Chapter 2
It wasn’t particularly hot tonight which was good for Zoe and Lis, they were looking through the books in Zoe’s van trying to extract any cookbooks they could find, most especially they were looking for baking books. But anything cooking related might sell.
I wouldn’t have believed it if anyone had told me. But when the sports car came to a roaring halt in a parking spot close to the front door, Faith stepped out of the passenger side looking like a super model at a Detroit car show. That part I would have believed Faith is a very pretty young woman. The part that I wouldn’t have believed was who stepped out of the driver's side. Benjamin Jones, the very man that had arrested Faith as an escort, a writer from our collective Monique Miller, he arrested her for murder. Both Faith and Monique had been cleared of all wrong doing. Jones had also gone after me, and my attorney Eve had dared him to arrest me, she claimed that she would eviscerate Jones on the stand. Jones hadn’t had the courage to try it. This should be interesting.They both came into the store.
“Hello, Laura, it’s great to see you. You remember Ben, I’m sure. Ben has something that he would like to say to you. Don’t you, Ben?”
“Ah, yes, I do. First, Ms Eriksson. I want to apologize to you for thinking that you murdered the young writer, Lachlan Grauers. I’d also like an opportunity to apologize to Ms Miller for arresting her. I deeply regret my actions.”
“That’s very nicely said, Benjamin. Let me go upstairs and see if Monique is in her room. I’ll be right back.”
I walked upstairs and knocked on Monique’s door.
“Come in.”
I opened the door and stepped in.
“Monique, you are not going to believe who is downstairs asking to speak to you. Actually, he is here to apologize to you.”
“Apologize?”
“Yes, for arresting you for murder.”
“You are kidding right?”
“No not in the least, he really is here to apologize. He is with Faith, so I assume he already apologized to her. He just very politely apologized to me. It’s hard to believe he is the same arrogant dimwitted detective. You could always secretly record the apology then if you sue him, you’d have him and the department over a barrel.”
“I could never sue anyone, Laura.”
“I know honey, you’d make a great president, unlike the one that we’ve got. But even if you don’t want to sue, it might give you closure. Personally, I’m going to forgive him, I would just like to not think of him bitterly, so that I don’t turn bitter myself. It might seem great to grow up privileged but look just how screwed up rich people are. They probably would be happier, if they had just enough, instead of way too much.”
“I’ll come, Laura, so they came in together? I’ll forgive him after he apologizes. I can’t believe that Faith accepted it. If some guy accused me of being an escort, I think I really would kill him.”
“Monique, he accused you of murder, that’s a lot more serious than being an escort.”
“I know Laura, but for some man to think that I would do that for money, that somehow seems worse to me. Like to my mind an assassin is worse than your run of the mill murderer, because they are doing it just for money. There is real intent there. Of course, I feel sorry for the women who are manipulated into it, or forced or forced by economic conditions. I wouldn’t want to be around so many men even if they didn’t expect more than a date. It’d be like speed dating in hell. Every ten minutes a new guy, you are supposed to try and impress.”
“Monique, you don’t have to come down, I can always tell him I couldn’t find you, it’s fine, really.”
“No, I’m not going to let you lie for me. Like you said, it’s better to let it go. So that’s what I want to do.”
So she stood up from her drawing table and we walked down the stairs together. Ben and Faith still stood by the register.
“Ms Miller, I’m very sorry for everything that I put you through. I was angry, insecure and worried that I would lose another job after being bested by a civilian. My actions were inexcusable.”
“It’s alright Detective Jones, I forgive you, thank you for apologizing.”
“It’s just Ben, Ms Miller. I’m no longer a detective, to be honest I don’t think that I ever was.”
“Thank you Ben.” Then Monique hurried back to the safety of her room. She never strayed from her room before she was arrested, now even more so. That is why I was so pleasantly surprised to see her participating in the workshop last weekend. I hope the SWAT raid to arrest the arms dealer hadn’t soured her on doing more workshops.
After Monique was gone. “For what it’s worth, I forgive you as well. Life is too short to hold grudges.” So I stuck out my hand to him. He seemed surprised but quickly grasped my hand firmly and shook.
“How’s your wife doing at Saranac PD, Ben?”
“She loves it, she was born to be a cop. She’s a lot happier, now that she is doing what she always wanted to do. She’s good at her job, too. Last week she set a record for arrests and traffic violations. She seems to be getting along well with her fellow officers and the chief seems to like her as well. We were both bitter being stuck in the wrong jobs. That’s not an excuse for my behavior, just we are both happier now that our workplace issues are behind us.”
“Well, that’s good to hear, tell her I said hello, and that we have an excellent mystery section here, if she wants to solve some crimes only on paper, only for fun.”
“Come on Ben, we have to measure the roof and then get to the store before they close. Laura, Ben gets a twenty percent discount on building supplies so this shouldn’t be too expensive.”
I handed her the bookstore credit card.
“Thank you both, it’s very kind of you.”
“It’s good for me Laura, I’ve never done this before so Ben is going to teach me. That’s the thing about being a firewoman, with all that time off you really need a flexible second job. Handy man, construction work, anything that you can set your own hours and days to work. So I’m trying to learn as many construction skills as possible before I get hired by a fire department. With any luck I could get on a construction crew with other fire fighters.”
They went out and I wondered how they were going to measure the roof, they couldn’t have a ladder in the sports car. But I watched as Ben boosted Faith up to the roof and Faith just grabbed onto the roof and pulled herself up the rest of the way. It was pretty far away, but I saw something small in Faith’s hands, a tape measure I assume. Next thing I know she hops off the roof and lands on the lawn with bent knees. They walked to their car, Faith waved goodbye and they roared away.
“Lucy, it’s almost closing time, why don’t you go out and get Zoe and Lis and carry in all the cookbooks that they have found so far.”
So the three of them carried in about forty cook books, from appetizers to deserts and everything in between.
“Zoe, I didn’t forget your eleven hundred dollars, after Lucy teaches you how to make sales with our register and through the video link to the Rabbit Hole, Lucy and I will go to the bank and I’ll have her write your check as soon as we get back.”
“Thanks, Laura, I need your keys, here are the keys to the van. It's all locked up.”
***
That night after we’d all eaten our dinner but before we had dessert, I stood up and made an announcement.
“I signed a contract today that affects all of us so I just want you all to know what is going on. It might be a little loud around here for about ten days starting on Friday.”
General groans from the writers, nothing more distracting to writers than noise.
“What’s going to be causing the noise?” asked Magedalena Lee, our resident self improvement author.
A TV show is going to be taping here on the grounds.
“What kind of show, like an outdoor show, like hunting or fishing?” wondered Ezra.
“No, a cooking show, more specifically a baking show. They are calling it The Superb Lake Placid Bake Off.”
“That’s trademark infringement,” said Bianca.
“That’s what I said to the mayor, but it doesn’t matter, it's none of our business. But it might be interesting seeing how these things run. It’d make a good setting for a romance or maybe a cozy mystery. So if the noise is disturbing any of you, you might go out and take some notes, maybe it’ll find its way into a novel, for you fiction writers. Or there will be a cast of characters, they always go for a wide range of personalities in these reality shows. Maybe you could find your next main character or antagonist. Ezra, maybe they’ll have some interesting tech to write about.”
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“That’s true, Laura, I’m sure I could get either a good magazine article or at the very least a click bait blog post,” Ezra enthused.
Anna said, “I always wanted to set a killer loose in some kind of televised contest, I was going to use a beauty contest. But a bunch of cut throat cooks would be more believable.”
“You’re right Laura, a baking show would be the perfect setting for a cozy mystery. I wasn’t really thinking of doing a cozy next but it might be fun. Plus with all the notes I could generate from watching behind the scenes, the novel would probably write itself. Don’t worry Anna, I won’t step on your toes. After you decide what kind of murder spree your killer is going on. I’ll set mine on a totally different path. What about you Eve, can you do something with this setting for a legal thriller?” Clara inquired.
“Sure how about the Paul Hollywood character isn’t a master baker, instead he is a Supreme Court judge, who’s been accused of improper conduct, like Clarence Thomas accepting gifts. Now trying to make himself more relatable he agrees to doing the TV show. An assassation attempt at the first blind bake, peanut flour mixed in the bake, leads the police right to a former assassin turned baker once the bake is tested. But the assassin was framed by baker number two as revenge because the assassin had killed his father for money, over some gambling debts.”
“Nice Eve, I like that a crime is embedded inside another crime. What about you Em, two rival bakers meet and compete but because they just can't take their hands off of each other. The evil producer says that one of them has to go. But each of them leave, to save the other. It’s only on the train platform that they realize what the other person has sacrificed for them. Cut to two years later as they open their very own bakery together. Her bakes are a little bit spicy and his are very sweet. It’s a spicy, yet sweet Victoria sponge of a plot.”
Em laughed, “Alright Laura, way to soften the blow of all the noise telling us something great to write about, but what about poor Amelie, as a fantasy writer this isn’t going to benefit her at all.”
“No, Em you didn’t let me finish, I have a story for Amelie. The knights had just finished another banquet at the round table when Merlin appeared. He whispers in Arthur's ear. The king stands up, the knights give him their full if somewhat drunken attention. The king declares a quest, each knight will ride at dawn, each in a different direction. The object of each knight's quest is the same, an alchemist. This alchemist must be returned to Camalot, once here Merlin will devise a test, much like the sword in the stone was for kings, but this test will be to find the best alchemist. For I and Guinevere have been married seven years yet I have no son. The best alchemist in the land will change that and a Pendragon will rule Britain forevermore.”
Amelie laughed and said, “I’ll be the first fantasy author to include IVF treatments in a medieval fantasy world. You’ll make me famous, Laura, or maybe just infamous.”
“I think it’s better than the original, sending them out for some chalice. Arthur was a king before there were Christians in Britain, and Merlin is clearly a druid. There’s no priests or bishops, yet when it comes to the quest, they send them out for a christian cup. Well it ruined the whole story for me. And wouldn’t it be cool if the Pendragons still ruled, at least if they were as cool as their ancestor Arthur, that is.”
“What about me Laura?”
“Easy Monique, you are running a cooking contest in Victorian London, with a twist. Random people are pulled in off the street. If they know anything about cooking or baking they are given a shilling and sent on their way. Once you have twelve people you tell them about the contest, the prize is one hundred pounds enough to live well for a year. Then you introduce each of the beginner bakers to the ghost of a master baker in the past. Shenanigans ensues.”
“What am I supposed to do, Laura?”
“Bianca, it depends, if any of the contestants are twenty four or younger they may be incarnations of Julia Child, so you have that to look out for. You could also teach the contestants meditation techniques and if one of your students wins write an article about the power of the mind. But you have the most important job of all really, you are the person in charge of figuring the rent, well I’m sorry but the mayor was here about the property tax.”
Everyone groaned again.
“And what did the mayor say about the property tax, Laura?”
“He said that he would give us a twenty five percent discount this year if we hosted the contest. I made him sign a contract that we get a twenty five percent discount whether the show actually gets made or not. So I’m sorry, I guess you’ll have to figure the monthly costs again."
“That’s alright Laura, I love doing math when it saves us money, I’ll let everyone know tomorrow morning how much your monthly cost will be going down for a year. Don’t forget though, next year it will go back to the old rate, or a little more with inflation.”
“One last thing, I just want you all to know that I went into business with Willow, we are now going to be running a mobile used bookstore. Except starting Friday, it will be parked in the driveway. A couple of yippies will be running the store while it’s here. We are trying to load it up with every cookbook that we have. But since the store is only half mine, you only get a fifty percent discount. But they are used books so cheap to start with plus fifty percent off makes cheap even cheaper. Last but certainly not least, our very own baker extraordinaire is going to be a judge for the baking contest.”
Then Amy brought out a very good cake that she had baked in celebration of a baking show coming to town. I know it was very good not just because it tasted delicious, but because after I had finished my slice, I thought another little slice would be fine. But the cake was nothing but crumbs. That’s the downside of living in a collective, while you can live like a king for very little money, the really great food, eat fast if you want seconds. We always have way more food than we can eat, but Amy’s baked goods never become leftovers. Which of course makes Amy very happy.
We all bused our dishes, it was Em’s turn to wash them. So Amy and I gave her a hand and a forty five minute job was done in fifteen. Then Amy wanted to play Ticket to Ride, so we went back into the dining room and played for hours. Amy is great at any kind of game and Ticket to Ride was no exception. I thanked her for not mocking me as I was heading back to my room.
***
BANG, BANG, BANG. Who the hell is making so much racket? It’s only, I squinted to see the alarm clock, a little after eight in the morning. I looked out my bedroom window, but all I could see was a calm Mirror lake, reflecting a cloudless light blue sky. I also caught a chill and quickly put on a light robe. It was the middle of July and twenty years ago, I never would have felt that chill. But it seems that the older that I get, the more susceptible to the cold I become.
But the window showed me no sign of who woke me up. So I went to the kitchen for a much needed cup of tea, and to ask Amy, who I needed to murder for waking me up so rudely. Was this one of the neighbors for payback over the FBI swat raid over the weekend. We were the ones aiding the authorities, not the ones being raided. Even if that is what it looked like from the outside. Maybe I should demand a plaque from the FBI touting that our assistance had made capture of a dangerous arms dealer possible. I mean why not, Trump has put his name, plaque, statue on everything from sea to shining sea. Why shouldn’t I get a plaque as well. Word in the paper is that he wants to get his ugly face minted onto a new dollar coin. Talk about an unusual way to devalue the dollar, hey. Maybe he thinks it’s a genius move on his part, forcing all us liberals away from using cash and instead pushing us into crypto. But I’ll just use my credit card as always.
Which reminds me that I have to change credit cards. I had an Amazon Visa card, I got it because back when it first came in the naughts, I thought Amazon was a decent company and I bought a lot from them, so the cash back on stuff purchased from them was worth it. This was before Jeff Bezos showed his true colors. The saying is power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. But you can easily substitute money for power and it’s equally valid. You could also say that maybe money is just a form of power.
Now the question becomes, just how much money does it take to turn a fairly nice person into a fascist moneygrubbing capitalist. A billionaire who buys a newspaper then tears it apart to appease a power hungry president wanna be dictator. Well we can’t ask the Institute for Science to look into it, because the president doesn’t believe in science, so he gutted their budget. He doesn’t need science, he has faith to guide him. So since I can’t use science to figure out the answer to that question, I’ll have to guesstimate a solution.
My hypothesis is that it doesn’t take a whole lot of money, my reasoning is a person becomes a fascist moneygrubbing capitalist to protect their money. Once you have a certain amount of money that you aren’t using on a regular basis. That becomes money that you need to protect now you are at the danger point, it could go either way still. If you decide that money MUST grow then maybe that is what… BANG, BANG.
I hurried to the kitchen.
“Amy, who is making all that racket?”
“It’s your construction crew, Laura, they arrived at seven and started tearing off the old roof, just a little while ago they started installing the new one, I do believe. I’m fixing them a tray, with coffee, tea and muffins. Go get dressed and help me carry it out to them.”
So I trotted back to my room and got into some clothes, Amy and I each carried a tray. There were seven men and Faith along with Jones up on the roof. I was carrying a huge tray filled with breakfast foods and drinks. Amy hurried in front of me with a portable table. Which she had opened by the time I arrived with the tray.
Faith must have seen us coming because she jumped down from the roof onto the soft grass. Watching her do that made my knees ache, just from the weight of it.
“Hi Laura, here’s your credit card back. We should be done with the roof in five minutes or so. The roof was very solid, it only needed new boards in a few areas, probably those where it had leaked the worst and for the longest time. Don’t worry about that mess, Laura,” she pointed to the old roof that now lay all over the lawn. “I’ll take it all to the landfill, you won’t even know it was there.”
“Faith, I’ll go get my checkbook, how much do I owe you all, can I just pay you and you can pay the rest of your crew?”
“They’re not my crew Laura, and none of us are taking your money. They are my fellow firemen and when they heard what you had done for me and how I was trying to pay you back just a little, they all volunteered to help. If I had any money I would have bought the roofing material myself, but you know my financial situation.”
“That’s why you should take some money, Faith.”
“Laura, you saved my dream, if you hadn't stepped in to help I would have had a public defender who would have recommended that I take the plea deal and then my dream would have died that day in the courtroom. But thanks to you, I’m getting closer and closer to that dream everyday.”
Then the other firemen were jumping off the roof. I swear my knees felt every thud I heard. Then instead of coming over for coffee and breakfast they all started to gather the old roofing material littering the lawn, carrying it over to the parking lot and depositing it in Faith’s old red pickup truck bed.
Then they came back and made fast work of Amy’s breakfast treats and coffee. I thanked each of them and told them all to come in for free books. Before they each hopped into a different car and drove off.
“Ms Eriksson, I’m really sorry for my behavior in the past and I just want you to know if you need anything done around here, I’ll be happy to do it at cost, no job too big or too small.”
“Thank you Ben, and I really think it’s time you should start calling me Laura, all my friends do.”
Then Faith and Ben jumped into Faith’s truck and off they drove. Amy and I collected the dirty dishes and piled it all back onto the tray. She carried the tray this time while I grabbed the portable table.
“I feel terrible, Amy, the only reason I called Faith about the roof is because I thought one of the firefighters might be in construction or roofing. I wouldn’t have called if I had known that they were going to do it for free.”
“Laura, it was awfully nice of them to do it, but you heard them all thanking you for what you did for Faith. Would you take any money for defending her?”
“No, absolutely not.”
“Right, well they are the same. But you can still reward them if you want. Just make a donation to the volunteer fire department in their names.”
“The problem is I don’t know their names, except for Faith and Jones.”
“Well it’s a good thing you have a retired dispatcher living here then, I’ll make you a list of everyone that was here.”
“Yes, it’s a very good thing that you are living here, very good indeed.
