A warm light wrapped around Ray, shielding her from worry, from grief and shock. She felt only faintly the shadows of her own dark thoughts, her accusations and curses against herself and against the Dream, which had torn this explosive power out of her.

  Why had it been her who brought the sun? Why couldn’t it have happened earlier? Then she might have simply walked on at the sight of the radiant star, full of strength and confidence. But now… Elga was gone, pulverized, vanished.

  Ray knew she had awakened someone again, but this time not to protect someone else. No, this time it had been only her lack of control. She couldn’t blame anyone else…

  At the edge of her mind, she felt the darkness that these thoughts stirred in her. Again. Why couldn’t she just live without this fear of the dark? Why did something always have to happen that drove her back toward the deepest black?

  Still, she had the light. She had more light than probably anyone else. She had brought the sun. The price had been Elga’s existence in the Dream, at least for now. Because maybe, just maybe, she would truly return one day…

  Bathing in the light within herself, Ray swore she would find the place Elga had dreamed of.

  And if I don’t find it, I’ll create it myself…

  The thoughts kept returning: Elga, the sun, her guilt, the light, and the darkness pressing down on her. But every time the fear grew too strong, every time worry closed in, she could retreat into the kindness of the radiant circle that let her drift upward into her mind. She was endlessly grateful for the revelation of the symbol, another thing she owed to Elga…

  In the moments when Ray dwelled deep within herself, overwhelmed by all that had happened, she sometimes wondered what was going on outside. For what felt like an eternity, nothing reached her, until at some point she felt a sense of lightness, and the light within her pulsed in rhythm with an unfamiliar melody that seemed almost transcendent, even though she could not hear its notes. Memories of Demoa scattered into her light, and she felt even calmer. Ray was glad for it, but soon she was alone again in silence, leaping from fragment to fragment of thought as if hopping over stones in a stream to reach the other side.

  Only… what was on the other side?

  The circle… the circle and the light. That was her goal.

  She would bring the realm a new era, one where people could look forward and flourish under the glow of the radiant sun and the reverent moon. To make the Dream into an even more beautiful place than it already was. She would make sure there was no more darkness, no more grief, no more guilt or doubt, so everyone could live as they wished…

  Once again, she felt how wonderfully the radiant circle within her kept all dark at bay, forming an unshakable bastion she was slowly beginning to expand. Every thought of a brighter, better future in the Dream, of endless time with Dio, relaxed and happy, of carefree days and bliss, was a new stone in her stronghold against the black. She grew more certain, her fortress thicker, and the end of her deep journey inward came ever closer.

  Am I that? Someone who brings the light? Someone who destroys the darkness and improves the world? Will I help fill this Dream with wonders and bring people hope, joy, and peace? Carefreeness…? Yes, I will… I think that’s who I am… something like that…

  The thoughts soothed and strengthened her, even though the negativity was still there, still battering her walls. But they held. The light was with her…

  “…not much farther, almost there…”

  Words slowly found their way to her, distant but unmistakably spoken by Eri.

  Slowly, Ray began to drift out of her inner space, leaving behind her private thoughts and finally returning to the Dream. At least now she knew what she wanted to do. It would be hard, but she would fight the darkness.

  Inside me... and outside.

  “…told you… should never have left her behind…”

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  “What… what’s going on… Where am I…?” Ray felt heavy, infinitely heavy. Inside herself she had been light, weightless, but now… she felt something pressing into her back, not exactly gently, and a little prickly. Her eyes had to adjust to her surroundings, and she blinked repeatedly to get used to the light streaming down from the sky onto her.

  “She… By the sun, she’s awake again… blessed be the Light!” said a deep voice.

  Olver? Or Sars…? She had heard the two so rarely, she could hardly tell them apart…

  Groaning, Ray pushed herself upright. She blinked again. The air was slightly humid, but not unpleasant, and with her hands she felt she was lying in a pile of grass or hay.

  Three fuzzy shapes sat nearby, one red, the others brownish. Eri, Sars, and Olver.

  “Sparky, how are you feeling?” asked the Pilgrim with uncharacteristic gentleness.

  “I… I just need a moment to collect myself, please…” Ray shielded her face from the sun and after a few more blinks, she could see more clearly.

  She sat in a small meadow carpeted with purple flowers, claimed by small, vibrating yellow-purple insects. The humming sounded faint in her ears, and the sweet scent of nectar rose to her nose. Above her, the sun shone, beautiful and majestic at its zenith. Around her, the three men sat, looking pale and concerned. They had simply sat down in the grass, but Ray noticed that she herself had been laid in a makeshift bed of thick hay.

  “I… Why are you looking so…” Ray tilted her head in confusion. Something was… and then she gasped in shock. “Where is Demoa?”

  Eri only stared at her wordlessly, but his lips twitched and his black beard seemed to tremble slightly.

  “Sparky… I… we… she…” he stammered, swallowing hard with anger.

  His eyes drifted away from hers, and his cheeks flushed red.

  “You’re not to blame. There were too many. We’re lucky she was able to stop them. Quite a feat. I wouldn’t have thought her capable of it, I must admit with some shame,” said Olver thoughtfully.

  Ray stared at them in disbelief.

  “What happened to Demoa?” she asked again, shivering.

  The silence was answer enough. It took a while for the lump to form in her throat, for the Dream to feel a little more distant again, but eventually grief broke through.

  “That can’t… how?”

  Eri told her in brief words, but she hardly listened, her eyes stayed fixed on the slope above them.

  “Why didn’t you attack them, Eri? It would have been self-defense,” she asked, partly to distract herself and partly, maybe, to assign blame to someone.

  Yet she knew there had likely been no other way…

  “I can’t turn my fire against people. I can’t. It would be catastrophic. All I can do is give the impression, protect, like a parkin flaring its eyes in danger…” he said, running his hand uneasily through his beard.

  “Why? It would have saved Demoa. Wasn’t she lucid? Wasn’t she our hope, just like you said? You said that to me?” Ray pressed.

  “You’re different, more valuable. You brought that up there, just as I suspected… something great, a world change! We’d all been hoping it would happen… Demoa was wonderful, but she didn’t have nearly your strength, even if she was suddenly more capable than I was, for that one short moment. Her scent, her presence… she drove everyone into ecstasy. How she managed that, I don’t know…”

  Ray felt herself start to tremble, and a glimmer of light rose around her, but she kept it under control, barely. Still, she couldn't hold back everything.

  “YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS! More valuable? What is that supposed to mean? What gives you the right to abandon her for some idea like that?” Ray roared.

  His words were cruel, insane, callous. Then, she realized she wasn’t only angry at Eri. She was also angry at Elga, who had given her life for these same thoughts, and at herself, for not helping in the first place, for letting Demoa’s waking happen at all.

  “Ray, whatever your fate may be, whether it’s what Eri says or not, whether you will go on to lead us further into the Light, the only thing that matters is that Elga believed in you. And we trust her! Elga’s life was almost sacred to us, but the fact that she gave it for you makes one thing clear: yours is even more important,” Olver cut in.

  “Yes. Elga wasn’t a fool, she saw something in you, and that trust brought us the Sun, the moon, the stars… And finally, Olver and I woke from our half-numb states. We want more now, we have visions, things we want to do! We owe all of that to you. So yes, you’re worth more to us! Because you can do more good for more people! And sacrifing what we can to thank you is the least we can do to repay you! I think demoa probably thought the same” Sars added firmly.

  Ray let out a cry and collapsed back into her grass bed, clutching her hair and breathing deeply.

  Was she worth more? Not as a person, of course, but as a lucid one? Was she destined for something great, the way Eri said? And Elga too? Demoa? She wanted to strengthen the light, to bring it to everyone… but did she want others to demand that of her? To dedicate themselves to making sure she reached that goal someday? No! She didn’t want to walk her path propped up by the people around her, people who partly trusted her and placed the burden of their hopes on her, and partly had only crossed her path by misfortune, like the two who had attacked Dio. The ones Ray herself had awakened. Like Elga. Like Demoa.

  What if I fail…? Will I be judged, standing on the crumbling remains of their memory...?

  She felt the darkness beyond the golden fortress in her mind and reassured herself that her walls still held. Still, the thought frightened her: to fail, to harm people, to feed the darkness instead of the light… What if the darkness took her by surprise and broke through her walls? How much harm would she do then, broken by the black within her?

  Demoa, I’m sorry… I only hurt you...