just had one date.” Robin frowned, disappointed—like she expected better from me.

  “And you already want me to be your girlfriend?

  I thought you were different, Ted.”

  She stood up immediately and walked out of the bar.

  I didn’t get a chance to say anything.

  What about all the signals?

  What about everything she did tonight?

  Does she not like me?

  Am I the bastard here?

  “Hahaha! TED GOT REJECTED!”

  Barney’s voice cut through the air like a bullet.

  I glared at him for half a second, then stood up instantly.

  No thinking, no overthinking—just pure panic.

  I rushed after Robin.

  I knew I was being irrational.

  I knew I sounded desperate.

  I knew I messed up.

  But I didn’t want her to leave the bar—

  or leave our life—

  thinking she hated me.