Journal Entry — Day 7 (Evening)Bought this thing today.

  I couldn’t help myself. Plus, the music pyer sounded like exactly what I needed to drown out my thoughts. A little over 50 credits gone already, which means half of my challenge reward is basically gone. Figures. I told myself I’d stick to the essentials, but apparently my definition of “essential” now includes scribbling and noise.

  I guess I just needed… something. Something normal.

  The shop kept trying to tempt me with “comfort” items, and I’m too fried to resist. My head’s been spinning ever since the match. I can still feel the excitement of it all and see the look on J.H.’s face when—well. No. Don’t write about that.

  Journal Entry — Day 8 (Morning)Didn’t sleep great. The penalty device presses against me in a way that makes me feel custrophobic, and it definitely doesn’t make mornings easy. I don’t even know if it’s supposed to feel this tight or if that’s just part of the punishment. Every time I move, it gives this little mechanical twitch like it’s mocking me.

  I hate that my first thought when I woke up was, What if J.H. also got one of these?

  I tried not to think about it, but now my brain’s stuck picturing—nope. Absolutely not writing that down.

  Anyway, moving on.

  I curled up in my little nest and grabbed the pillow. It’s not exactly soft, but wrapping up in the bnkets helped. The tent’s walls are thin, but at least they make it feel like I’ve got somewhere that’s mine—not just more of this pce pressing in on me. And no, I’m not talking about the device. Mostly.

  I’m starting to think this journal might end up being the only sane thing I do all week.

  Unscensored version

  Journal Entry — Day 8 (Late Night)Couldn’t sleep again. Ended up buying the Rechargeable LED Lantern so I could at least see what I’m writing. Only cost 15 credits, but I already know I’ll need the compact battery generator to keep it running. Forty credits isn’t impossible, but it’s still a full day’s worth of work unless I get lucky and pull a high-paying Job.

  Speaking of batteries—still not sure if the little music pyer needs recharging. I was so happy when I bought it, but it only has one button: start or stop. No skip, no shuffle, no volume. Just endless cssical music. I guess things could be worse.

  Maybe I’m just trying to distract myself from… me.

  I haven’t really had time to think about that st “body upgrade” I bought out of an urge to be more manly, but lying here with nothing else to focus on—it feels wrong.

  Not painful, just… wrong.

  Journal Entry — Day 9 (Noon)The stupid Brothel Job showed up again on today’s board. I need the credits, but the risk isn’t worth it—not after st time. Just seeing the name made my stomach twist.

  Still, I feel like I’m getting better at making this cube livable. The tent’s holding up, the lighting feels softer somehow. It almost feels like a real room if I squint hard enough.

  I keep wondering what Sara’s been up to. It feels wrong not seeing her for more than a week. We used to text every day, even if it was just dumb memes or “good luck at work.”

  I hope she’s okay. I hope she hasn’t noticed I’m gone.

  It’s a little chilly today, but the tent’s kept me warm enough. Cozy, even.

  Almost peaceful—if I ignore the timer still counting down on my penalty.

  Journal Entry — Day 9 (Late Night)Yup. Time to face the facts, Ashe.

  These things on your chest? Yeah… they’re boobs.

  Journal Entry — Day 11 (Morning)Skipped yesterday. Not on purpose. Just… couldn’t.I thought about writing, but my focus, and hands kept wondering elsewhere. I guess in a way I've been doing some self discovery, well a lot actually, especially st night..

  I've gotten good at making my *eraser marks* boobs feel good. But no matter how hard I try I just can't reach the peak.. and it just makes the device hurt even more. I feel like I'm going to explode.

  Journal Entry — Day 11 (Evening)I can’t think straight tely. Every time I try to focus on a Job, my brain drifts off. The constant pull in my body won’t shut up, and it’s ruining my concentration. Not to mention how sore I constantly feel down there. Anything that needs focus is a lost cause. I failed two assignments today just because I couldn’t stop myself from zoning out.

  The worst part is that they were both low-payout ones. By the time I bought food and a new liner for the toilet unit, the credits banced right back to zero. Feels like I’m running in circles: credits in, credits out, nothing to show for it.

  I keep thinking about what the system said during the st challenge—“weekly.” That means another one’s coming soon. Another test, another room, another opponent.

  Despite the crazy circumstances we’re in, J.H. seemed to be enjoying himself. I wonder how he does it.

  Journal Entry — Day 12 (Morning)Yup. Just got an alert on my terminal that another challenge will happen on Day 14.

  At least this pce follows some kind of rulebook.

  I guess I still haven’t really written down my thoughts about J.H.

  He wasn’t what I expected. When he first started answering my messages in the terminal—sending bnkets, even soup—I couldn’t tell if he was just being nice or if he was some kind of weirdo using the Influence Tokens to spy on me.

  But after meeting him in person, I don’t think that’s it. He didn’t seem like the type who’d waste his time spying on some guy like me. I didn’t get the feeling he swung that way either, which is a big relief. Honestly, he looks like the kind of guy who’d have no trouble getting girls on the outside too.

  He helped me out a few times that first week, even before the challenge. And during our match, he could’ve embarrassed me a hundred different ways—but he didn’t. He even chose to split the reward credits instead of picking one of those other options.

  Heck, he didn’t even call me out—another man—wearing my stupid sunflower dress. Even I probably couldn’t have resisted making a joke about that.

  Sure, he teased me a little, but it felt different. Not mean, not cruel—just… lighthearted. It didn’t sting the way it usually does when my friends would tease me about my body.

  I think he’s someone I can trust. Maybe we can find ways to help each other out in the future.

  Journal Entry — Day 13 (Evening)Skipped the morning entry. I spent the whole day trying to get ready for whatever the next challenge decides to throw at me. Cleaned up my tent, organized supplies, double-checked the faucet, even splurged on bath water to clean myself up in style instead of just doing a wipe-down—honestly, anything to keep my head busy.

  Tried to calm down my very pent-up frustrations again, like I’ve done every day… sometimes repeatedly. My body still won’t cooperate, but I did figure out a new technique involving my pillow. Following a rhythm with my hips helped too. Something about the movement seemed to help, and I feel like I’m onto something there. Honestly, it probably would’ve been a lot of fun if it weren’t for this infernal pink thing squeezing down on me. Might be worth trying again, with or without it.

  At least I managed to eat something decent and get cleaned up. It’s supposed to be another warm day tomorrow, so maybe that’ll make things easier.

  The daily luxury item was kind of weird today. It was called the P-Pleaser. The description said it helps boys reach climax without the use of their front bits. Paraphrasing, of course, because the exact words were much lewder. No idea how that works, but it would’ve been a massive lifesaver if I could’ve afforded it. The price was wild: 250 credits.

  Can’t imagine anyone being able to afford that. The most expensive thing I’ve seen so far was a handheld game console for 1,000 credits. Who even gets that many?

  Anyway, that’s enough window-shopping for today.

  Focused, happy thoughts, Ashe.I can handle whatever tomorrow brings if I just give it my all.

  sUWUly