The Missing Tower
I was shocked, agog, and really not happy. On the one hand, at least no one was lying to me. I really didn’t like it when I thought that Frida had been lying. I didn’t care about Collins lying. I didn’t want to sleep with him, wouldn’t for all the tea in china, and I loved tea, particularly jasmine tea, such a great calming effect. Focus Jaq, I haven’t done my mindfulness meditation today and the ADHD is kicking in hard. Is that why I’ve been so focused on Frida? No, it was the breasts, definitely the breasts.
Right, Right, on the other hand I was suddenly seeing things that aren’t there. I am going crazy, seeing things that aren’t there. Wonderful now I’m a hyper crazy person who can’t focus on being crazy. Maybe, definitely, I ought to meditate. The best place to meditate in Tregaron is the center of the hedge maze in the garden.
When I was a kid, my therapist had taught me to meditate to control my ADHD to some extent, because he didn’t believe in medicating children. The first thing he taught me was to approach meditation in a focused formal way. The easiest way to do that if you live in a sprawling stone mansion with a hedge maze in the garden is to use the maze to focus your attention then you might attain some small degree of mindfulness when you actually get to the meditating itself.
I headed back inside, walked down the long central corridor and out the back door into the gardens. I followed the central garden path that led to the hedge maze. The maze never changed, but each pathway looked exactly the same so if you lost focus of where you were it was easy to get lost and unlike birdseye mazes you weren’t likely to easily reorient oneself. Then you had to use a maze solving method to find your way and that was really inefficient.
It had been many years since I walked this maze so after a strong start and my thoughts pinballing to bouncing breasts, I became lost. My mental map of the maze was scrambled, so I switched to the wasteful turn right method. I’d waste time but eventually I’d reach the center of the maze. Finally I did and there I found a naked Asian woman with long and shiny black hair, her thin frame and smallish breasts were much more like mine than Frida's. She was sitting in the lotus posture meditating. When did Tregaron turn into a nudist colony?
She opened her eyes, gave a quick eck sound then jumped up, turned her back to me and put on a gorgeous silk robe with a beautiful Bengal tiger in a forest on the back.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know that anyone used the maze.”
“It’s my fault, Jaq, I presume. I knew you were coming to the house I should have kept my clothes on. I’m actually glad to see a fellow maze aficionado. It’s the perfect way to center yourself before meditation. I’m Aya Asada, it’s nice to meet you Jaq.”
“It’s nice to meet you Asada-san.”
“No Jaq you must call me Aya.”
“Are you an artist, Aya?”
“No, I'm more of a Religious Advisor or guru, although I hate that term. It’s so overused. Don’t worry I never proselytize nor do I accept gifts of any kind for my advice which only covers spiritual matters. I don’t run seances nor have contact with the dead. I do sketch, but I use it for introspection not for public consumption. I’ve not seen a second tower but I’ve heard you have. Heard through gossip not wu wu religious rituals. I’ve also heard that you’re an agnostic, again through gossip, you’ll get no sermons from me I promise.”
I laughed. “Actually I’m halfway between atheist and agnostic, I think when we die, we die. But of course I can’t prove that, nor can anyone from the opposite side prove that we don’t. I have a vast amount of issues with the old testament and the human implementation of the new testament. I also promise no sermons from me.”
She laughed, stuck out her hand and said. “Let’s shake on it. No sermons.”
I shook her hand. “I’ll come back later, I’m sorry I interrupted you.”
“No Jaq, I was done for the day, from now on we could even meditate together, I promise to keep my clothes on. If you’ve never meditated in the nude, try it someplace you feel safe. I find it even more freeing, of course your mileage may vary. Meditation is such a deeply personal experience with a wide range of results. Anyways after promising no sermons, I’m already dispensing meditation advice. Pay no attention to me. Namaste.”
With that she was gone, heading confidently back out into the maze. I settled myself down to begin and on a whim, I whipped off the crop top. I wasn’t ready for totally nude, let’s see if just being topless, changed the meditation experience for me. It didn’t but at the end of the session, I was a little more focused.
Now I could make a rough todo list, what I need to do to help find granddad.
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Go to the top of the tower and survey the grounds
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Complete inventory of his office
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Check if he used a computer, web history, emails, chats
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Cell phone
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Attic to basement search of Tregaron
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Search of the grounds
I’d add items as I thought of them. Just having a todo list grounds me. First up climb to the top of the tower, before that even, check with Collins and see if a pair of binoculars or spyglass is available. Collins thinks granddad had a pair of binoculars, they might be somewhere in his rooms.
So I head for his rooms just a quick look for anything that might help the physical search in any way. I tried his bedroom and closet first, finding nothing useful. Then moved onto the study. There I located an old spyglass, which I grabbed and headed for the tower.
Up the worn stone steps. How many footsteps did it actually take to show wear on a stone. Focus. I continued the climb until I reached the ladder up to the roof. Once there I went to the north most crenellation and began a survey of the land north of the mansion.
I’m not sure exactly what I expected to see. Certainly not granddad, waving up at me from a field. I guess I was just looking for anything that looked new or odd, comparing it to my recollection. Granddad would have made a game of this when I was a kid. We’d be pirates up the crows nest looking for our next victim. He’d make a game or an adventure out of anything, he was nothing like his wife.
I worked my way clockwise around the tower, aside from beautiful views of the countryside. I found nothing, which was a good thing. About the only thing I could find up here would have been signs of his death. The only reason I did this first was because it wouldn’t take long so it was an efficient use of my time. Quick survey complete, now it was time to return to his study and see what could be found.
Down the ladder and the further four stories to the ground floor hallway went much quicker than the ascent. Then to the grand staircase to the second floor containing granddad’s study. I put the spyglass back on the bookcase I’d retrieved it from. I don’t see a computer or laptop anywhere, so I’ll start with what’s on top of the desk.
The reason I start with the top is because my desktop has only pending, or current paperwork that needs my attention. I’m hoping that Granddad uses a similar system. He does have three massive oak file cabinets all locked. Maybe the keys are in the desk, of course if that is the case he might just as well have left them open.
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You might wonder why I’m not more worried about my grandfather. Well growing up in this house, it’s happened many times before. I thought he was a spy and he very well may be. But if he was / is, he’d be stupid to leave evidence of it in his own study.
I just want to find something that shows he went somewhere. I don’t really care why he went, or why he kept it a secret. I just want him to be safe. Even though he was often gone for weeks, sometimes months at a time. Granddad was the only reason I ever felt at home here.
The desk was loaded with paperwork, none of it in piles so that was my first step, make piles, then carry it to the table and sort by first by subject then by date. He usually let us know when he was leaving, even if it was just a few hours before his departure. If something urgent came in it was likely the last thing he’d open. So I was looking for something dated mid to late March.
I didn’t find any smoking gun paperwork after sorting through months and months of paperwork. The most interesting thing I found were some sketches of the tower, but things, like windows and doorways looked reversed from where they actually were. Almost like he drew them looking through a mirror, and why sketch? He has a cell phone, so why sketch? I thought of a critical question I should have asked Aya? Hopefully I'll see her at dinner.
Speaking of dinner, what exactly was I going to wear? We always dress up for dinner here at Tregaron. I could always eat in the kitchen with the staff, but I’d like to meet the rest of the guests and get a sense of when they arrived. I’ll just go see what I can rustle up in my room and have a quick bath, before dinner. After dinner I can come back to this paperwork. It’s not going anywhere.
When I got back to my room, there was a little black dress, lying on my unmade bed. I hope we get power back soon, it’d be nice to be able to wear underwear again. The dress was a little tight in certain spots but as long as I didn’t over eat I’d be comfortable enough. I was quick enough in the bath that I had time to shave my legs. I could wear muddy cowboy boots or wet sneakers or just go barefoot so that’s what I opted for.
Power was still out and my room was pretty dark when I left. I’d need some candles especially if I planned to look at any more of that paperwork tonight. I was seated between Maz and Aya. Aya was dressed tastefully in a kimono, Maz took dress up to a whole new level. The little Indian man was dressed in a buckskin suit, with a native american feathered headdress.
Granny was keeping me far from Frida who was seated on her right. While I would have enjoyed sitting close to Frida, that was much too close to granny for my comfort. I’d thank her for the dress later. I sat down between Aya and Maz.
“Hi, Aya, I tried going halfway, topless but it didn’t really enhance my experience. I will try it again but I’m not as brave as you are. THe whole time I was meditating I’d have to keep opening my eyes to make sure no one was standing there watching me meditate.”
“I understand, it can seem a little weird at first and to be fair I started doing it in my room, not the center of a maze. But today was the first time I saw anyone even in the maze, when I met you there. If you just want to try half at a time, try the bottom half, with your butt planted on the ground, nothing between you and the planet. Jaq.”
“I’ll try. I wanted to ask you who you are the spiritual advisor to? Or is that bad manners to ask, or confidential?”
“Definately not confidential, the Colonel.”
“Wow, that’s incredible, I thought grandad was closer to an atheist than I was.”
“Well he’s getting older and the older we get the more critical the answer becomes.”
“Aya, You don’t mean that he was afraid of dying do you?”
“Not afraid, Jaq, just more curious I think. Something strange happened to him, on one of his trips I think, he never trusted me enough to give me the details. But when he came to London to find me, he was almost desperate that I come. After I did my due diligence on to make sure he wasn’t some nutter who wanted to lure me to the remote Welsh countryside to murder me I readily agreed to come. I’ve treated the whole experience as a meditation retreat. It’s been lovely too except for his disappearance. But even that, I just have an intuition that he is alright and somewhere close by but for some reason can’t contact us or return yet. Naturally that’s just based on a feeling, so it can’t be depended on as a fact.”
“He came to London, just to ask you here?”
“Yes, he said that a friend had sent some youtube videos of interviews I’d given to him.”
“I looked in his study, and no computer so if he has one it’s probably a laptop. Or maybe he just used a smart phone. So you are internet famous.”
“I wouldn’t say that I’m famous, I’d say that for a certain circle of people my name is pretty well known. But the internet in general couldn’t care less about me. What I’m known for is a theory I stated twenty years ago that I believe that there are other worlds or dimensions that can be reached by various means. I participated in a scientific study at a zen monastery in the swiss alps. The abbott was a German man who’d taken LSD in his youth, where he had a profound religious experience. I forget exactly what path of university he was on engineering I think, one of the sciences for sure. After this experience, he withdrew from the university and moved to Japan for formal training in Zen after years of training he moved back to Switzerland and founded a Zen monastery. There are around fifteen or twenty monks and nuns that live there, up a mountain. They keep goats to meet expenses. Some Swiss scientists were working on experiments with LSD, and asked the abbott if they would be interested in participating in the study. Long story short, I was part of the documentary crew, I wasn’t religious at all. But I talked to Abbott not a wu wu religious guy at all, just a man who’s had a few experiences, one on LSD a few more are some intense meditation sessions.”
“Did he have one while you were filming?”
“No, but one of the monks had a very profound experience and one of the nuns said she stood on our side of a gate without doors and she tried but just couldn’t pass through. She could see the other side and called it paradise. These were practical farmers who don’t necessarily believe in life after death, at least as we in the west present it, heaven, hell.”
“So that’s how you became internet famous?”
“Yeah, after that documentary got out, people had questions about it. Hell, I had questions about it. I wasn’t ready to chuck it all and head to Japan, I also wasn’t interested in a fast fix through LSD. But I did start meditating a lot more, and I had some wonderful experiences, a couple were very close to what the nun had described, a door or gate or a portal, I just knew it was something that I could move through, except just like the nun I couldn’t actually move through the opening.”
“Didn’t you find that frustrating?”
“No, I don’t think so, I think that I’m not yet ready to go through the gate, I just need to keep doing the work, sitting on the mat, not craving the next step because if you do that, it’s like the reverse happens. The more you crave for it the farther you are from actually getting there. Now, I’ve made a liar of myself, just a few hours ago I promised no sermons.”
“That wasn’t like any sermon I ever heard, there wasn’t a single ‘thou shalt not’ without at least one of those it can’t possibly be a sermon.”
“Thank you Jaq, that’s very kind of you to say. Maz, I’m pretty sure that the way you are dressed isn’t politically correct.”
“I’m an Indian, dressed as an Indian trying to get the jump on any cowboys who show up. Jaq if the power returns tomorrow, don’t forget your tour of my lab.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it Maz, care to share what you are working on?”
“Sorry Jaq, it must be seen to be believed. I’ll give you one hint however. It’s something that I could only possibly work on here in the Welsh countryside or possibly the Tibetan foothills.”
“Sounds intriguing Maz.”
Then the party started to break up. I grabbed a lit candle from the table and started for the tower, with a slight detour to thank Frida for the loan of the dress.
“Frida, thanks for letting me borrow a dress, I appreciate it.”
“It wasn’t from me Jaq, to be honest I forgot that you still don’t have any clothes.”
“If you don’t mind I’ll keep the crop top and shorts for tomorrow.”
“Of course, I’ll bring some clean ones tomorrow morning.”
“Thanks.”