[Arrive, Object]

  [Trust, Negotiate]

  The Dragon Again

  The next morning in Redhollow Vale. The inn common room, just a few people scattered at tables eating their breakfasts. I dreaded this conversation. I thought after I tell Ronan where I’m headed, he’ll part company with me for sure and I don’t want to part company with him, it’s not just the ‘dates’ I’ll miss his companionship, the way he teases me, his honesty with me. He was honest from the start where his loyalty lies. As a true neutral, he’s bound to follow his self interest and his self interest doesn’t lie anywhere near that dragon’s mountain.

  “So Maria, I thought I’d get you to tell me where we’re headed today when I did that thing you like with the feather last night. But you are becoming unexpectedly immune to my torture techniques. But if you want me to buy us tickets this morning you’re really going to have to tell me where it is that we are headed.”

  I sipped my tea, I can’t answer if my mouth is full of liquid. Damn why did I become so dependent on him so quickly. It’s almost like I was in love with him. Damn, this is going to break my heart.

  “We’re going to Pintyde, Ronan. Do you need money, I still have some left.”

  “Why are we going to Pintyde, you got your revenge, I thought you were focused on the coup. You can’t possibly want more revenge on the dragon, he paid you many times over to ruin his own eggs. It can’t be because of the epithet “Slutty Princess”, Em thinks that will win you the throne. So why could we possibly be going back there?”

  “I need to speak to the dragon, he’s my father’s ally and I want him to switch sides to me.”

  “Why would he do that when your father is the one who’s been supplying him with virgin princesses?”

  “Because I’m going to tell him the truth, my father knowingly had me chained on that plateau as the dragons sacrifice knowing full well that I wasn’t a virgin. If it wasn’t for the dragon's keen nose the king would have destroyed his brood. I’ll supply the dragon with barrels of virgin princess wee in return for switching and above that I’ll give him a seat on the council.”

  “Have you forgotten you already watered his eggs for him and you weren’t a virgin at the time thereby ruining his brood.”

  “But he doesn’t know that, if I take over the kingdom, I’ll give him a barrel of my little sister's wee, he can water his own eggs, save the brood and be a valuable ally in the future.”

  “Right, I’ll go get the tickets and find out what time the coach leaves.”

  “True. You are really coming with me. I’ve been really worried, I thought you’d dump me when you heard where I was headed.”

  “Why would I dump you? You have made excellent points for your return. I agree the dragon could be a valuable ally. I do have a suggestion to urge him to agree to transport you on his back to the town square on market day. That will show everyone in the kingdom the dragon now backs you.”

  “That’s a great idea Ronan, that’ll send a message to the military, the commoners and the nobility. You are brillant, I couldn’t do this without you.”

  “Get packed. I’ll be back soon. Pintyde is a small town, we might if we’re lucky have the coach to ourselves. We could possibly do a little ‘dating’ to pass the time.”

  “Oh so that’s why the sudden interest in Pintyde.”

  “It’s not the only reason.”

  ***

  We weren't lucky in fact we were very unlucky. One of the new One God priests had booked passage as well as us. Not only did we not get to have a ‘date’ we listened for hours about how we must accept the One God if we were to be saved. We politely told him we weren't interested, but people like him never allow a polite brush off. He kept going, I was ready to suggest to Ronan we have a ‘date’ in front of him in hopes that would shut him up. Instead I pulled out the old Epicurious quote "Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?" We rode the rest of the way in blessed silence.

  It was too late to trek up the mountain today so instead Ronan taught me his most powerful illusion spell. I repeated the words exactly as taught and soon the black smoke surrounded me, but now I could see unimpeded through the smoke. I knew the spear would be conjured but it startled me when I found my fingers wrapped around it.

  Once I had the spear in hand, Ronan, went through the simplest spear drills that he knew. I kept going over the drills, while Ronan made jokes about thrusting. The idea wasn’t to make me into some kind of warrior. It was to make me look just a tiny bit impressive, to anyone who wasn’t a warrior that knew these are the types of drills they teach the rookies on day one. But the fact that I was cloaked in a black smoke and had conjured the spear made even the rudimentary drills a little impressive.

  ***

  Early the next morning we started the hike up the mountain. I was nervous, he was a big dragon and I’d twisted his arm last time and gotten a magical ring and gold. Dragon’s love three things, gold, magic and their young. That’s it, everything else in the world is irrelevant to a dragon.

  This was my second hike on the mountain. Going up a mountain is much harder than going down. But the time I’d been going down, I was alone and attacked by wolves. So while the trip up a mountain may be physically harder, a walk in the sun with a man I was starting to adore, without wolves howling in the distance, was like a walk in the park. The only thing ruining the walk was knowing what waited for me at the destination.

  By late morning we reached the talus slope, the rock field just below the tunnel into the dragon's lair. Ronan was light and agile and had no problem helping me up the dangerous sliding rocks and into the tunnel. I kissed him goodbye just in case I didn’t see him again.

  “Don’t come in here after me, I’ll be fine. It’s a good offer and he didn’t eat me the last two times I was here so there’s no reason to think that he’ll start now.”

  “He only has to do the eating just one time. I'm sure he finds that quite effective. You’d be in more danger if I was with you, so I’ll wait right here. You can do this you Slutty Princess, I know you can.”

  I laughed and set off down the tunnel and soon entered the golden cavern. The dragon lay on his hoard and opened his eyes.

  “Well if it isn’t the Slutty Princess. Why’d you bother asking for your virginity back if you’d planned on giving it away again.”

  “I didn’t plan it, it just sort of happened along the way.”

  “Or maybe it proves what I knew all along you really are a slutty princess.”

  “That’s not fair and even if it were true, I’m having more fun and enjoying my life more being slutty than when I was chained to those posts as a sacrifice to you. And that leads me to why I’m here. I have it on very good authority from the girl who took said virginity in the first place, that my father, the king, knew I wasn’t a virgin when he had me chained to those posts. In the hopes that you’d not notice the deception and have me ruin your eggs or kill me or his desired outcome both. Well since I learned that I’ve decided that my father does not deserve to be king. I plan to overthrow him. I’d like to make a deal with you.”

  Bang, bang, bang. Loud noises echoed round the cavern. It was quite deafening. Then there was an explosion that shook the ground, nearly knocking me on to my ass. The dragon growled, those damn dwarves. He looked at me like it was my fault.

  “So what deal would you propose with someone as great as me, what do you offer I do not already possess?”

  “I’ll have delivered barrels of genuine princess virgin wee, produced by my sister. As soon as the barrel is filled it will be delivered. I offer you a seat on my Council where you’ll be one of my top advisors. In return you do not fight on the king's side and fly me into the town square on your back showing that you back my bid for the throne. I do not expect you to fight on my side, I do not expect there to be any fight at all. What say you?”

  Bang, clang, scrap, clang bang. Again the deafening noise, I was ready this time for the explosion but my ears were ringing from the sound. The dragon was getting more agitated.

  “I say that if you stop those dwarfs from mining this mountain, I’ll do as you ask. The dwarves are too deep into the mountain for my dragon's fire to reach them. But if you don’t get them to stop, I’ll fly to your fathers kingdom and burn it down instead, and turn your father’s castle into my new quiet lair. I swear on my eggs this is true. You have one week, starting right now. You better hurry.”

  ***

  Outside the tunnel Ronan paces back and forth. Until suddenly Maria appears

  “Gods, Maria, what was the dragon doing in there, throwing boulders at the walls?”

  Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

  “I may not have to worry about usurping my father, the dragon may burn the kingdom to the ground. He swore to do it on his eggs if I can’t get the dwarves mining this mountain to cease within one week, starting now.”

  “Why doesn’t the dragon just kill the dwarves if the mining is annoying him?”

  “He said they were too deep in the mountain. His dragon fire won’t reach them and they hardly ever leave the mine. I’m afraid it’s up to me. Do dwarves like anything more than mining?”

  “I hear they are quite fond of dwarven beer.”

  “Well I don’t know where I’m going to get any of that out here,” she yelled, “sorry Ronan, I know you’re just trying to help.”

  “It’s all right, it’s going to be alright. We’ll figure out a way to stop the dwarves with or without beer. We have a Slutty Princess, they’ll never know what hit them. For now let's hurry back to the inn, rent some horses, get detailed directions if possible and pick up supplies for a few nights in the woods.”

  “Alright, good plan, sorry I was panicking.”

  We made our way back down the mountain and did everything that Ronan was clear headed enough to think of. To be fair it wasn’t his sister that was under threat of incineration. If I truly wanted to usurp my father, I’d need to do what Ronan had done. Think what was needed and then think how to accomplish it and plan accordingly. Ruling 101, right, except princesses never need to learn ruling as the most use for a princess in my kingdom is arranged marriage or dragon sacrifice. So I’ll learn as I go.

  We were up by dawn and with all our gear packed the night before. We got fairly good directions from the general store owner. He claimed that he had dwarf miner customers. From what they’d said the mine is on the north face of the mountain near the base. That means we head in a left tangent to the path we used yesterday to visit the dragon.

  If the consequences of the trip weren’t so dire I’d have enjoyed the quiet ride with Ronan. As it was I just couldn’t wait to get to the mine. I knew little of dwarves, having seen but a few in my entire life. I kept turning over in my mind what I could possibly offer them or threaten them with to get them to cease mining this mountain.

  We stopped briefly for lunch, by a mountain fed stream, to rest the horses and for Ronan to teach me the last of his spells. After I said the spell I could hear up to 200 meters away. I could also concentrate on a specific area that is far away and hear a conversation without the background noise interfering. But I need to practice controlling my attention to a specific noise or conversation, the farther it is from me the harder it is to maintain that required concentration.

  Ronan says that the real power of the hearing spell is when it’s combined with the throwing voice spell. The throwing voice spell perfectly mimics the person you're listening to with the hearing spell.

  I spent the afternoon ride practicing both spells both singly and then as I got more comfortable with them I tried combining them. The first attempts were spectacularly bad. I had Ronan 30 meters ahead reciting a poem while I listened in using the hearing spell but when I tried to continue listening and throw my voice back to him, instead I shouted the poem in my horse's ear. Which startled the poor animal, who then almost unseated me.

  I kept repeating to myself that one day one of these spells may save my life but only if I was proficient at it. So I kept practicing. The trail we were following also started to rise gradually giving us hope that we were on the right track. Around dusk we decided to make camp. I wasn’t quite as useless as I used to be. I gathered the kindling, while Ronan prepared our meal. I even managed to get the fire started with Ronan’s flint and steel. A major accomplishment for a girl who was dragging wet trees in as fuel just a few short weeks ago.

  We bedded down, I was entwined in Ronan’s embrace and slept the night through. Ronan woke me at dawn and we started up the trail again. I had six days to work this out, now. I still didn’t have any ideas that the dwarves might go for.

  As my horse picked its way along the trail. I went back to practicing my spells and had my first practical use.

  “I can hear metal being hammered up ahead using the spell, so we must be within a few hundred meters of the mine, Ronan.”

  “Nice Maria, I should have been scouting ahead instead of daydreaming. But I didn’t think we were that close. Good work.”

  I kept listening as we approached, they had no idea we were coming so they must feel very safe in these woods if they haven’t even bothered to post scouts. Very soon we turned a sharp corner and we were in a large clearing in front of a tunnel presumably to their mine.

  At first our entrance seemed to cause a stir as every dwarf I observed reached to draw a weapon. But they all seemed to relax when they saw there were only the two of us. But then suddenly they started to get excited again, pointing at me. I swear one of them seemed to be jumping up and down with excitement.

  They seemed to ignore Ronan, and were entirely focused on me. Which was making me a little nervous and uncomfortable. The horses slowed to a stop and we dismounted and approached the largest group of the little men.

  The youngest looking on in the group stepped forward and excitedly said. “Slutty Princess, welcome to Ironheart Delve. We are honored by your visit. Did you bring more of the statuettes?”

  I was dumb founded, Ronan was roaring with laughter. Did he sneak ahead and set this up to embarrass me? I don’t see how that could be possible, he’s an illusionist. I guess it’s possible I was following an illusion all afternoon. I didn’t have any idea what to say to this friendly young dwarf so I finally said.

  “Thank you very much for your kind welcome, would it be possible for me to speak to your leader?”

  “Aye, it would be the Thane would tan our hides if he didn’t get to meet the famous slutty princess when she’d ridden right into his smithy.” If you and your knight would follow me. I’ll lead you right to him. Later if you have some time might you sign your portrait for me. You are even more beautiful in real life than the portrait.”

  I didn’t know what to say so I just stammered out a thank you. Ronan and I followed him into the mine, and what a mine. The walls looked like a beautiful painting of a royal palace, but it wasn’t a painting, it was a carving of the scene right in the walls. The ceiling was carved with intricate designs. The only thing without a carved picture or design was the floor and that was as smooth as glass and highly polished. It wasn’t just this entrance hall that was a work of art ; every room that we’d entered was even grander than the last.

  The most impressive of all was the Thane’s Throne Room / Banquet Hall with a huge carved marble table complete with carved marble chairs and benches all highly polished. As soon as we entered the room, our young guide ran ahead to presumably the Thane to announce our arrival. We continued walking at the same pace. But a second after the young dwarf began to speak, the older dwarf jumped from his carven throne and rushed toward us.

  He stopped about five feet before us and bowed low. Popped back up and said.

  “I’m Thane Grimr Stonefingers, it’s my honor to welcome the Slutty Princess to Ironheart Delve. Please call me Grimr. We have ordered a great banquet tonight in your honor princess, if you follow Runar he’ll show you to your chambers where you may refresh yourself from your journey. I’ll send Runar back to guide you again to the banquet in a few hours."

  “Thank you Thane Grimr for your marvelous hospitality.”

  Then he bowed to me again and I bowed back and we followed Runar to the most luxurious room I’d ever been in and I lived in a castle. The bed could easily hold six or eight humans, maybe sixteen dwarfs would easily fit. There was a side board loaded with fruits, baked goods and candies. Vases full of flowers were all over the chamber then you had the carven walls and ceiling.

  The bathing room contained an eight foot diameter natural hot spring with a drain in the center of the floor. Clearly you washed yourself outside the bath and used the supplied buckets to rinse before entering the hot spring.

  After Runar finished showing us the rooms he bowed and vowed to come back for us in two hours time. I turned to Ronan.

  “I supposed you set this all up.”

  “What? How could I do that? We've been together the whole time.”

  “True, then what is going on here? They’re all acting like I’m the most famous person in the world and where did they ever hear that appellation. I know they don’t speak to the dragon. He hates them and would kill them on sight.”

  “I don’t know, I suppose that we’ll find out tonight right. I think I’ll take a bath before dinner, care to join me it looks like you could fit ten in that bath.

  All of our belongings had been brought from the horse and put on top of a dresser. I pulled out my best dress and laid it carefully on the bed trying to smooth out some of the wrinkles. I still didn’t know what I could possibly offer the Thane to cease his mining operation.

  So I went and joined Ronan in the bath and it was glorious. If I had a bath like this I might never leave the room. After my fingers were sufficiently wrinkly I did get out of the bath and got myself dressed for the banquet.

  Shortly after I was dressed and ready to go, Runar was back to guide us back to the main hall. We were still half way down a long corridor when I heard the hubbub of many voices.

  As soon as we entered the hall, at first a still fell over the crowd of dwarves then a cheer went up as they all raised their mugs to me and pointed to the twenty foot tall totally nude marble statue of me in the same exact pose I’d sat for Bethany the sculptor in Redhollow Vale. My face felt like it was on fire, I was blushing so badly. Ronan was trying not to laugh out loud but he wasn’t very successful.

  Runar continued to guide us to our seats of honor next to the thane. I sat in the middle on the highest seat, with the Thane on my left and Ronan on my right and if I looked out over the assembled crowd I could see an incredibly large set of marble breasts.

  I started blushing all over again, I turned to the thane.

  “Thank you for such a wonderful honor Thane.”

  “No please we’ll be friends please just call me Grimr, princess. I apologize about the statue, I put our best sculptors on it this afternoon after meeting you in person. They haven’t even come close to your true beauty. Of course they only had the magical statuetette to go off of. If you could sit for them I’m sure they’d do a better job. But for now please accept my apology.”

  “Statuetette?”

  ‘Yes, we just got the first shipment of them the day before yesterday. When people saw how enchanting they were, fights broke out because there wasn’t enough to go round. So I ruled that until we get another shipment they must be shared. But we can talk about all that tomorrow, for tonight just enjoy yourself please. We have entertainment planned for after dinner is served.”

  I’m not sure how many courses were served but there were many. At the end a layer cake with fifteen or twenty layers was rolled up in front of our table. I was asked to go down and make the first slice, which I did to deafening cheers. The dwarves were drinking their strong ale by the gallon but not one of them appeared at all drunk. Ronan had two mugs and looked like he was ready to nod off, and that man could hold his booze.

  Then the entertainment started jugglers, juggling everything from light torches to hatchets to knives. Gymnasts doing flips and handstands. Fake battles with wooden axes and shields. Finally the bards appeared last. At first they were just walking around playing instrumental tunes on their lutes. I was getting tired, even yawned once, it must be very late. Then one of the bards approached our table and began to sing “The Ballad of the Slutty Princess and the Virgin Cult.”