[Destroy, Military]

  The Duke’s Daughter

  It was too late to catch the Pinewatch coach, so we bought tickets for the coach the following day. Then we went to the park in the town square, where I practiced the Smoke and Spear spell. We had an audience almost immediately, while I tried not letting it distract, they did, they really did. Ronan said that was a good thing, anytime I’m likely to need to use the spell, something frightening must be going on, else why should I need a spear.

  The crowd kept growing, the watch came by to see what was happening. We explained that Ronan was teaching me basic defensive skills.

  “You are the Slutty Princess, who’s going to overthrow the king right?”

  “Yep, that's me.”

  “Not that we are going to do anything about it, but arrest warrants were issued for you, and an unnamed knight. They just came to city hall today by post. The Watch Commander mentioned it and that a reward for your arrest was soon to follow. Just wanted you to know about it. We’re big fans, my girlfriend loves pinching your butt. She says you have the best advice for women and that stroke option has really spiced up our romantic time together, it’s made us a lot closer. We love that new content is magically sent everyday, it keeps us on our toes, or maybe off our toes and under the sheets. Stay safe, we won’t interrupt you any further, good luck with the revolution.”

  “Thanks that’s very kind of you, I’m really glad that it’s helped you. Just hearing that makes me feel much better about it.”

  “You are going to make such a great Queen.”

  We ran a few more drills and I decided I wanted one of those dolls for myself.

  “Ronan, where can I get one of those dolls?”

  “I saw them in a store window when we walked to your brothers, do you want one?”

  “Sure, we can share it, I’ll handle two of the buttons, you can handle the embarrassing one.”

  “It’ll be my pleasure, Slutty Princess.”

  That night while we were on our ‘date’ Ronan fiddled with the doll, and it gave me some very interesting ideas. The next morning I felt very fulfilled, with an entirely different perspective on the doll.

  Breakfast in the common room was just a glimmer of what was to come. Soon after we sat down and waited for the tea to steep, a young woman a few years older than me came over to the table.

  “Slutty Princess, could you please sign your portrait, it’d mean the world to us. My husband and I, I mean. We’d planned on getting it framed, it’d be great to have you on our wall and if you signed it. It’d be even better, like you did it personally for us.”

  “Sure, do you have a pencil or a pen and what’s your name?”

  “Darla, ma’am, here’s a pencil. Thank you so much for doing this, I can’t wait until you’re the queen.”

  I wrote ‘To Darla from your friend The Slutty Princess.’

  She squealed with delight, soon I had a line of women and men, pictures in hand asking for me to sign, I was only halfway through the line, hadn’t had a sip of tea, or a bite of my breakfast. Ronan tapped my arm and said if we want to make the coach we had to leave now. I apologized and we made our way to the livery with a line of ‘fans’ following us.

  We made it to the coach in time and while it was loaded with luggage and mail, I signed a few more autographs for the most persistent fans who’d followed us from the inn. A few more fellow travelers arrived and made their way through my fans and into the coach. Finally the driver sharply ordered the crowd back from the coach or be run over.

  Once we were under way, Ronan pulled out a napkin which wrapped a variety of pastries. For a True Neutral paladin, he certainly had my best interests at heart. The trip was uneventful and we were soon in Pinewatch.

  ***

  We found a nice looking inn, obtained a room and ordered tea and sandwiches to be sent to the room. We weren’t going to take a chance of another group of ‘fans’ hijacking our meal.

  “So princess, how do we approach this Mountbatten, if we have warrants out on our heads? Won’t he be obligated to arrest us on sight?”

  “Yes, I think if we publicly presented ourselves to him. He’d have no choice but to arrest us. How good are you at breaking and entering?”

  “While I’ve never pursued thievery as a profession, I have a very solid grasp on stealth, and lock picking. If we wait until dark we can use our Smoke spell to cover ourselves in darkness.”

  “Perfect, I was at their house once, I went to school with his daughter. Once we were friends, then we were not. The duke's mansion is quite large. If we break in, I know where her room is. We go there, wake her, have her get her father. Then I lay out my plans to him. If we get him on side, we’ll have fathers two best allies and a dwarven army on our side, father will have the royal guard and my baby sister as a hostage.”

  If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

  “Surely he wouldn’t hold his own daughter hostage, would he?”

  “I believe that father would do anything to stay in power. He’s ruthless.”

  With our plans made warrants on our heads and fans seemingly everywhere I concluded that we should conduct more research into the myriad functions and options that the doll provided. I still made Ronan operate the embarrassing spot.

  After an afternoon of ‘research’ Ronan went down to the innkeeper and ordered us supper for our room. Then as soon as darkness was starting to fall we left for the dukes home. We had a three mile walk but it’d be much quieter than approaching on horseback. The Duke’s property was surrounded by a five foot tall brick wall, with guarded gates.

  We stayed well away from the gates, Ronan boosted me up high enough for me to climb the rest of the way to the top of the wall. Then he effortlessly scaled the wall to be sitting beside me as we surveyed the yard ahead of us. He was certainly agile, though I knew that from previous ‘research’.

  We didn’t know if the duke deployed dogs at night in defense of his home. But Ronan has had previous experience using the smoke illusion, the horrible smell confused dogs. So before dropping to the ground from the top of the wall we both wreathed ourselves in the smoke.

  Then walked swiftly across the yard into the deeper shadows of the house. Now it was up to Ronan to get us in. We didn’t go to the front door, reasoning that the massive door would likely have the best locks in the house. We also avoided the back kitchen door, as we had no idea about the servants or their habits. So our choice was limited to one of three sets of french doors on this side of the mansion.

  Ronan took out his lock picks and after a few unsuccessful attempts, I heard a satisfying click. The door swung open, we moved inside and dismissed the smoke spell. We both felt that the smell was more likely to give us away in the darkened house, than the sight of us. I looked around the room trying to orient myself.

  I’d only been in the house once before, years ago. I remember I’d been in three rooms downstairs. The dining room, the library and the music room. I don’t know what the room we stood in was used for but it wasn’t one of the three. We carefully moved through the dark room to one of the doors on the wall opposite to the french doors.

  Ronan made one of the hand signs he'd taught me during ‘research’ this afternoon. He wanted to know which way, after we opened the door. But I wouldn’t know until he actually opened the door. Which I clumsily signed back to him. The door squeaked a little as he opened it but we froze and heard nothing. No shouts of intruders nor footsteps approaching.

  Once we were in the hallway, I knew exactly which way we needed to go and signaled Ronan, we needed to head to the front of the house and the large staircase that led to the upper floors. Elisa, Mountbatten's daughter’s room was on the second floor towards the back of the house on the left.

  Mountbatten’s was well maintained, we crept up the stairs, not a single step let out a creak. We were in the second floor hallway and I signed to Ronan to go to the back of the house. Then we switched and I took the lead, still walking as softly as possible on the plush carpet.

  We made it to the room Elisa had formerly occupied, opened the door and went in. Someone slept in the bed. I could only hope that Elisa hadn’t switched rooms with anyone else after my last visit. As planned Ronan waited by the partially opened door, as the lookout and to avoid Elisa screaming that there was a strange man in her room.

  I approached the bed, the floor squeaked, I froze, Elisa moved a little but remained asleep on her back. I put my hand over her mouth, and whispered into her ear.

  “Elisa it’s Maria, wake up and don’t scream. It’s Maria from school.”

  She woke up at first terrified to be awakened the way she had. But she didn’t struggle as I kept my hand over her mouth.

  “Just talk quietly, I’m going to take my hand off of your mouth alright.”

  She nodded in the affirmative.

  Quietly she said.”I can’t believe that the Slutty Princess is in my room.”

  I turned beet red, and felt all flush.I couldn’t help it, I was used to getting these types of reactions from strangers. But this girl used to be a friend or at least as close to friends as royals can ever be or have. She was also one of the mean girls that Em had used on me that day in the bathroom years ago. The day our friendship ended.

  “Elisa, I’m here to talk to your father, I didn’t want to approach him in public, that’s why we broke in. I’m not here to hurt him or you. We just need to talk. Can you point out his bedroom?”

  “You can’t.”

  “Elisa, really I’m not going to hurt him.”

  “No, that’s not what I meant. He’s not here. He’s out scouring the countryside for you, he’s meant to arrest you. I tried to talk him out of it but he’s afraid of your father.”

  “Alright, sorry we woke you, you won’t alert anyone that we are here, right, we were friends once.”

  “No we are friends, you're incredible, the Slutty Princess. I’m not letting you walk out of here. I listened as my father and his captains made plans to catch you. They’ve heard you’ve been using the coaches so they have a squad of men covering the liveries.”

  “That’s not good, I guess we’ll have to walk across fields and take game trails to the next town.”

  “Or you could kidnap me, leave a message for my father in his study. Take our carriage and horses and driver and go wherever you planned on going in the first place. But no matter what, you are not leaving without me.”

  “But I thought you hated me.”

  “You were a little brat, I was a little brat. Now you’re the astonishing Slutty Princess. My father has bargained me off to a fifty year old baron, I’m to be his third wife. The first two died in childbirth. I don’t want to marry a balding man thirty two years my senior, I want a hunk like your knight. I want you to save me and teach me some of those tricks you get when you stroke..”

  “Okay, okay. Ronan meet Elisa, we’re kidnapping her. I have a plan.”