“Did Newt always have three eyes?” Bill asked Ellen as they met to discuss the final tally of the loot. “And were they always so black?”

  Ellen’s eyes shot to her familiar, currently in mostly-raven form on her shoulder.

  “Stop that!” she hissed at it and the third eye vanished—though not in the way she would have preferred.

  A long tongue snaked out of its beak, plucked the eye from the head, and pulled it back into the beak. The place the eye had been was unblemished feathers.

  “Oh, that happens from time to time, don’t worry about it.” She said, brushing aside Bill’s concern.

  “That was… what was that?” Bill asked.

  “Don’t worry about it,” Ellen said, more firmly. “Wizard stuff. It’s not really a crow. See?”

  Ellen snapped her fingers and a barrage of arcane bolts shot from her hand into the raven, making it vanish into a strange cloud of darkness.

  Then she summoned it back, and it appeared out of a jagged rift in the air, beyond which lay a blackness that sent shivers through anyone that looked into it too long. This time it only had 2 eyes, but both of those eyes glared at Ellen.

  While Grom was unaware of the specifics of Cland’s tenets, Ellen knew for certain that the god was not a friend or fan of fey, demons, devils, outsiders, or those who dealt with them. She suspected that Bill in his budding worship of Cland knew as much and wouldn’t take kindly to the recent development.

  “So, how much did we net?” Ellen asked to move the conversation away from any potential complications.

  “With the reward from the Count, 9,231 gold and change,” Syril said.

  “What did we get for the…” Ellen asked and trailed off.

  “Penis,” Grom finished.

  “It’s a relic!” Linar insisted.

  “He offered seven gold, but Linar refused,” Syril said. “It’s still in your bag of holding.”

  “I don’t want it in there anymore,” Ellen said. “Why doesn’t he keep it in his?”

  “I’m not supposed to have one,” Linar said.

  “That’s not the same as not actually having one,” Ellen said.

  “What are the shares?” Grom asked, cutting off the bickering.

  “It’ll be will split three ways between myself, you, and Bill since Ellen and Linar’s items are certainly worth more than the total haul. 3,077 each.”

  “Why was Linar so invested in the appraisal process then?” Bill asked.

  “Professional pride,” Linar said, puffing himself up.

  “What profession would that be?” Bill asked.

  “I’m a businessman,” Linar said.

  Bill laughed, and everyone turned to Linar with puzzled expressions.

  “What?” he asked.

  “In what way are you a businessman?” Grom asked.

  “In the way that anyone with partial ownership stakes various business ventures across the city would be considered a businessman, i.e. Literally.”

  When the stares continued, he turned the question around.

  Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

  “What do you all do with the gold you earn? Spend it?”

  Ellen nodded.

  “Do you know how much it costs to be a practicing wizard?” she asked. “Every time I resummon this damned bird it costs about ten gold in reagents.”

  “And you just wasted it on a demonstration?” Linar asked aghast, but then his eyebrows rose and he reconsidered. “Never mind.”

  “What?” Syril asked. “Why never mind?”

  “I have a ten percent stake in a little reagent shop in the brown district.”

  Ellen perked up at that, “Razzle Dazzle Boom? I love that shop.”

  Linar nodded.

  “Resummon that raven all you like. Each time gives me a tidy profit.”

  “Can I get a discount?” Ellen asked.

  “Depends,” Linar said. “How are you with doing some less than legal magics?”

  “I don’t hate it,” Ellen said.

  “We’ll talk,” Linar said.

  Ellen noticed the disappointed look Bill gave her and yelled internally. That look made her feel a mix of emotions she had no reason to feel.

  I don’t want him to like me! Why do I care what he thinks? She raged.

  “This is my first big score,” Bill said, answering Linar’s question belatedly.

  All the eyes turned to the non-human members of the team.

  “We… uh…” Grom said, looking to Syril for help.

  “Aren’t good with money,” Syril admitted for both of them, receiving a slap from Grom. “Hey!”

  “It’s the truth,” Syril said. “We send some back to the orphanage that raised us, but… not enough. We have to stay anonymous.”

  “I’ve offered to be your business manager,” Linar said with disappointment.

  “I’m pretty sure that you’re running some sort of scheme,” Syril said.

  “Oh, I am,” Linar said, adjusting the collar of his cloak. “But I wouldn’t put your coin into that. For you, I’m thinking exotic hardwoods.”

  “Because I’m a half-elf?” Syril said with the beginnings of a glare.

  “No, because it’s used to make instruments, and you should invest in what you love.”

  “What do you love about reagents?” Ellen asked.

  “I know they cost a lot of gold, and I love gold,” Linar said.

  “Exotic hardwood…” Syril said considering. “Isn’t that a niche and saturated market?”

  “That’s nothing a well-placed match can’t solve,” Linar said. “That’s another reason I suggested the business.”

  “I think, for now, I’ll pass,” Syril said.

  “Suit yourself,” Linar said. “Bill, if you need help hiding your income from the soon-to-be-ex, I know a great bookkeeper that’s a master of cooking the books.”

  “Let me guess,” Syril said. “You know him from you professional ‘association?’”

  “Exactly,” Linar said. “I told you it’s not all thieves.”

  “I’m not sure that’s the great rebuttal you think it is,” Syril said.

  “I will pass,” Bill said. “I don’t think Cland would approve of hiding wealth from those it is owed.”

  He looked at Grom, who was cleaning a stain off his jerkin. It took a moment of silence for Grom to realize all attention was on him.

  “What?” he asked looking up. Seeing Bill’s eyes intent on him he guessed at what he missed, “Oh? Cland? Exactly right.”

  “Suit yourself,” Linar said. “But for the love of the gods, please at least deposit it into a high yield savings account.”

  “A what now?” Bill asked.

  Linar put he arm around the warrior’s shoulders and gestured before them as if showing him a marvelous panorama before them and said, “Compound interest.”

  ?

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